Chapter XXVI
It didn't take Mac five minutes to find his sister. Getting to her was another story entirely. They both had places they liked to go and think when things bothered them. His was behind the woodshed; Applejack's was high. Very high.
Slowly he cantered toward their almost, but now-destined-to-never-be, finished tree house. Little Mac could see his sister's outline, orange fur glowing in the moonlight. She perched on top of the roof, staring up of the mare in the moon. Mac stood below, listening to her gentle breathing. He hoped she didn't make him climb up there.
"AJ? Come down."
"Why?" The muted reply came back, chin resting on her legs.
"It's late. Y're worryin' Granny." He really didn't want to climb up there.
"What does she care? She'll just be mad if I miss school tomorrow, or skip my stupid chores."
She was going to do it, wasn't she? After a day of working and studying and being bone-dead tired, his sister was really going to make him walk up that ramp and climb on top of that club house. Mac did it though, grunting and cursing every step of the way. His sister needed him more than he feared heights. Who invented Gravity anyways? They were Earth ponies; they belonged to the good, rich earth.
With a struggling step Little Mac pulled himself onto the roof. He scrunched low, dog crawling towards the peak, afraid of looking any direction even related to down. Applejack never lifted a hoof to help, she just rolled her eyes and went back to star gazing.
"I didn't invite ya up here, ya know."
"Eyup."
Mac settled in next to his sister. Cold and rigid, she let her armor fall away around her brother, the only pony she could trust to let her be herself. Sometimes she almost cried, sometimes she beat him, and still other times she just talked, pouring out her feelings. Tonight she was content with nestling in close, rubbing up against him so close that their ribs touched. Her protector, her champion; her big brother.
"I hate this farm."
Applejack didn't bother looking at it, she'd seen it so many times she could walk it blind. Instead she kept her face turned upwards, moon glow showering down upon her. Mac let his eyes dance across her, one of the prettiest young mares he knew. Of course, he was biased, so maybe his opinion didn't count. Granny's neither.
"Don't give me tha' look, I'm serious. I'm leavin', Mac. It's just a question of when." Mac blinked. "I don't know, pro'ly with Aunt and Uncle Orange. I'm gonna be a proper city miss." Mac blinked again. "I can too, if I wanted! If not Mahehattan, then maybe Hoofston. I've just gotta get off this farm. It's killin' me inside. I already hated it, and now I can't turn anywhere without seein' their faces. It's fine for you; you always wanted to be a cowpoke. Me? I want something more. Aw, shucks, you wouldn't understand."
Applejack was mistaken, Mac did understand. Yes, he enjoyed working at Sweet Apple Acres, just like his father, and his father before him. But that didn't mean he held no dreams. He wanted to go to college, major in agriculture, try to help the floundering farm. Maybe science could prevail where perspiration alone had failed. Oh yes, he knew about dreams, and loss, just as much as his sister.
"What do you want?" Little Mac offered a rare sentence.
The only time he spoke with any eloquence was around Applejack, or when he had to save her from Applebloom. When AJ got really mad she wasn't smart enough to out think their smallest sister, and Granny strictly forbade Applejack to harm a hair on her red head. That left their brother to save them both from what was currently a fairly equal playing field. He never faulted either of them, though.
"I want to be free. I want to run, to fly, to soar. I want to man an airship, glidin' way up high like the Pegasi do. I want to battle sky pirates and fire the cannons and command a sky frigate. I want to attend fancy parties and be a truly elegant lady. I want to be rich! All the stallions will love me, and I will break all their hearts before I fly away in my armored zeppelins, jus' like in my stories."
"Those stories aren't real, AJ." Thank Celestia. Just being this high was enough to give Little Mac the shakes. Being that far off the ground would send him into convulsions.
"I know that, ya dunce. I 'rote them, remember?"
"You never finish them."
"I could if I wanted to! I could be a writer!"
"Eyup." Little Mac rolled his eyes, smiling.
"Don't you give me that face, big brother. This is your sister Applejack, remember? The loyalist of friends and most dependable of ponies? I can do anythin' I set my mind to." Applejack warmheartedly jabbed her brother in the ribs. "Besides, I know those stories ain't real. But if I become a proper lady, maybe part of my dream'll come true. The real part." Applejack sighed, staring up at the stars once more. "...An' maybe then I can find my home."
"You are home." Mac reassured, resting his head on top of hers.
"If home is where your heart is, then why does my heart hurt so bad?"
~~~~~~
Rainbow Dash snored. Fluttershy knew that already, but normally she wasn't this loud. Maybe it was something about their bed? Considering it was a mattress stuffed with hay and a roped cross-hatch box spring, it certainly wasn't as comfortable as a cloud. It just didn't have the same warmth or give. Still, if it were good enough for Applejack, Fluttershy would offer no complaints. She just wished Dash would stop snoring already.
Jabbing her friend in the ribs, gently, Fluttershy rolled over with a sigh. Why couldn't she sleep? Her body certainly needed the rest, but she just couldn't stop her mind from dog fighting. So many thoughts raced around her mind; Apollyon and her mother and Dash's mother, school and boys and wings, the Apples and fighting and Applejack. Little Mac.
She did like him, just not the same way she liked Ace. She dreamed about Ace sometimes, imagined them getting married. But Little Mac... He made her whole body warm. He made her feel safe. They hadn't said fifteen words to each other but she couldn't get him off her mind. The way he stood, the way he smelled, it etched itself onto her mind. She saw the way he treated Applebloom and especially Applejack, the way he looked at her, and the way AJ treated him back, and it made Fluttershy want to act like Rainbow Dash and kick her in the head. How could any pony be mean to Little Mac, especially his own sister?
Was that it, perhaps? Fluttershy was envious, yes, but she didn't think this was a crush. This felt... safer, somehow. Did she view him as Applejack did, as a brother?
Pegasi anatomy usually only called for a single child. There were occasional siblings, Ace's teammate Thunderlane being one of those with a baby brother. In incredibly rare cases there had even been reported twins. For the most part though, every Pegasi was an only child. If anything, that only strengthen the bond between Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash; they were the sister that neither of them would ever have.
The floorboards in the hallway creaked. Fluttershy's ears went alert, searching out the sound as her eyes subtly shifted on instinct, alert for predators. Applejack had come in about an hour ago, grabbed a few things and left without comment. Fluttershy tried to say hello, but her tongue tied at the pony's brisk nature. Rainbow Dash had already fallen asleep.
Gently, so as careful not to disturb her impossible-to-disturb bed fellow, Fluttershy rose to her feet, quietly walking to the door. There she peeked out and listened. Granny Smith stood in the hall, clad in her night robe. Fluttershy wondered if she'd gone senile, forgetting where she was again. Then she opened to door to Applebloom's room, peering in. Fluttershy got it; she was checking on her grandchildren. That left a fuzzy feeling in Fluttershy's heart and made her want to cry at the same time.
Walking to Little Mac's room, Granny Smith did the same thing there, looking in on her charges. Finally she reached Applejack's room, and paused. Applejack wasn't there, no need to check. Yet she still hesitated. Fluttershy held her breath; she wanted Granny to check on her, needed her to! She needed someone, somewhere to show her that she was still loved. Granny paused, listening. Fluttershy held her breath, sinking deeper into the shadows.
Then Granny moved on. The door didn't open, no green head peered in. Fluttershy almost sobbed. Throwing open the door she hurled herself into the hallway, panting heavily and choking back quiet sobs. Granny looked her once over and offered a sad smile. Then came what Fluttershy least expected, but needed most. She got a hug.
Fluttershy didn't have any pony in her life to hug her; not since her mother died. Her father certainly never did, and the maids weren't allowed. Nor were the teachers. Firefly would, but they were weak sickly things lately, and Fluttershy was afraid to squeeze for fear of hurting her. Skystriker would just lay an approving hoof on her shoulder. And Dash, well, Dash was never much one for hugs.
But Granny Smith was made for hugs. Beguiling her frail form, her muscles were still strong as woven cables, and her grip held Fluttershy fast. This hug, these limbs, they were safe. Fluttershy felt herself going spineless, flopping back and forth like a rag doll in arms she never wanted to escape.
"Oh Granny..."
"Hush." Granny released her, indicating the doors and their sleeping occupants.
Then she gestured towards the stairs. Fluttershy nodded, following her down. She paused once to stare in through the open door to Little Mac's room. He was there, curled into a tight ball against the wall. But there was just enough moonlight coming through the window to illuminate the sleeping orange form sprawled next to him. Fluttershy shot a questioning look to Granny who only smiled, continuing down the stairs.
"She gets nightmares." Granny poured a cup of tea, handing it to Fluttershy sitting across the kitchen table. She then poured one for herself before settling down as well. "Sneaks in there sometimes. They think I don't know."
"Why?" Fluttershy sipped from her cup. It was good, strong chamomile tea in dainty little cups; much like the Apples themselves. Probably the most expensive things they owned, too.
"In case you ain't figured it out already, Applejack's mommy and daddy passed away. It fell to me to take care of their three young'uns. Applebloom will most likely never remember her parents. Little Mac was about your age, maybe a little older. He's come to accept it. But Applejack, she ain't let it go yet."
"Was it an accident?"
Granny shook her head. "I'll admit two going at once was mighty peculiar, but the circumstances were strange enough. It seems there were a bit of trouble some years back, my son and his young bride got themselves mixed up in. Helpin' a "special" task force from the Princess or some such nonsense. Couldn't keep my baby from dyin'. Dragon fire, as you well know, is radioactive. In the end, though, it was just plain ol' cancer that got 'em."
Fluttershy's eyes went wide, immediately thinking of Firefly and her own struggle. Firefly, who was dying at home, who would soon leave Rainbow Dash without a mother, just like Fluttershy. Posey, who tried to bargain for a cure, for the lives of her sick friends, the Apples.
Fluttershy understood the pain in this house now, and why she and Rainbow Dash got along so well; they were all children of pain, children of Apollyon. Now the only one left to be baptized in the fires of death was Rainbow Dash.
"Rainbow Dash's mother is dying too."
Granny nodded. "It is a hard road, child, and your little friend will need you more than ever 'fore this is over. Applejack still ain't through it, three years on. And Little Mac may look Big, but it don't never leave you."
"What can I do? I'm just one pony."
"You're her friend, ain't ya? Be kind. She's gonna be hatin' somethin' awful, and even if it's you, don't stop lovin' her. She'll come around in the end. Jus' be there for her and you'll be fine."
Fluttershy looked away. What should she say? What could she say? Here were yet two more lives claimed by the evil of Apollyon, at the hooves of her mother. If she'd left well enough alone, perhaps her friends might have lived. Certainly Firefly would not be ill. If Posey had stayed out of it, at the very least, she'd still be there for Fluttershy! It was a selfish though, but there it was just the same. Rainbow Dash was wrong. Ponies couldn't just die, right? Someone had to be at fault. Someone had to be blamed.
So Fluttershy blamed some pony who wouldn't mind, some pony who was already dead. She blamed her own mother. But the act of blaming and hatred hurt far more than she expected. Fat tears welled up involuntarily, tapped deep inside from her pain and anger. It took Granny some time to notice as Fluttershy tried to dry her face.
"Hey, what's your problem? You're not hurt."
"It's not fair. She should have known better. That was Apollyon." Fluttershy wiped her nose. "It's all her fault."
"All whose fault?" Granny thought she'd lost her teeth again.
"Mother's."
"Oh." Granny put two and two together. "I see. I see."
"Why did l wander so far from home?"
"Oh, it's not your fault, child. It's not your mother's fault. Now, you pay attention to ol' Granny Smith: It is nobody's fault. The great circle of life has begun." Granny put her hooves on Fluttershy's comforting the crying girl. Granny felt her own eyes grow misty, remembering this exact conversation with Mac three years ago. "But, you see, not all of us arrive together at the end."
"What'll I do? I miss her so much."
"And you'll always miss her. But she'll always be with you if you remember what she taught you. In a way, you'll never really be apart, 'cause you're still a part of each other."
"My tummy hurts." Sniffed Fluttershy.
"Well, that too shall pass in time, young'un." Granny refilled her teacup, sliding it back to Fluttershy. "But only in time."