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// Dungeonnssss and Hopefully no Dragonsss 
// Story: A Marty Stu invades the Multiverse (Chess Game of the Gods) 
// by Keairan 
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	I woke up the next morning with no hangover, my habit of drinking an excessive amount of water along with whatever alcohol I was drinking serving me well, along with no memory of the night before. Alright, pay the innkeeper whatever I still owe them, and then gateway back to the barrow. As I put on my armor, I noted that for a play on old-school Vegas, this room was fairly normal. I walked down the hallway, observing how that it wouldn't have been out of place on my Terra save for the gas lighting.

I walked down to the lobby, handed over the bits needed to pay for my room and alcohol, and grabbed onto the source. I went into an alleyway and opened a small skimming gateway, and slithered in, closing it behind me, willing the platform to head towards the barrow. I contemplated what I would find as I would search. Will I find a simple grave, or perhaps a mausoleum full of traps for an unwary tomb robber. Only time will tell. I shook my head and waited for the end of my ride.





I emerged onto a hillock near where Ivan and Catastrophe had been reunited. I know the stereotype about crazy chicks and how good they are in bed, but there's crazy, and then there's CRAZY. I maneuvered over to where I had found the worn placard, and began to feel around with flows of earth, trying to find an entrance and figure out how big this complex was.

I was astounded by what I found. "What the unholy fuck!? This thing is that! Big!? How!?" I sat down in my coils. "Channeling from dusk till dawn something of this size and complexity would take me at least a solid month! And for what, the son of one famous unicorn!?" I slumped for a moment, and then straightened back up. "I guess there's no helping it, time to go search about fifteen klicks worth of halls." I then headed over to a bit of stone that looked like it had been placed there to bury the place. I grabbed at it with a few flows of air, earth and fire, and reconstructed it into a doorway that led into the tunnels beneath.

"Once more unto the breach." I quoted before entering. I noticed that there was no light within the tunnel, any spells or contraptions useful for keeping the place lit long having since faded. Every seven or so meters I would channel a small ball of light and tie it off, illuminating my progress as well as setting up an easy way to retrace my path.

I came across what looked to be a few holes in the wall, about two-thirds of a meter off of the ground. I quickly wove and tied off a wall of air in front of the holes and moved forward, hearing a few satisfying clunks as tiny darts hit and disintegrated  upon impact with the wall. I don't think the ones who engineered this tomb's defenses anticipated anything like me. I stopped for a moment. Then again, it's kinda hard to anticipate what kind of tomb robber you're going to have to deal with.  I stopped at a four-way intersection, and began to look down each hall. I marked the path I came with a small sign of light saying exit on it, then tied it off. I then turned left, and put a one on the entrance to my left, a two on the middle path, and a three on the rightmost path. I then proceeded down the left hallway, continuing to put up balls of light as I went.

I entered into a small room, dimly lit by a few spells and took in the room before me. I saw a closed door at the other end and a bunch of random bones on the floor. There were also four shelves set in a triangular pattern in the middle of the room, the point of the triangle pointing towards the door. Oh goody, a puzzle. I sarcastically thought as I began to walk about the room, looking for a clue as to what I would need to open the door.

As I looked, I saw one of the bones shiver out of the corner of my eye. I instantly focused on it, and tried to break it with a flow of air. "A random bone moving? If I'm not dealing with some sort of skeleton coming back together then I'm going to be very surprised." I was more than slightly surprised when my weave evaporated. "Huh, that's new." I tried to grab the bone to break over my knee, when it jerked away and became part of one of four skeletal beasts.

I took in the skeletal beasts quickly, noting what species they came off of. "Huh. Looks like someone cobbled an alicorn together out of dead pony bones. That one's definitely a diamond dog. That's almost surely a gryphon skeleton. That last one? A canid with wings? The hell?" As I finished commenting on these new creatures' construction they all turned their empty skulls towards me. "And you're going to all attack me now, aren't you?"

As if in answer, they all charged me at once, all three of the skeletons with wings taking to the air. Further proof that magic is cheating. Somewhere, a physics professor is crying and he does not know why. I wove a few fireballs, and tossed one at all three of my airborne opponents, ignoring the charging diamond dog. Once again, all three of my weaves were dissolved by the bones of these creatures. I ducked underneath the flying critters, grabbing my helmet from its hook, locking it into place on my head right as the diamond dog skeleton tried to claw at my armor.

I gritted my teeth at the sound of the noise of bone being worn away on my right cuendillar pauldron, and grabbed the arm with my left gauntlet, and pulled it across my front, snapping the dried bone of the left humerus with a palm strike from my right gauntlet. Sharp bone, but so brittle with age that I could probably break them with a few thrown rocks. I then proceeded to punch the diamond dog's sternum, shattering it like a dried twig.

I was about to destroy the skull, when I noticed that it had a red square on it. That might be important. I thought to myself, before merely pulling the skull from the skeleton, watching as the rest of it shattered on the ground. I tossed the skull to my tail, and used it to gently set the skull on the ground before turning my attention to the creatures in the air.

The curious winged canid rushed at my side like it was going to try and rake open my flank, and the squeal of bone on heartstone and the sound of said bone snapping echoed through the chamber. It flies pretty damn fast, but is as fragile as its counterpart. I can definitely work with this if the others work on similar principles.

The other two skeletons seemed to be content to hover in mid-air, watching my motions. I wove fire and earth at a part of the floor, melting it to the point with which I could pick it up in a cocoon of air. I managed to spatter both the 'alicorn' and the canid with some of it, melting away a few of their ribs.

While the other two were still shrugging off the molten rock I had just thrown on them, the gryphon chose that moment to slash its bony talons across my exposed tail, eliciting an "ow" out of me. I turned around, and hit its wing with my saber, breaking it off. I brought my saber to a quick two guard, and then sprang forward like the snake that I was, taking the gryphon's head off with a single stroke on its feeble neck. I caught the now free head with my off hand before putting it on the floor, turning to face my two remaining enemies.

The canid came back in, and began a zig-zag motion as it came at me. I came to a six guard, and waited till it was right on me, and slashed at its side, nicking its bony paw.

While this was happening, the alicorn grabbed the wing of its downed ally, and began to swing at my head and neck with the appendage. Little fragments of bone began to break off, getting everywhere. I retaliated by smacking the brittle bone with my hand, destroying it, then throwing my saber at the alicorn. I caught my saber in a flow of air, and used it to simply lop off the skeleton's head, sending the entire construct crashing to the floor. The head survived the impact with only a crack going down the middle.

Now able to finally focus on the canid, which was hovering above me and a little to my right, I tried the same trick with my saber, flinging it in my grip of air at the skeleton, and imbedding it into the ceiling. I facepalmed at my miss, and then prepared to try and take it out with just my own body. 

Whatever intelligence the creature once had was clearly gone, as it started a straight-line path for me, teeth bared and bony fore-paws outstretched. I waited until it was almost on me, and then grabbed its neck, and pulled. The head came off, and the body fell apart nigh-instantly. I took a breath, then started to work on figuring out the puzzle.

"Alright, there are four heads and four shelves. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that the correct combination of heads on the shelves is going to open the door. Might as well start putting the heads on the shelves and go from there." I put the alicorn head at the front point, and the canid head at the middle of the triangle. The gryphon head put on the left point and the diamond dog head on the right. I heard a single click, and watched as the alicorn head shelf descended into the floor. "I'll just assume that one was right, and start to maneuver these last three about."

I tried putting the gryphon head in the middle, the canid head on the left, and the diamond dog head on the right. All three shelves followed their predecessor into the floor. "Huh. Lucky guess. I'm just glad I didn't have to test all the possible combinations for this puzzle. That would have taken a good thirty minutes at least." The door opened with a little mechanical difficulty, reveling the next room.

I walked through, only to find a dark dead-end. I channeled a ball of light, illuminating the small room and a small chest. I opened the chest, and pulled out a small ruby carved into the shape of a unicorn's horn. I put the ruby in my pocket, and began to retrace my steps towards the four-way intersection.

Reaching the intersection, I went down the left hall, which turned left and then right, blocked by a double door with two recessions above the loop door-handles. I closely examined the recessions, and noted that the right one was in the shape of a unicorns horn, whereas the other was the shape of a stylized wing. "I'm guessing that I'll find a stone carved in the shape of a wing down that last passageway. It'd fit the cliche dungeon vibe I've gotten from this place so far." I did an about face, and continued back to the intersection.

Going down the final path, I came across a simple metal door after slithering a decent ways. I opened it up noisily, and began to go in. I lazily went about it, and depressed a stone with one of my coils. The door shut rapidly behind me, and cut off six inches of my tail with the pressure of it closing mixed with the sharpness of its edges. I hissed at the pain of losing a part of myself, and began to prepare a fire weave to cauterize the now gushing stump. "Yeah, this is going to hurt. Also is probably going to make me a little hungry and woozy." I channeled a small wall of fire next to the end of my tail, and pushed them together. I grunted loudly and broke out into a sweat as my tail sizzled, the smell of meat cooking filling the room.

I heard a squeak, and looked up from taking care of my tail, and noticed that the room seemed slightly smaller. As I watched, the walls on either side of the door crept closer together. I rolled my eyes, and reached out with flows of earth, looking for the machinery that was driving the walls towards me. I used a simple combination of earth and air to break the linkages going to the walls. Letting go of that weave, I noticed that the walls that had been coming together had a couple of really nasty stains on them. "Obviously, this place has had a couple of attempted thieves before."

I began to search around the room after I bandaged up my cauterized stump, and found that I could push the walls back with little effort now that the pushing linkages had been broken. As I finished pushing the left wall all the way back I found another door which opened easily into another small room. I illuminated it, and found another small chest. I opened it up, and found a topaz carved into the shape of a wing. "Obviously, this goes into the other recession." I stated, and then went back the way I had come.

I tracked my way back to the double doors and put both stones into their respective sockets, and heard a click from the door. I pushed it open, and saw a long, dark hallways from the light of my orbs. "Oh goody, A long, dark spooky hallway. Oh well, nothing to help it but go down the hall." I continued my current habit of putting up balls of light every now and again as I went on down the hallway.

I spotted an odd depression in the floor right underneath a similarly odd protrusion that looked kinda like a hinge. I channeled both earth and air, and began to look for a trigger for the obvious trap. I found it after a little bit of searching, and set it off. I watched as the floor fell open along with the hinged ceiling opening up and raining down what appeared to be several tons of sand into the pit beneath. I coughed at the dust that it kicked up, and watched as the sand started to slowly go down as the floor hinge attempted to close itself with the sand keeping the halves from moving. I melted a couple of different caution signs into the floor in front of and on the other side of the trap, and then crossed over on the edges of the pit.

I continued walking, and was curious when the hallway suddenly narrowed. "Trap ahead, or I'm not a troper." I soon after that spotted a metal wire that reflected the bluish light of my channeled globes across the floor at about pony fetlock height. I gently but firmly pulled on the wire with a flow of air, and was not surprised when I heard the whine of rusty metal and saw a few pendulum blades begin to quickly swing across the hall. "I wonder if I should break these -whoops." I stated when I saw one of the blades shear off it's wooden haft. "I think trying to just stop it from swinging would cause these to break all the same. Break all of them I shall." With that, I channeled a minor weave of fire at each haft, and felt a flicker of amusement go across the void as I watched each haft go up like they had been dipped in oil. 

I continued on, keeping a sharp if sarcastic eye out, my slightly wounded coils propelling me across the ground at a decently ground-eating pace. I saw a path branch off to the left up ahead, and decided to go down it, traversing a small bronze line in the floor that went across the entire hallway. I heard a few rats squeaking and kept on going, the hallway eventually opening up into a much larger room.

In that room, I spotted an interesting creature, it seemed like it was asleep or dead, it's multifarious arms and too many fingers folded up oddly, as if the creature was in state. The rat I heard before ran over to the creature, and began to sniff at it as if it was considering the creature as a meal. The creature's horribly blood-shot eyes snapped open, and out a too-many fingered hand shot to grab the rat, which squeaked once, twice, and then let out a horrific cry that I had not known that a rat could make. I watched in fascinated horror as the rat dissolved into a gelatinous goop which the creature began to stuff into its finger-toothed maw.

I waited until the creature had finished its horrific meal before making a noise of my own, putting up a wall of air between myself and the creature. "Hello there, can you help me?" I stated as companionably as I could through the emotion deadening property of the void.

The creature hissed and rushed towards my barrier wall and began to beat on it, the bones of its dozens of arms and fingers cracking like they were breaking with each movement of the beast. I winced at a particularly powerful hit by the creature onto my barrier of air that caused the hand and arm to snap into a horrific break.

"It's obvious that you are unintelligent, and if allowed to be free could cause a great deal of harm to those around you. I do this to protect, not out of malice or sadism. Farewell, you unique creature." I channeled multiple weaves of fire and air around the creature, and started a firestorm around its body, incinerating it. As it burned, it screamed and thrashed, each scream piercing the air and making me wince. I turned up the heat again and again, the odd resistance the undead creature had to my flames allowing it time to scream horribly again and again before it finally succumbed to the heat of the firestorm I had created and turned into a pile of ashy bones. 

"I apologize for not making your death faster, creature. I suppose that I should have stuck to the axiom of there being no kill like overkill." I began to search the room, and noticed that some of the stonework did not quite match up with the rest of the stone around it. I walked over to it, prepared to channel it open, one way or another, when I discovered that it wasn't quite real when my hand went through the stone. "Huh, a still functioning illusion. Impressive magic work for it to have lasted this long." I walked through the illusion, exposing a small hallway going towards another shut door.

I opened up the door, and walked inside, taking in the room I had just entered. I spotted three platforms, one of them depressed with five metal weights in it, another a pitcher and several cups of various sizes on it, and a mirror image of the platform with the weights in it. I began to look at the cups and noticed that the pitcher was full of mercury. I picked up one of the weights, got a feel for the weight, and swapped all five of the weights to the other platform. That platform went down a ways, and I got inspired. I pushed down on the now empty platform with my hand until I heard a clicking sound from the door. I grabbed the door handle with a flow of air, pulled it open, and then wedged it open with a few flows of air. I lifted my hand off of the platform, and smiled in cold satisfaction when the door didn't close.

I walked into the small room and opened the small chest within. I pulled out a decent sized piece of jade that had been carved into the likeness of a dragon's head. I put it in pocket in my pack, and turned around and headed back the way I had come. I reached the intersection that this pathway had T-d off from, turned left, and began to walk.





I spotted a door at the end of a hallway, and felt a flicker of excitement across the void. I sped up, careless of the floor and walls around me. As I ran, I felt the floor depress underneath me.

I ducked and covered my head. Shit! I thought to myself, waiting for whatever pain was going to come my way. I heard a whooshing noise and felt gusts of air through the gaps in my armor. I opened my eyes, and noticed that all there was was a few sparks and a few spouts that were emitting the sound of air being moved. I chuckled in nervous relief that I had avoided some burns only by virtue of the traps age and more luck than I was used to.

I regained my composure quickly, and began to walk up to the door, watching my surroundings much more closely. I pulled the jade dragon's head out of my pouch and put it into the socket on the door, and was pleased to see it unlock and slide open revealing an oddly still-lit generously spacious room. A room that was occupied by something very interesting.

The room's current occupant's jeweled eyes brightened, and the rest of the creature began to stretch. I looked up and took in the massive skeletal dragon in the room. I asked "Hey there, how ya doin?"

The dragon looked at me, and then laid back down with what I would call confused body language, seeing as how it's hard for a skeletal creature to have expressions. It opened its mouth and began to speak in a gravelly, hissing tone. "Why have you come here, creature of Tirek the Destroyer?"

"I am only Tirek's in that the name of species bares his name. I do not belong to the Equisian god of evil by any stretch of the imagination." I cracked my neck. "As for why I am here, I am here to take a small artifact that I believe is here. It will help me bypass the onus of my species. It is known as the clover of Clover the Clever."

The dragon sighed out a column of air that pushed hard against my frame. "You have come to the right place, little mortal. Clover's carved emerald is in the box upon the dais. However, I cannot allow you to take it. I have been bound to guard it and body of her son, Alfalfa the Wise."

"Then we are at an impasse. I need that item, but I have no interest Alfalfa's remains. Would your binding allow me to restrain you and only take the emerald?" I had no interest in destroying this guardian who was only wanting to fulfill his duty.

"The bonds on my soul would compel me to seek out the stone and the one who took it to the very edges of Equis. Partly to return the item, and partly to kill the thief. I realize that my answer is not the one you were looking for." The dragon's body language put off a sad and depressed resignation to his duty to kill all who would take from this tomb.

"You are correct, your answer is not the one I was looking for. I assume that the way to break the bond on your soul would require killing you." The dragon nodded. "Would you like for me to free you?"

The dragon nodded again. "I would defend myself, but I would thank you with my dieing thought. I am tired of this existence, a slave set to guard the tomb of a unicorn that has surely been forgotten by time. I only ask that you remember my name to Temeraire the Scholar. Tell him that I, Nanshilai, am finally free from my bondage."

I brought myself to my full height. "I, The Marty Stu, do swear upon my real name that I shall carry word of your fate to Temeraire the Scholar if he yet lives of the final fate of Nanshilai the dragon." I drew my saber, and saluted Nanshilai.

"Thank you, titled one. I shall sing your praises in the afterlife." He drew himself up to a fighting position, and then lashed out with one of his claws.

I caught it in a flow of air, smiled sadly up at him, and then blew his skull apart with another flow of air. I watched on in detached sadness as an honorable creature finally died, the magics connecting all of his bones together disintegrating. I walked over to the dais, pulled out the emerald carved in the shape of a clover, and began to learn the area.





I opened a gateway out of the barrow and tied it off. I then began the arduous process of taking Nanshilai's bones through the gateway, closing it behind myself when done. I channeled fire as hot as I could safely make it in the atmosphere, and watched as his bones melted into ash, mixing in with the soil of the cliff overlooking the ocean. "I commend your remains to the air, the earth and the waters of Equis, Nanshilai, guardian of Alfalfa the Wise's remains. May your spirit find peace in the hereafter. Farewell." I turned around, opened up a portal into Tel'aran'rhiod, and began to look for Oponn.





"So you have finally found the first artifact. Very good." The Lord stated.

"So I did, Oponn, so I did. Do you have any leads on the other five artifacts that I'll need to find?" I asked calmly.

The Lord answered me again. "There is a species of cat-man that lives to the south of Equestria, reaching all the way south into the lands of what we believe is known as Saddle Arabia. They might be suitable for finding a source for bad luck."

"Another place to look is the shrine of Hurricane, or any other ancient hero of this realm. A horseshoe from one of them would work excellently." intoned the Lady.

"Other things that would imply bad luck would also work. A famous mirror broken, perhaps. A representation of a screech owl might also work." The Lord replied.

The Lady thought for a moment. "Other famous symbols of good luck would be workable options. A coin found heads-up at the bottom of a natural well, for instance."

"I will research and ponder the things you have told me. I must bid you farewell, as I am exhausted." I stated, yawning. "I'm going back into the real world." I turned around, signaled that I was incoming at Violet's house, and opened a portal from Tel'aran'rhiod to the real world. I slithered into the room, and closed the gateway behind me.

I felt a pair of hooves reach around my upper body and heard a soft voice in my ear. "You worry me when you don't check in like this, Marty. Oh, and your tail is hurt, too. What am I going to do with you?" She admonished me, gently.

"Right now? Let me get some willow bark tea and sleep like a brick. I'm exhausted, but I will tell you all that I did in the morning." I had noticed that it was after nightfall when I looked out the window.

Violet chuckled lightly, and nodded her head. "Alright, we'll talk about it in the morning."