12. Epilogue: A New Record
"Rainbow." Princess Celestia said softly.
"I know you wish for more than that. Believe me, so do I, but this is the most we can do now."
The little pegasus with the rainbow mane nodded slowly.
"But will it help?"
"Of course it will." she heard a voice behind her promise.
It was the voice of Twilight, who was busy putting a small box on the table of Celestia's study with the help of Applejack.
"At least it's safe." she continued.
"You simply tell him everything you want to say, and we put it in his house."
She was joined by a white pony with a carefully groomed purple mane.
"Twilight and I. It will be a mere cakewalk, darling. We go in, put the record on, and are back here again in no time."
“There is no way he’ll miss that.”
Carefully, Twilight magically lifted one of the records in her Princess' library over to the table. Unlocking the box, she opened the player with the microphone attached on top. She fit the record inside and put the grammophone needle on it.
"Now, Rainbow, be sure you talk into this thing only. Try not to breathe too much."
"If you say so." Dash replied and stepped forward nervously.
She spotted Fluttershy sitting in the far corner of the room, careful as to not disturb the recording. Even Pinkie Pie, loud and brash as she usually was, kept her company with a vigilant expression, and quiet as a mouse.
She sighed, and concentrated on the mic sticking out before her.
"This is for you, dad."
Twilight's horn flickered.
The grammophone's mechanism sprang into action, beginning to turn, carving the miniscule scratch into the wax plate.
"Ready when you are." Twilight whispered, bearing a warm smile.
“Okay…” Rainbow uttered in a trembling voice.
She harrumphed. Then she began.
“Dad… Dad. I don't know if you can... uh...”
The words became stuck in her throat.
She felt AJ’s comforting hoof on the back of her head.
“It’s alright, Sugarcube. Take a breath, and go right on.”
Rainbow’s head slumped. The she took a big, sating breath through her swollen nose, and resumed.
"I don't know if you can hear this, Dad... I was here. I missed you. And I still do.
Her mind skipped, jumping right to the core of her worries.
"I know what you're thinking... after all I have done... how could I... risk to come back..."
She saw Princess Celestia sitting nearby, softly shaking her head, telling her not to despair. But Rainbow could not comply just yet.
"I feel horrible. Dad. What will they do to you? If you can hear this, thank Celestia you do! If I had known... I wouldn't have done it. But I didn't know. Does that make it okay? The rainboom, it was such a great... grand moment for me before. Always when I looked back on it, it made me so happy. Does this make me a bad pony, dad? I don't know."
Her mouth scrounged up as another wave of pain overtook her.
“You didn’t tell me…about the destruction. Maybe you knew, maybe you didn't. I don’t know how… if I should thank you for that. Would it have been that much better if you did?"
Her head slumped a little towards the microphone.
"Oh dad, I really wish you could be here with me! Everyone's so happy and peaceful in Equestria... It's almost like I have been there my whole life... somehow...”
It was so obscure. She knew she was here for much longer than just two agonising days. She had family here. Parents. A home. She knew it, she knew it all to well… and yet, in some way, so was Brian and his home her home. She had spent a good portion of her life twice, and in wo completely opposite envrnoments. She felt confused. The forlorn feeling of stalessness was indescribable, almost too unbearable, like a vacuum of emotions, something foreign and unfamiliar lingering in the direct vicinity of her mind. Her memory was almost a curse, not a gift.
“It has been almost two days. For me. It has been two years for you, I still cannot believe it. You still have my pictures, the ones Celestia gave you, have you? I tried to explain everything in that letter I gave to you before I went. I hope it cleared everything up. Oh, I have so many questions I want to ask you! I want to know how you feel, how your life went. Two years is a long time. It’s not fair, why can’t I know? When I was here, only two hours ago, and came across your ‘friend’… at first, I was so happy. I thought that you had told someone. That someone else knew. That secrecy wasn’t such problem anymore. That’s some crazy wishful thinking, huh? I had a lot of such thoughts recently. I don’t know if it was the same with you… Every night, I was dreaming that somehow, every difference between this world and… and my world was simply lifted, and I could come and go as I liked. And you too. I feel so bad for leaving you behind there, especially after this… this...” She gulped.
“Dad, I came back because I simply couldn’t take it. The dreams came every night, every day, I could not close my eyes and sleep without… the experiencing whole torture from scratch. I begged Princess Celestia that I could finally come back and be done with it… just for a few minutes, to make sure you are alright and catch up on times… How would you have felt about it? If you had known? These trips inbetween the dimensions, as Twilight called it, they’re not easy to maintain, they are dangerous and complicated. I begged just for one more try. So I can leave my… past… in peace. Would you have approved?"
Rainbow fell silent for a few seconds, as if the was expecting her 'father's' reply.
"Dad, I am talking to you to tell you; I still love you. I miss you. And I am sorry. If I have done something wrong that I should feel about, there you go. I am sorry then. But I still cannot, despite everything, write off our time together as a disaster…”
She smiled weakly, much to the joy of her friends who were listening.
“It was the best time of my life for me, if only of our life together. Because there are two, two lives for me, which I always have to remind myself of. But still, I would not trade in those memories for anything. Not a single one of them. I couldn’t bear to do that. Princess Celestia, Dad, she proposed that, to make it... easier for myself. She said, that she could clear my mind, erase the memories... throw off some ballast, in a way. She said that I belong here, not on earth. She is right, dad, but I said no. Maybe it’s true than I can barely live with the knowledge that I have lived through my life twice… but I sure I could not live at all without it. I thanked Celestia that she would do something like that for me, but I also thanked her that she understood."
She paused for a moment.
"Dad, I was thinking. If we already lived through this life together halfway, what about the other half? Perhaps, I was just thinking, we can in fact meet again. Even though the time portal is occasionally unstable, it’s not impossible to maintain. I would like to see you again. Properly, this time. I'm afraid that otherwise, I won’t ever be at peace. At least one more meeting, nothing more. How about tomorrow morning? It’ll be about four months for you, dad. Twilight said, that she can tell me the time even more precisely.”
Rainbow shifter her glance over to her lavender friend.
Twilight whispered something.
“She said, it would be any day from the first of of October to the 15th… half a month. I could come, be inside the house at any hour, really. Can you wait, dad? Can you afford to stay at home for fifteen days? We may have to watch out for each other. Who knows, dad, maybe you can even invite someone? Someone who knows about…"
She bit her lip.
"I’m sorry, I’m citing my own hopes again. Scratch that. Also, dad, I understand if you do not want me to come, at least not on those days. If you can listen to this before October, this record probably passed through the portal, just like I could in four months. As you can see, it’s no problem, and not even that dangerous. With that said, dad…”
She became a bit more silent, her brightened, hopeful countenance, freezing a little bit in fear and nervousness.
“If you don’t hear this in time, because you chose not to, or…” she closed her eyes at the thought.
“… you aren’t even there to here it… then you can just tell me… by… not being there when I’m there. I told you, I'd understand. As you know, I never was that good at planning things…”
She looked around herself, at the expectant faces of her friends from Ponyville, and that of Princess Celestia. Then she turned back to the microphone.
“I guess that’s all I have to say, dad. All I had to say for now. I know there is so much more I would want to talk about. But let us do it another time. You know, properly.”
Again, she smiled a little.
“Dad, I send you the best wishes from Twilight, from Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Rarity, and Princess Celestia. I thank them for being so understanding. They were all well aware of the dangers of these trips, and yet they’ve been doing everything in their power to support me. They also want to support you, dad. We are not alone in this. We can make it.”
Solemnly, she placed on of her hooved on top of the microphone, giving her absent father a hoofbump.
“Soon, dad. I love you. Bye.”
That was it.
Under Twilight’s power, the needle slowly lifted from the disc with a thwack sound.
The record floated through the air, and carefully lowered itself into Twilight’s saddlebag.
“We're ready.”