"Iron Will's gonna need a few minutes..." The Minotaur groaned, wiggling around in the ditch he had created after being knocked backward by the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-and-One. "Get out of here, friends!" He waved a trembling arm away from himself. "Bring help!"
"That's crazy, we're not just gonna leave you here-whoa!" Spike shouted as Zecora head-butted the baby dragon, flipping him over and onto her back. Zecora, Gilda, and Trixie took off running, leaving Iron Will behind. "What are you guys doing!?" Spike cried out as he extended an arm towards his fallen friend.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie likes this no more than you, Spike." Trixie huffed as they ran, speaking quickly. "But we already know they won't harm Iron Will—they need us all for their show!"
"She's right, little dude," Gilda said. "As long as at least one of us gets away and gets help, we'll still win!" Spike was about to protest, but gulped when he beheld the towering, mechanical monster lumbering towards them. It was gaining.
"Speaking of which, I must interject," Zecora said as they got closer to the tree-line of the nearby forest. "Gilda's wings afford her the greatest chance of escape, correct?"
"Yeah," Gilda said, nodding. "And I'd really like to just take off, but we're in this together, right?"
"But we can't be recaptured together, like you guys said," Spike conceded, shaking his head. "Grab Trixie and fly away from here. Get help, and come back for us."
"What about you two?" Trixie asked, frowning.
"We'll keep the chase going for as long as we can. Zecora, I hate to ask, but—"
"You need not ask, my little friend," Zecora said, interrupting Spike, "we'll go home together, in the end." She narrowed her gaze towards the approaching forest, her pace quickening just a bit more.
"And you guys are sure about this?" Gilda asked. Suddenly, a gigantic hand slapped the ground behind them, causing them all to leap into the air.
"Yes, get going!" Spike ordered. Gilda spread her wings and took flight, grabbing hold of Trixie in the process. They broke away from Spike and Zecora, and flew away.
"Brother?!" Flim swiveled in his seat to watch two of the escapees fly away.
"We'll worry about them later!" Flam shouted. "First and foremost we need to secure the dragon!"
"But they're heading into the forest!" Flim whined.
"Ready the barrel cannons!" Flam snapped in response. Flim nodded softly and smacked a nearby button. A fragment of each of the Cider Squeezy's forearms split away, rising above the rest of the extremeties, which shortened themselves in length to fill the empty space.
"Barrel cannons?" Zecora asked, faintly overhearing them.
"The previous model of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy was able to pack the cider it produced into sealed wooden barrels!" Spike explained. "I guess they turned those barrels into cannons or something?" Spike's question was answered in the form of exploding gunpowder, followed swiftly by a barrel crashing into the ground in front of them, its open end face-down and embedded into the ground. It was big enough to, at least, contain Zecora.
"You were half-right!" Zecora screamed as Spike began to gnaw his fingernails. Two more barrels hit the ground, each getting a little closer to Spike and Zecora, the latter of whom darted to the side and began running parallel to the forest. A volley of barrels blocked their path every step of the way. "How many of those things do they have?!" Zecora asked as she skipped to the side to avoid the edge of another incoming barrel.
"Back in Ponyville, they were able to produce a small mountain of cider barrels, way larger than the machine itself," Spike said as he bounced along on Zecora's back. "They must be using some kind of magic to store them all! Who knows when they'll run out of ammunition?!"
***
"Doesn't feel right leaving everyone behind," Gilda muttered as they flew over Vanhoover.
"No, it doesn't," Trixie agreed over the sound of the rushing wind, craning her neck up at Gilda. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is open to suggestions if you've got them!"
"Hey, is that Grizelda?" a voice called out from the ground. Gilda and Trixie grunted a synchronous "Huh?" as they looked down.
"Hey, yeah! And she's carrying the Great and Powerful Trixie! What's going on?" said another voice. Below them, the citizens of Vanhoover were starting to gather to stare up at the spectacle.
"And look at all those spotlights out by the forest! Is that music I hear?" an additional villager asked.
"Um... yeah!" Gilda said. "Um... come one, come all! Witness a... special... farewell show that we're totally doing right this second!"
"Emphasis on the 'witness' part!" Trixie added as they both produced the largest, tooth-filled smiles they could manage and nodded profusely. "We will be performing all new tricks that nopony has seen before!"
"For free!" Gilda said. "And... it's almost over! So you'd all better get over there and see what's happening now!"
That was all the crowd needed to hear. They stampeded toward the spotlights and pre-recorded fanfare, hoping to see just a little bit more from their favorite performers.
"Well, that's something," Trixie said.
"We going back now? The audience is gonna need an experienced showpony to announce what they're seeing," Gilda said with a wink.
"Actually..." Trixie replied, a sly grin spreading across her face. "I think I know one more performer we can invite to our Five-Minute Reunion Special."
***
Zecora, having run out of options, turned to face the brothers, whose transport was slowly skulking towards them. "Finally wised up and quit running, eh?" Flam asked, raising a brow and sporting a grin. "Smart move. This'll go a lot better for you both if you surrender peacefully. I'm thinking only four days without food. Sound fair, Flim?"
"Sounds fair, Flam!" his brother replied, mirroring the grin.
"Zecora?" Spike asked.
"Spike..." Zecora whispered, turning her head to the side. "If there's anything you can remember about that machine that can help us here, anything at all, now is the time to save our rears."
"It's so different now from how it was back then, but it looks like most of the original functions are still there," Spike said as the construct drew closer.
"The Apple Family kept the farm when the day was done, surely you can recall how it is they won!" The zebra hissed, slowly backing away. The machine took another step closer.
"They won because of Twilight and the others," Spike said softly. "They were able to work together to produce more cider than the brothers." Spike's eyes grew wide. "No, wait, that's right! Flim and Flam still won the competition, but lost afterward because they had..."
"They had what?" Zecora asked. She gasped as she bumped into a barrel that had impacted behind them.
"Aw, tough luck, Zebralia," Flam said, stroking his mustache. "Looks like you and your little friend have nowhere left to run!" The left cannon launched another barrel. Zecora bucked her hind legs forward, sending Spike falling to the ground as the barrel encased her. Spike turned to face the barrel, gasped, and immediately began trying to pry the wooden projectile up out of the ground, but it was too deeply implanted.
"Run away, and do not worry!" Spike heard Zecora say from inside the barrel. "We still need you to tell our story!"
Suddenly, fireworks erupted in the sky above. Bright, multicolored bursts accompanied the familiar sound of a roaring crowd. The two stallions and the dragon all looked and beheld the source of the light, a smirking Trixie, and the source of the cheering: what had to have been the entire population of Vanhoover. As this realization sank into the heads of the three combatants, every spotlight Flim and Flam had left back at their campsite suddenly shone upon them and the surrounding area.
"It's Dragon!" one mare shouted.
"What is that thing they're fighting?" a young colt asked.
"I've never seen anything like it before!" a stallion said.
"I dig giant robots!" another mare added.
"What is going on?" Zecora asked, pressing her ear against the inside of her wooden prison.
"It's Trixie!" Spike said. "And I think Gilda's working the spotlights. They brought the whole town!"
"Fillies and gentlecolts," Trixie shouted, turning to address the audience. "You are here to bare witness to the truth! The Flim Flam Brothers have been holding us all against our will and controlling our actions with magic!" The crowd gasped.
"Indeed," Trixie continued, enjoying everyone's rapt attention. "They pay us nothing, feed us very little, and keep us locked in cages! Even now, as we desperately fight for our freedom, the brothers have loosed upon us the giant monstrosity you see behind me!"
The crowd roared, hissed, and shook their hooves at Flim and Flam, who peered down at the audience from behind the armrest of their couch.
"Seems as though we've encountered a slight problem here in Vanhoover," Flim whispered, leaning towards his brother.
"Nopony wants to watch our show," Flam said, ducking as an empty cider bottle flew past his head and a rotten tomato hit him square on the nose. "Next town?"
"Next town!" Flim said, nodding.
"You will not be escaping that easily!" Trixie shouted. She put her lips around her hoof and whistled sharply. Flim and Flam raised their eyebrows in unison, but their expressions quickly took on a more fearful nature as they heard the sound of a lion's roar and the flapping of wings. They craned their necks upward to behold the Manticore from their act rocketing down toward them.
"Our pet returns to bite the hand that feeds." Flim hissed, gritting his teeth and regaining his composure. "You know... hypothetically feeds."
"Too bad this hand is reinforced with steel!" Flam replied, twirling his mustache as the Cider Squeezy swung its right arm toward the Manticore. The creature only barely managed to roll over in the air to avoid the blow, but had to fly upward and away to avoid a punch from the left arm.
"Yes, have at you!" Flim shouted, directing the machine to stagger after the Maticore.
"Give it what's for! Give them all what's for!" Flam exclaimed as the crowd scattered to avoid the machine's giant feet.
"Spike!" Gilda called out, landing next to the dragon.
"Gilda!" Spike placed a hand on the griffon's shoulder. "I know how to stop that thing!"
"I was hoping you'd say that. Flim and Flam have totally lost it!" Gilda frowned.
"I just need to get up to where they are!" Spike said, pointing up at the red couch upon which the brothers sat.
"Say no more!" Gilda grabbed Spike by the scales on his back and tossed him onto her own. "Stay off the back seat—it's seen better days. Hang on tight, little dude!"
Spike whimpered a bit as he wrapped his arms around Gilda's neck before the two of them bolted into the sky. It didn't take long for Flim and Flam to notice the second airborne threat. They doubled their efforts as they tried to lay hands upon both the Manticore and the griffon.
"We are so dead!" Spike shouted, scrunching his eyes shut.
"Oh please!" Gilda rolled her eyes. "Those are two of the slowest moving things I've ever had to dodge in the air." True to her word, Gilda weaved among the flailing arms and flying fists with relative ease.
"Duck and move, brother!" Flam ordered.
"Pugilism! Capital idea!" Flim said. As Gilda closed in on the brothers, the Cider Squeezy lowered its stance, putting plenty of distance between themselves and the griffon. Its left arm snatched her out of the air, causing her to yelp, and grasping her firmly in its fist. Spike, who'd been knocked off Gilda's back, was now falling.
"Manny, fetch!" Trixie commanded, cupping her hooves to her mouth. Spike quickly found himself uplifted again, this time with his tail grasped loosely between the Manticore's jaws.
"Please don't bite down!" The Manticore nodded, inadvertently jerking Spike back and forth. "Alright, release the Spike Bomb!" Spike shouted.
The Manticore complied. Spike yelped a little as he fell a few more feet before bouncing against the cushion of the couch, landing between Flim and Flam.
"What do you think you're doing, Dragon?" Flam and his brother glared at Spike.
"My name is Spike!" Spike said as he inhaled sharply and exhaled a rather large burst of green flame. Flim and Flam both scooted away hoping to avoid the heat. The crowd below cheered Spike's name over and over again.
The baby dragon formed a tight circle with his lips and directed the fire in a concentrated stream directly into the receptor node that the brothers had always used to activate the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy's cider-making functions. Because of the intensity of Spike's flame, the magic poured into that portion of the machine was tremendous.
"That's too much power, our device is no longer equipped to produce cider at that pace!" Flim shouted, tackling Spike and pinning him to the surface below the couch.
"Too late." Spike grinned as the large vacuuming apparatus used for collecting apples from the trees detached from the back of the Cider Squeezy and positioned itself over the nearby forest. While drawing in a mighty gust of wind, it began to suck each tree up from its roots, one-by-one. It only took three trees reaching the processing center of the machine for the debris to jam up the works.
"No, what have you done?!" Flam cried, hooves over his mouth and tears in his eyes. The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy began to halt all of its motions, its joints and gears jerking back and forth as it tried to work through the disaster that was raging within its core.
"She can work through this," Flim said, nodding as sweat poured down from his brow. "She just needs more power!"
Flam nodded and his horn glowed even brighter than it had been as he sent another surge of magical energy into the node that controlled the Cider Squeezy's movement capabilities. As he had predicted, the mechanized menace began to move more deliberately as chunks of bark and leaf sputtered out from all of its crevices.
"Keep at it!" Flim shouted as he continued to hold Spike down. "She's almost out of the woods!" He looked down at Spike and grinned. "Or rather, the woods are almost out of her." He rapidly raised and lowered his brow.
"That isn't funny," Spike said flatly.
The Cider Squeezy jerked forward in one abrupt motion as a massive amount of debris was expelled from it, sending Spike and Flim tumbling over the front. Spike hung onto the edge with a single claw while Flim bit down on his tail to secure himself.
"Spike!" Trixie and Gilda screamed in unison, the latter watching helplessly from the Cider Squeezy's grasp.
"Hang on, brother!" Flam said. "We're almost mobile again! I'll catch you both!"
That's when Spike turned his attention away from Flam and saw a blue mass in the distance barreling across the landscape toward them.
"Iron Will got his second wind, you two-bit hacks!" the minotaur shouted, charging towards the Cider Squeezy at a speed that astonished the crowd.
"Go, Mighty Minotaur, go!" a small colt cheered as the audience erupted in agreement.
"That's... not going to end well," Flam muttered, hiding under the sofa.
"When somepony tries to block," Iron Will said as he hunched forward and put out one final burst of speed, "SHOW THEM THAT YOU ROCK!" He kicked against the ground, propelling himself into the air with all his might. He positioned his left shoulder and arm forward and tensed his muscles. Hitting the Cider Squeezy in the center of its chest, he body-slammed the monster.
The resounding "clang" and the creaking of dented metal were accompanied by the sight of the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Six-Thousand-and-One tumbling backwards, coming to a rest flat on the ground as dust was sent billowing into the air and the shockwave made everyone stumble backwards.
Spike, Flim, and Flam were all sent rolling across the plains. Spike came to a stop several yards before Flim and Flam did. The sound of countless gasps could be heard.
Though his head ached, Spike slowly opened his eyes to see Iron Will, Gilda, Trixie, and Zecora staring down at him with wide-eyes and frowns. He managed a weak laugh and gave them the thumbs-up.
"He's okay!" Iron Will shouted. The crowd went wild. They whistled, they cheered, they cried, they stomped, and clapped vigorously as Gilda and Trixie lifted Spike to his feet. Facing their audience, all five companions took several deep bows as the audience cheered even more loudly.
"This just..." Flam coughed, hoisting himself up onto his elbows. "This just did not go the way I thought it would. At all."
"You said it! Let's cut our losses and vamoose!" Flim said, struggling to stand up.
"And where do you two think you're going?" Spike asked. Flim and Flam turned around to see their five stars and a snarling manticore standing over them.
"Don't eat them," Trixie said to the manticore as it licked its lips. "They aren't worth the indigestion."
"No, instead of being eaten, Iron Will submits that they deserve to be fed!" the minotaur said, cracking his fingers.
"All the knuckle-sandwiches they can eat!" Gilda added, grinning as she clasped one claw in the other. Flim and Flam trembled as their former captives closed in around them.
***
"I think that'll about do it, right, Zecora?" Spike asked as he and his friends finished tying off the last of five sacks at the edge of the brothers' camp.
"Indeed," Zecora replied, nodding. "This has been a successful divide of the profits among us five!"
"Here," Trixie said, levitating her bag towards Spike, a smirk on her face. "The Great and Powerful Trixie's reputation as a slayer of giant robots will no doubt earn her plenty of business. Buy something nice for your friend, Rarity." Her smirk changed to a warm smile as she wrapped an arm around the dragon's neck and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you for everything!" This caused Spike to blush and mumble his own gratitude quietly.
"You rock, dude!" Gilda said, catching Spike in a headlock and grinding her knuckles against the top of his head.
"We couldn't have escaped without you, my friend. If ever you need Iron Will's help with anything, you need only ask," Iron Will said, extending his hand.
"It's true, just as we are, and as is the crowd, your friend Twilight Sparkle will be quite proud," Zecora said, gently patting Spike on the head as he shook Iron Will's hand.
"Aw, thanks, guys. I'm just glad we all made it out of this together," Spike said as he scratched the back of his head. The other four nodded as the Manticore ate its fill of Flim's and Flam's rations nearby.
"Spike!" a voice called out. Spike's head swerved to see Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy emerge from the distant crowd.
"Twilight! Guys!" Spike ran away from the campsite. He quickly passed Flim and Flam, who were tied together back-to-back with a long rope and covered in bruises, and dove into Twilight's waiting embrace.
"I was so worried!" Twilight exclaimed as she nuzzled him.
"We've been looking all over Equestria for you!" Rarity shouted, embracing the dragon after Twilight had released him.
"I knew you guys would find me," Spike said, his smile extending from one ear to the other.
"Reckon we're a mite late, though," Applejack said, glancing towards Flim and Flam. "So those snakes really were behind all this."
"They don't look so good," Rainbow Dash added, grinning.
"It serves them right for kidnapping innocent creatures," Fluttershy said, frowning.
"I'm gonna throw you the biggest 'Welcome Home' party you've ever seen!" Pinkie said as she snatched Spike off the ground and tossed him into the air.
"Catch you later, Spike," Gilda called out as she, Iron Will, and Trixie walked past Spike and his friends, giving them each a soft nod. The six mares stared wide-eyed at the faces they recognized, but were unable to question the situation before the three of them disappeared into the crowd. Zecora came to a stop in front of Twilight.
"Zecora, you're here too?" Twilight asked, offering a smile.
"Yes, I was a part of this trying ordeal," Zecora said, nodding. "But Spike here saved us all for real!"
***
"So, what's next for you two?" Gilda asked as she, Trixie, and Iron Will approached the Vanhoover Inn.
"Well, you remember the discussion Iron Will and I had during that first day that Spike was frozen?" Trixie asked, turning to Gilda.
"Oh yeah!" Gilda nodded. "So you guys are going into business together, then?"
"We sure are," Iron Will said, thumping his chest. "With our combined showmanship, we'll no doubt put together an act that will dazzle all of Equestria!"
"There's room for you, too, if you're interested," Trixie said, extending her hoof to Gilda.
"Sounds like a blast," Gilda replied, glancing off to the side. "And I might take you up on that someday. For now, though, I'm just looking forward to having some time to myself."
Gilda bid her new friends farewell, flying off into the dark sky as Iron Will and Trixie retired for the night.
***
"Geez, that sounds nuts!" Rainbow Dash said after Zecora and Spike finished telling their story.
"Always knew Flim and Flam were a few apples short of a mug of cider, but it sounds like they really lost their marbles after Ponyville," Applejack said.
"Spike, I have to say, I'm very impressed with the way you handled yourself in this situation," Twilight said. "And I'm very proud of you!"
"Aw, it was nothin', really," Spike said, waving the compliment off. "I just took your advice and used all the stuff you taught me. But yeah, I was pretty awesome for a while, there."
Twilight smiled and shook her head. Nearby, Princess Luna was directing two members of the Royal Guard to lead a now-shackled Flim and Flam towards a cage sitting atop a chariot.
"In the end, this is for the best," Flim said, turning to Spike and smiling at him, a few of his teeth missing.
"What?" Spike asked, raising his brow.
"Don't cry, little Dragon. Letting you go was the right thing to do," Flam said, shaking his head and sniffling.
"Get help," Spike said, lowering his brow.
"Say, brother of mine..." Flim said as he stepped up into his cage. "You know what place probably doesn't have much to look forward to in the way of show-stopping entertainment?"
"Prison?" Flam asked, joining his brother in the paddy-wagon.
"Exactly, prison!" Flim replied, nodding vigorously. "Sew a few jumpsuits together to make some curtains, put a stage together with the cafeteria tables, and we'll make a killing on admissions alone!"
"We'll have to take up smoking in order to utilize the profits, but you're right! I think we're going to be the next big thing in Canterlot Penitentiary! Driver?" Flam turned his attention toward the Pegasi who would pull the cart. "We insist that you take us there immediately!" The guards slammed the cage door shut and the Pegasi took to the sky.
"Huh." Spike grunted, shrugging his shoulders. "Silver linings, I guess." He and the others laughed together as they set out for their return trip to Ponyville.