They say Patton was one of the greatest American generals who ever lived. I only hope my name can become important enough to become a caption below his photo.
We're finally in business. The USS Montgomery appeared out of nowhere from beneath the Gulf of Mexico. I swear, one moment we're fighting for our lives, the next, there's a Tomahawk going straight into the position our boys were trying to capture. We won the Battle of Tampico. I'm just glad we didn't lose it.
Once the Montgomery surfaced, they told us about how they had malfunction after malfunction in the Chesapeake Bay, all while resting on the seabed because their air compressors broke, and couldn't push out the water in the ballast tanks. Apparently one of the crew members snapped and almost set fire to the guidance systems after they failed to work with a week's worth of repairs gone down the drain. And that's after they used up their stocks of duct tape on the bilge pumps.
So we're all in this bullshit together. Captain Sparrow (Hint:His dad was a complete Film-Nerd. Guess what his first name is.) reported back, saying that after a thorough inspection, the Montgomery was not seaworthy. However as they still had more-or-less a full load of Tomahawks, we are definitely not lacking in the firepower department. Although she's stuck at the local port, that's still close enough that almost all of Texas is within the range of the missiles.
And that's not all. The USS Richmond and the HMS Viking picked up our mayday calls. They're just a few hours away after whatever happened in the South Atlantic.
There is a god.
The night was dark and humidly warm in the small, unnamed town. All anyone knew about it was that it had a shipyard complete with drydock, a plethora of bars on every street, and that the main source of revenue had nothing to do with tourism even through the panorama was to die for. The town was built on a tropical archipelago, two large islands to the north and the west while smaller islands dotted the southeastern horizon.
Decades ago after the end of the Great War, a group of the earliest slavers had made their stronghold on the western island. When discovering that this was not a single isolated island, they constructed forts and lighthouses on the smaller islands and on the edges of the large islands that went out to sea.
A small dive bar near the edge of town had just opened and already the cigar smoke, or whatever they burned, lazily rose and stuck to the ceiling in a thick haze. A loud group of sailors suddenly burst in, having found the other establishments to be too crowded for their liking. As they sat down on the many stools, one boasted about how he had "tackled a grizzly" while another loudly told the story of how he and a crew of ten had razed a raider's hideout and were planning to loot it after Gdoya Week. The bartender started to pour out alcohol into glass tankards from the spigot. Where he got the booze, no one knew, nor did they care.
He whistled sharply, and a grumbling unicorn emerged from the backroom levitating a freshly washed tray. She was grey all over, but if one looked closer, her coat was actually a faint blue while her mane had black strands among the wispy white hairs that dominated her head. She had a perpetual frown that matched her beat-down spirit. But like an agile young pony, she swiftly slid all of the drinks off the counter onto the tray in a well practiced move. The unicorn skillfully slipped through the now crowded bar and set the tray down onto the table. All the drinks save one were gone in less than a minute.
She took the lone remaining drink and placed it in front of a human hunched over a book. He nodded, acknowledging her existence. She saw him at the start and end of her day, payed enough for a single tankard and was always reading that mysterious book. Many times she had wondered about the contents, but every time she had paused, the bartender would whistle her back to carry another tray of drinks. Even though he didn't bother to say a word of thanks nor look up at the unicorn, she felt marginally better that he was here. That small nod of acknowledgement for had kept her spirit somewhat alive during her forced stay. Sighing, the pony silently returned to the pissed off bartender to serve the rest of the impatient costumers.
Rat took a sip. Same old nasty drink as any other day. Tasted like recycled soot from a radioactive winter. His stomach rumbled, but no dinner would be eaten tonight. In fact, the only people who ate dinner were the rich folk who could afford the luxury. He turned a page and rolled his eyes. As if he needed a recipe for improvised plastic explosives.
All of the talking in the bar immediately stopped as a revolver clicked and a cold metal barrel of a gun pressed against the back of Rat's neck. The air was tense. Even the bartender stopped to witness this event. Rat shook his head in amusement. There was only one person who would do that.
"Love ya' too Lev!" he yelled sarcastically. A deep booming laughter erupted from behind him and Rat's mysterious assailant pulled up a stool and sat down across the table, tossing down his revolver. The conversations restart and the mood lifted.
"You haven't changed at all!" he exclaimed. Lev was a hulking man with years of muscles built up on his limbs. His facial hair was no less impressive, sporting a grizzled beard that reached his chest, claimed never to have been shaven. Old injuries scarred his face, some visible while others were hidden in the bush on his chin. All he was missing was an eyepatch. But Lev was quite adamant that he would keep both of his eyes, even if a patch made him look even more menacing. This made quite the amusing sight, one of the biggest men sitting across from one of the smallest.
The unicorn returned with another drink, but unlike the others Lev had heartily laughed and thanked her for her service. He even patted her on her back, making her face burn in a blush. She returned to the counter with a slightly larger smile and an extra spring in her step.
"So!" Lev said, slapping his knee. "Do you want to start? Or should I let my gun choose?" He picked up and waved his signature revolver. It was a beefy chromed chunk of metal with a black rubber grip. As if it was made specifically for him, it sat comfortably in his similarly massive hand.
When Rat shrugged, he swung open the cylinder to make sure it was empty and placed it back onto the table. Lev blew into his hand for good luck and spun the gun around like a roulette until it stopped with the barrel pointed directly towards the large sailor. He swore. Then laughed hard enough that even Rat couldn't resist a smile.
"You!" He pointed toward the quiet human. "I don't know what goddess of luck you have on your side, but I want in!" Lev took a few sips of his drink then gagged at the horrible taste. He eyed Rat's tankard then lifted his own. "You drink this?"
Rat shrugged again. "Well you have'ta get used to it. It's local taste."
In a rare event, Lev quietly chuckled. "Heh. Local taste..." He looked up. "I've been away that long eh?"
The small human nodded. "Yeah, bout'... ten months."
"Almost a year." the sailor whispered. He shook his head, "It only seemed like a week!"
Rat agreed. "Yeah. What's been goin' on in your life?"
Lev nervously played with his hands. Rat was surprised. Not because of the manly-man stereotype being broken, but because his friend actually had something on his mind. He looked up as if he was silently desired his friend's approval.
"I've been spending my time in Eastern Russia. I tell you though, it's cold up there. But it's really nice!" He brought his voice down low to whisper, "I even got a glimpse of their capital. Absolutely beautiful. They finally finished rebuilding it."
Rat whistled, impressed. "So you're justa' tourist?"
Lev shook his head and grinned. "No, we did a bit of trading. Looking for news in this godforsaken world. I've also been making deals. See, I was at this political assembly... No, I'm not a politician, the capitol building was one of the only structure that was actually heated. Anyways, this mayor of a small coastal town asks for weapons to fight off some invaders. She gets ignored because it's is too far east and... Honestly, the only things they care about are themselves. She notices that I'm not from around and comes up to me to casually talk. Then I make her an offer."
"Let me guess. Ya send guns... and she wakes up next to ya in bed?" Rat asks, hoping for a humorous reaction. He gets it.
The sailor coughed, the bad taste combined with the shock expelling the pathetic excuse of alcohol out of his mouth, but with his throat locked up from the sarcastic comment, it sends the liquid into his lungs when he trieed to take a breath. Rat laughs out loud for the first time since his friend left. It's a lighter, faster laugh, but still a laugh. Lev glares and silently curses him as he burps up air that he swallowed.
But the sight of his friend genuinely laughing brought him back into good moods, and he joined in as well.
"Nah. No luck. She is pretty though." He took another small sip. "I bring her weapons," Lev paused for dramatic effect. "and she gives me a place to live."
It was Rat's turn to look surprised. The two of them had lived here for as long as they could remember. Aside from his sister who had disappeared, few knew of anyone who permanently left the archipelago.
"Eh?" The small human tilted his head in confusion.
Lev brought his head down and lowered his voice to a whisper, "I'm tired of this tropical heat. I'm tired of working for a person I've never met. I'm tired of my life. And frankly, if I hadn't gone to Russia," He lifted his revolver from the table to his head and cocked the hammer. "I would've shot myself a long time ago." A sharp click sounded as he pulled the trigger on an empty revolver. He returned the firearm onto the tabletop where it landed with a loud clunk. "How about you? Would you leave if you had the chance?"
Rat was silent. "I... I dunno. Never actually thought bout' it." He took another sip.
The pair was silent in thought. As the sun slowly set behind Rat, the crew of another ship that had just arrived barged in, bringing more rowdy sailors glad to be home. The unicorn was hard at work, bringing more trays of drinks only to be drained seconds later.
After listening to the start of what might've been a very interesting sea shanty that had petered off when the men drunkenly took more gulps of their booze, Lev spoke up.
"Hey." He turned his gun around so that the barrel now pointed towards Rat. "It's your turn."
Rat sighed. "A lot's changed since ya left. Last Gdoya Week we were attacked by raiders. Took a hell of a beating from their gunboats. After that, the guys up top came up with a "Defense Net" or whatever they called it. Half of us are posted on the lighthouses while the other half works on the island."
"Are you on duty?"
"Nope. Mah turn to get drunk."
"But... you don't drink..."
Rat was silent. It was true. Here, if you weren't working, you were drinking. If you weren't drinking, you were working. He didn't even work that hard. The answer was simple.
"Ya know what? Lev." The sailor looked up at the mention of his name. "Made up my mind. I would leave if I had the chance."
Lev slowly grinned. "So you're coming with me?"
Rat smiled and nodded mischievously. "For the hell of it." They picked up and slammed their tankards together and chugged down the remainder. A second later they both regretted it.
Both of their eyes watered as the torrent of harsh alcohol burned its way into their stomachs.
"Ya know," Rat said, "I've lived here for all my life an' I never chugged my drink before."
The sailor laughed. "There's a first time for everything." The unicorn came back around with one last tray of drinks and placed another two of them on the table. Lev took another sip, slowly getting used to the taste. "Now, tell me what's going on in your life."
Rat sighed. "After the attacks the whole town was pretty much destroyed, and the rich folk didn't want to buy expensive cages again or get em' fixed. Bout' six months ago they fixed up an old prison that can hold every pony on the island. And you wanna know what's funny?"
"Yeah?"
"No one wants to watch over ponies while they sleep. And the rich folk keep yelling that they don't have to pay much for people to stare at ponies for a night."
"And...?"
Rat proudly tapped his chest with his hand. "Guess who's in charge of most of the ponies on this stinkin' island?"
Lev sputtered, "You!?"
"Yep. Every night. Easiest job I ever got. Pay ain't good, but I don't really care."
"What about the other ponies on this island?"
"That ain't my problem. Ain't much of a problem to them either. If ponies don't want to be in a cage, they'll be out within an hour. Most don't even try because they know that they can't escape the island. A pegasus tried to fly out. Two undred' miles to the closest island that we don't control is a hell of a flight. His body drifted back this morning."
"Damn..."
The clock on the wall softly pinged as the last of the drinks were chugged down. The bartender loudly banged an empty metal keg to signify that no more drinks would be served.
"Closin' time! Cleeeeeear out!"
As if all of the patrons were part of a single hive mind, they all stood up at the same time and marched out of the door, their heavy boots thudding across the wooden planks that covered the dirt underneath. Rat and Lev were the last to leave. But in their conversation, neither of them had noticed that the moon had risen high in the sky, pure white moonlight shone down onto the sleepy town. No lights and very few people who actually owned houses meant that sleeping under the stars was not uncommon but once the sun went down, there was very little time before the only vacant spots were in the middle of the road. By now the streets were empty save for a few ponies going towards a square concrete building constructed on a hill. The sailors hunkered down in alleyways, roughing it out til the next sunrise. The only sounds came from the boots and hoofs hitting the ground as they made their way.
Lev looked around for an empty spot. While it had been almost a year since he had slept within a thousand miles of the islands, old habits die hard. But just as he found an exceptionally comfortable looking spot, Rat yelled for Lev to follow him.
"What?"
"Ya need a place?"
"Well if you have one..."
The small human grinned. "Yeah. I got one."
***
Although it was built as a prison, it really couldn’t be called that at this current moment. The only lock in the building was the one on the bathroom door, and even then it only really worked if the door wasn't banged hard enough. All the bars did was set a boundary for each group of ponies sleeping in a cell, and on a hot night, they let in a comfortable breeze of fresh air. That was another reason most ponies never tried to escape the so-called prison. Everywhere else sucked.
"We're sleeping in a jail?" Lev asked incredulously.
"Ey," Rat held up his hands. "been sleeping here since I got the job."
The entire prison was in a U-shape, two levels high with each side ten cells long. A doorway that led to a small office was off to the side and out of sight. Soft snoring came from the current inhabitants of the prison as the moon slowly drifted across the sky.
"And this," Rat opened his arms to show all of the comforts of his home. "is the hotel. Two stars." The sailor grinned and shook his head. "Take your pick. Just don't wake any of the ponies up."
Lev peeked in a cell. It was completely empty, save for a thin layer of hay. The moonlight shone through the window, uninterrupted by bars. He decided that it was as good as it could get and chose a corner to rest in.
Barely ten minutes passed before soft clopping sounds through the prison as a mare tried to sneak to her cell. When he opened his eyes, a distorted silhouette cast an odd shadow on the floor. Slowly, the pony walked forward.
"Oh it's... you."
It was the unicorn from earlier that was serving drinks, only this time with a pair of sleeping foals on her back. At the sound of his voice, she stumbled back in panic.
"Ah! S-sorry! You scared me there..." The colt rubbed his eyes as the sudden movement roused him from his sleep. Lev couldn't see much in the darkness, but from the size he seemed to be quite young. He squirmed on his mother's back, letting loose small whimpers as he wakes up to darkness. "Hush..." She patted his head in an attempt to comfort the small colt into sleeping. He does so, and when the unicorn saw no more movement, she gently lowered him down onto the small pile of hay. "Go back to sleep." He gladly dropped his head and closed his eyes. With a grunt and a relieved sigh, she rested herself on the blissfully-cool floor and cuddled up next to him. His twin was still fast asleep, comfortably ignorant of the events that transpired in a matter of seconds.
With the unicorn's eyes already closed, and her breathing slow and steady, Lev wondered whether or not to speak out.
Choosing his words carefully, Lev whispered to the mare, "Do you mind if I sleep here?"
She nodded without opening her eyes, too tired to care. "No..." she whispered back.
"Thanks."
The night was quiet except for the buzzing of a few insects and the leaves rustling in the wind. The moon was high in the sky, and one last breeze danced across his skin from the window before succumbing to a dreamless sleep.