“My word, Sparkle!” I ejaculated. “It’s all so obvious!”
I watched as the greatest detective in Her Majesty’s service rose from the body and adjusted her deerstalker cap with a flourish. “So you see,” she continued, “the occult ritual is simply a smokescreen: this Ripper killer is targeting witnesses to the plot. He couldn’t know who she told, thus he went after her friends and associates as well. But he has slipped up and I have the scent! Come Rarity! The game’s afoot!”
So saying she made for the door, a feverish light in her eyes that frankly alarmed me. I was no stranger to the manic moods that would seize hold of my friend when she was working a case, her obsessive nature providing a rush and focus superior to that provided by the vile solution in her syringe, but this case had filled her with a fire that put even that to shame. I recognized well the passion that had filled her voice as she had sworn to see justice done for the poor evening mares of Whitechapel, and inwardly I dreaded but that she had placed herself upon a collision course with a terrible and deadly adversary.
I have remarked more than once on how strange it is that the more direly important an investigation the more likely it is that it will necessitate a visit to a burlesque club, a bordello or both. Once again my companion proved the truth of this observation, for we soon found ourselves in a parlor filled with mares dancing in various states of undress. Upon arriving my companion approached the bar and conducted a hurried conversation with its tender in whispers that I could not hear over the din of the room and the shouts of the patrons who filled it. Afterwards she deposited a handful of bits on the counter and made her way to a table in the front, motioning for me to follow. I did so, though I felt most uncomfortable.
“Really Miss Sparkle, if the neighbors could see me…”
She cut me off with a gesture. As she did the lights dimmed to near total opacity. I was staring into the blackness towards the stage waiting for my eyes to adjust when a cacophony of sound and light assaulted my senses. A tower of sparks and explosions erupted from the center of the stage, and when they died down a blue mare in a spangled outfit stood in their place.
“Ladies and gentlemares,” she began in an obnoxiously arrogant tone, “today on this stage you shall behold feats hitherto unwitnessed by Equestrian eyes! The Great and Powerful Trixie has traveled far and wide, from the mountain peaks of the griffon monks of Lahaysa to the celestial empire of Xiaomaguo, and now she has brought the wonders of their secret performance arts back for your inspection!”
Another burst of fireworks punctuated her words. By the light they cast I stole a look back at my companion and saw that she alone was not looking at the silver-maned mare of ill repute but was rather inspecting the rear of the establishment. I followed her gaze to find a large, hooded figure wrapped in shadows at a table in the corner. She started to rise from her seat, presumably intending to make her way across the room while all eyes were fixed on the showmare, when suddenly the brazen hussy gestured in our direction and a spotlight appeared out of nowhere and affixed itself to my friend. She gritted her teeth and turned to face the stage, clearly displeased by this turn of events.
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has need of a volunteer from the audience! Step on stage and-“
Suddenly Sparkle’s horn flared with magenta light and the spotlight darted across the stage to transfix the figure I had spotted earlier, who had just started to rise himself. The hood fell away to reveal a white unicorn stallion with a blonde mane.
“Prince Blueblood!” I exclaimed.
“Stop that colt!” my companion cried. “In the name of the princess!”
Back towards the entrance I noticed that the bartender had assembled some stout-looking ponies to block any escape. Cursing, Blueblood charged up his own horn and suddenly furniture began flying across the room as he darted towards the stage. I ducked, but my friend’s quick wits proved equal to the task of deflecting the barrage. Our assailant leapt from table to table, veering off towards the dressing room beside the stage as my friend tried to slow his progress.
“Stop him!” my friend repeated. “If he reaches the last witness, war is assured!”
Together we vaulted onto the stage and galloped after him. When we caught up to him he had unsheathed a large knife and was hurriedly searching the room full of screaming mares for his quarry. His eyes narrowed as he apparently found his quarry. Just as he let the weapon fly something purple flashed across the room and suddenly my companion’s walking stick was transposed against the knife, blocking the stab. Blueblood withdrew the blade and turned to face us with a sneer.
“You’re too late!” he said, stroking his long mustache. “Already Mariarty is making her way to Parliament with the device! Soon I will be the ruler of all Equestria and you its most wanted criminal!”
My companion said nothing, refusing to rise to the bait, but rather focused her full attention on her quarry’s movements and those of his weapon. After several tense seconds he snorted and lunged forward. With a quick, deft maneuver my friend slipped the stick past the knife and rapped Blueblood hard on the horn, disrupting his magical grip and sending the knife clattering to the floor. She followed up with a quick sweep to the legs that sent him sprawling. She then proceeded to beat him unmercifully, ignoring his pathetic whines of protest, until finally his battered form fell insensate to the floor.
--
Something hard rapped on the door to the boutique. A knock. Rarity raised her head, closed the text file and made her way over to open it. With a winning smile she declared, “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is ch—oh, hello Twilight. What brings you here today?”
Twilight was practically skipping with excitement. “Rarity, I need a favor.”
“Why certainly dear, whatever can I do for you?”
Twilight proceeded to clap her forehooves together, clearly giddy at what she was about to say. “I need you to help me pick an outfit for this Friday. Rainbow Dash asked me out on a date!”
Rarity’s smile froze into a rictus grin.
--
“And there, deep within that dreadful caldron of swirling water and seething foam, will lie for all time the most dangerous criminal and foremost champion of law of our generation.”