“I hope it’s too your liking.” Cadence said sheepishly, she hadn’t exactly worked out the kings in the castle as she had with the rest of the homes in her empire. She did take the recent hour to explain to Kazooie about how the Crystal Empire came to appear in the north, it’s only been a month since these ponies have been out of being sealed for a thousand years.
Oddly enough they spoke and wrote the same language as everyone else even as a thousand year old culture and when Kazooie pointed it out, Cadence said that they created the language all ponies tended to use nowadays… as well as griffons and some diamond dogs.
“Its fine, I only need about a closet space worth of room to sleep in anyway. You really should work on this should you get any visiting dignitaries, so start remodeling and soon. Your kingdom could use some work.” Kazooie noticed the pensive looking on Cadences face. “Also I think indoor plumbing should be a priority. Do I have to call Mario to see a toilet around here? I can’t make toilet jokes without them.”
“I’m still working on inventory of what my king… empire has and the stuff we can manufacture that’s unique to us for trade to other nations. We don’t exactly have the money for that quite yet.” Cadence sighed out, how come Kazooie wasn’t suddenly stuck with all this stuff as she seems to know what Cadence should be doing.
“Does the kingdom have a currency system yet? Also where have you been going to the bathroom at?” Not knowing where Kazooie was going with this Cadence nodded and held up a bit, but didn’t look forthcoming about where’s she’s been going to the bathroom as she just blushed. “Good, can I quickly get a license to sell goods here or do you just need to give me a decree to sell stuff?”
“You mean to sell stuff now? But It’s getting rather late in the evening. Also no, it’s an open market.” Cadence sat there blankly as Kazooie threw a hoof around and smiled at her.
“I have my reasons; do you think that flashy explosion didn’t attract attention from sunny delight herself? Because goodness knows I don’t predict she’ll send the elements of harmony immediately to this kingdom to investigate the cause of the spell I used and wouldn’t want to be around when they arrive.” Kazooie was now staring at the ceiling and she slowly drew her sight to Cadence whose ears wilted. Ah yes, the anonymity she had promised Kazooie. “I’ll be back later, maybe at dinner. Have to recover my health points somehow. Oh and uh, I’ll find you if they decide to stay the night.”
“What are you going to be selling if I may be so bold to ask?” Cadence received her answer in the form of blue ice cream. Taking the proffered ice cream into her magic and gave it a lick and hummed. It tasted sweet and salty; it was a perfect blend of ice cream for pony consumption. “What is this? It tastes great!”
“It’s sea salt ice cream. I’ll be selling random desserts and food to your people, just point me to where the market is… also that will be four bits.” Kazooie watched as Cadence simply levitated four bits to her from somewhere and she quickly deposited them into her ever present backpack. After a moment Kazooie was led to a balcony and Cadence with the ice cream still in her mouth, pointed out the market area to her. “Thank you, have fun explaining this to them when they arrive which will be any minute now given the chariot in the distance.”
Looking into the distance Cadence indeed saw a chariot coming towards the castle and went to prepare for it; she paused and looked around seeing that Kazooie has already disappeared. Hopefully she knew to stay out of the way if she didn’t want to draw attention to herself, well much more attention then she had already garnered with her powerful spell. How does a being even learn to cast a spell like that? One that was selectively damaging and could kill in an instant and yet Kazooie didn’t do that to the changelings despite the very big chance she had to wipe them out.
Kazooie landed on the ground with a loud thud startling some crystal ponies after a moment they managed to slow their heart rates down. Once they realized who it was, they just gave Kazooie a slight bow and polite nod for her earlier assistance.
Shrugging in indifference Kazooie made her way to the market place to set up her own stand, even if it was getting late she knew that these ponies didn’t seem to have much and a bit of flavor in their lives might help them. She was told by Cadence that they were given a bit of futuristic money to work with and that their treasury was kind of small at the moment mostly measured in jewels and gems. Considering it was the ‘Crystal’ kingdom it made sense to Kazooie that this would be their main source of currency, from what she learned the last time she was here dragons could literally eat this kingdom to the ground. Well the treasury was small, until Kazooie’s generous donation to it without telling anyone first. They’d find out eventually and isn’t that what ‘random’ allies were for? They really needed working bathrooms and quick.
Once she was in the market place Kazooie saw that she had plenty of time and after looking at the surrounding stalls of the small marketplace with only crystal ponies around, she was somewhat of a novelty of being the only non crystal pony here. She smiled as this was a good thing.
Nothing says curiosity like watching an alicorn set up her stand by just dropping it out of her backpack with a ‘for sale sign’ from the realm of Earthbound. The instant that sign was set up at her stall Kazooie noticed an increased interest at her stand by several crystal ponies. Kazooie was currently an alicorn princess and she just did something that made herself pretty noticeable.
“Um… excuse me, but what are you selling here if I may be so bold.” A crystal pony stallion said after working up the courage to approach Kazooie.
“Food, magically protected for freshness, here’s a list of things I have on me that I’m selling at the moment. Welcome to my little fast food shop.” Pulling out a restaurant menu Kazooie sat down and waited.
“Hmmm… I’ll have a… is this pronounced taco?” The crystal pony said.
“Yeah, price is on the menu. That will be seven bits. Reason why it’s so expensive is that it comes with a special blend of hot sauce.” After the seven bits were on the table Kazooie passed the tofu taco wrapped up and ready to go.
It didn’t take a minute before there were eighteen bits on the table.
“I’ll take two double deckers.” The same pony from before said and walked off smiling with his two quick rice paper wrapped tacos.
Double deckers were double the fun with extra bean paste, fixings and a soft shelled taco glued to the outside with previous mentioned paste. It didn’t take long for another pony to brave her shop, soon she was selling burrito’s, nacho’s and even some of her other stuff was going too. Apparently crystal ponies liked Mexican food.
“Hey are you princess Cadence?” Turning to the stranger among all the shiny coated ponies Kazooie saw a pegasus pony in a pith helmet and a slightly ripped up green shirt. “Also isn’t it a little late to run a shop in the market?”
“No and the names Kazooie, did you miss the memo or my previous appearance in Canterlot?” Oh this was going to start so much fun, was one of Kazooie’s thoughts as she examined the pony in front of her. “Who are you the tooth fairy?”
“Nope, I’ve never heard of you before. I’ve been kind of busy escaping temples that are dead set on me dying. I’m Daring Do, how can you not have heard of me? Then again I haven’t heard of you either so we’re on common ground I guess, it’s actually refreshing to go somewhere I’m not asked for autographs immediately or attacked by one of my numerous enemies.” Daring held out a hoof and Kazooie shook it. “So what’s your princess shtick and what are you selling, I just flew in so I’m actually kind of hungry.”
“Adventure in all its glory including business adventures apparently, also you’ll get no free food from me if you’re some kind of celebrity or something pith head. Got bits, will deal.” Kazooie stated as she just held a menu up to Daring.
The adventuring pony just took the menu and started to read through.
“You know, you seem like my kind of patron princess, so got your own kingdom somewhere that I could visit or do you even have any subjects of your own?” Daring always thought a princess of the world would be at least guarded by four guards at all times and wouldn’t be seen sitting alone, in the most unguarded empire she’s ever seen. There wasn’t even a royal guard here as far as she could see.
“No and not yet at least, just selling food for right now in an unsuspicious manner as possible given my grand visage as you can see here. I don’t need subjects to hide behind like the other princesses nor do I actually care to own a kingdom, but I might have to start one regardless eventually. I would like to be friends though.” Kazooie was being rather flat and sarcastic with Daring Do as possible.
“You wouldn’t happen to know what caused that huge explosion around here right? Or were you here for that?” Daring asked out of interest as she continued to peruse the menu and the ingredients that went into each item on the menu.
“That was me, one too many bean and cheese burritos will do that to you too. Though I wouldn’t suggest eating those around here as there are hardly any outhouses or plumbing to speak of, it’s kind of boonies around here if you ask me for such a seemingly sparkling utopia.” Kazooie stated in a rather bland matter, at least in the evening it wasn’t as bright or blindly sparkling as it could have been.
“So… can I be one of your subjects?” Daring Do asked shyly causing Kazooie to look at her strangely; she quickly backed up herself up with a bit of reasoning. “I mean you seem kind of alone out here being the only pony that doesn’t sparkle like a diamond and you seem a bit rough around the edges, but I think you’re my kind of princess to follow around for a bit as adventuring is partly my special talent. I also have an exceedingly good sense of direction.”
“Whatever you feel like, have you made a decision yet?” Kazooie noticed she looked down at the menu again going through the second half of it.
“Maybe, so how does one exactly go about praising the Princess of Adventure itself? Do I just bow and scrap to you like those snooty nobles in Canterlot?” Daring Do stated with a sudden silly confident look in her eyes towards Kazooie.
“I meant the food, not you trying to become one of my subjects. Besides you’re holding up the line.” Kazooie didn’t think her voice could get more mundane sounding, seeing a few crystal ponies waiting behind the cliché of a hardcore adventurer she very well knew she could get along with just fine.
“Oh right, right… um… I’ll have a taco salad.” Daring Do said sheepishly rubbing the back of her head, before turning to apologize to the crystal ponies waiting in line.
“Is that for here or to go? I have a feeling that I’m not going to lose your interest in me any time soon.” Kazooie sighed out; she avoided one problem only to start another with a pony that was looking at her like she was the answer to all of said ponies’ problems. Technically she was, considering she was a walking adventure magnet itself and Daring Do apparently was a traveler looking for interesting things to happen.
“If I said here and that I would like to chat with you while you work?” Daring said wanting to get to know this knew alicorn a bit more, like where she came from and what exactly her title meant for the world at hoof. She could smell a grand adventure in the waiting, especially from even the most of mundane looking things. Like a princess running a food kiosk which was very mundane as many would point out, nor was the explosion she had admitted to causing.
“Fine…” Kazooie said knowing Daring Do’s type and that aggravating her only made her want to be around you more. Which is why Kazooie wasn’t trying any of her usual stunts to make her mad, she was the sort that liked a challenge and she was much like Kazooie herself with a nose for adventure even if the alicorn hadn’t done anything remotely exciting yet. Taking her backpack off Kazooie shook it twice. “Shake shake.”
Out of the backpack fell a table, a chair, a large metal plate and a loaded taco salad, again, with tofu as a meat substitute. All of it right next to her kiosk and from the small bag, Daring Do looked amazed at the feat.
“That’ll be twelve bits.” Kazooie held out a hoof after putting her backpack on. Daring pulled out the requisite amount and sat down wondering how she was supposed eat her salad. “You use the edges of the shell to eat the insides, after a while you may want to use this if it gets too messy for you.”
Kazooie pulled out a large novelty spork she might have gotten from ‘princess tomato and the salad kingdom’ realm and a wad of napkins.
“Thank you.” Daring Do quickly dove into her strange delicacy as delivered by the princess with the three cutie mark symbols. If there was one thing Daring Do could never get enough of, it was foreign food that she could actually consume and this was definitely going into her next novel.
Daring’s interest in the adventure princess was purely one of wanting to know the new alicorn on the block was like. Just meeting her doing something rather mundane for one so powerful was quite the novelty. There was also that certain air about her that things would be more interesting than Kazooie was currently presenting that drew Daring to her like a moth to a lit torch.
Meanwhile at the Crystal Empires castle meeting the arriving ponies and dragon, Cadence was smiling a bit forcefully before she started smiling for real as she met up with Twilight Sparkle.
“Sunshine sunshine lady bugs awake! Clap your hooves and do a little shake.” It didn’t seem like they were ever going to stop doing that, Cadence didn’t mind as she loved Twilight even now. In a little sister she never had kind of manner; if it started to go beyond that she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. She was in fact bisexual despite the fact that she married Shining; so far she hasn’t had a single inclination towards Twilight in loving her that way.
Cadence could admire other mares flanks, but she wasn’t going to touch given she’s already got someone to love. She wasn’t about to tell Shining that being the Princess of Love was a rather unique title that just couldn’t be given to a straight pony and had to be understood in all forms. Though said princess could do things as if she were straight without a problem, she has dated a mare or two growing up without Shining knowing about it. The worst thing about being a Princess of Love was that she understood incest, tough love and even false love which sickened her somewhat and just because she understood something didn’t mean she had to like it.
“Cadence, Shining you’re alright, what happened here?” Twilight nuzzled into Cadence lovingly almost like she always did with Celestia yet it felt different to her for some reason. She then moved over to her brother to give him a great big hug.
“Just a little problem with changelings Twily, it was nothing to really worry about.” Shining really didn’t want to talk about how he was upstaged by a different mare this time, it always seemed like either his sister or some other mare was saving the day and making the celestial guards look bad or incompetent. Well on a technicality they have been exceedingly incompetent as of late, including the Wonderbolts during that time Spike ran wild throughout Ponyville.
“Changelings, are you alright?” Twilight said a bit worriedly.
“We’re fine, they couldn’t transform in the Crystal Empire because of the Crystal Heart.” Shining had to admit what he was going to say was a bit of a lie, but his wife did wear the dress in their marriage after all. “It really wasn’t that much of a deal, we put up a shield around the castle and then… well you all saw that probably. Kind of like what happened to the changelings the first time. We freed up the ponies they caught at the train station after we were done repelling them.”
It took a moment, but someone finally realize that Cadence was halfway done with eating something.
“Hey, what’s that?” Pinkie asked suddenly excited at the prospect of seeing Cadence still working through her levitating ice cream.
“Oh this, it’s see salt ice cream.” Cadence wasn’t about to say where it came from.
“Sea salt, that doesn’t sound particularly delicious darling.” Rarity said studying the small bit of ice cream left.
“You’d be surprised, especially when trying something new.” Cadence stated as her tongue roamed the ice creams surface. “It’s not as salty as it looks.”
“I know what you mean Cady; I once made this thing called a chimi-cherry-changa. It was a wonderful experiment, but it could have used a bit less sugar. Kind of throws the flavor off, afterwards I got it right and it tasted awesome.” Pinkie was staring at the ice cream licking her lips, for some reason it seemed rather familiar to her. For the life of her, Pinkie couldn’t remember why this particular brand of ice cream would be familiar.
“Okay calm down, so how have your lives been?” Cadence asked redirecting the topic away from her ice cream or more importantly where she got it from. “And if I may ask, are you staying for the night?”
Now the story turns its attention to Chrysalis in the frozen wastes west of the empire, she was about to give her changelings some rather conflicting orders with their nature. Every changeling was accounted for and luckily none of them died and they were surprisingly pretty healthy, much healthier then they had been when they attacked. It had taken a while to get them all gathered here together like this.
“Okay, my changelings we’ve had a minor setback but at least the end results weren’t as bad as we could have hoped. It was just a horribly painful setback and I’ve had my wings burned off and grown back almost instantly, some of you are still walking off headaches and others are still dizzy.” Pausing Chrysalis took a moment to make sure she had all her loyal subjects’ attentions, she continued. “Even then, we’ll make a comeback by stalking the Princess of Adventure and getting revenge on her! However most of you will be seeking out those who’ve left us and join them to learn and be happy I’m only willing to take five of you with me.”
There were less than a hundred changelings left in her army from when she attacked the crystal empire and they all started clambering towards their queen raising their hooves in loyalty wanting to be picked to go with her. None of them wanted to be sent away, it warmed Chrysalis’s cold heart further but she was still going to do it. If the other changelings are living perfectly fine then she’d be doing them a favor by sending them away.
At least their species wouldn’t go extinct under her rule; she gave them the order to do whatever they felt like after they reached their brethren except hurting them or attacking anything blindly without reason.
Chrysalis paused starting to think that maybe that blow to her head had jarred something… this was before she had the most delightfully evil plan concerning her new revenge scheme. Looking at the changelings she chose, they were the five strongest changelings she had left. She wanted the weaker ones to have a chance to survive; despite what might be said about her, she wasn’t entirely heartless to her people.
The swarm had set off leaving behind five sad looking changelings waving goodbye to their brethren as they would continue on with their queen. They turned dutifully to their queen and waited for her command.
“We are going to first stalk the Princess of Adventure as soon as she leaves the empire, since she has to eventually, then we will find a time to strike!” Chrysalis slammed her hoof to the ground and her small team of changelings praising her despite the fact that she hadn’t done anything worthy of praise yet. Chrysalis sighed and patted them each on the head in turn and then marched off to watch the Crystal Empire for when Kazooie leaves.
Chrysalis would wait and bide her time.
“So you’re what’s it like being an alicorn?” Daring asked Kazooie as she started to just shove everything back into her backpack.
“It’s actually quite boring really. Not like I’m really the dress and tea kind of princess anyway, I’d rather beat the tar out something in a down and dirty bar brawl any day of the week. Heck the day you see me wearing a dress, which will be against my will if it ever happens, is the day I becomes someone’s worst nightmare.” Making sure she had everything put away, she start a slow walk towards the center of the empire. It was getting rather dark and Kazooie decided to actually get some sleep, she had two days to waste until the others come through the door. “I will be a princess only in so far as I’m willing to go with it, otherwise I’m just Kazooie a traveler who goes places and blows things up.”
“Yeah, I hear that… you wouldn’t happen to have any whiskey on you?” A bottle was proffered to her and Daring Do just stared at the backpack with a keen bit of interest as she took the offered drink and gave it a chug before hoofing it back. “Okay, how do you keep doing that?”
“It’s a magic backpack and only I or my brother can truly wield it, otherwise I can give and take away permission of its use no matter the distance and I always know where it is.” Kazooie leaned in to Daring’s face while taking a swig of whiskey before stashing it. ”So stealing it is out of the question because I will hunt you down if you try and you wouldn’t get very far, one is because I’m immortal even if I wasn’t currently an alicorn and two I’m immune to all poisons so trying to tranquilize or drug me will just make me angry.”
“Message received clearly.” Daring said seriously, she knew better then to get between an adventurer and their pack. It was a really cool if simple looking backpack that was probably loaded with all sorts of unimaginable things related to adventuring. “You have to admit that’s a uniquely useful thing to have on hoof at all times during an adventure.”
“It can carry an infinite amount of stuff, but it can only carry about one or two living things before it starts rejecting them entirely.” Kazooie was meandering back to the crystal castle and if she were correct a sleepover would be in progress, she may as well add Daring Do to her party as a guest character. “Also living things inside this backpack aren’t preserved like anything else in there is, but it does have slight regenerative properties if you sleep inside of it.”
“Okay, so how did you become a princess?” Daring really wanted to know the answer to this, it kind of bugged her ever since she heard of Princess Cadences ascendancy and the fact there was only one alicorn before that. Well technically two alicorns, but the other was on the moon and nobody knew the story was true at the time.
“Speaking of that subject, if anyone asks I was never here and don’t say or mention my name at all. There are some ponies nearby that might do something odd if alerted to my presence.” After making sure Daring understood her with a deep rooted stare, Kazooie decided to answer her question. “If you must know I’m not native to this world, I come from a different kind of place entirely and one of my abilities is physically becoming a different species or thing entirely on a basis of context of the world I’m currently in.”
“So you weren’t a pony before coming to Equestria? If that’s true then what are you really?” Daring just had to know more about the princess she figured deserved some form of patronage.
“I’m naturally a breeding seagull; my species have the special habit of knowing the perfect match between any two beings. It’s mostly abbreviated to breegull; my particular species is a red crested breegull. The red crested kind of our species loves violence, explosions, getting drunk, enjoying life to the fullest and most importantly traveling to really bizarre locals like this one.” Kazooie paused a short distance away from the castle and looked around slightly. “Excuse me, but I think it’s better that I change into something a little more inconspicuous then a winged unicorn that screams look at me to everyone within fifty miles of myself.”
Before Kazooie could utter the word to change back to her normal form, a shadow lunged at her body and disappeared into it knocking her to the ground where she just lay for a second. Daring didn’t know what had just entered Kazooie’s body; she just knew it couldn’t have been something pleasant.
After a moment Kazooie gasped opened her eyes and stood up, she snorted with her nose slightly and then sneezed up what looked like the biggest booger in the world made entirely out of darkness that took the form of a unicorn with a burning red horn.
“What happened?” Daring Do asked not sure whether or not she just believed what she just saw. Her princess just sneezed up a… wait, when did she start thinking of Kazooie as her princess? She knew she was considering it, but now she was just full blown accepting it? Shaking her head Daring looked to Kazooie as she was getting her bearings.
“Apparently this creature tried to take over my body in an attempt to take over the Crystal Kingdom. It tried to use my worst fear against me too… unfortunately for it my worst fear is killing it without any remorse. Good thing it was all in my head then because it would have died horribly otherwise. Those Psychonaut training courses may have been ridiculous, but they usually pay off eventually.” Daring had no clue what Kazooie was talking about and was even more confused when the alicorn reached into her backpack to pull out a red and white ball. “Well, can’t let this opportunity go to waste.”
Kazooie stood up on her two hind hooves and threw the ball so that it smacked into the out cold creatures horn. Then the shadow stallion turned into a red light and was drawn into the ball and it plopped to the ground to shake once, then a second time and after a third shake it made a dinging sound. Kazooie walked over to the ball and picked up raising it high in the air.
“Yes, I caught myself a Sombra! Hmm… I’ll name him Sombrero.” After a moment Kazooie shrugged and tucked the ball away in her backpack.
“Um… did that ball just capture a pony in it?” Daring Do asked nervously.
“Nope, those balls can only capture monsters. That thing wasn’t a pony at all; it apparently died a good thousand years ago by Luna and Celestia’s hooves. It’s interesting what you can learn by ripping some memories out of a monster. Now where were we? Oh right, akanammo!” A bright flash later and after Daring was finish shielding her eyes she beheld the true form of the princess, a red bird that looked like a big phoenix. “Now give me a minute to slip into something. Eekum Bokum Eekum Bokum, Oobodadoo, Oobodadoo…”
“So how’s the food, to your liking I hope? I’ve also got some Crystal Ponies setting up some rooms for all of you, are you going to be staying long tomorrow?” Cadence hoped she was being a good host to Twilight and her friends that Cadence had met at the wedding. Keeping a secret from her favorite foal sitting job was difficult, especially after she and her husband recently found a recent windfall in their treasury with noticeable note that said to get indoor plumbing.
If Cadence didn’t know any better she’d swear Sombra would come back from being destroyed and trying to ransack the Crystal King… Empire again after what happened not hours ago. Cadence wouldn’t put it past him after the changeling attack today.
Cadence was currently sitting at a table about to eat dinner with seven other ponies; she was of course next to Shining and beyond him was Rarity. Twilight was on her other side. Across the table from Cadence were Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash whom she noticed were apparently in love with one another. To their right was Pinkie and Applejack, both seemed to be pining after unrequited love.
Upon checking their connection Cadence was surprised to find that instead of a dinky little string binding them together it was a solid wall of red leading from Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy right to each other, it wasn’t even a rope as it was just that big a connection.
Cadence did notice some other connections in the room, her and Shining were as strong as ever. Twilight was still apparently oblivious to love, especially if her friends were obviously that bound together. Pinkie and Applejack had a small connection, but it was mostly friends that could evolve into something. Applejack was also apparently pining for Rarity; a pony that Cadence could tell was perfectly straight. Pinkie seemed to be pining for Applejack she couldn’t get a read on that strange mare. Then there was Spike and Rarity, Rarity’s connection was motherly affection. Spike on the other hand was a bit sadder; his was outright borderline blind love. It didn’t look like anything too bad was happening between any of them, but they were certainly tangled up with each other in one way or another.
“No I have to be getting back to Ponyville to continue my studies; I’m doing something with an apple soon but Celestia hasn’t exactly given me a clue as to what that is. We’ll be around in the morning though and probably catch the first train out.” Twilight stated before getting into the salad that was a special of the Crystal Empire for its vinaigrette that just couldn’t be found elsewhere. “Though I would like to come around here and poke through the Crystal Empire library, I just don’t have the time.”
“Okay then.” Cadence was glad that she wouldn’t have too much trouble keeping Kazooie a secret as that wasn’t too long at all.
A crystal pony entered the room and quickly got Cadence’s attention.
“Princess there is a guest that is asking if she can join you and your friends here, she says she’s not particularly hungry and is a friend of your friend.” It took all of her might for Cadence to not jump to a conclusion that it was Kazooie after hearing the crystal pony’s words.
“Okay, show her in.” Cadence said without pause.
A minute later the other ponies paused in their eating to stare at the arrival, Rainbow in particular had her face in the salad and just pulled it out and her wings perked up slightly in surprise alongside her ears at the sight. Pith helmet and tattered green shirt, raven mane and tail, a cutie mark of circle emphasizing the four cardinal directions. Rainbow’s jaw dropped.
“Hey there, I’m not very hungry so mind if I just grab some dessert when it comes to the table?” Daring said with a smile, she could just tell by the looks that some ponies didn’t know she was a real flesh and blood pony.
It happened from time to time, Daring was famous for her adventure novels and not as much for her actual adventures. It wasn’t hard to figure out why plenty of ponies tended to think her books were entirely fictional. Maybe there was an embellishment here or there, but her enemies were very real and as equally dangerous as their more comical book counterparts that she tones down. Daring was glad she hasn’t recently run afoul of them lately so she figured she was pretty safe here as was the bejeweled gold unicorn horn she still had on her person, as well as one of the most incredible things she’s ever seen under her pith helmet.
“Holy flap, you’re real!” Rainbow shouted while every other pony just stared on surprised by this turn of events.
“Rainbow, watch your language!” Fluttershy admonished causing the other pegasus to blush and look at Fluttershy like a kicked puppy.
“Sorry Fluttershy.” Rainbow whimpered out cutely. Sure she was a mega awesome cool pony, but Fluttershy had her whipped and she didn’t care that she was since she loved the snuggly mare.
“You wouldn’t believe how many times I get that reaction.” Daring said with a hint of humor in her voice. “My books are gold, but my job is worth more than that and what I do is priceless.”
“Um… excuse me, but what are you doing in the Crystal Empire miss Do?” Cadence was beginning to wonder who hadn’t seen that huge explosion of energy from miles off; at least it will make other beings thing twice about invading her empire. However if she were to guess the friend of a friend, well Cadence didn’t know anyone other than Kazooie who could have run into the explorer.
“I saw the bright flash and I’ve just finished crawling out a temple with this baby, I figured I could investigate considering I’m an archeologists and this is a thousand year old empire. If it was suddenly blasted to the ground I would have saved whatever was left and if it wasn’t I would have a look around and see the new local princess that runs this place.” All the ponies just stared at the golden bejeweled unicorn horn sculpture she pulled from her ripped shirt. “You have no idea what I had to go through to even get this, that temple was ridiculous about its rolling boulder traps like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve yet to lose my lucky pith helmet even after the last fifty near loses in that temple alone.”
“While I’m quite sure you have some amusing stories about your travels, would you like some dessert? Well technically it’s a snack, but it’s the best we have.” Cadence asked cheerfully as Daring pulled up a chair at the end of the table to her left.
The ponies were all introduce to the Crystal Empire’s most interesting snack item, crystal candy. Even Pinkie Pie was perplexed when she heard as much as saw the existence of the snack item in question; it was like a specially made sugar cube that was a bunch of crystals grown onto a stick. As far as Cadence explained it they only had three flavors so far, one of course was crystal berry.
“Ooh… neat, I have got to buy some of this and send them to my family back on the rock farm.” Pinkie’s tongue just roamed all over the solidified sugar crystals. “I’ll bet they’ll get a kick out this.”
“Speaking of buying, I was wondering if you would like a contract with the Apple Clan.” Applejack ever the pragmatist, she was really choosing a good time to do some business.
“You’re catering for my wedding was phenomenal so of course I would like to work out a contract with you!” Cadence jovially as she carefully kept an eye on Daring Do. It was surprising none of the ponies here asked who her friend of a friend was and Cadence was pretty sure it was Kazooie by this point.
The continuing discussions involved Rainbow and Twilight trying to get Daring’s autograph, Rarity mentioning that all the helmet hair Daring had must be dreadful and Pinkie going off on a singing tangent about crystal candy being quite oh so dandy.
Applejack was talking apples, which is her favorite things to do, Shining got to tell his sister about some of the stuff they were going to do to change the empire and Fluttershy was just happy to cuddle up to Rainbow Dash not needing to converse at all.
Soon they were all off to bed, with the exception of Daring who was taken aside by Cadence.
“Okay where is she?” Cadence said slowly and Daring simply answered by lifting her helmet off of her head to show a small bug like creature sitting atop her mane.
“Hey there, I’ll be back to normal tomorrow after they leave.” Cadence just stared at the little red and yellow bug with an equally small sized backpack adorning her back, even squeaky as the voice was she recognized it as being Kazooie’s.
“What did you turn into?” Cadence asked as Shining walked up and saw Kazooie’s termite form.
“A termite, what do I look like to you an ant?” The smaller then a pint sized termite said.
“How in the world did you do that to yourself?” Shining was actually showing concern for once.
“Hey, changelings don’t own monopoly board on shape shifting tendencies.” The termite said looking at Shining with a hint of spite. “Whereas they can disguise themselves as other pony like or close enough to pony like beings, I can physically become what I transform into.”
“So you’re a not very threatening termite to hide your presence? That’s pretty…” Before Shining could say it was smart the termite reared back and then let a huge blast of flame straight into his face leaving him slightly charred. “Okay, you’re a little more threatening than I thought and you’re really smart.”
“I say thank you to your shiny metal flank.” Kazooie insulted amiably causing Daring to snicker as she lowered the hat back over her head.
“Yeah, I’ll take the room you’re giving her. See you two tomorrow.” Daring waltzed off waving lazily back to them.
“I’m a little scared to learn if fire breathing termites naturally exist wherever Kazooie comes from now.” Shining said as Cadence wiped the black soot off his face with a towel and gave him a kiss on the cheek and then wiggled her rump at him as she made her way towards their room. Cadence even raised her tail slightly and Shining was at her side in a minute as she smiled at him coquettishly. “I really don’t like keeping things from my little sister, but I guess there’s a lot of stuff she doesn’t know about me because she’s too busy with her nose in a book. At least she has friends to drag her away from them.”
“Oh Shiny, do you have anything else to say?” Cadence asked while her wings fanned out completely and stiffened as she nuzzled him.
“Yes, it’s so nice to see her getting away from a library once in a while. I swear in the future she’s just going to visit the Crystal Empire to just get away from her friends so she can spend all her time in the library here.” A moment of looking melancholy Shining sighed slightly. “She wouldn’t be visiting for us in that case; it kind of makes me sad that she loves library’s more than me.”
“Oh come on Shiny, you know she room in her heart for books and you, you will always be her favorite brother forever… also you should be worrying about something else entirely.” The questioning look Cadence received from Shining Armor brought a smile to her face. She magically shoved Shining into the bed of their room and then pounced on him wings flaring out and horn glowing violently. Shining would be walking kind of funny the next morning.
The scene changes immediately to Kazooie and Daring, in the Crystal Empires guest room for the shape shifting bird and her newest, if slightly unwanted, companion.
“So you know the elements of harmony?” Daring asked as she set up a hammock.
“Yep and more specifically I know Pinkie Pie, I owe her a fight. It’s a good thing her Pinkie Sense doesn’t work specifically on me or she would have known I was there.” A sad look crossed the little insects face as she sat on the floor in front of Daring. “She really should drop her promise.”
“She’s the element of laughter right? What exactly did she promise you?” Daring was intrigued by this line of thought
“I really don’t feel like talking about it with you.” Skittering into the corner and slipping into her backpack like it was a sleeping bag Kazooie looked at Daring. “Now if you will excuse me, I’m getting some sleep as I can’t think of anything better to do to pass the time for the next two days. Disturb me if something interesting happens.”
Daring looked on at the small termite snuggled away in her magical backpack and smiled somewhat, do not disturb unless a call to action was in order was a thought that crossed her mind. Something was definitely off with Princess Kazooie concerning Pinkie Pie, she’d learn about it later though. No point in alienating her princess.
Sure it was strange to think of Kazooie as her princess, but Daring was happy with her choice of deity at least. Kazooie didn’t seem like one to sit on the throne and do paperwork for eternity and a half, attempting to keep nobles in line, dress up and go to ballroom parties or anything a regular princess would be forced into. She was a no nonsense princess and even if she didn’t want Daring around, she was stuck with her.
Daring leaned back on the bed stuffed into the cramped room, she gave a soft sigh and removed her hat laying it off to the side before rolling onto her belly and pulling the covers up to close her eyes. She dreamed of having a grand time with her new buddy.
Twilight sighed as she lay down; the guest rooms were cramped and apparently needed some remodeling. It was a good thing the Crystal Empire architects from a thousand years ago were still around, they’d know how to fix the problem eventually. She couldn’t help but feel that something was off about Cadence, but it was good to see her brother and sister in law again.
“Spike takes a message.” Twilight said as she sat upon the bed. “Dear Princess Celestia, having visited the Crystal Empire I have learned that everything is fine here. There were no destroyed buildings or any damage as far as I could see; apparently they had come under attack by changelings. I have learned that the power of the crystal heart is interesting as it stopped the changelings from hiding themselves, but it didn’t prevent them from entering the empire. The explosion was just Cadence and Shining releasing their power on the changelings… well at least that’s what I think happened, they didn’t exactly explain the details of what happened after they put up a shield around the crystal ponies gathered at the castle. The end results seems to be no pony over here being hurt and I will be returning to Ponyville tomorrow morning to continue my magic research. Love your faithful student, Twilight, did you get everything Spike?”
Spike nodded and rolled up the letter and wrapped it up and belched up the mysterious green flames he was known for sending the message to princess Celestia. He yawned and crawled into bed and curled up next to Twilight who pulled him in close and kissed his forehead and then hunkered down and levitated the blankets over both of them.
Twilight snuggled what amounted to her son or little brother with the exceedingly long life span ahead of him against herself and fell asleep peacefully dreaming of new discoveries yet to come.
Meanwhile in a different part of the castle Fluttershy and Rainbow hadn’t been able to go to sleep quite as easily as they were still discussing something.
“Rainbow you really shouldn’t use that kind of language… well technically flap isn’t a bad word, but the way you used it wasn’t very nice.” Fluttershy sat on the cloud bed that Rainbow had dragged to their room and gently nipped at the prism pony’s feathers as she straddled her.
“I don’t see why you are so high strung about that Fluttershy.” Rainbow was blushing up a storm at Fluttershy’s mouth on her exceedingly stiff wings, no other pegasus could ever claim to have wings tougher then some metals like she did right now. It was to put into question how she managed to break a wing before this; then again she wasn’t in love with Fluttershy at the time.
“Well it would be nice if you could work on it, I can only imagine what’ll happen if there were little hooves running around and you started setting a bad example for them.” Fluttershy had let go of the wing she had just finished and before she started to work on the other one her face became bright red at what she just said. She was already thinking that far ahead? Fluttershy shook her head and started to slowly nip lightly at the other wing, she figured Rainbow as enjoying this as her wings were so rigid.
“Yeah, I really should watch myself around Scootaloo when I talk.” Rainbow didn’t know that that wasn’t what Fluttershy had meant and the fluffy pony wasn’t about to correct her. “I’ll try to work on that, promise Fluttershy.”
“I know you didn’t mean anything bad by it Rainbow and… Rainbow?” Fluttershy titled her head slightly and heard the soft sounds of sleep neighing, she smiled to herself. Rainbow was like a big foal, she was so cute when neighed in her sleep. Fluttershy finished up her own wings and then snuggled down and wrapped a wing around Rainbow. One of Rainbows own wings automatically wrapped around Fluttershy causing her to squeak as she was squeezed into a comfortable but inescapable grip.
Gently a smile made its way to Rainbow’s lips and Fluttershy gave them a kiss before nuzzling her way into Rainbow’s hooves.
In another room of the castle, Rarity sat on the edge of her bed. Cadence and Shining were apparently a happy couple, Fluttershy and Rainbow were inseparable as far as she could tell conjoined at the wing as it were. She sat morosely wondering of the day she’d find love, just like a romance novel… well stuff like that didn’t happen very often but Rarity could dream.
Looking at her mane in a mirror she stifled a yawn, lots of reflective surfaces this empire had, but nary a bathroom to freshen up. Well they’d work on it eventually she guessed. She simple brought a sleeping mask out from her back and sighed wistfully, thinking about a pair of manly eyes she could stare into at the end of the day before drifting off to the realm of dreams with a warm body next hers.
Was it really so hard to find a good stallion, of good standing and with a very good personality that wasn’t snobbish in the slightest. If Rarity were to be honest she was quite the snob, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t a good friend to have around. Maybe she might aim a bit lower, find at least someone respectable even if they weren’t of higher standard like her. They would just have to live with a high maintenance unicorn and if they couldn’t well they just weren’t worth her time if they didn’t want to be around her for who she was.
Rarity scrunched down and slid under the covers to just stare at the ceiling, she wondered who the perfect pony for Applejack was. That poor farm girl, always working so hard and never caring about any personal endeavors and was more worried about her family then anything. Applejack should at least make time for her own life outside of her close knit family; find a good stallion or a mare as she was already certainly settled down and it would have to be a pony that wouldn’t mind being stuck on or near a farm for the rest of their lives.
Rarity drifted off to sleep wondering if Applejack really needed any more than her family to be happy.
Outside in the city of the Crystal Empire in the dark a lone pink pony sat on top of a crystal spire staring at the moon.
“Why can’t Applejack stop liking Rarity so much… what does she have that I don’t, I’m cute, I’m cuddly and I can be the upper crust of a snack if I wanted to be!” Pinkie said to herself, there was no one around to listen to her. She sometimes felt like she missed a lot of moments in life by not being able to be in more than one place. She slowly moved a hoof up at the sky. “Princess Luna sure does make a beautiful night and I really like the dancing lights.”
Pinkie wasn’t going to explain how she got up to the top of a crystal spire or was lying there without sliding off the slippery slope into the darkness below. It was all part of a larger metaphor that was her need for non sugar related sugar. She could slide off this slop and fall into the unknown and never come back or she could stay here and enjoy the light of an already dark place coming from the moon.
Pinkie Pie figured it was better for her to sleep out under the stars; she really missed her sisters sometimes. They all had different paths and it was kind of sad, at least she got to see cousin Octavia often enough and she was always so flustered around her mare friend Vinyl. She was happy that her cousin was in such a musical relationship.
Pinkie sighed, she’s spent years searching for the perfect partner for Kazooie and she had to admit none of the thousands of ponies that eventually flowed through Ponyville was right for her. Even Daring Do wouldn’t be right for Kazooie; Kazooie needed someone who wasn’t exactly like her and could last forever. She made that promise in good faith that she could make it come true and Kazooie did eventually find her world again even if it had might have had something to do with the Random Number God.
Pinkie could only wonder where Kazooie was, her Pinkie Sense wouldn’t allow her to find the bird and she honestly never knew why. Then again she never actually controlled her Pinkie Sense to actively predict stuff, it comes when it was needed and that was it.
The only kind of pony that would be able to stay by Kazooie’s side would have to be an alicorn or something like it that can’t die by aging. Pinkie really didn’t know how she would complete her tall order from her first promise, but she really stopped thinking about it because she might not ever see Kazooie again. Now she was thinking about it even more, if a friend of hers was completely unhappy she was going to do her best to make that friend somewhat happy if she couldn’t already fill them to the brim.
Bat ponies? No, they didn’t exist forever and they weren’t like storybook vampires, even the sparkling kind. Crystal ponies? No, Pinkie knew they didn’t exist forever they just got sealed away for a long time, kind of odd that they could speak and write in the same language as any pony else could. She also knew Crystal ponies were a lot more fragile then they look given what Sombra did to them. Earth, pegasus and unicorn ponies were out. What other kind of ponies were there? Did changelings count as ponies? How many different species of ponies were there?
Pinkie paused and rewound to the word changeling, while a regular changeling might not survive forever maybe black snooty could. She was like a princess after all and she was the head of her species… but she didn’t have a king and was really cranky about receiving love. Maybe if she could lock herself in a room with Chrysalis for a little talk… or maybe she should find a dragon, they were ageless right?
Rolling onto her belly Pinkie looked over the edge of the slant she was laying upon, she stared at the long fall to the ground. Maybe it was time for her to go to bed; she had to wake up cheery and rearing to go in the morning.
She simply leapt off the edge, the only way to stop fearing the unknown was to make the unknown known. You had to test your limits of the surrounding world at some time, maybe take a tutorial to help you learn what you needed to know for the journey ahead and then you take everything that you knew and shove it out the window. Sometimes you needed to do something crazy to see the light in the darkness. Her long straight hair flew up as she fell down with her eyes closed.
When Pinkie opened her eyes she looked up at the top of the crystal spire she had been on and smiled, her hair curled up and she bounced down the street back to the castle happily humming a quick happy tune. She tried to remember what it was called… she thinks it was Green Greens from the world of Dreamland a place she could visit in her dreams easily enough.
Applejack sat there slack jawed watching in amazement at what she had seen as Pinkie just bounce off towards the castle. Looking at the spot Pinkie landed there wasn’t even a speck of dust out of place from her landing, she was wondering how Pinkie got on top of the spire in the first place and was worried about how the pink mare was going to get down from the giant crystal that made up the outer shells of the surrounding buildings.
Well Applejack received her answer, but honestly she didn’t know if she could believe her own eyes. Pinkie just leapt off the building in a swan dive, her hair was rather straight as if she were depressed and then before Pinkie hit the ground she just came to a stop a foot above the ground and stepped down the rest of the way.
There were so many strange things about Pinkie that Applejack couldn’t even begin to describe, here she thought the Pinkie Sense was the strangest thing Pinkie did other then randomly breaking out into impromptu songs that every pony around eventually wound up getting dragged into. No that had been the strangest thing an earth pony has ever been seen doing. Quite frankly it looked like a suicide dive and Applejack would have thrown herself under Pinkie if she didn’t know that it was Pinkie doing the jumping.
Pinkie was certainly an acrobatic mare, but that was ridiculous. Applejack was a simple pony, then again many would argue that an earth pony was a simple being. That was far from the truth, Applejack was educated… well in so far as the family business and her experiences in life were concerned. She herself didn’t just think any pony could be normal or simplistic, every pony had a unique talent and hidden depths that some ponies never get to see.
Pinkie Pie had a lot of hidden depths to be sure after a show like that. Applejack was honest to a fault from her own perspective and never lied to her friends. Like Pinkie’s birthday party for example, Applejack needed to pick apples for the party, she need to help with the construction of said party and she couldn’t very well lie to Pinkie even if it was a surprise party for her. Pinkie just didn’t ask her the right questions, like what she was constructing or what she was going to gather the apples for as she was the catering for Pinkie’s birthday party.
Applejack thought back again, there was that Pinkie Pie promise she had made. She got away with seemingly breaking it because she didn’t show up for breakfast and as such she didn’t have to tell them anything… she still did after all the stuff she did to try and evade her own friends. It took Rarity and Pinkie a while to get back from that little adventure. Pinkie was very understanding that day, despite the fact that she could have stopped Applejack earlier if she wanted to; she just let the chase continue to the inevitable conclusion where Applejacks honesty eventually won out when she knew she couldn’t keep away from her friends and family forever.
Applejack gave a small smile, maybe there were some things a simple pony like her wasn’t meant to understand. She honestly knew Pinkie hadn’t given up on her and it showed because Pinkie wouldn’t stop visiting for breakfast. At least Zecora knocked on the door before inviting herself in with that speaking in rhyme thing she always does, her brother was happier than ponies at cider time and Applejack was glad for him having a good friend to spend time with.
Chuckling Applejack slowly meandered down the road, thinking of what kind of apples would keep well around the Crystal Empire. Applejack looked around at the climate, it was still rather cold, but it was considerably warm around the Crystal Empire itself. That crystal heart was sure fancy in make the surrounding areas of the empire able to support plant life.
Meanwhile in Canterlot with big butt and hot flank, Celestia was reading the message she received from Twilight and sighed in relief. She swore that that kind of power could have possibly come from the most dangerous creature Equestria has ever seen, one that ripped the Cancer in half with a single punch and even Discord paled in comparison to her might. Celestia feared Kazooie had returned, she was just glad the crystal heart was able to aid Cadence and Shining in their time of need.
“Tonight’s a good night my dear sister.” Celestia said staring off into the sky; she hoped that her sister stayed happy this time. The night life around pony settlements was more celebrated then it used to be.
“That it is sister. Now I shall go do this, clubbing thing, as the ponies that enjoy the night do. It shall be a new experience for thou.” Then Luna flew off leaving an even more worried Celestia, she hoped Luna didn’t go too far when she got drunk and disorderly. Celestia didn’t want the headache when she woke up, maybe she should have told her sister that the giant war hammer wasn’t necessary for clubbing. Eh, Luna would figure it out eventually.