//------------------------------// // Hitting That Snag // Story: Rarity's Epic Yarn // by Philosophical Tree //------------------------------// “Pfft. Designing dresses again, I see?” Rarity huffed in annoyance, flicking her perfectly styled mane just a tad to the side in order to glare at her unwanted visitor. Across the room from her, hovering just above one of the dressmaker’s many ponniquins, was the only draconequus left in existence. Discord, Spirit of Chaos, shot her one of his many winning smiles. “Well, of course I am,” Rarity replied, her voice silky and smooth despite her burning rage. “I am a fashion designer, after all. What am I supposed to do apart from my job?” She got a shrug in response. “I dunno, take up knitting or something else as boooring as you are?” Discord watched Rarity, who paused in her stitching. He knew he was touching nerves, but Rarity wasn’t really biting. Although reformed, he still loved to poke fun at the small ponies every now and then, and Rarity was a particularly special target. Ever since the “Tom” incident, he secretly held a desire to make her snap again. Tormenting her was the second best thing. “If I’m really so boring, Discord dear, why don’t you go play with Pinkie Pie? I’m sure the two of you would have absolute bundles of fun.” Rarity didn’t even pay him a glance as she spat her retort back. Discord was beginning to grow irritated, mostly because she wouldn’t take the bait. Throughout the day, he had been pestering her in every way imaginable. His mind drifted back to thoughts of earlier. __________ “I take it this was your doing?” Discord held his talon over his mouth, trying hard not to laugh at the now pitch black pony standing in front of him. Rarity had finished with her morning shower only to find that somepony had changed the water into liquid licorice. Unable to contain himself, Discord let loose a roaring laugh, falling from his perch on a chandelier and coming to rest on Rarity’s favorite sofa. The unicorn growled and took a anger-fueled step forward. “I have half a mind to let Princess Celestia know about this!” She cried. Immediately ceasing in his laughter, Discord rose to look at her, a hurt expression on his face. “Oh, the humanity! Wait...” Discord paused, tapping a claw against his chin. “No, no, that’s not it. Whatever, where was I? Oh, right! How dare you accuse me of such a thing? I am reformed now, and, in my new, reformed mind, would not dare to do something so heinous, albeit delicious. Besides, all you have to do is go take another shower. It’ll wash right off.” Rarity rolled her eyes and stormed off, leaving a chuckling draconequus on her sofa. ~~~ “Now, my pets, we prepare for global conques-” “DISCORD!” Discord paused in his speech, turning to face Rarity. Clad in an officer’s uniform of his own design, he stood in front of his small army of animated ponniquinns, each wearing something that made Rarity want to pass out from shock. Each outfit was a different set of armor from Equestrian past, all painted to look like flowers. Instead of traumatizing herself, the unicorn took to glaring at the cause of her problems. “Really!? Was this necessary!?” she screamed at him, the force of her voice beginning to rival that of Princess Luna. Discord straightened his hat and smiled. “Of course it was necessary, my dear,” he droned in response. “How else am I to spread the Gospel of Discord to the masses?” Rarity, lighting up her horn, picked the now surprised Discord up with her magic and flung him out with a scream. “If I ever see you mutilating my dresses again, Discord, not even Celestia will be able to save you!” The door slammed in front of Discord, leaving him bamboozled. “Well... that was unexpected. Ah well, I’m feeling a bit peckish. Time to go bother somepony else. Preferably somepony with lots of clam chowder.” ~~~ “CLAM CHOWDER FOR EVERYONE!” Rarity’s left eye twitched as she looked over her now chowder-drenched dresses. Discord, realizing he may have just crossed a very serious line, teleported about two miles outside of Ponyville. He was still able to hear her scream ring out across the hills. “GET BACK HERE, YOU PATHETIC, SPINELESS RUFFIAN!” __________ Looking back, a sudden thought occurred to him. Maybe it wasn’t Rarity herself that was why he loved to pick on her. As he thought about what he knew, Rarity’s lifestyle itself seemed to be what irked him the most about her. The fact that everything had to be perfect, on time, and - ‘oh, gag’ - orderly was what made her a special target. Every other pony he knew, especially Pinkie Pie, had a little bit of tenacity for the unexpected and chaotic. Rarity, on the other claw, tried as hard as she could to prevent that. Discord slapped himself. ‘Of course. Her life is so boring and plain and dull, obviously I’m just taking up the mantle and burden of making her life that much more fun. But it seems that she’s trying hard to fight back...’ He pondered for a moment, wondering how he might outsmart the fashionista. A smile crept onto his face as he remembered something from not so long ago. From the time he was trapped in stone and had nothing better to do than play video games in his subconscious. “Oh Rarity.” He called in a sing-song voice. Sighing, she turned to face him. “Yes, what is it now?” Rarity barely got the words out before she registered that Discord was casting a spell. Before she could even take a single step out of the way, she vanished in a puff of oddly cloth-like smoke. Discord grinned. “Say ‘hi’ to old Fluff for me, will you?” __________ Pants. That’s what it felt like she was laying on. Pants. Not very fashionable ones either, probably a nasty colored denim. But what confused Rarity the most is why on Equestria did it feel like she was laying on pants. Groaning and blinking her eyes open, Rarity rolled to her hooves and looked around, recovering much quicker than she had anticipated. She hadn’t remembered being knocked out after the spell had been cast, but then again, she didn’t recognize the world around her either. Cloth as far as she could see. The ground was cloth. The sky was cloth. The trees, the clouds, the grass, the little blue creature that was staring at her in wonder; Everything was made of cloth. It wasn’t the same kinds of cloth, either. Rarity, with her eye for cloth and fabrics, was able to make out denim, felt, silk, wool, and other such fabrics laced throughout the world around her. Mystified, she let out a low whistle. It took her a moment to remember that she was being stared at. “Wow. Never seen anything like you before.” The small, blue yarn creature approached her. Rarity watched it apprehensively, trying not to squee from sheer delight. The creature was perfectly round, with a pair of little arms and little orange feet. On the top of the body was perched a small, felt crown. And, although completely hollow, his face was somehow floating right near the middle of his body. As it was, he was currently wearing a slight frown. Unable to hold back any longer, she reached out with her magic, attempting to lift it up. “Oh, aren’t you the most darling little thing!” She cooed, ready to snuggle the small creature when she realized something was wrong. Her magic wasn’t working. The blue creature was eyeing her warily. “I get that every now and then. So... what are you? Who are you, lady?” Rarity didn’t answer, reaching up to her horn to feel if it had been damaged. Although she didn’t feel any damage, she did feel something very strange. Under her hoof, her horn felt like yarn. Even her mane, which was just barely grazing her hoof, didn’t feel like hair. It felt like, well, felt. A look of horror passed over her face. She couldn’t believe it. “When I get my hooves on that draconequus, I am going to tear him limb from limb.” She muttered. Although she felt perfectly fine, somehow the magic of Discord’s spell had turned her into the same consistency of the blue yarn creature. She was made of yarn. Not only that, but her horn no longer channeled her magic. Feelings of rage began to well up in her, but also a sense of fear. She had no idea how to get back to Equestria, and without her magic the task was going to be that much harder. “Umm, ma’am? Are you alright?” The blue creature asked concernedly. Rarity turned slowly to face him, a look of absolute, bone chilling fury on her face. “Do not call me ma’am! I am not old!” The blue creature recoiled, suddenly very nervous of the new, stark white arrival. “Alright! Lady, what’s wrong?” Rarity calmed herself slowly, trying to compose herself. A lady never conducts herself thusly, and so, after a moment, she sighed. “First off, let me apologize. I was very rude just now, and I am deeply sorry that I acted like that.” Rarity closed her eyes, lowering her head just a little bit. “As for what’s wrong... it’s a bit difficult to explain. Do you have somewhere we could talk over a cup of tea? If you have tea in this world, that is.” The creature nodded. “Sure, lady, if you’ll follow me.” Rarity noted that the voice was masculine, and although it tried to sound tough and commanding, it was actually very cute. The blue creature turned on his heel and led Rarity down a path. Along the way, she took note of how everything seemed to hold together in the world. She could see stitching - and well done stitching at that - everywhere, but also the occasional button, zipper, and even a few tabs. She was very impressed at the care and dedication that had gone into the world. “So, what’s you’re name? Mines Fluff. I’m the prince hereabouts.” Fluff said, turning to give her a quick smile. Rarity, shaken from her thoughts, shot one back as well. “I’m Rarity, and I am most pleased to make the acquaintance of a prince,” she said, her demeanor and voice much calmer and collected. “Do tell me something, though. Where exactly am I?” Fluff nodded knowingly. “I shoulda guessed you were an outsider. Never seen anything like you in all of Patch Star.” A name, that was all Rarity needed to know. She figured that Discord had teleported her somewhere. She should have guessed that it would breach the dimensional barrier in order to get somewhere like this, something Discord was well adapt at. “Patch Star? How charming. So you’re the prince?” Fluff nodded, continuing in his methodical pace. A building was rising on the horizon ahead of the pair, but it was still too far away for Rarity to make out. Fluff pointed at it. “Yup, and there’s my castle. We’ll be there shortly.” The pair continued on in silence, Rarity watching as the castle grew nearer and nearer. The details began to come into focus, and Rarity found herself even more impressed with the little world. The castle itself was made of cloth and string, and could very well have been made by her at some other point in time. Even more amusing to her was the small town located just past it. Once they arrived at the castle, Fluff led Rarity inside to the great hall. Rarity’s sense of wonder grew as she was led down the castle halls. Everything, even the stained glass windows, was cloth, felt, yarn, and everything else Rarity had seen on the way there. It astounded her that the world not only held itself together in that state, but that creatures could live in it as well. Fluff finally led her into the hall, which was lit by large chandeliers decked with flames of string, and sat her down at a long table. “I’ll be right back,” he said, ducking out of the room. Rarity hummed to herself, glancing around the room and trying to take everything in. True to his word, Fluff returned a few moments later with a small tray laden with tea. Setting a glass down in front of the unicorn, he sat in a chair to her left, holding his own cup. “Well, go on. I always have a kettle on, so it should be fresh.” Rarity didn’t move, instead opting to just stare at the cup. “I don’t know if I can lift it. My magic isn’t working, you see.” Fluff shook his head, smiling. “Try and lift it with one of your hooves. I think you’ll find the world works a little differently here.” Rarity reached out with her hoof, gently touching the teacup. Almost instantly she felt a change. The teacup seemed to melt into her hoof, becoming one with her body. Lifting her hoof up, she found that the cup moved with it. Smiling, she took a sip of the tea - brown string in the cup - pleased with the taste. “I must say, this tea is exquisite. Might I ask for the recipe?” Fluff shook his head, quickly taking a sip of his own. “No can do. Family secret. Now...” He set his teacup down on the table, fixing Rarity in a meaningful look. “My guess is you probably want to get back home, don’t you?” Rarity paused, before nodding slowly. “In a way, yes. I would love to spend some time here, as this world... I can’t really describe my feelings right now, but it is quite breathtaking. But I do have to get back. I have orders to fill and a sister coming to visit.” Fluff nodded, leaning back in his seat. “That’s fine. I’ve got a portal near the top of the castle, but we can access that from the outside. I don’t see a problem sending you back as soon as possible, but if you want to stay, we should go talk to Dom Woole. He’d be able to set up a place for you to stay while you’re here.” Rarity finished the rest of her tea, smiling as she set the cup down. “I appreciate your generosity. Lead on, then.” __________ “Ah, Prince Fluff. Might I ask the name of your newest companion?” Rarity watched the strange, mustachioed ball of yarn bounce as it spoke to the prince. Dom Woole, in Rarity’s eyes, wasn’t at all like Prince Fluff. Prince Fluff was adorable. Dom Woole... to Rarity, Dom Woole was almost creepy. His moustache, nose, and odd lack of any limbs made Rarity very nervous. She didn’t have time to express her concerns, as Fluff and Woole were deep in conversation. “This is Rarity. I was wondering if you could set up a new apartment for her. She’s planning on staying for a little while.” Dom bounced up joyously, clapping the ends of his moustache together. “Oh, splendid. I shall get on Lady Rarity’s apartment right away. Of course, I will need help with the costs. Thirty-thousand beads should be sufficient.” Fluff nodded. “Done and done. See that it gets completed ASAP.” As Rarity watched, Dom Woole moved towards the apartment building, a curtain draping over the area. Within seconds, the curtain drew back. Rarity’s mouth fell open. What once had been a three story building now had an additional story on the top, a single door opening to the room inside. Rarity had never seen speed like that before. “Never seen speed like that before, have you?” Rarity shook her head. Fluff strode towards Dom Woole and gave his moustache a high five. “Come on! I’ll take you up.” Rarity followed Fluff up the apartment building, noting the faces above the other doors. ‘Those must be the other tenants.’  Arriving on the fourth floor, the pair strode into the newly created room. Rarity was shocked to find it barren of all forms of furniture, decor and life. The room looked new, but seemed to be in a state of stasis. Fluff produced a small box from somewhere and laid it down at Rarity’s hooves. “Inside the box you’ll find all sorts of good stuff to furnish your apartment with. I’ll leave you to decorate. Don’t take too long, I want to show you the portal.” __________ About three and a half hours later, Rarity emerged from Apt. 401, a smile on her face. She found Fluff leaning against the wall, snoring gently. The prince woke with a start at her gentle nudging. “Wazzat? I never ate that pancake... oh, you’re done?” Rarity nodded, so Fluff rose to his feet, stretching as far as his little limbs would allow. “Welp, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show you just how you’re getting back home.” Fluff led her back down to the ground floor of the apartment building, then back over to Patch Castle. To Rarity’s astonishment, instead of entering the castle, Fluff chose to jump up the side of the building, landing on the stitching that held the castle together. Turning, he waved her up. “Come on.” Rarity followed, leaping up stitch by stitch. Looking above, she saw Fluff disappear as he landed on a certain balcony. A moment later, she heard a cry of anger. Leaping the rest of the way as quick as she could, she came to rest on the balcony. Fluff was there, staring at an empty alcove. His entire body was shaking. “Someone stole it. The magic sock. They stole it.” He turned to face her. “I can’t get you home. We’re gonna have to search all of Patch Star in order to find it.” Rarity, who was initially worried at the thought of being stuck in this new, cloth filled world, gently laid a hoof on Fluff and gave him a gentle smile. “I’ve been through a great deal worse than you might have guessed. A simple glob-trotting adventure is exactly what I wanted, although under different circumstances. So come on now, let’s get going. That sock won’t find itself.” Fluff returned Rarity’s smile, pleased that the unicorn was so understanding. “Well then, adventure awaits. Onward to Grass Land!” He cried, trying to look very dramatic. Rarity couldn’t contain her giggles, and Fluff sighed. “It’s kind of hard to be serious about a place named Grass Land. Come on.” __________ Back in Equestria, Discord was laying on Rarity’s couch, staring at the wall as he watched a new coat of puce paint dry. Little did he know he wasn’t the only being doing some watching at that moment. “Nyah ha ha! Bad move, Dissy. Now you’ve brought me back, despite what happened at the hands of that tiny pink psychopath. Now that I’m here, time for a little fun. Let’s see what kind of plan I can stitch together.”