//------------------------------// // S2E16: Read It and Weep // Story: My Little Pony: Bureaucracy is Politic // by swirlstar //------------------------------// Season 2 Episode 16 – Read It And Weep The Mayor’s Office, Ponyville The Agenda: 1. Keep current momentum. [ ] 2. Secure political control of the Legislative Council. [ ] 3. Win Election! [ ] GALLOP POLL: HEARTSTRINGS (EQE) 16% /BUSTER (EQA) 16% /MARE (IND) 17% (±5%) “Things are looking good, Ma’am,” Secretary for Administration Crimson Ribbon observed, handing over the daily agenda to his superior. “Third-place to first. Momentum is on your side.” “As it really should,” Mayor Mare smiled as she received the delectable news. “I mean, I keep Ponyville safe, right?” The gray stallion shrugged. “Hubris will lead to your downfall, Ma’am.” “Of course, of course,” the tan pony waved off the advice. “In any case, we need to find a way to keep this wave going.” “Indeed.” “So the first thing is to eliminate the things that would make us lose momentum!” The politician decisively banged her hoof on the desk. “Government scandals. Unpopular programs. All that stuff.” The bureaucrat nodded sagely. “Wise words, Ma’am.” “Thank you, Mr. Ribbon.” The gray-maned mare smiled. “Now I assume we aren’t so stupid as to introduce tax increases or slash benefits during this time of year?” The Secretary for Administration smiled and shook his head. “Thought so.” The tan pony leant back in her chair. “So the main issue will be employee checks. Criminal records. Skeletons in the closet. Bedroom secrets, even. We must be thorough.” “Indeed, Ma’am.” “Good!” Mayor Mare beamed as she stood up. “Obviously, if such ponies exist, we must do everything possible to neuter the political damage – including summary dismissal, if need be.” “I’m sure that Ponyville’s Civil Service is squeaky-clean as ever,” the gray stallion commented as he headed for the exit. “I shall send you the outline for the employee review in a few hours. Good day to you, Ma’am.” * Weather Manager’s Office, skies above Ponyville PONYVILLE CIVIL SERVICE TRIBUNAL AN OBLIGATORY SUMMONS FOR: Miss Rainbow Dash WITH REGARDS TO: A reported instance of petty theft in Ponyville Hospital PLEASE SCHEDULE YOUR APPEARANCE WITH THE REGISTRAR “Not good, not good, not good!” Rainbow Dash mumbled as she flew around and around her office, leaving a mess of paper in her wake. How naïve of her to think that all her troubles had ended, the moment Twilight Sparkle took Dr. Stable aside for a little chat! The pegasus’ actions may have been quietly forgiven, but of course the Hospital had to keep records of what had happened. And now somepony had fished them out to her detriment. “Oh, what am I going to do, what am I going to do!” The cyan pegasus’ mutterings had turned into a desperate wail. Rainbow Dash, so soon after the Mare-Do-Well affair, was staring at the prospect of jail – and even worse, being jobless – again. Her luck was bound to run out at some point. “Oh, think, think, think, Rainbow!” The weathermare scrunched up her face in search of solutions. “Twilight… maybe Twilight can- ARGH!“ she knocked herself on the head angrily for even considering it. Who was she to be asking Twilight to save her yet again? Hadn’t the unicorn done more than enough? No: this time round, Rainbow Dash was going to solve the problem herself, or else face the music like a pegasus. So what could Rainbow Dash do to save herself from dismissal? “Think, Rainbow! Come on, come on, come on… !” One: if I’m gonna not get fired by the Mayor, I’m gonna have to find something so that she HAS to keep me here. Two: that means I’m gonna have to find something she wants. Three: we’ve got an election now, so the Mayor obviously wants popularity… or maybe… The prismatic mare skidded to a halt in mid-air, so struck by a wonderful idea that one could almost see the lightbulb above her head. Quick as a flash, she darted over to the weather schedule, still miraculously pinned to the wall despite the whirlwind that had been stirring for the past ten minutes or so. Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened and she cackled with glee as her mind began to nurture this germ of a scheme. Yes, Rainbow Dash could offer something that Mayor Mare wanted very much. * Market Square, Ponyville Celestia herself could not have hoped for a brighter and sunnier day. The stalls in Market Square were more bunched up than usual, occupying only half the square. The vendors didn’t mind much: occasions like these were always good for business. “Citizens of Ponyville!” Lyra Heartstrings announced from the meticulously-constructed stage. “I come here, on behalf of the Equine Party, to ask for your vote today! Lyra Heartstrings – A Vote for Change!” The crowd was insatiable. “Ly-ra! Ly-ra! Ly-ra!” “The Equine Party hears your pain!” Lyra Heartstrings proclaimed, going through the gestures so carefully rehearsed backstage. “For too long Ponyville has seen its rights surrendered to the elitists in Canterlot! Mayor Mare is selling out our freedoms to the Central Government, Ponyvillians! We want to rule on our own terms!” Concerted stomping and cries of “Boo!” and “Shame!” at the mention of the incumbent’s accursed name. “Ponyvillians!” Lyra cried again, engrossed in the moment. “For too long, Town Hall has shown repeated disrespect to the Princesses in Canterlot! Mayor Mare seems bent on making Ponyville, once again, the rebel capital of Equestria!” More concerted stomping and more cries of “Boo!” and “Shame!” at the mention of the incumbent’s accursed name, seemingly oblivious to the contradictions the lime-green pony was spouting. “Ponyvillians!” Lyra rose her voice in preparation for the oratorical climax. “Lyra Heartstrings will- “ Rumble. The once-raucous crowd suddenly went silent. All heads tilted upwards to see an ominous, terrifying, thick black cloud overhead. RUMBLE- and with that, the first drops of rain began to fall. It was everypony for herself. “Runnn!” ponies screamed as they bolted left and right, Market Square quickly disgorging itself of living souls, leaving a by-now-terrifically-soaked Lyra Heartstrings shivering in the wet cold. “Argh...!” the cyan pony gritted her teeth and cursed skyward. “What the hay is going on here! It’s the fourth consecutive time this has happened!” “Lyra, you’ll catch a cold like this!” Bon Bon admonished as she quickly shielded her companion with her umbrella, the rain falling in torrents around them. “Get back inside!” “I don’t believe this!” Lyra scrunched up her speech in a rage and hurled it at an empty audience. “Four days in a row! It’s a conspiracy, Bon Bon; it’s a conspiracy!” “It’s bad luck, Lyra!” Bon Bon shot back. “The world doesn’t revolve around you!” The opposition candidate snorted and stomped her hooves. “Mayor Mare’s never had bad weather this week. Even when her rallies were at the same time as mine!” “Well- ” Now that Bon Bon thought about it, that did seem a little odd. “Look, Lyra: unless you can prove otherwise, there’s no point in getting all worked up about it! Now just come backstage and enjoy a nice hot cup of tea… ” * Weather Manager’s Office, skies above Ponyville “So you’re taking over Parasol’s job while she’s away, huh,” Rainbow Dash observed as her cerise eyes measured Crescent Moon’s figure. “Well, you seem up for it. Cleared.” “Thank you, Ms. Dash,” the brown pegasus mumbled as he received the hoof-stamped storm-schedule from his boss, going over every single detail like only a fresh face would. “Rainbow’s fine,” the pegasus corrected him as she reclined into her cloud. “Any questions, new guy? Storm Division’s not the cushiest of jobs.” “Umm… so, any tips on moving and setting off those clouds?” Crescent Moon asked, anxious to make the best first impression. “Ah, don’t worry about it,” Rainbow Dash put her forelegs behind her head. “I’ll be teaming up with you, so all you gotta remember now is to turn up for your first storm next week.” “Um. Alright,” the newcomer replied nervously as he re-checked the location and time of said first storm. “Manesday noon, Ponyville Park… hey, that’s exactly where Lyra’s holding her next rally.” The cyan pegasus’ eyes twitched. “O-oh?” she stammered. “That’s… that’s too bad for Lyra, I guess… ” Crescent Moon narrowed his eyes as he scrutinized the schedule further. “Now that I think about it, Lyra’s rallies have continuously been struck by heavy thunderstorms these past few weeks.” “Oh, uh… really?” the prismatic mare shifted uncomfortably in her cloud, beads of sweat rolling down her nape. “That’s… kinda strange. I didn’t realize that… ” The brown pegasus looked up from his schedule and smiled. “Yeah, bad luck I guess,” he reassured his superior. “Could happen to anypony.” Rainbow Dash was just desperate to get away from this conversation. “Yeah. Sure. Whatever.” Crescent Moon cleared his throat. “Rainbow, can I ask a question?” “Shoot.” “How long before I get promoted to Team Head?” The prismatic mare frowned at such an arrogant question. “Team Head?” she repeated. “You’re just a temp until Parasol comes back. If you’re good enough I guess I could put you on as a trainee.” The brown pegasus’ smile grew even wider. “I see. Forget I asked, Rainbow.” “No problem, new guy. See you at the Park in two days.” * Outside the Mayor’s Office, Ponyville Rainbow Dash never got around to creating that Manesday storm. Instead, she was cowering in a dark corner, dark and foreboding wooden doors in front of her, trying her best not to cry – and only managing to look more like a miserable failure, with terrified tears streaking uncontrollably down her face. She could her the muffled sounds from the other side – Lyra’s voice through the radio, screeching in demented glee: “Ponyvillians! We now have ABSOLUTE PROOF of Mayor Mare’s treachery! How DARE she use our Civil Service for her own NEFARIOUS ends! We shouldn’t call her Mayor Mare – we should call her DICTATOR MARE! If the Princess is listening: please, PLEASE rescue us from this pony’s EVIL tyranny!... ” Then a sound of breaking glass, concurrent with Twilight’s startled yelp. “What in Celestia’s HAY has your friend DONE?!” Mayor Mare berated her protégé, lacing her statement with words unheard-of outside the Baltimare dockyards. “Are you trying to get rid of ME, Twilight!” “No, no, no, Mayor, I swear by Celestia!” the purple unicorn whimpered, sounding close to tears herself. “I’m sorry! I should have realized what Rainbow was going to do! I should have told her to stop it… I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” “I can’t believe this, Ms. Sparkle!... ” Mayor Mare’s rage continued lashing at the bookish unicorn as Rainbow Dash’s guilt overwhelmed the pegasus. The prismatic mare had hatched this stupid plan precisely because she didn’t want to entangle Twilight with her problems – and all she had done was drag her entirely-innocent friend into another morass. Twilight didn’t deserve this. Body still shuddering with emotion, and with a lot more effort that she had expected, Rainbow Dash slowly and steadily picked herself up. Time to face the music, like a pegasus. “…your friend has just ruined EVERYTHING that I’ve done so far! She’ll be lucky if I- “ Rainbow Dash sighed and knocked feebly at the door. Mayor Mare abruptly came to a halt mid-rant. Silence. Rainbow Dash knocked again, slightly more strength this time round. Darn it, she hadn’t realized that holding back her tears was so difficult – more difficult than anything else she had done. “C-come in,” Twilight’s voice answered. The door creaked open a little and Rainbow Dash crept into the room, not daring to look at anything save the carpeted floor. She took her position right beside the entrance. The longest pause in Rainbow Dash’s life. “Umm… hi, Rainbow,” Twilight Sparkle began lamely. The pegasus closed her eyes and inhaled. “It was… all my fault,” she declared softly, each word an absolute agony. “I didn’t want you to fire me for stealing a book from the Hospital. I wanted to solve my own problems without Twilight having to help. For once.” With nothing more to be said, Rainbow Dash lowered her neck and waited for the ax to fall. Every passing minute only added to the hurt. Rainbow Dash wasn’t sure why it was taking the Mayor so long to fire her. She heard Twilight whispering to the Mayor, however – so maybe the unicorn was going to save her again. That possibility only weighed Rainbow Dash’s heart down even more… “Rainbow Dash,” Twilight said at last. “Yes, Twilight.” “The Mayor is going to let you stay on as Head of Weather- “ “Great.” The cyan pegasus’s head drooped even further. “ –I’m not done yet, Rainbow,” the voice reprimanded sternly. “She’s only doing that because Lyra’s going to fire you – if not the whole department – in a few days’.” The prismatic mare sighed in response. “Thanks.” “That's all. You may leave.” Twilight Sparkle could only look sadly as her friend slunk out of the room. Rainbow Dash had made a colossal error and – judging from the lethal glares the Mayor was shooting at the weathermare – had utterly torpedoed the Mayor’s campaign. At least the unicorn had managed to stay Rainbow Dash’s demise; but as far as she could see, it would take more than a miracle to revive all of their rapidly waning fortunes.