"- do this." Elvis grumbled darkly as he continued to sit in his small chair, once again tied down. "I can't believe you're making me do this," he repeated.
"I didn't make you do anything, Elvis," Twilight rebutted in an even tone, "I gave you a choice, and you picked one."
"Rigged options are NOT choices, cabrona!" He barked, "And why do I have to be tied down again?"
"So you don't end up running away when we start the test to save our friend."
He continued to grumble bitterly in his seat. Along with Twilight, Fluttershy and the alabaster unicorn friend of hers worked diligently around the stage that they were on. The curtains were closed, the lighting was dim, and everything was being set in their proper place. Elvis looked around the area. Twilight explained that this little test was taking place here, in Ponyville's town hall, but to the demon, it looked more like an opera theater. With numerous balconies planted in certain sections, a large open area to seat perhaps hundreds of bodies, and an acoustic atmosphere strong enough to carry any voice, it all held Elvis' belief in the place firmly. Perhaps it even WAS an opera house before it became simply a town hall. He wouldn't be surprised if epic moments in their history were displayed here once upon a time.
"Alright, everypony," Twilight started.
"Ahem," Elvis cleared his throat, hinting in a correction for Twilight.
"Right. AND non-pony..." she continued, "Applejack and Rainbow Dash should be here any moment with the Pinkie clones. Is the seating area cleaned out properly?"
"It's spotless, dear," the fashionista replied.
"How about stage controls and lighting?"
"Everything is working. We'll be ready to go... erm, if you like." muttered the shy pegasus.
"Excellent. You ready Elvis?"
"Does it look like I have a choice?"
"Then, let's get on with this show."
Twilight walked forward, passed the curtains, and out to the stages front where she would likely be greeted by the approaching anticipated crowd. Sure enough, there was a loud bang, as the front doors to the hall slammed open as a herd of ponies ran inside, shouting FUN. Elvis cringed. No es bueno...
"Welcome, Pinkies, welcome," Twilight started. "Please have a seat and make yourselves comfortable."
The incessant bouncing and FUN shouting continued, unfazed by Twilight's, albeit polite, demands. Actually, Elvis thought, I think they just got louder...
"Ok..." Twilight started again, seemingly daunted by the ignorant clones, "I suppose you can't be comfortable staying in one place, but have a seat anyway!"
Elvis inwardly chuckled to himself as Twilight had such a miserable time controlling the crowd. Good freakin' luck, puta! Then, something happened that the bound demon didn't anticipate.
After a decently pregnant lull of silence from Twilight, she finally broke her composure with a decisive, "Sit. DOWN!" The room went quiet immediately. No bouncing. No FUN shouting. Not a peep or movement was heard. It was actually a bit intimidating.
"Better," she said, more cheerfully, "I suppose you are all wondering why I gathered you all here today."
Right on cue, one of them answered, "For fun?"
"No, just the opposite, actually." Before she could continue, the front door of the hall slammed open once again.
"Wait up!" a scratchy female voice exclaimed, "I've got one more! I found THIS one poking her hoof at the ground drawing... frowny faces," the voice ended her statement in slight confusion.
"Have her come sit with the others," Twilight said, followed by the sound of a small thud. Twilight addressed the crowd of pink once again. "Pinkies, you've been brought here to take a test." There was a collective groan of dismay following what was said. "Don't worry," she reassured them, "It's a simple test. A test only the real Pinkie Pie could complete." The sound of shrugs and accepting murmurs were heard. "Curtain please!" The curtain was drawn, and Elvis could finally see everything before him. The hall's main floor was absolutely packed with sitting pink ponies, all identical from one another.
He suddenly felt his chair and body get picked up by an aura of magic, pulled forward, and set closer to the front of the stage for the crowd to see. "The test..." she paused for dramatic effect, "Is this being here." Many of the Pinkies scratched their head. "These are the rules. I will ask you a series of questions, Pinkies. If you do not answer them correctly, you'll be sent back to the mirror pond. Each question will get more detailed to answer than the last. This means only the REAL Pinkie, whom knows their friends well, even their newest ones, would be able to answer them effectively. Are you ready?"
There were a lot of nervous glances made, but they all nodded. As fun as it was to be with many other copies, it wasn't as special or unique as being the only Pinkie.
"Alright, first question!" Twilight started, "What is his name?"
"OOH OOH!" one Pinkie shouted, "Big fat bald guy!"
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
It was actually quite a shocking display for Elvis. Twilight shot magic at the offending pink pony, whom suddenly expanded like a balloon in the air, and turned into a magical wisp before sailing out of the window.
"Uhm, ELVIS!" another Pinkie exclaimed, "His name is Elvis!"
"Correct," Twilight said, "Next question. What is his title?"
Some of them scratched their head for a moment. There was a long beat of silence before, "Master of Polka?"
Twilight looked towards the subject in his chair, seeking his judgement. Elvis merely shook his head. The decision was made.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"Mayor of a Little Town to the South?" Another guessed. Elvis again shook his head.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"Mighty Mouth of the Four Devas?" another guessed.
"Correct," Twilight responded, "What is his favorite color?"
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
An hour passed as the testing continued. So far, they were able to identify at least 20 fakes out of the group, all dealt with accordingly with the return spell. The only reason it took so long was because the Pinkies became more and more reluctant to answer. As for the questionnaire about Elvis, everypony found out the following; his favorite color was the color rose, his favorite past time was fighting, his second favorite was smoking, he prefers apples over oranges, fire breathing is a special talent of his, he once had a full head of hair but a bad stint with blue flames permanently burnt it off, he never lost a poker game, and his favorite brand of cigars were El Diablo Gold Trimmed Symphony Cigars, which can only be made at his home.
The time it was taking for a Pinkie to answer was starting to get to them, so Twilight decided to switch tactics up a bit, for experimental reasons.
"Alright, next question," Twilight began. "What was the first thing Pinkie did when Elvis showed up?"
Suddenly, because the question wasn't entirely about Elvis, the Pinkies gained more confidence, and began to answer a little more often. "Play a game?" one guessed.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"Throw him a party!"
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"I tackled him with a hug," one of them said in a flat and depressed tone.
"Correct." Twilight responded.
"Why didn't I think of that?" another asked in confusion.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
The fakes were falling for her trap, but she knew she couldn't press her luck, and decided to ask a new question.
"What did Pinkie do to win over Elvis?"
"'EY! She didn't win me over!" Elvis interjected.
"If that's how you're going to act when I give you a nice big cake as a welcome gift, then I won't do it again!" One of them said rather indignantly with a huff.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"No, you certainly won't," Elvis said, chuckling darkly to the irony of what just happened.
"Elvis!" Twilight chastised, "That wasn't very nice, even if she wasn't the real Pinkie!"
"Let me have a little fun here, at least. It's boring sitting here, acting as judge."
"Fun?" one of the Pinkies spoke up, "Did someone say fun? I wanna have fun too, Elmo!"
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAH!"
"This isn't funny Elvis!" Twilight barked at the demon, "We could very well lose our friend if we don't do this right."
"Yeah! Sunset is right!" another Pinkie said.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
Elvis couldn't control himself at that point. He was laughing so hard that he was crying. He found it hilarious to know that the clones were this stupid. Twilight glared daggers at the demon in question, but shook her head, realizing that he isn't at fault.
"MOVING ON!" the irritated unicorn barked. Everyone, even Elvis, became dead silent. "Now, Pinkies... Name Elvis' best friend back on his world."
Oh diablos mio, her we go, Elvis thought. "Look, where I come from, I don't have any friends."
"Then, how come you called Gene an amigo?" one pinkie asked.
"Who's Gene?" another spoke up to the first one.
"That puta, right there, is a fake!" Elvis barked.
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"You're enjoying this WAY too much." Twilight said flatly.
"What else am I supposed to do?"
"So, why do you call him an amigo?" one of them asked a second time.
"It's called ironic taunting, puta. Humans and Demons can't be friends. It isn't allowed. We are HIGHER than them. That's just how it is."
"That seems mean spirited."
"That's our life. Mean spirited," Elvis said in pride.
"This test is getting out of hoof," Twilight sighed, as her hoof planted against her face. Then, she had an idea. "Can any of you Pinkies tell me exactly who Gene is?"
"I dunno, but it sounds like he might like denim."
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
"He's from Prance!"
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
There were only two left at this point. The tension was so thick, it could replace jello. Both Pinkies sat there, scared of the outcome. In numbers, the chances of being zapped due to getting a question wrong by accident was decent enough. Then again, the real Pinkie wouldn't need to worry about that. After all, the real Pinkie would know her friends inside and out, even the most recent ones. The real Pinkie would know about their past, their personality, and the friends they may have had once upon a time. Even if they denied it. Even if they were on opposite ends of a battle.
"Gene's the God Hand." that Pinkie stated.
"Which arm?" Elvis asked spontaneously.
"Right."
"That right there is the real one." Elvis said, "Can you untie me now?"
ZAP, STRETCH, POOF!
Twilight gave a heavy sigh of relief. Only one Pinkie remained in the room, and she was slumped on the ground, exhausted. Twilight, and the rest of the ponies in the hall walked over to her. "Are you ok, Pinkie?"
"Yeah," she answered, "That was way too close. And a teensy bit scary. I was afraid that I was a fake! That none of my answers were right!"
"Wait," Twilight stated, "Pinkie, how many of the questions did you answer?"
"All of them."
"Pinkie!" The other five mares gasped in unison, before giving the party pony a supporting hug. The tension of the room finally fizzled out to nothing as things began to finally return to normal.
"'EY! LET ME OUT OF THIS CHAIR, CABRONA!"
Well, almost normal, Twilight thought.
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
Elvis sat upon a rolling hill overlooking the town, as dusk began to set against the countryside, painting a cascade of yellows, oranges, and violets against the sky. The populace got back into the swing of a normal day, repairs were made, and plans were reapplied. He fished his pockets and pulled another cigar out, lighting it with gusto. With a slow drag, he inhaled the smooth smoke and silky night air, breathing out with a sigh.
Pinkie approached the relaxing giant slowly. To her credit, after her misadventure with so many clones, she decided to take it easy the rest of the day as well. Not before offering to fix the catastrophes she technically caused, but it was agreed upon that she could postpone that for tomorrow. She sat beside Elvis, upwind from the burning cigar, to avoid the secondhand smoke.
Elvis grunted after he noticed her presence, but Pinkie couldn't help but smile up at him. "Thank you," she said gently.
"Hmm? For what?" the demon asked, incredulous.
"For helping me. I probably wouldn't be here without your help. Either that, or I would have been forced to do something silly, like watching paint dry."
"I didn't have a choice."
"You did." She reassured, beaming, "If you didn't like me, you wouldn't have talked to me then, exposing the clones. You also were the one to pick me over the other me..."
"A lucky guess..."
"And now you are calling it lucky!" she said with a bright and appreciative tone. Elvis groaned at his poor choice of words that excited the far too friendly mare.
"Look, Rosa, do me a favor and leave me alone? I need time to myself. I've had more than enough of you for a day"
Silence lingered for a little while, before Pinkie answered in an even, chipper tone, "Okie doki, Loki..."
Pinkie slowly got up and made her way back to town as the sun continued to set against the horizon. Elvis took another drag of his cigar, letting loose another small grey cloud into the air, contrasting the beautiful sky. As she continued to leave, she looked back to the scene of the relaxing fiend. I'll get you out of your shell, she thought, I'll get you to like it around here, like you want to deep down. I know we can be friends one day.
With that, she headed home, silently wishing Elvis a goodnight..