Perfect the Way You Are
by Mystic
Today is Friday. That means today is a school day. I like school, so that’s a good thing for me. I get to see all of the other fillies and colts at school. We get to learn stuff and colour pictures and talk together. I like that.
It’s also sunny outside today. I like that too. The sun is very big and it’s really warm - just like my bed back home. I think the sun is snuggly, snuggly warm and comfortable. Like the sun, my bed is safe and warm and comfortable. Mommy says I shouldn’t spend so much time in bed, or in the house, or be around her too much. I wonder why she doesn’t say that when I’m out in the sun. They’re both warm and comfortable.
Today I am flying to school. I learned how to fly only about a week ago. It was really hard work, but after practicing lots and lots, I did it! It was really exciting for me. I like to fly. I like how the wind feels when I go through it. It feels soft but hard at the same time.
Below me is the ground. I can see all of the buildings and the trees. They look so small from up here. Like the little toys I have back in my room. I can see ponies look up at me as I go past. Some don’t spend too long. Others look like they’re frowning. I think it might be the sun. The sun is very bright.
The ponies all look very small. I wonder how high I am. I must be pretty high if they look so small. I like to fly. It’s a good feeling. I can go anywhere. I can go as high or as low as I like. I was told not to fly through the town too much. I can still fly above it. I just have to watch out for the tall buildings. Mommy says she can’t afford to buy new repairs.
But that’s ok, because that means I can do loops and circles and zigzags when I fly. That stuff is the most fun. My stomach feels a little wobbly whenever I go upside down and that makes me giggle. I’m not worried though, because I tightened my bags extra tight so they won’t fall off!
I can fly now so maybe I can start to help ponies clear the weather or something! Since they can fly so far and so fast, they all get to clear the clouds or make it rain. I’ve always wanted to do that. I’d like to help to make it sunny or rainy. Rain clouds are my favourite. They’re big and black and some ponies think they’re scary, but not me. I think they’re cool. They flash really brightly and make loud noises like the fireworks I saw one year for the Summer Sun Celebration. Maybe my cutie mark will be a rain cloud! Or two rain clouds!
A figure makes me look around all of a sudden. A colt is flying near me. I wobble a bit in the air as I fly because he surprised me and I have to concentrate really hard when I am flying. He is bright blue and he has a cutie mark, but I can’t see it. My vision isn’t very good.
He smiles at me and gives me a small wave. I quickly give him the biggest smile I have and a doubly big wave back. It makes me wobble and swerve a bit in the air, but that’s ok. He laughs and my cheeks go warm.
But then he smiles again. His smile is really warm like the sun. I like that smile. It’s kind and warm. It makes me feel comfortable. Like the sun! He must be the sun!
Before I can ask him the colt waves again and flies away. I am a little sad. I didn’t even ask him what his name was or if he wanted to be my friend. I always ask new ponies my age if they want to be my friend. Most don’t say much, but that’s ok.
I am near school now, so I fly low to the ground. I have to be careful to avoid any trees. I don’t want to get sticks and leaves in my mane before lessons!
I land on the ground with a soft thump. I stumble a bit as I do, but I don’t fall over. I am getting better every day with my flying! That makes me smile. I like to smile. Mommy says that I smile too much and that my smile looks silly, but that’s ok. She’s my mommy and she can say that stuff. I still like to smile.
I walk up to the school with my bestest smile. It’s a big building with lots of stories. There are lots of windows and bricks in the school. There are also lots of classrooms. I haven’t been to most of them. The teachers tell me I shouldn’t wander away. They said they might need me for something really important. I am always ready even though that hasn’t happened yet.
There are lots of ponies around me. Colts and fillies all walking around, talking and playing. Some of them look at me but most don’t. They run around or bounce balls or skip ropes. I am not very good at any of those games, so I don’t mind not playing. I fell over a lot the last time I tried. I still had lots of fun, though!
A loud bell rings out across the schoolyard. That means it’s time for lessons! All of the other ponies around me race to the big front doors. Miss. Sunshine is my teacher. She is standing in the doorway and smiling at everypony. I really like Miss. Sunshine. She is bright yellow with a pretty orange mane. I don’t see any other teachers standing in the doorway every morning like she does. That must mean she likes us especially. She’s nice to me, too. Not like my old teacher last year, Ms. Petunia. She wasn’t very nice to me.
I run really fast to the door. Some steps lead from the ground to the school and I flutter my wings quickly to make sure I don’t trip on them. All of the other ponies are behind me. They’re not as quick to get into school as me.
I reach the top of the stairs. “Good morning, Derpy!” Miss. Sunshine calls out.
“Morning, Miss. Sunshine!” I say happily.
“How are you?” she asks.
“I am very good,” I state. My smile is really big.
Miss. Sunshine looks at me with a nice look on her face. She is always very kind. “Well, why don’t you go inside, Derpy? We are doing some colouring today!”
“Yay!” I say. I love colouring!
I quickly run inside. My classroom is in the corridor down the end, then right, then the second corridor on the right and then it’s the last classroom on the right. I learned that as soon as I could so I wouldn’t get lost.
I open the classroom door and walk inside. I like it here. There are our paintings and drawings and writing all over the walls. I can see the playground out of the big window. The window means it’s not very dark in here, even with all of the lights turned off. The sunlight shines through and that means I can see everything clearly. Some days if it’s not sunny outside I have to try and find the light switch and then put the chairs that I knock over back up before any of the other ponies get here.
I walk slowly over to my desk. I have a desk right in the front row. It’s right in front of the Miss. Sunshine’s desk. I have put lots of stickers and drawings on my desk, lots of pictures of clouds and rain clouds and suns. It looks very pretty. Not many of the other ponies have pictures on their desks, but that’s ok. I like my desk to be pretty. That makes me smile.
The chair is low to the ground, so sitting on it is easy. There is no back on it like the chairs at home. I fell backwards one time. I have to be careful not to lean back too far.
I can hear the other ponies in my class. Their voices are loud in the hallway outside, and I can hear their hoofsteps. I hear the same sounds over and over again, but they come from two different places at once. I keep on forgetting to ask Miss. Sunshine why that is. How can the same sound come from two places at once? That’s just silly!
The door to the classroom swings open and all of the other ponies come into the room. They are all talking loudly with each other. A pony called Ace got his cutie mark today. It is a big black pointy thing. Kind of like a love heart. I don’t know what it means, but that’s ok, because I am happy for him. I give him my bestest and biggest smile when he comes in. He looks at me and then looks away, talking to another pegasus filly. That’s ok, though, because I still got to smile! Hopefully he liked it.
A small group of colts follows Ace into the classroom. It’s a little harder to smile now. I still try to keep the smile on my face. They laugh loudly and push each other around as they walk in. I don’t know why they do that. They seem to like it, so I guess it must be fun. The biggest one is called Bludger and he looks at me and then laughs again. I wonder what is so funny. Do I have something in my mane?! I try to run a hoof through my mane, but that just makes him laugh harder. His friends are laughing now, too. I feel my cheeks get warm now. I really wish I knew what the joke was. I like to smile and laugh!
Miss. Sunshine walks into the classroom now. Everypony goes really quiet, except for me because I am already really quiet. I know that Miss. Sunshine needs us to be quiet in the morning, so I do it early to be a super big help! I think she likes it. She smiles at everypony when she walks in, so I think that means she likes it.
“Good morning everypony!” she calls out when she reaches her desk.
“Good morning, Miss. Sunshine!” I call back at her extra loudly. Everypony else mumbles to themselves. I don't think Miss. Sunshine can hear them.
Miss. Sunshine smiles at me and I beam back. She liked it!
“Ok, first of all, well done to Ace for getting his cutie mark last night! That’s very impressive, Ace!”
A few of my classmates give a small clap. I turn around to give Ace another big smile but Ace isn’t looking at me.
“Well then,” Miss. Sunshine says, “I thought first we could do some drawing and colouring to start the day off? Who likes the sound of that?”
All of the ponies were happy at that, but none as happy as me. I think Scales looked at me weirdly when I cheered, but I‘m not sure. He is the pony who sits next to me. He is really quiet but he still hangs out with Bludger and those ponies. He always looks at me weirdly.
Miss. Sunshine gives us our paper and lets us get to work. I really like to draw and colour. I think that today I will draw a big sun with lots of clouds around it. I might even add in some hills with grass on the bottom!
It doesn’t take long before I have the big circle already drawn for the sun. It’s a little wobbly, but that’s ok. I don’t really know if the sun is a smooth line like the other ponies’ suns. I can’t look at the sun to check, either. It hurts too much to look at it, even with my eyesight.
“What are you drawing, Derpy?” says Miss. Sunshine. She looks over my shoulder.
I quickly spit the pencil out of my mouth. “I’m drawing a sun with clouds and hills!”
“You sure do love to draw suns and clouds!” she replies.
“Yup!” I say. “They’re my favourite things to draw!”
“Well that’s good, Derpy. Keep up the good work!”
I smile at her as widely as I can. She smiles back. I like Miss. Sunshine, she’s always nice to me.
In the next lesson we do some math. I don’t really like math because it’s really hard. But I like to learn, so I always try my very best. Even if I don’t get all the right answers, Miss. Sunshine still tells me I’m doing a good job. Sometimes when I put up my hoof, the other ponies in my class look up with their eyes and I look up too but I don’t see anything.
“Ok, so who wants to show me what the answer is?” Miss. Sunshine asks. She nods her head toward a pair of numbers on the big blackboard.
I shoot my hoof up to the roof as fast as I can. No, I go even faster than I can! That’s how fast I am! I know the answer to this one! We had done it last week, I think. I can remember the answer!
Miss. Sunshine smiles at me. “Ok, Derpy. Would you like to come and write the answer for everypony to see?”
I nod my head as quickly as I can before getting up to run to the board. As I get out of my chair, I feel my hooves go all wonky beneath me. I stumble, trying to throw my wings out to get my balance. It doesn’t work, and so I fall sideways, straight into Scales’ desk, knocking him and the table to the ground.
“Sorry!” I yell from the ground. My side hurts a little, but that’s ok. I am used to bits of me hurting now. I still stumble a bit as I try to get up.
“Derpy!” Scales says loudly. His voice is angry. I cringe away from it.
“I’m sorry!” I say as fast and as loud as I can.
“Oh my goodness!” Miss. Sunshine says. “Are you ok, you two?”
I nod my head slowly. I don’t look at Miss. Sunshine in the eyes. Scales doesn’t reply, and he puffs as he gets up. I go to help him put the desk the right way up, but he stops me.
“No. I don’t want you knocking things over and screwing it all up again.”
I stop in my tracks. My stomach feels all nasty now. I try to smile at him. “Ok, then. I am really sorry I knocked over your desk.”
“Whatever.”
“Scales,” Miss. Sunshine says gently, but her eyes aren’t very warm anymore. I hope I didn’t mess things up too bad that she isn’t happy! She turns back to me. “Now, Derpy, would you still like to answer the question?”
I nod my head. I still don’t look at her.
“Well go on then,” she says, her voice all soft and kind again. “What’s the answer?”
I walk up to the board. I try to ignore all of the other ponies looking at me. It’s really hard to smile now, but I keep trying my best. I grab the chalk in my mouth. It tastes really strange, but I keep it in there so I can write the number on the board. It’s a small little number and it sits there all on its lonesome. It’s separated from the other numbers by two lines. I feel a little bit sad for that number.
“That’s right, Derpy!” Miss. Sunshine tells me. Her voice is really happy. I smile a bit bigger now.
“Thank you, Miss. Sunshine!” I say back, looking her in the eyes.
“Well done, Derpy, you did a good job!”
I ruffle my wings happily. I don’t always get a right answer in class. It makes my smile even bigger.
I trot back over to my seat. All of the ponies in my class are whispering together. They look at me as I walk and then they start whispering again. I wonder what they are whispering about…
As I sit down, Scales gives me a bad look. My smile fades just a little bit. I open my mouth to say sorry, but he looks away and makes a noise under his breath. I close my mouth.
I didn’t mean to…
It’s soon lunch time. I like lunch time. I always get really hungry during the day, so lunch lets me go outside and eat so I don’t feel hungry anymore.
I follow all of the other ponies out of the classroom when Miss. Sunshine lets us out. They are all running and jumping. They want to get outside. I hold a brown bag in my mouth, so do some of the other ponies. They’re all filled with food and tasty things.
I smile at that. Maybe I have something really yummy for lunch! Maybe a muffin! My wings flutter a bit at the thought. Mommy doesn’t normally get me muffins. I love it so much when she does. They are probably my favourite food, them or cookies. I like cookies too. Especially the ones with the bits of chocolate in them!
The sun is very bright outside. All of the other ponies run over to the court or to the grass where they all start to play games. It’s warm outside, but not too warm. I go over to the swings. There isn’t anypony on the swings today. There normally is, but today I have the whole swings to myself.
I sit down on one of the swings. The chains make lots of squeaky noises. I dig my face into the brown paper bag I am carrying and I feel for any food. Inside there is a slice of bread. I look deeper inside. There is only a piece of bread.
I pull out the piece of bread and take a small nibble. It doesn’t taste very good, but that’s ok. It’s all dry and icky, but it will still make my tummy less rumbly, so that’s a good thing.
I look up at all of the other ponies. They are all playing like they were this morning. They are all smiling, all laughing. None of them are smiling at me. Why don’t they smile at me?
I think that maybe I should go and play with them, but I don’t. I am a little bit scared to go over and play with the other ponies. I am not very good with the games. One time I got caught in the skipping rope and the other ponies all told me to go away. I got a little sad when they said that. I didn’t mean to get all caught up in the skipping rope. I also don’t go over because I don’t want to interrupt them while they’re having so much fun. Maybe next time.
I wish that the colt I saw this morning was at this school. Maybe he would talk to me. He did smile at me. Would he talk to me and be my friend? I think ponies smile and wave at the ponies they wanted to be their friends. That’s what I do.
I eat my lunch very quickly. My tummy is still a little rumbly, but that’s ok. Maybe later I will have cookies.
I stare at all the other ponies for the rest of lunch. While I watch them I swing on the swing. I use my wings to push myself a little higher and then I wait until the squeaky noises stop. The swings are fun, but they aren't as fun as all the other ponies make them look. Maybe it’s more fun if you have more ponies.
The bell sounds again. That means that lunch is over. I jump up from my seat on the swings and run over to the classroom. I don’t want to be late for Miss. Sunshine. She said we would be doing words and spelling after lunch. I don’t want to miss out!
I am very fast and I reach the door and dash inside. My smile is on my face again. It’s a big smile, but I am not smiling inside anymore.
I stayed behind after class to help Miss. Sunshine clear the board. I also packed away all the loose bits of paper. I always do this after class on Friday’s, but Miss. Sunshine still smiles at me and thanks me every time.
Today she gives me a big, gold star sticker and tells me to stick it on my bag for being such a good help and getting the math question right. I smile up at her. The big sticker is very shiny. It also flashes when the light gets it. It’s very pretty.
I walk out the classroom and wave goodbye to Miss. Sunshine. I tell her I will see her next week. She smiles at waves back at me.
I don’t see any ponies in the corridor. It’s really quiet, and I can hear my hoofsteps making lots of different noises from everywhere again. I almost turn back and ask Miss. Sunshine why. Almost.
The sun is all orange and glowing outside. The whole world is a different colour, and everything looks a little different. Not a bad different, but still different. I choose to walk for a bit. I don’t feel like flying yet.
Just past the school there is a park. I always liked the park. There are lots of trees and even more grass. There is even a lake in the middle. I could run around and have fun and I don’t have to worry about breaking anything. Mommy never yelled at me for running around in the park. I used to go the park almost every day, but I stopped when I started flying. The park just didn’t seem as exciting after flying. I felt bad for the park. It wasn’t its fault that I liked flying…
I wander into the grass and the trees. They move creakily in the wind. The wind is soft, so they don’t creak a lot, just a little.
“Hey, Derpy!” yells a voice. It’s mean and not very nice.
I stop. I don’t like that voice. That’s Bludger’s voice. I turn to face him slowly. He looks at me. Around him are two other colts. They are his friends from school. One of them is Scales.
“Hi, Bludger!” I call back, trying to smile. “Hi, guys!”
“You were really stupid today, you know that?” he says as he moves closer.
I walk backwards into the shade of a big tree. When I hit the trunk of the tree, I stop.
“See? You can’t even walk straight,” Scales says. He rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, you’re so stupid,” the other pony says. They all laugh.
I try to laugh with them. I like to laugh. I like to smile. Maybe if I laugh and smile they’ll be my friends!
“Look at her,” Bludger says. He shakes his head. “Look at her eyes, they’re all weird.”
Weird...? My eyes are weird?
“They’re all wall-eyed and stuff. It’s not natural,” Scales adds.
What does wall-eyed mean? It doesn’t sound very nice… I smile again, but it doesn’t feel right at all. It feels all wonky and wrong.
Bludger watches me, shaking his head. “Look at her. She still doesn’t get it, does she?”
“Get what?” I say in my quiet voice. “I like to laugh and have fun!”
Bludger gives a short laugh. “See, you’re just slow. You don’t get it.”
Slow, why am I slow? That doesn’t make sense… I don’t move slowly at all. I always beat Bludger and his friends to class. Doesn’t that mean I’m fast?
“I…”
“Stupid pony,” Scales says loudly. I flinch as he does.
“Yup. You’re just stupid,” Bludger says.
“Actually, you’re just retarded,” Scales says. His face is all angry and mad.
“Re-tard-ed?” I say slowly. “What does-”
“Oh, shut up,” Scales says.
My face is burning now, and my eyes feel all warm and itchy.
“And what kind of a name is Derpy, anyway?” Bludger asks. “It’s a stupid name.”
“It’s not stupid…” I whisper.
“No, you’re right,” Scales says, “it's retarded.”
“You shouldn’t even have a name. You don’t need a name, your name is just a joke.”
I freeze. That’s what Mommy says. How does he know what Mommy says? My name isn’t a joke… it’s my name! Why do my eyes feel wet? I try to smile, but I can’t. I can’t smile anymore.
Bludger and Scales laugh. “Look at her, she’s crying. What a-”
“Enough.”
Everypony stops and turns to look at the new pony. I feel my eyes get really big. It’s the colt from earlier today! He is standing there looking all calm, just like Miss. Sunshine does. I can see his cutie mark from here. It’s a love heart with a weird curly thing on the point at the end, just like some grownups’ writing. It’s really pretty.
“Leave her alone,” he says. His voice is all quiet.
“Who are you?” Bludger asks.
“Nopony,” says the colt. “Leave her alone.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re being mean, and she’s had enough. Now leave her alone.”
Bludger looks the colt up and down. The colt doesn’t move. He looks Bludger straight in the eyes.
Bludger shrugs and he tosses his head to the side. “Ok, whatever. We’ve had enough fun here.” He turns and walks out of the park. All his friends walk after him.
“Catcha on Monday… Derpy.” Bludger looks over his shoulder and says this to me.
“Yeah, retard,” Scales says.
They crack up laughing. They don’t stay in the park for very long. I turn to the colt in front of me. My eyes still feel wet and icky and my stomach feels sick. I don’t like this feeling. I lower my head and lay down on the ground, and I try to rub my eyes. The ground feels cold and dirty. Not the nice feeling that the grass has.
A warm tickly thing wraps around me. I look up. It’s the colt. He is sitting next to me and his wing is hugging me tight. My nose is running, so I try to make it stop by sniffing when I look at him.
“Hey there,” he says in a quiet voice. Not a mean quiet voice, a nice one. “What’s your name?”
I look at him but I don’t understand. He heard what my name was, didn’t he? He smiles at me with a small smile that makes me feel a bit better. His eyes are warm. Just like the sun.
“Derpy…” I say slowly. My voice is all croaky.
“What a pretty name,” he replies. His smile never goes away.
“Pretty?” I ask. Nopony has ever called my name pretty before…
“Yeah, I think Derpy is a really nice name.”
“You really think so?”
“Yeah. I do.” He smiles at me again.
“But those colts said-”
“Those colts are bullies,” he says, not letting me finish my words. “They don’t know what they’re talking about.”
“They said I was stupid. That my eyes are funny and that I am slow and re-tard-ed.” My eyes feel all prickly again. I don’t like having prickly eyes. I can’t smile when I have prickly eyes, and I want to smile.
“They’re wrong.”
I look up at the colt. His smile looks smaller now, but his eyes are still warm and kind. They’re very warm, warmer than my bed or the sun. I didn’t even know that eyes could be warm, but these are.
“You’re perfect just the way you are,” he says slowly. “Don’t let anypony tell you differently.”
“I…” Perfect? I wasn’t perfect. I was Derpy. Nopony ever called me perfect. All of a sudden, I feel my mouth breaking. It is breaking big and quickly. I am smiling. A super big smile that makes the prickly feelings in my eyes go away.
“See?” the colt says. His smile gets bigger again. “Perfect.”
I smile up at him, and he laughs quietly. I start to giggle, too. I like to smile. I like to laugh. They make me feel happy inside.
“How are you feeling?” he asks. He stands back up quick.
I look at him and my smile goes away for a bit. “A little better.”
“Good,” he replies. He smiles again. “There is still a little bit of daylight left, would you like to get some food with me and then maybe we can go to Windy Point?”
The food sounded good. I had forgotten how rumbly my tummy was. “Windy Point?” I ask. “What’s at Windy Point?”
“Blowing bubbles, of course!” he replies. He is laughing really loudly, but it’s not a mean laugh or a bad laugh. It’s a nice laugh.
“Bubbles? Like the kind in a bath?”
“Yeah, a little like that. Just these ones are bigger and float for a long time. They’re really pretty.”
“I… that sounds like fun!” I say. My smile becomes bigger again. I am excited to get moving, so I stand up. But then I stop to look at him. “Are… you sure that you want to go do these things with me?” My voice is a little shaky again, and I get that sickly feeling in my tummy.
The colt stops and he looks at me carefully. But then he smiles. It’s the biggest smile yet and it’s brighter than the sun and warmer than my bed. It’s a smile that makes me smile. I love this smile.
“Of course I do,” he says. He is still smiling at me.
“Really?”
“Yeah, you’re my friend.”
I like to smile. Smiling makes me happy. Right now, I couldn’t stop smiling.
A/N
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. This story is really special to me for what I hope are obvious reasons. Some people can draw really well, others can create music. I needed to show my support for Derpy, so I started to write. It's simple, it's short, but it's for Derpy. And that's the important thing.
This story was conceived, planned and written in five hours one saturday afternoon. I wrote it in a blind expostulation of emotion, and because of that, I recognize its flaws. However, I hope you enjoyed it. Because that makes it all worthwhile.
A big thank you to HereticOfDune for graciously allowing me to use his magnificent piece of art. Be sure to check it and his DA page out here: http://hereticofdune.deviantart.com/art/Derpy-Hooves-287201559?q=boost%3Apopular%20sad%20derpy&qo=128
As always, I extend my eternal gratitude to my friend and editor, Sessalisk. I owe her everything as an author, and I cannot begin to describe just how much her help means. If you see her around, tell her she’s awesome, because she deserves it.
And finally, you’re perfect the way you are, Derpy. I will always love you.
Thank you for reading.
-Mystic