//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: How is Your Brain NOT Broken?! // Story: I've Got PONIES for ROOM MATES! // by Daaberlicious //------------------------------// Chapter 5: How is Your Brain NOT Broken?! "Seriously! You came in expecting me to be TOTALLY off my rocker, only to find that I've got PONIES for ROOM MATES, all six of them being mares, and you're willing to take to this like a fish to water. Why aren't you freaking out?" "Oh come on, Louis. We've had a long distance relationship for so long that you should know by now how stable our relationship is. And I'm majoring in psychology, so I knew you weren't lying the second time you called." "... Really." She gave me a mischievous grin. "... It's called a joke, Louis. I doubt you're unfamiliar with-" "Am I that bad at expressing sarcasm? I didn't believe it for an instant! How's your major coming along anyway?" "Oh, horribly. Seriously, my professor loves making me write essays on this stuff. I have two due next week, and I have to write 10 pages for each!" "That sounds awful..." Fluttershy expressed her pity. Chelsea seemed surprised to realize she was still in the room. "Wait. Why are you still here?" "You're holding me..." "I am? Oh, sorry. Why don't you just head back downstairs? Grownups are talking here." Chelsea put down the pegasus. Fluttershy noted that they all seemed to be the same age, but didn't have the courage to point it out, simply opting to trot downstairs away from that strange person. "Dude. She works a full-time job as a professional animal caretaker. She's probably more grown-up than you." "How do you know that? Did you two talk for a while or something?" "Chelsea, any brony worth his salt would know Fluttershy's occupation." "That's Flu- ?" Chelsea turned white as a sheet, then flopped onto the floor and stopped moving. Louis confusedly looked over her, then finally realized that he had witnessed an actual fainting spell, when he would have expected something like the actors did. Louis was no first aid expert, as he regretfully realized. The ponies heard a thump, but did not take notice of it: Twilight had already heard three originating from Louis, and if the past was anything to go by, this one wouldn't mean anything. Clearly, talking about the odds and ends of Ponyville was much more important than being concerned for Louis' potentially unstable girlfriend. Louis' girlfriend had knowledge that her boyfriend was a brony, and this in itself did not bother her. This was mostly due to her complete and total apathy towards the latest iteration of My Little Pony. She wasn't against the pink, cute and fluffy portions of her life, but she maintained a healthy and productive distance away from them in an effort to learn the inner machinations of the human mind. She's more interested in why pink, cute and fluffy things are so interesting to people rather than being interested in them herself, rendering her a successful tomboy-geek combination. Louis, however, although he happens to be a geek and looks just as average as his girlfriend with his black hair and un-tanned complexion, could not understand for the life of him how she managed to avoid MLP:FIM in such a way as to not be able to identify Fluttershy. Seriously... This kind of thing is impossible with everyone wanting her to be their "waifu" despite not even knowing what that means, and with similar people gushing about how cute she is, only to later go and write grotesque and horrifying fan-fictions about her dark side or something similarly awful. The motivations behind avoiding the name might be good, but it surely is an impossible task, would you think? Try shooting for a PHD with all your might and tell me that it's impossible. "Chelsea? Chelsea? Come on, wake up! Please tell me I'm doing CPR correctly!" "-AACK! LOUIS! What are you doing?!" "I was saving your life?" "Well don't put your hands there! That's not CPR, that's groping!" "Where am I supposed to put them?" "I... Don't know..." "... They didn't cover that detail in health class too well, did they?" "No... Ow. Did I hit my head or something?" "I think so. Don't get up." Louis deposited the psychologically rocked love of his life onto his bed (The floor is never a good resting place for a woman. Remember this, gentlemen!). The way she quickly made herself comfortable in his own bed might have implied a risque history between the two, but the most they had ever done there was cuddle... And besides kissing and holding hands elsewhere, it was the most they had ever done together. Chelsea collected her thoughts for a moment. "...That was Fluttershy." "Yes. You also passed the other members of the mane 6 on your way into this room." "So there are them too." Chelsea's spotless grammar took backstage to the current situation. "Yes." "..." "If it helps you any, I fainted too." "Hee hee! I suppose we were made for each other then... Do you suppose I'll have to watch My Little Pony now?" "No. That's a bad idea. Even if the characters in the show are accurate, they certainly won't be complete." She shot up, wincing a little from agitating the light bruise on her head. "You're right. And if anyone else thinks they know them already for whatever insane fan theories they've come up, we can't let them out of here in case someone tries to test those theories. This apartment is a prison right now!" "Yeah, minus the crappy conditions, complete isolation from the outside world, patrolling wardens, scheduled meals and sadist cellmates." "We got to get them out of here." "Still working on making their stay comfortable at the moment. Escape comes later, when I know what the crap I'm doing, and/or getting myself into." "So this just happened this morning? All these ponies?" "Yeah. I haven't had time to plan for anything." Louis girlfriend laid back down and stared at the wall thoughtfully. "So... Are you going to tell Laurie about this?" "No. This is a secret. That's a given... And I learned not to talk to her about any sensitive information with her after that open house incident." "OH RIGHT. That was... Very bad." "Down right awful, was what it was... Have you thought up sleeping arrangements for the ponies?" "I could let them use the futon, if you're okay with that." "Trust me. I don't plan on crashing at your place when you already have SIX guests." "Point taken. Alright then, six sets of bedding should do it, unless they're all comfortable with sharing the futon blanket."