Snips' Clips Barbershop

by AtomicMuffin

Sweet Apple Honey

"I wasn't around mahself, but this is what happened accordin' to AJ and Applebloom."

The Apples had been farm ponies for more generations than most ponies could keep track of. With that job comes a kind of dignity and pride. It also comes with the uncanny ability to wake up long before the sun.

The sky was just starting to show a hint of pink when Applebloom pitched her latest project. She just had to convince her sister and Big Macintosh to let her build it. She laid out her case like a skilled buisinessmare.

"If we have our own bees, then we won't need'ta depend on the folks in town durin' important times when we need honey."

"Hold on there, Applebloom," Applejack interjected, "What makes ya think we need'ta worry about a honey shortage anyway?"

"Ah just want to be prepared. Remember how ya needed'ta borrow some from Pinkie Pie fer the family reunion? What if nopony had any ta spare? We couldn't have an Apple family reunion without fritters!"

"I guess ya have a point there," Applejack conceded.

"And this way, we can be nice ta the bees all year long. Granny Smith told me that happy bees make the best honey. I'm sure it'll make some darn good zap apple jam. Don'tcha think so, Granny?"

The family matriarch continued to snore peacefully in her rocking chair. Applebloom returned her attention to her siblings.

"Besides, if we make enough, then we can sell it in town with the apples. With the Sweet Apple Acres name behind it, Ah'm sure it'll take off faster than Rainbow Dash durin' one of Twilight's lectures."

Applejack and Big Macintosh shared a look, then Big Mac smiled at his youngest sister. "Ah don't rightly know about this, AB. Do ya reckon yer up'ta the task?" Applebloom nodded vigorously.

"Alright then, ya can set up in the south field on the outskirts of the orchard. The apple trees should be bloomin' soon and it'll be far enough away from them pesky fruit bats in the west orchard. If ya need any help, ask me or- oof!" Mac never got to finish his sentence as Applebloom tackled him into a tight hug. It wasn't enough to knock him over, but it was still enough to knock some breath out of him. Mac was reminded of how much she had grown, and her enthusiasms reminded him of the young filly she used to be. One who was always coming up with all kinds of crazy schemes.

"Ah won't let ya down, big brother! You either, big sis!" And with that she trotted out of the family home, rushing into the barn to retrieve her tool belt and supplies.

Applejack looked back at Big Mac, "Ya think we did the right thing?"

"Eeyup."

Applebloom cantered happily to the site her brother had indicated. She stopped the heavy cart she was hauling under the shade of a large Apple tree. Surveying the area before her, she thought to herself, This place is perfect! Good thing Ah already drew up the blueprints. She pulled out the hoof written designs and went to work on her new project.

In what felt like no time at all, three fully formed apiaries stood proudly among the apple trees. The design was simple but effective. It was a four tiered box with layers designed with screens inside for the drones to build their honeycomb. The outside covering had slits for the bees to escape and collect pollen and nectar from the surrounding trees. All things considered, Applebloom was proud of her work. Of course, there was one small flaw in her otherwise brilliant plan.

"Where the hay am Ah supposed to get bees?" she shouted to the empty air. She went through her mental checklist. Step 1: Design apiary. Check. Step 2: Convince family. Check. Step 3: Uhhh. Step 4: Profit. She face-hoofed at the glaring mistake. She had no clue where to find bees, much less how to transport them or make them stay. The only thing she did know was that she would need lots of protective gear, which luckily she did have.

"There has gotta be somepony who can help me." Her face lit up as an idea struck her. "The library! Twilight probly knows what ta do." With that thought in her head, she trotted off down the path to visit Golden Oaks Library.

*Ding ding*

Big Mac paused as the shop door opened. Snips clipped an errant strand of Mac's mane and turned to greet his customer. A purple and green dragon closed the door, whistling a tune that Snips couldn't place. He called out, "Spike! My main dragon! Get over here!"

Dragons are mysterious creatures. Most of them were big and had terrible tempers, but Spike never had that problem. Whether it was because of his pony upbringing or because dragons mature differently, Spike never got to be as large as others of his species. Over the years, Spike had lost his baby fat and grown into a gangly young adult dragon. He now stood slightly taller than the average pony. The only other notable difference was the set of leathery wings that sprouted from his back. With the moment of nostalgia aside, the two childhood friends came together to share a brohoof.

But this was no ordinary brohoof. This was a brohoof that can only happen between a bro and his dragon-bro. It was an epic work of art. As hoof and claw connected, time slowed down to respect their epicness. Angels descended from the heavens above to weep at the beauty that was to occur. Their appendages connected, and the resounding crash reverberated to the very core of the planet. The force of their awesomeness sent them both reeling backward as a miniature galaxy materialized in the space they previously occupied. Just as quickly, the galaxy swirled in upon itself, creating a black hole, and with a quick "PUFF" it vanished from existence.

At least that's how it looked in their minds. Big Mac just sat there, looking at them as if they both suddenly fell from the sky. With a short cough, Snips excused himself and continued working on Big Mac. "So what brings you here today, Spike. Need your spines filed down a bit?"

"You know it! How's it going, Big Mac?"

"Howdy, Spike. I was just tellin' Snips about Applebloom's honey business."

"Oh yeah? I was wondering how that turned out."

Mac cringed again, then said, "Maybe ya can help me with the next part, considerin' ya were there at the time."

Spike perched precariously on the ladder leaning up against a shelf. He stood on tip-claws reaching out to shelve a series of large tomes balanced carefully on his tail.

Applebloom slammed open the library door and called, "Twilight! Are ya home?"

The force of her entrance was enough to make Spike jump in surprise. He crashed to the floor in a flailing mass of limbs and books. With a groan he pulled himself up and brushed the dust off his scales. Applebloom walked gingerly to the now standing dragon.

"Are ya okay, Spike? That was a pretty nasty fall."

"I'm fine. Did you say you were looking for Twilight?"

"Eeyup."

Finding nothing bruised or broken, Spike's good humor returned and he chuckled at the traditional response given by all members of the Apple family. "Well, you just missed her. She left this morning to take care of some princess business in Canterlot. Anything I can help you with? I am Twilight's number one assistant after all."

Applebloom thought about it for a moment, but couldn't think of any reason not to ask Spike for help.

"Ah'm tryin'ta start keepin' bees on the farm. Ah thought it would be good to harvest our own honey. Ah already built the apiary, but now Ah need'ta get the bees. Do ya know where I can find'um? More importantly, do ya know how Ah'm suppose'ta move 'um?"

"Well that's simple enough." Spike plucked a book from the shelf and opened it to display a diagram of a beehive. Pointing to a segment Spike continued, "The best way to relocate bees is to capture a queen. If she is moved to an unoccupied hive, the drones and workers will follow her and start over. This section is called the brooding chamber. This is where the queen lays her eggs. You could catch her in there while she's laying."

"Sounds a mite hard to me."

"Hey, I said it was simple not easy."

"But how can Ah tell which one is the queen?"

"She's usually bigger. Not to mention that the other bees will start attacking you if you try to touch her."

"Now that Ah know how to do it, where am Ah gonna find a hive to move? How about the one y'all have outside?"

Spike took a step back in fear and shook his head. "Oh no! Not those! They've been absorbing Twilight's magic for so long that they're kind of... unpredictable. Last time they stung Snowflake and turned him into a mare. It took three days before Twilight could change him back. Not to mention their honey tastes terrible."

Applebloom hung her head, but then she remembered another pony she could ask. Giving Spike a quick peck on the cheek, she walked out the door and headed for Fluttershy's cottage.

"SHE DID WHAT?!" Bic Mac roared. He sat up so fast that Snips almost clipped off a patch of fur instead. Spike looked like he could sink into the floor under the stallion's gaze. Even though Spike was almost as tall as the massive farm pony, he was nowhere near matching his girth and raw muscle.

Snips called soothingly, "Calm down, Mac. I'm sure she was just thanking him for his help. We all know that Applebloom is too sweet to get herself into anything inappropriate. Don't we, Spike?"

"Yeah, what he said!" Spike squeaked. He was now curled up under a bench, trying in vain to hide from the wrathful gaze of Big Macintosh.

Grumbling slightly, Mac reclined in the barber's chair once again and continued, "So anyway..."

Applebloom trotted down the path leading to Fluttershy's cottage. Seeing the bees buzzing merrily in their hive renewed her enthusiasm and with it her optimism as well. She knocked on the front door and waited for Fluttershy to answer. Soon the door opened to reveal the butter yellow pegasus.

"Hello, Applebloom. Is there anything I can help you with?"

Applebloom beamed at the pegasus. After so many years, her sister's friends had come to be like part of the family. Each of them felt like cousins to her. Except for Pinkie, who was actually their cousin... somehow.

"Fluttershy, Ah was wonderin' if ya could help me move some bees into our new apiary on the farm. Problem is, Ah don't know where'ta find a good hive."

Fluttershy paused for a moment, holding a hoof to her chin in thought. Pensively she said, "I do know one hive in Whitetail Wood. The bees are very friendly and I think they wanted to move somewhere with more flowers. I can go with you and talk to them, if you like."

Applebloom hopped in place a few times and cheered, "That would be perfect! Much better than what Spike said."

Giggling quietly, Fluttershy beckoned for Applebloom to follow and they made their way to Whitetail Wood.

The proud trees were grandly displaying their new canopy of spring leaves. As Fluttershy and Applebloom walked down the path usually used for the Running of the Leaves, Fluttershy abruptly changed course and walked over to a large maple tree. A massive beehive hung from one of its large branches, but there was no sign of life. With a look of concern, Fluttershy took to her wings and flew up level with the hive.

She whispered, "Um, hello? Is anyone in here? It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you."

She heard a faint buzz as a single bee made its way out of the hive. It landed on her nose and started to dance around on its six legs. She relayed the message to Applebloom.

"Oh, that's awful! The queen says that some of the worker drones haven't woken up from hibernation. She says that it takes so long to gather nectar because there are no flowers around. If they can't gather enough food, then the workers won't ever wake up."

"Ask her if they wanna move over'ta Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Did you hear that, your Majesty? My friend here has a new home for you and your hive. With plenty of flowers for you to enjoy. Would you like that?"

The queen buzzed excitedly and shook her abdomen wildly. Fluttershy translated, "She says she would love to! We just have to make sure that the hive makes it there safely. She also warned me that some of the drones would be cranky if they woke up without breakfast. So we need to be especially careful."

"Sounds good'ta me! Can ya cut the hive and lower it ta the ground?"

Fluttershy gently gripped the hive and tried to pry it from the tree. With a sharp "crack" the hive broke off from the branch; however, Fluttershy flipped backwards due to the sudden lack of resistance and the hive flew out of her hooves.

Applebloom's eyes narrowed to pinpricks as she watched the hive fall to the ground. With agility that she didn't even know she had, the young mare ran through the trees and dove after the hive. She caught it and tucked it to her chest, her back skidded along the forest floor before she ground to a stop. Fluttershy gasped as she hovered down to Applebloom.

"Ow." Applebloom gently shifted the still intact hive and managed to stand on three legs. She had some bruises on her back, but was otherwise uninjured. The queen bee, still perched on Fluttershy's nose, swiped two legs across her face as if wiping away a nervous sweat.

"Come on Fluttershy, we need'ta get these bees ta their new home."

The pegasus grinned as they followed the path out of the woods and towards the farm.

The pair made it to the edge of the woods without incident, but apparently it was too much to hope that their luck would hold out. Lounging around at the edge of the woods was a massive black bear. He eyed the ponies walking by with disinterest. He turned to walk back into the woods when he noticed a certain round object nestled into the crook of the younger mare's foreleg. His stomach rumbled expectantly. He did just finish hibernating not long ago. It had been so long, he only vaguely remembered what honey tasted like. Luckily, that vague memory was all he needed. His eyes glazed over and his mind was set on one goal and one goal only. He would snag that hive and drain every last morsel of honey.

He charged out of the woods at the mares, but the yellow pegasus started flying straight towards him. Taken aback, he slowed to a halt as the flying pony touched down in front of him.

"Hello there, Mr. Bear. I know that you must be hungry after your nap, but could you please leave those poor bees alone? They aren't feeling very well right now and my friend and I are trying to help them. If you want, I saw some yummy looking berries back down the path." She pointed her hoof in the direction she had come from.

His first instinct was to listen to this pony. In fact, he even felt sorry for those poor bees. But he couldn't turn back. He had made up his mind, so there was no going back. Besides, what kind of she-bear would want to share a cave with a wishy-washy little cub who couldn't follow through on his decisions?

The bear roared viciously at the mare, which caused her to turn and run back towards her companion. She screamed, "Run, Applebloom!" and the young mare galloped off as quickly as she could with only three legs. The bear ambled after them as quickly as his bulk would allow, and the whole time the pegasus was pleading with him over her shoulder.

"Please, Mr. Bear! Please leave these poor bees alone! We can find you some different honey!"

He roared again, eliciting a squeak from the pegasus. Fluttershy caught up to Applebloom. With tears in her eyes she cried, "He won't listen to me. I don't know what to do." Applebloom's only response was to run faster with Fluttershy following close behind.

Soon they made it onto the farm. The ponies galloped through the gated entrance while the single-minded bear simply plowed through the wooden fence. Boards and splinters flew in all directions from the impact, but the furry juggernaut continued to pursue his quarry. His paws tore huge gashes in the earth and shattered baskets scattered around the bases of several trees. Nothing would keep him from his meal!

As the barn loomed into view, Applebloom was struck with an idea. She ran through the door with the angry bear close behind. She ran straight to the back of the barn and bit down on a rope dangling from the ceiling. She kicked with a hind leg and connected with a lever stuck on the wall. The counterweight dropped and the rope was pulled through a pulley. She rocketed off the ground and was shot directly into the second story hay loft where she landed on her back in a large pile of hay. Fluttershy flew up to the loft after her.

It was then that she noticed a loud humming coming from the hive. Apparently the bees were not happy about the chase. Thinking quickly, Applebloom started humming a lullaby that her sister used to sing to her when she was a little filly. The buzzing died down and the hive was still once more.

Frustrated by the young mare's escape, the bear took his frustration out on the equipment neatly placed in the barn. He ravaged the barrels of cider set away for special occasions. Then he crumpled Big Mac's plow under his powerful paws. Using his massive jaws, he broke every gardening instrument he could find. Soon the floor was littered with broken hoes, rakes, and shovels. In a last act of defiance, he charged through the back wall of the barn, leaving a massive hole. Satisfied that his vengeance had been exacted, he walked back the way he had come, leaving Sweet Apple Acres behind him. The berries that the nice pegasus mentioned were starting to sound good anyway.

With a sigh of relief, Fluttershy and Applebloom pulled themselves out of the hay. Applebloom opened the hatch in the wall, which led outside. This time she would take the ladder. As her hooves touched the ground, Fluttershy landed next to her young friend.

"I'm sorry for the way he was acting. I'm going to have to have a serious talk with Mr. Bear about his rude behavior."

"Wasn't yer fault, Fluttershy. At least the bees are sa-"

Thunk!

The hive slipped from Applebloom's grasp. The excitement had left her sweaty and her grip was slick. The mares only had a moment to look at each other in horror before a veritable cloud of bees emerged from the hive. The queen had been exaggerating. These bees weren't cranky, they were murderous. If there was any question of their intent, the swarm altered their flying so that the cloud shaped in the likeness of a skull-and-crossed-bones. Fluttershy flew off in terror as Applebloom fled to the only refuge she had. Directly into the farmhouse.

Tearing through the house, she ran up the stairs. She wracked her brain to think of any possible thing that would save her. Then she remembered the reason that the swarm was so angry. They were just hungry. Too bad she remembered that too late. The only way down to the kitchen was through the swarm. She rushed through the hallway and grabbed a vase full of flowers off of a low table. The bees stopped in their pursuit and the cloud shifted yet again. This time it looked like a dog begging for a treat. It even wagged its tail.

Throwing the flowers into a nearby room, the swarm chased the flowers and she bolted back down the stairs. The swarm finished the flowers quickly and were hot on her tail once again. Applebloom charged straight to the pantry, slamming the door behind her. She fumbled around in the dark as the swarm pounded against the door. "Found it," she cried, lifting a large glass jar in her hoof. With a terrified gulp, she kicked open the door and threw the jar against the far wall, splattering the thick honey all over it. Several bees forced their way into the pantry, but they left as soon as the honey started running down the wall. Without hesitation, Applebloom bolted from the house. This time, she wasn't pursued.

She didn't stop until she was leaning up against the side of the barn. She was panting heavily. Applejack and Big Macintosh came sprinting out of the orchard and skidded to a halt in front of Applebloom.

"Applebloom! What in tarnation is goin' on here!" Applejack yelled angrily.

Applebloom was afraid of angering her sister further, but she knew lying would only make things worse.

"AH was just workin' with the bees."

"Then where the heck are they?"

Applebloom flushed furiously in shame, "In the house."

"And where is Granny Smith?"

The three siblings exchanged a look and shot over to the window. Peering in, they saw Granny Smith dozing in her rocking chair. Several dozen bees clustered around her head like a comically large beard and hat. Even an angry swarm of bees couldn't bring themselves to hurt the kindly Apple matriarch.

"So that's what happened. Took another coupla days ta get Miss Fluttershy ta convince the bees to move. They're nice an' settled now. Never found that bear, but it's gonna take some time ta fix the barn." A single tear sparkled at the corner of Mac's eye."An' mah poor plow will never be the same."

Spike spoke up from his bench, "Huh, sounds like everything worked out. Do you think the bees are gonna produce any honey?"

Big Mac smiled. "Eeyup."

"And....done!" Snips proclaimed. Using his magic, he whipped the barber's cape from Mac and used a quick spell to blow all the loose hair off of the massive stallion.

"Much obliged, Snips."

"My pleasure, Big Mac. Let's call it five bits."

"Let's make it eight. Ya do good work." Pulling out a drawstring bag, he hoofed over the money and headed to the door.

"Take care, Snips." Then he stopped to glare at Spike. He growled, "Ah'm watchin' you," then walked out the door. As it closed, all that could be heard was the soft tinkling of the bell.

Spike let out the breath he was holding and slumped back as if all the bones had been removed from his body. Snips couldn't help but roll on the floor laughing. He laughed so much his sides hurt and tears sprung to his eyes. After a full minute, he wiped the tears from his eyes and waved a hoof at his friend.

"You're up next, buddy. But I have to ask, is there anything between you and Applebloom?"

Spike leaped into the chair and waved a claw nonchalantly. "Nah. She's cute and all, but neither of us really feel that way."

"Are you trying to sweep some other mare off her hooves?" Not many mares had bothered to give Spike a chance because of the species difference. If they weren't such good friends, Snips probably wouldn't blame them either. Poor Spike had struck out more times than most ponies could count. Sadly, Spike remembered every single one.

"Actually, you won't believe this, but I did meet somepony the last time I was in Canterlot. We had a great time, and I can't wait to go back and see her again."

"And she doesn't mind that you're a dragon?"

"She's more receptive to it that other ponies. Then again, she has known me longer than most of the mares I've asked out."

Snips threw a special leaded blacksmith's apron around the dragon. A regular barber's cape wouldn't survive the punishing maintenance that dragon spines required. Snips ducked into the supply closet and returned with a power grinder and a welder's mask. He put on a pair of thick gloves and another apron as he asked, "If that's the case, then I probably know her. We both grew up in Ponyville, so if she's known you a long time, chances are I know her too."

Spike's scales flushed red at his friends deduction. He gestured Snips closer. In a whisper he said, "Keep this between us, okay." Snips nodded solemnly and Spike continued, "It's Sweetie Belle."

Snips reeled as if he had been shot. He flapped his mouth open like a fish gasping for water, but no words came out. Finally he managed to blurt out, "SWEETIE BE-" But Spike clamped his muzzle shut with strong claws.

Looking exasperated, Spike sighed, "What did I just say?"

When Spike released him, Snips lowered his voice, but the shock never left it. "But SWEETIE BELLE! As in your first crushes younger sister? Dude, how did this happen?"

"If you get to work, I'll tell you. Kind of the reason I came after all. I want to look nice for our next date."

"NEXT date!"

"Just start grinding and I'll tell you."

"Alright, alright." Snips flipped on the welder's mask and proceeded to grind down the plumed spines on his friend's head. Sparks flew from the point of contact. They had long ago worked out a style that suited Spike, and he had done it enough times that he could do it with his eyes closed. For some reason, even against the whirring of the grinder, the dragon's thick spines made very little noise.

"Anyway, Twilight took me to Canterlot last week. I thought it was going to be boring, but it turns out I couldn't have been more wrong..."