//------------------------------// // Dresses, Drinks, and a Draconequus // Story: Wish Upon A Discord // by ShadeJak //------------------------------// When’s this gonna end? Rainbow wondered to herself as she shifted uncomfortably in the ridiculously feminine pink dress Rarity had placed her in. It was similar to the one Twilight had at the coronation, with so many skirts and so much flare to it, yet more lightweight for freer range in movement. Still… she couldn’t have looked more prissy if she tried. “Hm, you think I may have gone a little overboard, darling?” Rarity asked, adjusting her glasses. “A little,” the alicorn replied. “But where exactly?” Rarity wondered, looking over every detail carefully. “AH! I found it!” the seamstress said with a triumphant smirk. Her horn promptly started glowing, Rainbow grinned hoping Rarity had come to her senses and realized how this went beyond fancy, way more then anything she’d ever want to wear, or Twi for that matter she hoped. A single diamond in the center flew off and landed in the bowl next to Rarity. “There we go! Perfect! You are a vision, Twilight, if I do say so myself, and thanks to that spa trip, you’re all the better for it! Now go take a look in the mirror and tell me what you think!” she said, putting on her most excited smile as she gestured for the alicorn to step off the podium and look. For a moment, Rainbow hesitated. She never minded Twi or other ponies all dolled up to the heavens, but with it being her under that lavender coat, conditioned and styled mane, and this insane gown, it was another story. “Well, go on! Don’t be nervous!” Rarity insisted, and Rainbow felt a slight tug from a blue aura. “Yeah, okay!” Rainbow said, trotting over towards the mirror, wincing a little from the shoes Rarity added for good measure… from the looks of things she modeled them after the ones she’d had at the gala. She swore that mare just longed to live in fairy tales. Cautiously approaching, Rainbow moved toward the mirror and looked, and sure enough Twilight Sparkle stared back. She looked down nervously and shifted, brushing back the skirts of her gown a little. “Well, do you like it? I attempted to add to the gold trim so it’d go better with your crown whenever you wore it,” Rarity explained. “I also tried my best to make it as free-moving as I could without taking away the elegance, I don’t really recall you being the type for these sort of things but with your new status, it’s probably not as much of an option as it was.” “Yeah! O-of course I like it! I love it!” Rainbow said. Twilight probably would, and she knew even an instant of hesitation could probably make the seamstress risk nervous breakdown. “I’m sure I’ll be turning everypony’s head when I wear it at the next gala.” “Twilight, dear, I’ll be blunt with you,” Rarity said, walking over. “In all honesty, I was a little envious when you ascended. It’s always been a fillyhood fantasy of mine to be royalty, but I can see it’s something you’re having a hard time adjusting to. But if there’s anypony that can get through this and rise above it all, it’s you!” Don't I wish… Rainbow thought to herself, Twilight’s downcast expression in the mirror mimicking her own, oh feathers! Can’t make Rarity start prying! “Thanks, Rarity!” “You’re welcome, darling. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go make us some herbal hot tea, I must say it does wonders for relaxing my nerves after a lot of work!” Rarity said, trotting off gleefully, Opalescence following though briefly turning and giving a glare at Rainbow that reeked of suspicion. The alicorn shifted, the cat had been watching her non-stop since she’d got here, it’d been a relief she left with Rarity and Rainbow could finally relax a little. However, upon the cat’s departure a far less desirable occupant appeared in a flash of light before Rainbow’s eyes right out of the mirror. “Well hellooooo there, Twilight Sparkle! Oh, wait, you’re not Twilight, oh silly me you are her aren’t you now?” Discord asked. “After all, I can’t even remember who you were before you got all lavender and such.” “Really, Discord… you had to show up now?!” Rainbow asked, gritting her teeth. “And miss this golden opportunity to immortalize what has got to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen?” Discord laughed, slinking around her dress, lifting up the back and craning his long neck under. The instant he did, Rainbow’s eyes widened and her back hoof flew straight at the draconequus’ head, kicking him out and sending him rolling across the floor like a wheel. “Temper, temper, Princess! I was simply admiring this tale’s remarkable plot!” Discord said with a chuckle as he suddenly reappeared right in front of the alicorn sporting a pink floral-print button-down shirt, swim trunks, a pair of huge sunglasses, a straw hat, and an enormous camera around his neck which he promptly raised up and snapped photos with like some kind of annoying stereotypical tourist. “Alright, THAT’S IT YOU STUPID MISMATCHED FREAK!” Rainbow yelled furiously, leaping at Discord but the draconequus vanished before she could even reach him, sending her crashing face-first into the mirror followed by a rough landing on the floor, the chaos god’s obnoxious laughter echoing all around her. “Twilight, my word what in Equestria is going on in here?!” Rarity asked, hurrying in as she floated in a teapot and cups then stared down at the alicorn on the floor. Rainbow sighed. “A really annoying pest came in and wouldn’t leave me alone…” she said, using the first lame excuse she could think of. “Really big horsefly.” She added, causing Rarity to raise an eyebrow. “I see… have you managed to do away with it?” Rarity asked. “I’m beginning to wonder if the pressures of your new position are really getting to you, darling. I strongly advise this tea, it’s straight from Neighsia!” “…Sure,” The alicorn replied. It’d be so easy to just tell the truth, but then I’ll never live it down! They can’t know what really happened to me! ~ The tea had offered only minimal calming effect on Rainbow, and Rarity had come to the decision the dress could use a few changes and allowed her to leave. A quick trip to the market dealing with formal titles and the alicorn was now on her way back to Twilight’s house, with the thought of those hard cider bottles in the pantry that she’d maybe help herself to when she got back. Smirking as she saw the massive tree ahead, Rainbow flew as fast as she could to the entrance without dropping her things and went inside. “What a day… not used to doing this much without a nap,” she muttered. “How does Twi do it?” She dropped the groceries and focused, trying to float them into their shelves with Twilight’s magic. “Okay… sugar cookies go here… soups over here, tea mix, hay fries here, chips here, bread goes here… just like the pony food pyramid…” she said to herself as she sent them all to their proper place before suddenly pausing. “Did I seriously just ORGANIZE my—I mean Twi’s food?! You gotta be kidding me! That’s such an egghead thing to do!” she protested, letting out a frustrated yell and rearing back for a moment. “Come on, Dash! Think, think! You can’t get all nerdy like Twi! That’s her thing not yours!” she pleaded, taking a few breaths to try and calm down. “Stay cool, Rainbow Dash. You’re still awesome by definition where it counts, like you don’t know… uh… the square root of five-hundred and forty six!” As if she couldn’t help it, her mind broke down the equation. “Twenty-three point six-six-six-four-two-eight-nine-one-zero-ni—AAAAARGH!” The alicorn promptly fell to her back, gripping her head between her hooves in exasperation and rolling back and forth. “Horsefeathers I need a drink! Badly!” Pushing aside some of the food she’d placed in the pantry she immediately floated the hard cider bottles out. Never mind why Twi would have them… though she theorized she may have gotten them that time she was going through a nervous breakdown. Giving them an extra look-over, the alicorn shook her head, and flew back to the library’s main room and out the door, heading straight for the pub. ~ Acting natural there had been impossible. Twilight Sparkle wasn’t one to frequent it like Rainbow Dash was. Heading straight to the bar, she ordered her favorite mixed cider choice, ignoring the odd look she got from the bartender. She no longer cared, this was too much for her. “Hey, Twi, something up?” a female voice said next to her. Rainbow turned and saw a familiar white unicorn with a wild blue mane and an even more familiar set of tinted purple shades. “Hey, Vinyl,” she said. Ever since Pinkie Pie had introduced her to her they’d become bar buddies, though chances were the eccentric deejay was just as confused as everypony else to see what looked like Twilight sitting here in the pub. “You’re not gonna call me ‘Princess’ and ‘Highness’ are ya?” Rainbow asked. “Only if you want me to. Word around is you don’t exactly like being called that anyway,” Vinyl said with a confused tilt of her head. “Not to mention… can’t say you’re somepony I see here… well… ever!” “Right… well, just a lot of pressure I guess,” Rainbow said, hoping the deejay would buy her claim, and promptly took down her drink as fast as she could and ordering another. Only two drinks later, the world became brighter, the music became louder, and Vinyl became a lot more interesting. Rainbow’s last truly coherent thought was the realization Twilight’s utter inexperience with hard drinks and not to mention having not eaten before she left for the pub had left her a complete featherweight. “Twi, I think it’s time to cut you off… even if it was only two drinks!” Vinyl said. “This could be kinda bad for your new title, you know.” “Don’ gemme started on titleleles, titler!” Rainbow said, her speech now slurred and her head and hooves suddenly feeling fifty pounds heavier. “Iz SO annoying, can’ go anywhere wiffout everypony starin’ amme! Actin’ like they’re so scared’a me. I wanna be seen as AWESOME ya know? Bunnot worshipped n’ stuff, I learned that lesson a looooong time ago!” she protested. “An’ that’s not even da worst of it! Now I gotta be the good little filly for everypony, can’t have fun can’t step outta line ‘cuz oh no, Twily’s been a bad bad princess! She’s not allowed to do cool stuff! It’s all tests and prissy etimaqutte an’ stuff! Like some kinda little filly dream come true thingy!” Vinyl inched away, clearly surprised by the alicorn’s uncharacteristic behavior. “Okay, Twi… your bad speech is kinda funny to hear but I’m getting worried about ya, so—“ “No! Wait! Thassit! I figured it out!” Rainbow insisted, trying to focus on Vinyl but she couldn’t tell which of the two white unicorns in the purple sunglasses was the real one. “Discord’s gotta let me go back now!” “Discord, what’s he gotta—“ Vinyl didn’t finish when the alicorn suddenly wrapped her forehooves around her and gave her a big, ridiculously sloppy kiss, causing her to nearly fall from her stool. “Thanks, Vinyl! If it weren’t for ya, I wouldn’t have ranted the stuff that taught me a lesson!” Rainbow declared proudly, raising her hoof up dramatically and almost stumbling over as a result. “I gotta get back home now, kay I love ya buh-bye!” she said, floating more bits then she owed from her saddlebag and with a wave her horn glowed brightly, and the alicorn vanished instantly. The stupefied deejay touched her lips with her hoof, confusion on her face. “Yeah, definitely smashed,” she muttered before paying for her own drink and returning to the soundstage. ~ Reappearing upside-down six feet off the floor in the library, Rainbow Dash landed hard on her back and spent the next five minutes trying to get back up in her drunken state. “Discord! Get your feathered butt over here NOW!” Rainbow shouted, looking around angrily. In a flash of light, the god of chaos appeared. “Well, well! Looks like somepony’s been hitting the sauce a little too hard, doesn’t it? Now you know why I prefer a glass of chocolate milk!” he said with a laugh. “I learned-ed stuff, Discord…” Rainbow said, managing to stay balanced now. “It’s…” She tried to focus as best she could and resist the effects of alcohol in her system. “It’s…” she gagged, but managed to keep it all down. “I was… reckless… need to realize… getting big in the world… sacrifices freedoms… I’m not ready to… give up… and should enjoy it… while I can… right?” she asked, a hopeful look in her eyes. “Hmmm…” Discord said, stroking his beard, and seconds later he burst out laughing. “Nope! Still way off!” “You’re doing… nuffin but makin’ me mad, Discord! What am I spoze ta… learn from that?!” Rainbow demanded, her tone still slurred. “Well what do you know, maybe you’re capable of figuring it out after all!” Discord said with a chuckle. “But it won’t be tonight. You look ready to lose the fight with the cider any second now, Twilight!” He then snapped his fingers as if in realization of something. “Oh, reminds me, I paid a little visit to Canterlot and guess what! Twilight’s coming back home sooner then expected! Better hurry it up, my little pony!” the chaos god said, and he vanished in a flash of light that Rainbow could have sworn formed into a smiley face before it faded. Gritting her teeth, Rainbow let out a frustrated yell and galloped clumsily to the kitchen, floating out a cider bottle that then proceeded to rocket into the window, knocking the shutters open before zipping outside. Growling angrily, she grabbed the next one with her hoof and pulled out the cork with her teeth before chugging the whole thing down. Marching over to a mirror in the living room, Rainbow saw Twilight’s disheveled and tipsy appearance looking back. “Buckit all, Twi… I don’t wanna be you!” she said, pointing at the reflection lazily. “So… stop looking at me when I look at mirrors and stuff!” She said. “You’re a cool friend’n all, but… I don’t wanna be you!” A crisp knock at the door suddenly caught her attention. “COMING!” she yelled, louder then she’d meant. After three failed attempts at opening the door, Rainbow finally succeeded, leaning against the doorframe and saw Trixie of all ponies outside. “Wha…?” she asked. The showmare’s image began to spin and warp in front of her as she said something she could not understand, though she heard something about hearing Twilight was home early, and about needing to borrow some magic books, and something about no more amulets, and other things she could no longer make out with the drumming in her head. “Well, Twilight Sparkle, what is your answer to this?” Trixie asked. The alicorn’s response was not one of words, but of cider, stomach acid, and partially-digested food two inches from Trixie’s hooves. The showmare stared down at it for a moment, then looked back up at her. “Perhaps… another time. Trixie wishes to be gone from here before those moronic colts know she is here!” she said, though clearly less then pleased with what she had gotten from this visit. “The Great and Powerful Trixie gives you this pass for saving her from the amulet, but expect no mercy should you shame her with disrespect a second time, regardless of title!” the showmare stated, creating a puff of smoke and fleeing immediately. Watching her leave, Rainbow managed enough coherence to try and make a mental note to tell Twi next she sees her to get back to Trixie and know she might be ‘a tad annoyed but not to ask’. In the meantime, bed was looking very tempting right now, she could go and rest right about… The alicorn passed out before she could get three paces. ~ As the sun shone in her eyes from the windows, the first thing Rainbow noticed was the killer headache she now had, and the blur of last night’s events. Looking at her hooves she could tell she was still in her friend’s form. After a few attempts at standing while nursing her head, the alicorn shuffled and stumbled over towards the kitchen to find the necessary needs for a hangover remedy. Downing the unappealing mixture, Rainbow recalled how Discord once again rebuffed her attempts to get the right answer, and mentioned Twi would be home sooner. Wonderful She couldn’t learn of this, though by now her friends were likely to ask of her behavior. When she found Discord she’d have to hope he’d erase all memory of this… maybe herself included as she really didn’t want to have this haunting her the rest of her life. With that notion, it was decided. She didn't have much time left so if she couldn’t impress Discord with any lesson she’d learned and presented to him, she’d force him to undo this… one way or another.