Luna had already raised the Moon and Celestia had lowered the Sun when the weird night had finally commenced. Oddly enough, it all started with a rather simple occurrence, receiving a strange package in one’s mail.
“Your majesty! Princess Celestia!” A royal guard cried out as he and two of his comrades rushed into the throne room at full gallop. Princess Celestia, sitting regally on her throne, raised a concerned brow at the guardsponies.
“Yes, what is happening?”
Bowing curtly, the lead guard of the trio replied. “It’s an urgent delivery, your highness!”
Celestia shifted on her throne, stretching her wings and various muscles. Royal duty on a daily basis can be very stressful on the body, you see. “From whom, my little pony?”
“Ugh...Umm. Well your majesty...” He sputtered as he rubbed his helmet with a hoof, embarrassed. “We’re not entirely sure, who, sent it. We just found it laying at your mailbox outside the draw bridge!”
The Princess let out a royal sigh. “Which box? The one with the kittens painted on it, or the one with smiley-faced suns?”
“It was in the kitten one, my lady.” The first guard replied.
Celestia pounded the edge of her throne with a hoof, gritting her teeth in anger. The sound echoed across the throne room. “Treason! I had ordered the other mailbox specifically painted with the cheerful suns for all official mail! Suns are much cooler than kittens after all.” Sighing again, the Sun Princess regained her normal, serene countenance. “How do you know it’s urgent then?’
The second guard chirped out a reply before his comrades could. “Your highness, the package is in a red box! Which means it must be important!”
Sure enough, the armored pony produced a medium-sized cardboard box covered in red, eye-catching wrapping paper from his saddle bag. He now held it aloft in his hoof for Celestia to examine it. The box had the words: ‘PRIORITY DELIVERY, HANDLE WITH CARE’ stamped into the side of the wrapping. Narrowing her eyes, Celestia grasped the box in her magical aura, and held it two feet from her face, scrutinizing the object. Magically unwrapping it, the Princess took note of the contents. Inside, was a load of packaging peanuts, excessive amounts of everybody’s favorite bubble wrap, and a single, shiny red button.
It was a small unassuming device with a silver bow tied to it. Before Celestia reached for the button, she looked up from it to the guards staring at her curiously. “Are you certain Twilight or Spike did not send this to me?”
The third guard shook his head. “We did not see anypony near the package when we spotted it. And as you can see, it has no label, your highness. As of right now, the sender is completely anonymous.”
“Please summon my sister here then, please! This...device intrigues me, but I do not understand why it’s here. Perhaps Luna can shed some light on its nature?”
Bowing, the guards complied. “Yes, your majesty. Right away!” The trio set off to fetch Luna. One of them tripped over the box as he went. A guard standing off to the side between two pillars face-hoofed at the display. In the meantime, Celestia levitated the button out, examining it from every angle.
Princess Luna then strode into the room. “Tia, what is it you....OOOH!”
Letting out a squee of delight, Luna rushed to the box now lying on the floor, and stuck her muzzle inside. Pulling out several strands of bubble-wrap with her mouth, she put them on the floor and gleefully began to pop the little bubbles with her forehooves, giggling like a little filly.
“Luna, over here sister! It’s the contents of the package, not the wrapping I called you to see!” Celestia said impatiently, still holding the button in front of her. Glancing up from the bubble wrap, several pieces of the sticky packaging peanuts fell from Luna’s face and mane. Pointing a hoof at the button, the younger Princess said, “Pray tell, what is that you are holding Tia?”
Celestia looked back at her sister with confusion. “I... Don’t have a clue. Obviously some kind of button. I assumed it was something for you. Are you certain you did not order this off the internet somewhere?”
Luna shook her head. “I never order anything. I just find what I want and teleport it here, Tia. So much faster than slow old pegasi snail mail.”
“Then, what could this possibly be?” Celestia put a hoof to her cheek, confounded that such a simplistic-looking object could be so... So esoteric.
An idea popped into Luna’s head as she glanced at the apparently empty box. She rushed over to it, and digging through the wrappings, the alicorn discovered a handwritten note. Looking back up to her sister, Luna grinned. “Tia, breakthrough! I’ve found a note.”
Celestia continued to analyze the object. Even going so far as to prod at it with her hoof. Not looking away from the button, she replied in a deadpan voice. “What...does... It say?”
Clearing her throat, Luna read the message out loud. “It says:
‘Dear sir or madame. To whom it may concern: The button you now possess is a highly powerful, extremely dangerous device. You have been entrusted to keep this object safe for the entire night until dawn tomorrow. If anyone attempts to convince you to push the button on the device’s top, please, do not listen to them. Its power has not yet been appropriately estimated, and the effects are completely unpredictable. For the safety of the universe at large, please keep the device under heavy guard, and whatever you do, do not listen to it if it tries to speak to you! Above all else, DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!’
"Well isn’t that... Odd.”
Luna looked up quickly from the note, to the button, of which Celestia was now holding in her hoof. The older sister had an odd glazed-over look in her eyes, and with her tongue in her cheek, she was slowly lowering her other hoof to the button. With a look of horror, Princess Luna charged at Celestia. “Tia, NO! Don’t press it!”
“Shiny...” Celestia mumbled in reply.
Batting the button out of her sister’s hoof, Luna breathed a slight sigh of relief. Gasping loudly, with her violet eyes fully widened, Celestia stood as if snapping out of a trance. “I, what in the name of Harmony was that all about? It’s like, something was talking to me... Inside my mind!”
Luna laid a wing on her older sister’s shoulder. “You’re alright now, Tia. We need to grab that... that thing, and chuck it over the mountain side! I’m not trusting anypony to guard it if not even you are immune to its mental manipulation!”
As the Princess of the Night spoke to the her sister, a guard nearby stared at the button a little too long. His eyes going blank, he began to shuffle towards it, dropping his spear with a loud clatter on the hard marble floor. “Your highness! One of ours has fallen to the button’s unholy sway!” Another guard cried out.
Just as the two alicorns turned to see what was happening, the guard shouted. “So SHINY!” Before lunging at the object, and cleanly landing his armored hoof over the red button on top.
“NO!” Both Princesses shouted in unison.
They were too late, as the guard’s hoof clamped down on the button. It made a loud ‘beep’ as it was pressed. Breaking free from the button’s mental grip, the beleaguered guard on the floor shook his head fiercely. “Huh? Wha...” He stammered. One of his fellow guardsponies dragged him as far away from the supernatural device as the stallion could.The button was now emitting an angry red glow, and shook vigorously across the floor. With a final violent jolt, it unleashed a large shockwave of energy which cascaded across the room.
Luna and Celestia grimaced and closed their eyes in worry as the wave passed over them. Guards covered their eyes and tried to protect their faces with their forelegs.
When the wave subsided and faded away into the air, a girly-sounding shriek echoed out across the throne room. It was quickly followed by a chorus of several more. The Princesses opened their eyes, and were greeted by a horrifying sight. Their jaws dropped open as they took in the scene.
Half of the guards present in the room, had been turned into mares.
Several kept looking at each other and screaming once again, in complete shock. Others ran around in circles, panicking. One of them managed to trip over the button, accidentally triggering it again. This time, the button was still and calm as it released its magic. The device turned the chandeliers into hundreds of bits, which subsequently showered to the floor with loud jingles.
Discord then appeared in a side doorway, naturally attracted by all the chaotic commotion. Everything only escalated from there.
“My oh my Celestia! What ever are you chaps doing in here, hmm?” The Draconequus peered at the now female guards curiously. “I see you’re finally allowing the fairer gender into the Royal Guard.”
The presumably reformed Spirit of Chaos let out a light chuckle. “Quite a bold move on your part, Tia. I hope some of Equestria’s more... traditional Elite don’t take objection to this. You know how destructive and chaotic those boring, tea-sipping aristocrats can be when they’re fussy.”
Luna scowled at him, as the guards continued to run around in panic. “Discord, go back into your room where you belong!”
Dejected, Discord folded his mismatched arms and pouted his lip. “But the TV doesn’t get HBO or AMC, and I’m missing The Walking Dead and the final episodes of Breaking Bad! And the air conditioner keeps blowing out hot air!”
The Princess of the Night now stared at him incredulously. "Why don’t you just call a repair pony... No, better yet, how about you go and use your magic to fix it yourself! We have a situation on our hands, draconequus!”
Discord scoffed. “Oh, fine. I’ll go and take care of it all by my lonesome. It’s not as if I wanted to chat with somepony tonight anyways.” While the two had their conversation, the panicking guards managed to trip over the device again, this time sending it tumbling over to Celestia’s hooves. Before she knew it, the button once again had her in its sway.
Without hesitating, she activated it. Princess Celestia blinked twice, as the energy from the object washed over her.
Celestia’s Point of View...
It was a dessert wonderland!
All around the Princess stood giant, exquisitely made cakes and pies. The pillars were replaced with giant candy canes, and vanilla-filled eclairs littered the floor. Towards where the entrance was supposed be, a giant oven now stood. Creepy carnival music played in background.
With a loud, distorted dinging sound, the oven door popped open. Inside was a chocolate souffle. It’s irresistible aroma curled seductively towards Celestia from afar.
The alicorn felt her mouth water with desire.
As she slowly made her way over, she stepped on one of the eclairs. Blinking, she looked down to inspect it hungrily. The eclairs then morphed into parasprites made of skittles. When Celestia pulled one of them towards her mouth with her telekinesis, the others started yelling at her in squeaky high-pitched voices.
“You’re hallucinating, your highness!”
“Why are you eating that, Tia?!”
“Somepony’s got a weird appetite!”
Without hesitation, Celestia snatched the others up as well. They all quieted up in her mouth with a pleasing, fruity crunch. Just before she could swallow the candy, she was seized on the shoulders by a massive four-tiered wedding cake. It’s frosting arms seemed to leave stains on the Princess’ brilliant white coat. The chewed up candy insects fell from her mouth to the floor.
Out of nowhere, a cake, fork and knife, all cast in fine platinum, appeared in air. They levitated en masse towards Celestia. She snatched them up and attempted to cut a slice for herself. On the top of the cake, the bride mare figurine came to life and shouted at her. “SNAP OUT OF IT, MY SISTER!” Celestia struggled, attempting to break free of the talking cake’s firm grip. The cake than gave her a good shake, stopping the Princess in her tracks.
Discord, still in his usual bodily form, pranced around nearby in a tutu, performing Russian ballet. All at once, the music faded, the bizarre desserts vanished, and the real world took hold once more.
Reality?
Celestia broke out of her second button-induced trance, and looked at the world around her. At her hooves on the ground were packaging peanuts, covered in saliva with teeth marks clearly pressed into them.
The Princess suddenly felt a bitter taste in her mouth, realizing what the skittle parasprites actually were.
Discord was admiring the new chaos unfolding around him, and Luna was still grasping Celestia with her wings, her face etched with concern. In the distance, Philomena hooted in distress, somehow free of her cage. Apparently the button had been triggered a fourth time.
Luna however, kept Celestia from observing what the latest effects of the activation were. Gazing intently at her older sister, Luna shook Celestia again, getting her attention. “Tia, the note has changed, it has a new message on it now! We have to find a way to get rid of this device before its effects start spreading to things outside the Castle!”
Still in a thick daze of oblivion, the older Princess could only nod weakly.