To:
Dessert Wishes
226 Turnip Way
Ponyville, Equestria, Universe 45
From:
The Multiversal Church of Pinkamena Triumphant
4th Wall Street
Ponyville, Equestria, Universe 42
To Whom It May Concern:
Greetings and Salutations from the Cult Of Pinkamena. We are responding to your completion of form O-33: False Use of Church Material.
Great! I was getting worried!
Do not fear, for we here at the Office of Security are here to assess the situation and investigate all claims submitted to us in a timely and swift matter. We in fact thank you for your vigilance in ensuring that our name and legacy is not besmirched by those who do not like us. Surprisingly, there are others who would do anything to thwart Her Will, including using our own material in false ways.
Question: Why "False", instead of "Illegal"?
Good question. We use the term "False" to refer to those who are not members of our Church who use our material in ways not intended. "Illegal" is when a member of our Church does something with our material that is against the rules.
An example: If I were to go into your universe wearing a cloak that designates the wearer as a Messenger when I clearly am not, then that is an "Illegal" use. If some schmuck from around your town was to wear it, that would be "False"
So, has anything came from it? Was I too paranoid?
We here at the Ministry of Security believe it is impossible to be too paranoid. We've already mentioned that there are many groups in the multiverse that do not like us. She cares for each and every one of us, and to protect us, She created our Ministry.
As to the other question, yes. Something has come from what you described to us. Thanks to your actions, we have determined the two beings that you saw.
To the first one, we have looked through our archives, and thanks to the information you gave us, we were able to determine that the human you saw was identified as Anatoni Solovyov, from Universe 5342. This is of extreme interest to us, not only due to his misuse of our material, but he is currently chosen to be a Participant. However, our records do not show he has Trans-Dimensional traveling capabilities. This worried us at first, until we double checked your information, and we forme a hypothesis on how he was able to do so. Then we got very worried.
This leads us to the other being. While we do not have identification on the being, we can tell that he(?) is a Equestrian Changeling. What is worse is the identifying mark you mentioned on his(?) flank is consistent with the group known as the Sons Of Velis Vel.
Wait, who are the Sons of Velis Vel?
The Sons of Velis Vel is an espionage group made up of mostly differing types of changelings from the known multiverse. While their numbers are not overly big, even the hint of their involvement is enough to scare lesser organizations into mass hysteria and bouts of unstable decisions. This is simply because they are trained to be highly efficient in what they do, from anything as simple surveillance to "replacing" certain individuals when the mission requires it. (This may or may not involve the "disposal" of the original being)
And no, they are not all male, in case you were wondering.
However, they are only a branch of an organization that is attempting to persecute us, and deny us the right to worship our Goddess in they way She deserves. However, you have no need to concern yourself with this. We will take our precautions from here.
What should I do if I see them again?
Observe, but do nothing towards them. We must stress that you are probably far outmatched, and we would not want to lose a beloved devotee to Her. Be rest assured that we will deal with this in a very timely fashion.
Once again, we must thank you for your service towards Pinkamena by reporting this. You will be rewarded for your vigilance.
Her Will Be Done
Mr. Rich Uncorks
High Priest, Office of Security
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From The Archived Materials of Anatoni Solovyov
Classification: Secret
--
To The Chief
Well, my contact went and [Censored] up badly. Might as well had just screamed at the top of his lungs that I was hiding out here. Why in the name of [Redacted] did the [Redacted] send a rookie on his first mission for this job? Well, now it was his last, thanks to a cleaver in the head. Tell whichever [Censored] that sent him to get an actual competent Agent next time. Oh, and I'm not dragging back the damn corpse this time either. Burned it, along with all sensitive materials.
Fortunately, the three Inquisitors the cult sent have been dispatched, so I'm safe, as far as I know. However, since I don't know who tipped them off, I've been forced to move to a new location, this time inside the Everfree. And yes, I know about the dangers of such a move, but you told me yourself to not be seen. This is about as safe from prying eyes as I'm getting, and I am the most dangerous thing in this forest.
Now, I did get the information from the Agent before his demise, so I know who the cult has targeted. But this will be a problematic extraction if the [Censored] [Redacted] Protocol is to be kept. And since they won't be hearing from there goon squad anytime soon, I don't know how many they are sending for this job. Some backup would be nice. In about six hours, I'm going to need it.
Agent 3044
P.S. Oh, and tell that archivist that keeps tracks of these things that if he doesn't like it that I [Censored] swear in my "materials", he can go [Censored] himself.