Elvis' eyes fluttered open. The overwhelming stench of smoke and sugar filled his nose. If this was his first night, it might have been a little less bearable, but it's been a week since he was given this new place to stay. During that time, he hung out with Pinkie a little more, explored the little town in further detail, and even got to sample a few delicacies at the market. Considering how things cost this world's currency however, he was since employed by the Cakes, as per Pinkie's request. It wasn't for much, financially or labor wise, but every now and then he was called to handle heavy lifting of ingredients. Due to his size and natural strength, it was hardly a problem for him. Not that he had some complaints. I never should have to pay for food, he thought bitterly, I knew those free cupcakes the first day were too good to be true. Those cabrons hook you on the stuff and BAM, now you have to pay for a new addiction.
Groggily, he reached for his still lit cigar sitting on a makeshift ashtray, and brought it to his mouth. After burning his mouth by sucking the wrong end, he took a relaxing drag, and chomped on its tail end to keep it between his lips. A quick stretch and scratch later, he walked up to the cellars exit, and entered the still disturbingly bright town. The sun was shining, birds were singing, and it was all so disgustingly happy. Still, he could be pissed about more than some over saturated color and overly cheerful atmosphere. At the very least he darkened a few doors, bringing some balance to the overwhelming peace.
He marched around the side of the gingerbread looking building, which he DID try to take a bite out of the first time he woke up the first morning he was there, and opened the front door. Mr. and Mrs. Cake heard the bell, but their smiles somewhat fell when they saw Elvis' large frame occupying the space.
"Eh, Señor and Señora Cake? Do you need me today?" He asked.
"N-no, Elvis dear. If we do, we'll send Pinkie to find you." Mrs. Cake squeaked nervously.
"Though, sh-she might be hanging out with her friends for the day. P-perhaps you could just take the day off too?" Mr. Cake added.
Elvis huffed, perhaps a little more indignant than he intended, and gently closed the door behind him. He walked off, hands in his pockets, munching on his cigar, thinking about what he could do. Normally for the past while, he could just do a bit of work, get paid, get a golden delicious from that farm "caballo", and be on his way. A day off meant no job, meaning no pay, meaning no treat. As one track minded as it was, it was all he had in this world to keep him from snapping. Maybe I should go find Rosa. He never liked referring to the party pony as Pinkie, offering to stick with the "nickname" he gave her a while ago.
"Maybe she has something I can snack on..." He thought aloud.
Walking down the pathways in around the inner sections of the town, he gazed around his surroundings. Two story houses and businesses lined the towns path. The houses had white walls that were lined with a timber-frame, with distinct yellow thatched roofs and overhanging upper floors. Details, such as the edgings and the doors, were done in pink. While the windows seemed to be tinted in a light purple. Each home was decorated with trees, bushes, flowers, and a few of them even had a bit of ivy climbing on the walls. Businesses has similar features, but had more ground floor full height windows displaying products from luxury objects to necessities. Though he has since been used to the sight, he still prefers dusty mountain crags or cityscapes with as little vegetation as possible.
In the corner of his eye, he noticed a pink form bouncing through the town pathway, punctuating each bounce with the word "fun". While that was odd in its own right, he knew that the term odd was basally synonymous with his pink acquaintance.
"Ey, Rosa!" He addressed, "I need to ask you some-" he was cut off by something else catching the corner of his eye, and subsequently passing him. Bouncing passed him, to be more precise. Another Pinkie. "Que mierda?"
"FUN!" Elvis whipped around, and noticed yet another pinkie staring directly at him. Worse, there were three more bouncing by in different directions. Now, Elvis considered himself a sensible demon. One that had his head screwed on right, and knew the difference between reality and total insanity. What he was witnessing registered in his mind only as panic. He started running. He didn't know or care where, just AWAY from THEM! One Rosa cabrona is bad ENOUGH! Alas, everywhere he turned, there was another Pinkie. Hopping, skipping, singing, shouting, invading homes, scaring ponies, and generally engaging in harmless activities which spiraled out of control. Things looked bleak in this overly colorful world. Actually, things looked PINK, to be fair, but no less terrifying.
Elvis turned a tight corner and kept running, looking for a place with as few Pinkies as he could. Soon, he happened to a crowd gathering around the house tree, with Twilight and the baby dragon of her's standing at its open door. She seemed to be trying to calm the obviously disturbed and irritated mob. Good luck, puta.
"Ok everypony," Twilight commanded as the group around her demanded explanations and solutions, "Please. CALM DOWN!"
"CALM DOWN?!" screeched an alabaster white unicorn with the lovely purple elegant mane in offense. "I just had a Pinkie HURRICANE raging through my shop!"
"And they trashed our critter picnic!" Fluttershy spoke softly, but not without a hint of venom.
The crowd got back into an uproar, dagger stares directed towards the poor purple mare, with demand for something to be fixed. She backed up slightly from the overwhelming hostility, but no less tried to appease the crowd.
"Please everypony! Hang on while I try to figure something out!" And with that, the door to Golden Oaks Library opened up behind her, granting her and Spike an exit. "Come on, Spike." And with that, she turned to her library and the two ran inside, which was surely a relief.
With no one to complain to, the angry mob began to talk among themselves. This was hardly the first strange happening in Ponyville, but they WERE starting to get sick of the shenanigans. The obviously degenerating and desperate group of ponies began to throw wild accusations. Such things ranged from "It has to be Twilight's fault! The town was so peaceful before she showed up!", right to, "Maybe Discord came back!". That comment got everyone to gasp in horror, but they reasoned that things would be a lot worse if that chaotic creature returned. They then noticed Elvis, whom was trying to tip toe his way past the group.
"It's HIS FAULT!" one of the stallions mixed in the group said, pointing to Elvis. The Mighty Mouth himself twitched, pausing for a moment, and slowly turned to the mob. He didn't even have a chance to say a word in defense, as another voice in the crowd shouted, "GET HIM!". With that, they rushed the cigar chewing demon, verbally chewing him out for a crime he didn't commit. Something clicked inside Elvis' mind. Maybe it was the overwhelming negativity on contrast to the brightly colored surroundings, or the monotony of the last couple days. Perhaps it was the fact that he hasn't fought with anything in so long, or the awkward stares he got from other ponies. Whatever the reason, he lost patience. He turned to them directly, face in a heavy set scowl, and stood his ground.
It took all of five seconds for the crowd to realize that antagonizing the large unknown creature maybe wasn't such a good idea. Before they could apologize, Elvis began his own shouting.
"ALL YOU CABALLOS ARE LOCO!" Elvis barked back, "WHAT DO I GET FROM THIS MANY ROSA PUTAS, EH?! ACCUSE ME OF THIS APURO? THEN YOU'LL TASTE MY WRATH!" He stomped on the ground, which made the crowd flinch as the earth shook slightly. He didn't care if they responded by trampling over him, because he was done dealing with their behavior. Elvis got ready to charge, but was stopped when the door to Twilight's home and library opened.
"Does anypony-" she cut herself off mid question, replacing it with a more urgent, "WHAT'S GOING ON OUT HERE?!"
Everyone, including Elvis, gazed towards the irked Twilight, whom assumed exactly what she saw. The very beginning of a colossal throw down between the extra-equestrian being and a quarter of the populous. Elvis spoke up, "They started it!"
"I DON'T CARE WHO STARTED IT!" Twilight barked. Everyone backed off from the large creature. With the situation suddenly defused, Twilight began addressing the crowd. "You all should be ashamed. I know we have a crisis in our hands, but we can't antagonize others like that! We'll get nothing done with this attitude." Everyone murmured in agreement, sheepish to their actions. "Now," Twilight said, clearing her throat, "Does anypony here know how we can tell the real Pinkie Pie from the rest of them?"
The now placid mob murmured among themselves in confusion. No one could tell the difference between the fakes and the real one, with the exception that they, in their numbers, were infinitely more annoying. But, again, that was because of their numbers.
Speculations would have to wait, however, as one of the pink menaces popped out of the crowd. "Twilight!" She said with excitement and relief, "I need to talk to you! I need your help!"
"Excuse me, whoever you are," Twilight started, with another Pinkie racing beside her, mimicking her movements as she spoke, "I'm not talking to any of you Pinkies unless you're the REAL Pinkie." She punctuated with her hoof striking the ground, with the clone mimicked in sync.
"But! But I AM the real Pinkie!" the first one in the crowd argued.
"No you're not! I'm the real Pinkie!" challenged another that just showed up.
"No I'M the real Pinkie!" another said near Twilight.
"No I'M the real Pinkie!" said another.
More and more of them cropped up in the area, all claiming to be the real one, all of them shouting the word FUN repetitively. Elvis couldn't handle this, and bolted from the strange scene. The Pinkies took notice.
"HEY! WAIT! COME BACK AND HAVE FUN WITH US!"
If this were a poorly constructed story, Elvis was sure he'd been shouting a long winded NO at the top of his lungs. However, he knew he needed to save his breath for his fleeing, and it was better that he didn't attract more attention than he had.
Such a choice was rewarded as he quickly found the cellar door he emerged from earlier in the day behind Sugarcube Corner. As a bonus, it was opened! Forgetting to shut the door really payed off. He quickly looked behind him, and noticed a small group of Pinkies following. "VETE!" he shouted as he dove through the cellar opening, crash landed inside, hastily shut the door and barricaded himself in. Slumping to the ground of the poorly lit room, he breathed in his cigar, calming himself, and exhaled the fumes, sighing in relief.
-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-v-o-
A couple hours passed as Elvis sat in the darkness. He munched on an old frozen experimental cake he found hidden away in the cold storage pantry. It was a bit too sweet, and seemed to have a guacamole after taste. Never the less, it satisfied his hunger, if not his taste buds.
During the time he spent down there, he heard the Cakes scream and lock their front doors, random passers-by flee in audible terror, and many more crazy pink mares bounce around the area.
Elvis scratched the back of his head and considered his options. I could make a break for it, he thought, and head into the forest. But if they see me, I'm doomed. Though, even if I do escape, I'll be too far away from anyone capable of sending me back. He clutched his head and shook in dejection. "Aye aye aye, what a mess."
Their was a small knock on the cellar door. Elvis froze, and kept quiet. The knocking continued. Every sense in the demon's body told him not to trust it. As if in agreement, he took another drag of his Cigar and finished it off, much to Elvis' dismay. "Oh no way!" he bitterly exclaimed before slamming his hand over his mouth, eyes wide. Me and my boca grande.
It was too late in realizing his mistake, as the knocking ceased and a voice piped up. "Oh good! You ARE there, Elvis. It's me, Twilight."
While he was glad that it wasn't a mob of residents, or a mob of pink menaces, he still didn't entirely appreciate the intruder. "GO AWAY!"
"I need your help!" she protested.
"I'm in no mood to help anyone puta, unless you have a VERY good reason!"
"I have an idea on how to solve this mess, but you're a key factor. If you'd just come outside and follow-"
"Forget it!" Elvis barked, standing up in the darkness, being careful not to slam his head against the cellar ceiling.
"If you don't, I won't be able to send you back home."
Elvis stood in the darkness, wishing he had a smoke to crush with his teeth at this moment, "What are you saying, cabrona?"
"With all these Pinkies running around, causing mischief, I won't be able to get even a moment to continue my research. Not just because of the clones themselves, but from the townsponies that will likely to continue hounding me for a solution."
To a normal, level headed individual, that statement would be perfectly and reasonably understandable. However, Elvis didn't fit the context of normal here. The Deva member was on pins and needles now. He was never used to being backed into a corner with something he wanted to be dangling over his head, with a logical reasoning no less. The fact that it was in this situation didn't make the sensation any better. Sweat began to form upon his brow as he continued to ponder his options. Until suddenly...
"NO!" He barked once again, "I refuse to help YOU, or any one of you loco caballos! Hell, you MUST be crazy if you think that your threats will persuade me! There is absolutely NO way that you can make me-"