//------------------------------//
// Chapter 7: The Board is Set - The End of the Pre-Classical Era 
// Story: Equestria: A History Revealed 
// by Hoofry_Poneigher 
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	General consensus is that Discord may have orchestrated the rise in frequency of monster attacks, while playing subtle, yet disorderly pranks on small cities. The important trait to this plan would be in its unpredictability. Local animals acting in weird ways, the optional nature of gravity; these were all practical jokes that Discord played to increase a fearful and unnerving feeling among the population. This feeling of powerlessness would of course need an outlet, and the government was an easy target. Eventually, national order was weakened and Discord himself was able to shatter the tenants of Equestrian society.

Shockingly, this seems to be one of the only points that these idiot scholars had gotten correct, as it ties in with past accounts and governmental records. Nonetheless, this portion of history may only be accurate because there was probably no gain that Celestia could make by fabricating it. It is in this next statement in which I find the flaws in logic.



“His slow, but steady chaos soon reaching the capital of Trottingham, Discord accentuated the problems of the inner government by turning its members apart. Titled by modern scholars as the “Disorder of a Hundred Days”, Discord visited the members of the government secretly as a voice that could be heard only by his target. As such, Discord was able to use his skills in manipulation to turn every member of the government, all one hundred and fifty ponies, against each other. Within a span of little more than 3 months, he had deteriorated the relationship of the already agitated ponies into one of violence and chaos. In the last days of the regime, the structure that the [Three Caballeros] had worked so hard to establish was unrecognizable; the government building that was created to ensure cooperation had gained a reputation that went against everything it had strived to achieve. From that point on, Discord was able to rise to power unchallenged.”[26]



The flaw in this testimony reveals itself with my cross-examination. TAKE THAT!© I had searched multiple records in the Crystal Library for accounts and anecdotal evidence regarding this “Hundred-Day Disorder”, but this name is never referenced once. While brief mentions of a possible manipulation occurred in ancient records, “Thy Discord verily accelerated the seduction of the government into chaos”,[27] the title of the event was never specified. Also, are we expected to believe that Discord could manipulate so many ponies in so little time? Assuming that Discord had a consistent rate of corrupting ponies a day, according to my mathematical deduction skills,


150 ÷ 100 = 1.5 [28]


This means Discord corrupted 1.5 ponies every day. Of course, this is impossible; corrupting 0.5 of a pony is simply impossible, because ponies are whole and one must see them as whole numbers. Mathematically speaking, there is already a flaw in this argument. Unless Discord corrupted multiple ponies a day, which let’s face it, was probably impossible for anypony, even a so-called “master of manipulation”, to do. It is almost inconceivable how this self-proclaimed Discord-specialist and the historical scholars that agreed with him missed such a basic mathematic error. But I suppose this just serves as a testament to their stupidity.

Due to this lack of evidence and incredulous flaws in logic regarding the validity of the Hundred Days, Foot’s claim can be identified as inconclusive, if not rejected outright. Besides, Celestia would definitely have a hand to play when discussing the specifics of the government’s fall, as by changing the details here, would allow her to make Discord seem like more of a threat (to consolidate her power when she and her sister defeated her), and place more emphasis on the weaknesses of her predecessors (as I stated, to provide the carte blanche for the regime to eliminate organizations that were both problematic and a threat to her rule). Therefore, the inaccuracy of Foot’s claim could be possibly attributed to Celestia’s interference.

So how did the government fall?

I assume you all know the legend behind the origins of Hearts and Hooves Day? If I may interject with a personal anecdote, my familiarity with this tale stems from when my mother wasn’t drunk enough to read from the cookbook again, and would instead tell me bedtime stories of fables and legends from long ago. As we all know, the legend goes that the holiday got its start due to a prince mixing up a love potion. Following some hilarious hijinks that would be sure to fill 70 minutes of a B-movie rom-com, the couple caused the downfall of their entire regime. To quote selections from the legend itself,



“Thanks to the love poison, they were lost in each other’s eyes; their royal duties overlooked. It would have been romantic if it wasn’t so date-rapey. Suddenly, a pony-eating dragon unexpectedly descended upon high and roasted them alive with his furious breath of hellfire. Then he burned all of the other ponies alive too. You would assume he might have eaten them after that, but to think that would be racist. Not all pony-eating dragons eat ponies you know. And besides, there’s no point in eating charcoal. The fall of the kingdom soon came shortly after, and was succeeded by a reign of chaos. And that’s how Hearts and Hooves Day came to be.”[29]



What we should take from this fable is not to not trust dragons, or not to make love potions (whose exact recipe is coincidentally printed on the next page), but this tale’s place in the façade we call history. This so-called story actually has no basis in history if one was to look at it objectively. In reality, rulers called Prince Finecheeks and Princess Honeybuns never were real ponies. But if the passage is approached as a metaphor, things become far clearer. That’s right, we’re returning to educated speculation and scholarly analysis again. And there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

Obviously this legend is not meant to be taken seriously, but rather that it acts as a placeholder for an event purposefully lost to history. I believe that you see where I’m getting at already. Such a tangent in this chapter would be superfluous without a point.

Yes, it’s true; lately I have been attracted to Crazy Larry. The way he rummages through the garbage, with his greasy clumps of mane blowing with the wind; there are no words. Except for the ones I just used to describe him. But that’s beside the point. My real point is that the Hearts and Hooves legend is a metaphor wrapped in symbolism for the end of the Pre-Classical Era.

Draconequuses (draconeqi?) were not well documented during 388, probably because they were not yet recognized by the early scientific community. The lack of such vital information about dragons and draconequusesi¿ would have led to a great deal of confusion, and would explain a possible misinterpretation of Discord’s true being. But perhaps the greatest evidence to the existence of this misunderstanding is my discovery of some late Pre-Classical governmental reports regarding the threat and nature of Discord, which identified him as a dragon.[citation needed] The above passage’s use of the words “descended upon high” is also clear evidence regarding the mystery of his origins, as if he was a being who literally came from the sky. Or perhaps from space. See how it’s all tying together?

The description of the traditional fire breath of the dragon can also be called into question, namely with the use of the word “hellfire”. Was it added in for artistic flair? Or was it added in by Celestia to strengthen this hidden historical metaphor to once again hide the truth in plain sight to those who are smart enough to catch it? In my knowledgeable expert professional opinion, there is a high probability and likelihood favoring the latter. After all, she did do the same thing to the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant, which means she would have easily done it again for another national holiday just to spite us the ignorant. And if she did it for the Hearts and Hooves day legend, then that means she would have definitely done it for the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant, for the backstory behind the creation of Equestria was far more important than a glorified National Singles Awareness Day. And with that, we have now reached a new shape of thought, one without a point. So let’s make a 360 degree turn back to my original purpose of this paragraph.

The choice in vocabulary here mirrors Clover’s use of the word “dark” in Chapter 2. But while that was simply a keyword to alert one’s attention to an active literary allusion, the use of the word “hellfire” here represents far deeper symbolism. Obviously, the first part of the word represents despair and suffering, as the pronoun “he” represents the fall of the first stallion as told by the Book of Faust (which will be covered in further detail later, or at least receive a passing mention if I still remember) and how his original sin, bringing fire and spreading knowledge to the world by burning down Faust’s Tree of Knowledge, caused the continent and future country of Equestria to be cursed to house despicable creatures. I am of course certain that the legend refers to the bison, griffons, and cows as the horrid beasts that populate our pure soil. And monsters too I suppose.

The use of the letter “L” in such concurrent succession also implies a greater emphasis be placed on the word. The l’s stand tall, as if they were a beacon of light to us all. Perhaps they symbolize that the only hope for Equestria now is to pursue an anti-immigration policy, to build a wall around Equestria to keep all those filthy bison and other riff-raff away from our cities and towns. But that’s a different project I’ve been pursuing. Finally, the use of the word fire should be obvious. It represents fucking fire. One might overanalyze its usage here and state that the word choice here is a representative symbol for how easily Discord’s wrath spread across the land and how quickly the situation escalated to such a degree. But in that case, the use of the words “herpes” or “gonorrhea” would have worked just as well, and would have kept in line with the whole burning theme it had going on there.

Putting the word back together, the use of this adjective was to draw attention (the double l’s) to the sinful (the “he”) flames (“fire”) of the dragon. Therefore, in just three paragraphs, I have come to the conclusion that the choice of the descriptive word “hellfire” was meant to describe an evil fire.

Leaving that aside for now, the major points connecting the legend to the rise of Discord are the “fall of the kingdom” and the “reigning of chaos”. Ignoring the use of the word “kingdom”, which was most likely to chosen by Celestia to avoid having to fill young fillies’ minds with the idea of democracy; with the fall of the Equinus Republic in 389, the rule of Discord officially began, and chaos did indeed rule supreme. It is at this moment in which such similar occurrences between the story and reality surpass the laws of coincidence, and it is through these significant parallels that one can accept this supposed legend as an authentic retelling of an event lost to the folds of history.

However, this leaves the final question to understanding the metaphor. What did the love potion represent? Could it have been how easily the ponies of the government were deceived by Discord, much like how the Princess was fooled by the Prince? Or even the degradation of true love and respect between the ponies? I would like to present a far more daring possibility. It represented...

A love potion.

You see, realistically, it would not make sense for Discord to corrupt one pony through his tricks alone a day (it would just to be too much work) and it would make even less sense for him to corrupt 1.5. But theoretically, he could corrupt them all at once through the use of a good deal of a highly concentrated love poison. Using his chaotic abilities, he could probably manufacture a large amount of love poison to taint the government’s water supply without a cinch. He wouldn’t even need to seduce the ponies at all; they would just do it to each other. And the ensuing madness that would result of the ponies getting caught up in their lust would surely ensure a quick and bloodless rise to power and the complete destruction of order and authority in the capital. Plus the novelty factor for him was probably enormous. So it seemed that after all, the great mysteries behind the factors that prompted the end of this era fell within the unexplored and unappreciated realm of orgy territory again.

So the government of the Equinus Republic didn’t fall within one hundred days. It probably fell within an hour. Or perhaps a few hours. It really depends on the stamina of those old geezers; the data of which, unfortunately, was never documented. While there is no concrete proof supporting my bold and daring claim, the corresponding nature of the Hearts and Hooves legend with history is evidence enough, and the use of a love poison would make far more sense for Discord than the supposed “Disorder of a Hundred Days”, at least logically and time-wise.

But why would Celestia choose to hide the truth from us? Other than the fact that she’s been doing it for centuries now and probably just gets off to it, there are many factors behind this falsification of history.

1.	It would have been a danger to the general populace.

With this point, I’m not referring to the danger that the truth would hold for the regime, but rather the moral and mental danger. I don’t believe I need to cover why the current government would not want a resurgence of the orgy craze after the events ten years ago, and besides, I believe that it’s the mental scarring that would be far more detrimental to a pony’s wellbeing. After all, what sick, twisted pony would want to have a mental image of 150 wrinkly old ponies doing it with each other? I mean, I would, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. And besides, for most normal ponies, bleach isn’t always able to wash away what can’t be unseen.

2.	It would have been a danger to the government.

Now I’ll address the danger that the truth would hold for the regime. But still probably not in the way you’re thinking of. No, the real danger instead lies if one’s mind was to place a mental block on that image and replace those ancient ponies from Parliament with some younger, more attractive looking ponies. If ponies were to make the connection that democracy => sexy orgies, they would totally go for it, or at least pay bits for it. And with that, suddenly the idea of democracy becomes far more appealing (at least to the general populace), and ponies would clamor for an increase in democratic reforms again and demand the fall of the monarchy; the exact situation that Celestia fabricated history in the first place to avoid.

Getting back to my main point, with the government now falling into absolute chaos, the infrastructure, the system, and the structure of Equestria were all crippled. With this, the Pre-Classical Era and the Equinus Republic died here, not with a whimper, but with a bang. Several of them probably. And with its end, the glorious republic had been replaced with a tyrant. The Age of Discord had now begun.