Our story continues in Canterlot. Twilight and her friends have brought Epic Story, the visitor from another world, to meet Princess Celestia. As they walk into Celestia's chambers, Princess Luna walks past them.
"Princess Celestia is waiting for you" Luna says.
"Thank you" I say, trying to be respectful.
We walk into the room and see Princess Celestia on her throne.
"Welcome everyone!" Princess Celestia says in a greeting manner. "And a very special welcome to our guest, Mr...."
"Epic Story, ma'am." I respond.
"Well Epic, I hope you enjoy your stay in Equestria." She says. "Also, I'd like to thank you and your 'friend in the sky' for saving Ponyville from that Deadpool character."
"It was no problem." I say. "Now, since I'm going to be here for an unknown period of time, I was wondering something. Is there by any chance a blacksmith in Ponyville?"
"Actually, there hasn't been a blacksmith in Ponyville for a couple years." Applejack says.
"Great!" I say. "I've been wanting to see what that profession was like for a personal project of mine."
"Well, what do you know about being a blacksmith?" Rarity asks.
"Not a d-d-d-darn thing." I say. "Wait...what the h-h-h-heck?"
"What's wrong?" Twilight asks.
"I don't know. I'll check on that later." I say. "For now, I'll work on my blacksmith knowledge. Hey, Barry, give a knowledge infusing thought bubble, journeyman level blacksmith."
Immediately, a pencil draws a thought bubble above my head. It fills my mind with knowledge of blacksmith tools, forges, techniques and all sorts of things. It takes a few moments to full download, but after it is finished, the bubble disappears.
"Well, that takes care of that." I say as I crack my neck as if I did actual work. "Now, to address that other issue. F-f-f-freak!...S-s-s-shoot!...D-d-d-dock......WHY CAN'T I SWEAR!"
After I yelled, a pencil drew a note in front of my face.
“What does it say?” Spike asks.
"'The show is G-Rated. No more swearing. Trol-lol-lol!'" I read aloud. "That doesn't make any sense! Everypony here heard me swea...what did I just say?"
"You said, 'The show is G-Rated. No more swearing. Trol-lol-lol!'" Pinkie Pie repeated.
"Not that!" I yelled. "Why did I just say 'everypony' when I meant everyb-b-b-pony...WHHHHHY?!"
Once more, a note is drawn in my face.
"'When I turned you into a pony,'" I read aloud. "'I adjusted your grammar. Enjoy the pony-speak. Semicolon P.'"
"What is..." Twilight begins to ask.
For a brief moment, an eraser removes my face and writes in the emoticon ;P on my face, erases it, and draws my face again.
"I am slowly beginning to hate life." I say. "If I have to deal with speaking like this the whole time, I'm gonna..."
I'm interrupted by a massive thunder blast. All of us rush to the nearest window to see what has happened. While there is no one on the ground, in the sky, something that doesn't belong has appeared. For a moment, we are all speechless until Pinkie Pie asks...
"Why is there a letter 'H' in the sky?"
A grin slowly grows across my face.
“Life is starting to get good again!” I said happily.
=========================================================
Moments before on Pandora, in Opportunity, Handsome Jack is watching a live video feed of the Vault Hunters leaving the Southern Shelf.
“Oh man, I can’t wait for these idiots to meet Wilhelm.” He says eagerly. “It is the biggest troll move I've ever come up wi…”
His monologue is interrupted by a thundering boom.
“What the hell was that?!” He yells. “Angel, where are we hit?!”
“We weren't hit!” Angel responds. “I've detected a wormhole near the Hyperion moon-base.”
“A fucking wormhole?! What kind of shit is this?” He asks frantically. “Who opened it? Was it those fucking Vault Hunters?”
“It seems to be a random occurrence.” She reports. “But my sensors are picking up an intense energy from the other side.”
“‘Intense energy’,” Says Jack. “How intense?”
“Enough to make a Sirens powers look like crap.” She says.
“Well...that sounds like something I should have.” He says with a smirk on his face. “Angel, fire up the teleporter and let the moon-base know that as soon as I’m on board, we’re going through the portal.”
“What?!” She asks with genuine shock. “You can’t be serious?”
“If what’s on the other side of that wormhole is strong enough to wipe those bandits off the face of Pandora,” He says. “Then I’m very serious. See you when I get back, pumpkin.”
=========================================================
Back in Canterlot...
“What is that thing?!” Princess Celestia.
“That’s the moon-base,” I answer. “Owned and operated by Handsome Jack of the Hyperion Corporation. But that thing should be orbiting the planet Pandora.”
“How did that terrifying thing get here?” Fluttershy asks.
“Do you want the long version, the short version, or the mind exploding meta version?” I ask in response.
“Uhh……” Everypony says in unison.
“Ok, here is all three.” I say. “Long version: the first couple of wormholes destabilized the dimensional barriers surrounding this universe, allowing for random wormholes to link other universes with this one. Short version: Deadpool is so awesome, that when he went through the wormhole with the equally awesome Derpy Hooves, he broke the universe. Meta version: plot device.”
The moment I said ‘plot device’, only Pinkie Pie’s head exploded and before Barry could draw it back on, her head popped out of her body.
“Sorry, I spaced out for a moment.” Pinkie Pie said. “What was that last version?”
“Never mind.” I say. “Now, lets think, why would Handsome Jack be here?”
“Well, what did he want in his own universe?” Princess Celestia asks.
I take a moment to ponder on that thought. Handsome Jack wanted power and lots of it. Power……it hits me like lightning.
“He’s looking for the Elements of Harmony!” I yell. “He is gonna take them, return to his universe and take it over!”
“Then we have to stop him.” Twilight says.
“And his army of kill bots.” I correct her.
“Army?” Spike says in a worried voice.
“Bots?” Rainbow Dash says in an eager voice.
“Kill?” Fluttershy says in a scared voice.
“Of?!!!” Pinkie Pie exclaims.
“Epic, was there anyone who could defend against this army?” Princess Celestia asks.
“Yup.” I respond.
“How many were there?” Rarity asks. “A hundred? Two? Three?”
“About eight or so.” I say.
“Over eight hundred?!” Applejack yells.
“Actually, just eight.” I corrected. “I added the ‘or so’ to include me, Barry, and whoever else that wanted to help.”
“How can eight ponies stand up to an entire army?” Spike asks.
“They aren't just ponies.” I say. “They’re Vault Hunters. Individuals driven by riches and glory. They each had a special talent that made each of them formidable alone. And when they worked together, they were virtually unstoppable.”
“Oh!” Pinkie Pie shrieks. “Are you gonna give us powers like you did when we fought Deadpools army of skeletons? When we were all like ‘Pew, Pow, Whap, Bap, Bam, Boom, Ka-Pow, Ker-Splat’?”
“Yup.” I say.
“But, there are only six of us.” Twilight says. “Seven if you include Spike this time.”
Spike gets an eager look on his face.
“While I do plan to include Spike in this fight,” I say giving Spike a confirming nod. “Excluding me, we need a total of ten ponies. Spike will be the eleventh in our crew. Princess Celestia, would you and your sister care to join us this time?”
“I would be proud to fight alongside you all,” She said while bowing her head. “And I’m sure Princess Luna will join as well.”
Princess Celestia’s confirmation made the others excited.
“Well, that makes nine.” I say. “We need two more. Yo, Barry! Can we get some internet favorites here? And get Princess Luna while you're at it!”
A pencil draws Vinyl Scratch, Octavia, and Luna in the middle of the room.
“Woah!” Vinyl says angrily. “I was in the middle of a gig man!”
“And I was in a practice session at the concert hall!” Octavia adds.
“What is the meaning of this?” Luna asks.
“Not important right now!” I say as I point to the moon-base.
While Octavia and Luna are stunned, Vinyl smirks.
“Round two?” She asks.
“Round two.” I repeat.
“Targets?”
“Army of death dealing robots.”
“Sweet! New duds?”
“And new toys.”
“Bass version for me?”
“Yup.”
“Deal.”
“Wicked!” I say approvingly. “Barry, Code BL2-2012v.5/14/2013 with mods! And give Vinyl Gaige with Bass lasers on Deathtrap!”
With lightning speed, a pencil adds on the features of Borderlands characters. Celestia becomes Lilith, Luna becomes Maya, Rarity becomes Roland, Pinkie Pie becomes Krieg, Twilight becomes Mordecai, Rainbow Dash becomes Axton, Fluttershy becomes Zer0, Applejack becomes Brick, Octavia becomes Salvador, and finally, Vinyl becomes Gaige. While everypony is admiring their new looks, Spike waits eagerly to so who he gets turned into. I take a moment to decide what to give him and in the end, the choice is clear.
“Barry, give Spike the CL4P-TP look.” I say.
“Am I gonna be a robot?!” Spike asks energetically.
“Something like that…”
It takes a moment before a pencil changes Spike into Claptrap with a purple and green color palette.
“Wow.” Spike says in a robot like voice. “This is cool...what are my powers?!”
“You can open doors and make bad dubstep.” I say.
“There is no such thing as bad…” Vinyl starts.
Then Spike bursts into a dubstep loop by going ‘wub wub wub’ over and over.
“Never mind...uh, bro, we have a problem.” Vinyl says.
“What is i…” I start until I see the problem.
The floor is littered with guns. No pony has fingers or hands to hold their guns, much less fire them.
“Barry, Futurama based robot hands, please.” I say.
A pencil immediately adds robot hands hanging around every ponies neck. For a moment, they are inactive. Then, the robot hands grab the guns and field strip them.
“Ok, that takes care of that.” I say. “Now, what for me...?”
I take a long moment to think about what I’d want to use to fight with. After a few more moments, with few other ideas, I settle on one.
“Barry!” I yell. “Give me Steve the Bandit!”
=========================================================
A few miles outside of Ponyville, Handsome Jack is gathering his army of Loaders and Engineers to invade Ponyville.
“Alright guys, here’s the deal,” Handsome Jack says. “My readings tell me that on in this universe, there are six powerful energy signatures in one place. Problem is, we don’t know how well they’re defended. Our first step, is to go into this town, torture everyone in it, get the location, get the source of the energy signatures. Then, we leave, kick bandit ass, rule the world, and be awesome! Anyone who doesn't understand that, shoot yourself in the face.”
About five or six loaders proceed to shoot themselves in the face.
“Good job!” He responds. “Now, based on how ‘pretty’ this place looks, we should face very little resistan...what the hell is that?”
Standing on the edge of town are the Pony Vault Hunters. I move forward to give a speech to moralize our rag tag team of gunslingers. What I planned to say was grand, eloquent, and guaranteed to put us all in a courageous mood to defeat our foes! What comes out is just as good.
“Heyooooooooooooo!” I yell while raising an rpg in the air.
And, in that single, inspiring ‘Heyooooooooooooo’, the Pony Vault Hunters charge towards Handsome Jack and his forces.
“I don’t know what surprises me more,” Handsome Jack says to himself. “The dozen or so ponies coming this way, the fact that they look like the Vault Hunters, or the idea that Butt Stallion might have been born here. In any case, get ‘em boys!”
On his order, the Hyperion forces charge towards the Pony Vault Hunters while Handsome Jack himself stays behind.. Immediately, Twilight and Vinyl unleash Bloodwing and Deathtrap. While Bloodwing divebombs multiple enemies at once, Deathtrap fires a Bass laser from his eye, which causes the Loaders to breakdance before exploding. Celestia and Luna unleash their new Siren powers, causing the Engineers to disintegrate and spontaneously combust. Pinkie Pie and Applejack run around, beating everyone to a bloody pulp. While Fluttershy distracts enemies with her hologram clone, she starts slicing them in half. Rarity and Rainbow Dash deploy their turrets and Octavia gunzereks to keep the stragglers at bay. While I blow up loaders with my RPG, Spike offers...moral supporting dubstep. The battle rages for thirty minutes before the piles of dead bodies and broken Loaders distresses Jack.
“Ok, this doesn't seem worth the number of lackeys I've thrown at them.” He says to himself again. “Tactical retreat boys!...Boys?”
It takes Handsome Jack a moment to look around the pile of corpses to realize that he is all alone, except for the Pony Vault Hunters, who all have guns pointed at him. Then, suddenly, a new wormhole opens near the moon-base. Jack looks at the wormhole, then back at the ponies.
“Heyo.” I say in a deep, threatening voice.
“‘Nuff said.” Jack replies as he hits a button on his wrist and is teleported away.
Moments after Jack leaves, the moon-base moves into the new wormhole.
With Handsome Jack gone, Barry erases the Vault Hunter details from the ponies, who are now celebrating their victory.
“Well done everypony.” Celestia says to the other ponies. “It looks like we won’t be seeing him anytime soon.”
“Yes,” I say. “But he won’t be the last visitor we meet. But we’ll be ready when they do.”
“Hey, now that we don’t have to worry about an attack for now,” Twilight says. “I was wondering, where is Epic going to stay while he’s here?”
“Good question,” I respond. “Barry, can you make me a house in Ponyville? It’ll need a starter forge but, if you can, leave a solid amount of space in the back so I can build a better one myself.”
“Wait, if he can build you a whole house,” Rainbow Dash says. “Why not have him make your forge too?”
“Some things,” I say. “You just have to do with your own h-h-h-hooves…*sigh*...just make my house, Barry.”
_____ proceeds to draw Epic's house in an empty space in Ponyville, also leaving a spot for him to build his forge.
“Thanks bro!” I yell.
“No more talk!” Pinkie Pie demands. “Let’s Party!”
The day ends with everypony partying at Sugarcube Corner.
=========================================================
Back on Pandora, Jack returns from the MLP universe.
"Jack, what happened?" Angel asks. "Did you find the source? Did you bring it?"
"Short version: I got my ass handed to me by the Vault Hunters in the form of ponies on the same world I think Butt Stallion is from." Jack said.
"Well...that's...fucked." Angel said.
"Hey!" He said. "Language, young lady!"
"Sorry."
"Now, where are the real Vault Hunters?"
"They're just about to get off their boat and land in Three Horns."
"Great, I didn't miss my total troll surprise!"
//////The End//////
Chapter Three: MLP meets Skyrim!