//------------------------------// // [ARC II] Chapter 15- Cliche Central // Story: Building Walls, Burning Bridges // by MonolithiuM //------------------------------// "The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive." -Thomas Jefferson ARC II THEME Let me just say, for the record, that I had already formulated twenty seven ways to murder Nanny Joyful without getting caught in the first twelve minutes we were in that balloon. I was stuck with her for the entire hour and a half flight to Ponyville. Oh, and guess who she was sent by too… Fucking Celestia and Luna. Yes, I did deserve it. No, I did not like it one bit. So for the moment I was listening to Joyful spew off some crap about how I'd love Ponyville and everyone there. I wouldn't though, for obvious reasons known only by bronies . "Ugh…" Words couldn't describe my distaste for Ponyville. Of all the stories that sent human characters to Ponyville, I was now living it for real. I had to… improvise my stay there. I had several ideas to spice things up, but some would take more time than others to begin and complete. Joyful continued to talk, and I just then knew how to save myself from her incoherent babble. Music. Sweet, sweet music. \\\\||||//// "Now I smell the rain! And with it pain! And it's headin' my way!" The balloon touched down, and I suddenly found myself not wanting to leave Nanny Joyful. I mean, sure she was annoying as all fucking hell, but she had some spectacular pipes. I sat on the floor of the balloon with her, patting my thighs to the drums, while she continued the next line. "Oh~ Sometimes I grow so tired… But I know I got one thing I gotta do!" "RAMBLE ON! Now's the time, the time is now to sing my song!" "I'm goin' round the world, I gotta find my girl!" "ON MY WAY!" "I've been this way ten years to the day…" "RAMBLE ON!" "I got the queen of all my dreams!" I finally poked her in the leg and she blinked. Smiling she poked her head up and over the edge of the balloon. "Alrighty then! Here we are!" She used a hoof to dislodge one of the earphones and opened the door with the other hoof. "How the hell do they do that?" Seriously though, fuck magic. I shook my head and grabbed my things. "It's one in the afternoon, so where are we headed to?" I asked Joyful. She smiled back, surprise surprise, and threw a hoof in the direction of… "Son of a bitch." The Schoolhouse. How Cheerilee signed me up so fast was a wonder, but I figured that the Princesses also had something to do with it. We made our way to the schoolhouse, and that fucking pink mass of ADHD was standing right in our way with the biggest look of shock on her face. "Don't say anything!" I said something anyway. "I'LL EAT YOUR LEGS." And then she ran off after the whole air-gulping thing and giving a little screech. I had to prepare to leave a party now. "Fuck." "Mono…" I brought my attention to Joyful once again, and she gave me the most disturbing smile that I had ever seen. "Don't do that," she said simply. "Yeah okay," I replied, making my way to the schoolhouse door, struggling to remain unperturbed by her little show of evil. The doors swung in gently, and instantly Cheerilee looked towards us and smiled genuinely. "Why hello there! I was wondering where the two of you were. You're twenty minutes late!" "I apologize, the balloon crashed on top of a pony while I was landing down in Canterlot. Sorry for the delay." Joyful smiled and I cracked a wry grin. "It was hilarious, you should have seen the shape of his head." "Dis…regarding what he said, I think it would be wonderful if the fillies and colts asked Mono some questions. This way they'll get to know him on a personal level and plant the seeds to a budding friendship!" I facepalmed while Cheerilee smiled and nodded to Joyful's overtly enthusiastic suggestion. So I stood at the front of the class, with Cheerilee and Joyful to my left and the kids straight ahead of me. I closed my eyes and cleared my throat, relaxing my muscles and blinking twice. I stretched my neck upwards and looked back down at the kids slowly. "I eat cooked animals." \\\\||||//// "Are you ready now, Mono?" Cheerilee asked me with a frown. I rolled my chocolate brown dots and nodded. "Do not say anything like that in my classroom ever again." I stopped my advancement into the class. "Why not?" I asked. "The reason is that these fillies and colts are impressionable. They should not be thrust into the world so suddenly." I glared at her. "I eat meat. They have to deal with that, and they have to toughen up anyway. The lot of you are just goddamn pushovers. Any problem Equestria has is simply solved with the Elements of Harmony! Well guess what…" I hopped onto her desk and stared into her eyes maddeningly. Cheerilee swallowed her surprise. "What?" "The Elements of Harmony can't do anything to me." I stepped down and began dancing out of her office. "Discord can't touch me, the princesses are afraid of me, guards can't catch me, and I can read, speak and understand any language on the planet!" I laughed loudly. "I'm friggin' unstoppab-!" So much pain. All I could see was pain, all I could taste was pain, and I'm positive that I had had pain for breakfast and now it was just coming back up. Slowly, I sat up, holding my head between my gloves. "By the time I lift my head up, whoever kicked me had better be gone or have a really good explanation for hitting me," I snarled. I got a good look at the perpetrator, and felt my brows shift lower. "Applejack." "Mono." We sat there, simply staring one another down. Or, rather, she was staring me down and I was staring her… up? No, that sounds dirty. "I was wondering if I could buy some pigs from you." She glared at me. "Out of the question. I know what you been eatin' in the palace. Nothin' but meat and fruit. How could you just eat all them poor creatures?" I deadpanned. "Easy: I get hungry." Applejack rolled her emerald-green eyes and trotted past me. "Thanks for the apology, jackass. Wait…" I smiled and cupped my hands around my mouth. \\\\||||//// Fluttershy was having a fine day. Twilight was coming into town in the next three days, and supposedly a small creature never before seen on Terran was preceding her visit. She smiled contentedly and thought of the little fuzzy creature that she had heard about. He sounded a lot like Angel Bunny, what with the bad attitude and small stature, she was sure they would get along great together. "Oh, and I can't wait until he meets all of my friends! I'm sure Pinkie will throw a great party for him, and Rarity will make him some wonderful clothes! I bet Rainbow Dash is already planning to show off and Applejack is probably-" "I'm gonna give ya a buckin' for that!" Fluttershy turned about and saw a small black and gray blur speeding away from a sprinting Applejack. "Take it back!" The blur stopped and materialized. "Nah. Applejack-ass is just too good to keep to myself." The farm pony grit her teeth. "Mono…" "Hey, I just asked for an apple-ogy," he quipped. A brick went zooming past his head. "Come now, bricks? Really?" She tossed some more bricks in the air, then spun about and bucked them rapid-fire towards the small creature. But not rapid-fire enough… With a frighteningly fast maneuver, he blurred into being right front of Applejack, skipping the space between them in mere microseconds. "Hoooooly shit." He looked down at himself while Applejack blinked. "I just Flash-stepped." The little male creature grinned broadly and watched Applejack's front hooves rise. She brought them down with crushing force, but Mono blurred out of the way and shortly reappeared behind her. "Think fast!" He tossed a glob of mud at Applejack, who turned her head to face her attacker, receiving the mass to the face. Mono rematerialized on a fence, swinging his legs casually. "Awww, too slow." Applejack huffed and swiped the mud from her muzzle and began stomping towards the human. "By the way, I go to your sister's school now." Applejack stopped inches from Mono's smug face. Her rage became replaced by a look of worry. "You're what?" "I'm going to your sister's school so I can help them win some big competition." Mono smiled widely and chuckled. "If I can outpace you, I think I'll be just dandy, eh pardner?" Applejack tilted her stetson back while sizing up the chibi for the first time. "I reckon so… You're saying this was all just a big ol' test of you're skills?" Mono extended a gloved appendage and tilted his head to one side, smiling. "Sure. Let's call it that." The two shook and instantly diffused the situation, going in opposite directions. Mono towards the school and Applejack towards the marketplace in the center of town. Fluttershy blinked and quirked an eyebrow in confusion. "Uh… Pardon?"