//------------------------------//
// Stop laughing, Tia! 
// Story: Little loony Luna and crazy caffeinated Celestia's life in Canterlot 
// by Vidhwansak 
//------------------------------//


Stop laughing, Tia!




"...And so, Quackum here then proceeded to eat the rest of her sandwich while epic sax music was playing in the background."

"Quack."

With a smile, Chrysalis gently nudged the duck on her head. "That's right, Quackum! Though, I really wish you had more of a reason to assault a guard; after all, they're paid and trained to protect us from evil threats so that we don't have to fight them ourselves!"

"...Do I even want to know what became of the guard?" Celestia questioned, realizing that she now knew the reason of why a few guards have asked for restraining orders on Quackum, specifically the guards near the kitchen.

"...You really don't, Tia. Let's just say that another bed is being occupied in the hospital, with doctors saying the guard may have a fear of ducks for the rest of his life."

With a sudden splutter, Cadence snorted her Parasprite through her nose, and quickly excused herself. "S-Sorry...O-Ow..."

Wincing, Celestia tried not to think about the guard and Cadence as she speared some lettuce onto her fork. The three of them were sitting in a cafe in Canterlot, enjoying the view that their current vantage point offered them. While it wasn't as grand as one of the many balconies that gave the viewer a lovely view of the castle gardens, their current view wasn't any less grand. After all, to have such a great, private view over Canterlot's main square was very hard to get, and this cafe worked hard to keep its place here, as the faint rustling of other diners reached up to the three alicorns currently dining in the room. Or two, since Cadence left the room to tend to her 'injuries'.

Wanting to break the silence, Chrysalis tried to strike a conversation with the remaining alicorn in the room. "Anyway, Tia, how are we going to meet with the crystal ponies and their request for some extra supplies? They're asking a fair lot from us." 

Celestia didn't answer her immediately as she speared another leaf of lettuce, observing it before setting her fork down with a sigh. "I don't know; and that's the problem. I want to help Cadence, Shining Armor and their ponies, but I also cannot anger our farmers and business owners by asking them to make excess supplies for the crystal ponies; they would lose far too much profit, and that's something I certainly wouldn't want to do that. We've also sent them quite a large amount of supplies so far, so there's bound to be ponies crying out that I am helping 'too much'. There's just no possible way to please both groups at the same time."

Quackum jumped off of Chrysalis' head, and proceeded to waddle around on the table, though she had the sense not to walk on the food. Chrysalis shot Quackum a stern glare before addressing Celestia. "Well, why not have the crystal ponies pay for the supplies? I understand their economy is very unstable, but I'm sure they could cough up something. I mean, crystal ponies, living in the crystal empire, that sounds like a lot of crystals."

"The problem with that is the fact that crystals are of low monetary value since there's such an excess amount of them in the Crystal empire. There's also not much demand for crystals anyway, so they are worth virtually nothing."

"So much for that." At the end of Chrysalis' words, hoof steps were heard, drawing near them. The voice belonging to those hooves called out, sounding very embarrassed.

"S-Sorry, auntie Tia, Chrys."

"It's quite alright, Caddy, I understand that must have been...'Painful'." Celestia looked up to see a red faced Cadence, who sat back down on her seat, pushing her plate away.

"I'm...Not hungry anymore. So, auntie Tia...What are you going to do about our current situation?"

There's nothing much I can do. Unless... The beginnings of a plan formed in Celestia's mind, and she quickly went through the pros and cons of such an idea. "Hmm..." On one hoof, I gain virtually nothing from this and my ponies get angry at me, as well as losing a little political support. On the other, certain farms and factories such as Applejack's farm and Fancy Pants' assets are still willing to donate to the crystal empire, so it won't be too much of a strain for the big, multi-bit companies that have supplied the most. I also get a laugh out of this, which is worth a lot.

"Oh, look, Tia is actually thinking for once." The jab came from Chrysalis, who was trying to get Quackum off the ceiling with a plunger. 

"Shut up, Chrys. Caddy, I was thinking...I may be able to pull a few more strings and send you the supplies that your ponies need, though, of course, there is something I must ask of you first."

With a sigh, Cadence rubbed the base of her horn. I hate playing these political games with my auntie...She's so much better at them than I am. She also asks for things that are just slightly pushing it, but I have no choice. "Very well, for my ponies. Within reason, of course."

"This will perfectly be within your abilities, Caddy, I assure you. I simply want you to deeply kiss Shining Armor."

The look on disbelief was something that Celestia would forever treasure. "Uh, okay? I mean, he is my husband, auntie..."

Here comes the punchline. "Ah, yes, that's true! However, I didn't say 'I want you to deeply kiss your husband Shining Armor."

What is she...Wait... Cadence's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You aren't possibly implying that..."

With a look over towards Chrysalis, Celestia began snickering. "Oh yes, I'm implying that."

"Wait, what?" Chrysalis had just taken Quackum off of the ceiling, and only heard the end of what the two alicorns were talking about. "Did I miss something important?"

"You did." Celestia smirked at Cadence, enjoying the look of indecision on her face. "Your move, niece; after all, they really do need those supplies, and you're getting them virtually free!."

You have got to be kidding me. Cadence watched Celestia's smug grin, then looked over to Chrysalis' questioning gaze before sighing explosively. To heck with it! It's just one kiss, and I'm sure we'll all soon forget about this incident. I hope. "Chrysalis, can you do me a favor?"

Chrysalis waved a hoof in Cadence's general direction. "Sure, Caddy. What do you want?"

My husband had better not hear about this; he'll go nuts! "Could you please stand up and change into the form of my husband, Shining Armor, for a few moments, Chrys?"

What an odd request. Still...I see no harm in it. Slowly, Chrysalis stood up from her chair, and focused some magic through her horn. With a dim flash of light, Chrysalis changed into Shining Armor, though, to the surprise of the other two alicorns, didn't turn into his correct gender. The result was a mare that very similarly looked like Shining Armor, who grinned sheepishly at them. "Changing into a stallion requires a lot more effort on my part, and takes far more time for something that I'm sure would be wasted. Just pretend I'm a stallion."

"Well...This just got a little more interesting." Ignoring the glare of death Cadence shot at her, Celestia grabbed some popcorn and waited for Cadence to make her move.

Chrysalis was more interested in the popcorn than what Cadence wanted. "Where'd you get the popcorn, Tia?"

With a shrug, Celestia mumbled through a mouthful of popcorn. "I don't know." 

"Why do you eat something if you don't know where it came fro-" Chrysalis, now looking like a female version of Shining Armor, was suddenly swept off of her hooves by Cadence into a deep kiss that immediately sent Celestia into a world of laughter (and pain) as she fell off her chair, laughing hysterically at the scene playing out in front of her.

T-This is so perfect, C-Chrys didn't see it coming a-at all!

Cadence held the kiss for another ten seconds before dropping a red-faced Chrysalis on the floor (who fell with a very heavy thud), and glaring with distaste at Celestia. "Stop laughing, Tia! I-It wasn't that funny!"

"Y-You should see the looks on both your faces, ahaha! T-This is priceless!"

"Hmph..." At least I get my supplies; I'd go crazy if I had to hear one more crystal pony complaining that they didn't have macaroni and cheese for dinner.