Lemon stirred in the bed, and something akin to a blanket was atop him. The cloud-home that he'd slept in was dark, with beams of orange sunlight peering in through the openings that counted as windows. The room was fairly empty, save for that the bed he was on was larger than he remembered.
In fact, he didn't remember sleeping on a bed at all.
Immediately he rose to his hooves, scanning the dark room. What had he done? Why wasn't he on the couch like he remembered? His heart raced as he began to pace around the room, failing to notice movement on the bed. What he did notice however, was the sigh.
His heart stopped at that moment, and he turned. A rainbow tail lashed from under the strewn "sheet" and immediately Lemon began to back out of the room, stumbling, unsure of his footing on the cloud. As he stumbled out of the room however, he bumped into something. As he turned, he saw it was a little colt. A very familiar looking one, with a coat of rusty orange and a dark brown mane...
What the fuck?
"Ow dad! Watch where you're going!" chided the little one, at which point a blue pegasus, brightly adorned with equally familiar rainbow colours paced out of the room.
"You haven't taken our son to school yet?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Lemon rolled off the couch in a start, his vision blurred and his head aching. He could barely see and his legs were like rubber. Confused and hungover, he stumbled around, heading towards any light he could see. It just so happened the light he saw was the outside, and as he wobbled toward it, the cloud beneath his hooves ceased to be, and he fell.
Zegram had awoken early, eager to get back to the ground. His flight down had been more of a glide, as he effectively parachuted to the ground. Determined to make amends and bring some sense into the confusion surrounding him and his out-of-place friend. As he paced towards the Library, which he could easily see from where he'd landed, it being the only large tree in the entire town, he began to play in his mind the scenario he was going to aim for. His intention was to explain to Twilight the reality of their situation, and if she would maybe get a letter to the princesses, to see about a way back home.
As he reached the door and rapped his hoof on it, he would never be able to explain why the sight of a small purple dragon opening the door was a surprise to him. The dragon looked at him, nonplussed, and simply stared awkwardly.
"Ye-uh....uhm is...is Twilight around?" asked Zegram, assuming he would have reason to be sheepish and embarrassed. Without much fanfare however, the dragon turned, and walked inside.
"Come in, I'll get her" he called from the room, and Zegram took a few tentative steps into the library. The place had been cleaned up impressively. Not a thing looked out of place, and no surfaces were dirty. He was unable to stop himself from fluttering his wings as he made his way into the main room, but they almost clamped themselves to him as Twilight walked into the room.
"So, can I help you Zegram?" she asked, with no trace of ire or hard feelings, as Zegram would have expected given the spectacle he and Lemon had put up the previous night. Her face was expectant, and Zegram caved.
"So uh...I guess I owe you an explanation right? You see, Me and Lemon are...explorers of a sort. We found ourselves with the opportunity to travel to somewhere we've never been, aaaand we took it. We decided it'd be fun to have a look around at someplace new since the chance arose, aaaand we're kind of stuck here because one of us didn't think of a way back." he explained. Her face in response was not one of disbelief, but that she was simply unimpressed. it was unnerving to see her giving him such a casual look, but he knew that she knew that this wasn't the whole story, and there was demand for more.
"eeeaaah, do you know...anything about...humans?"
Immediately, Twilight's ears twitched and her eyes widened. With a deep breath and a fluttering of her own wings, she raised a hoof and exclaimed "Yes! Strange creatures! Some would say they are much like bears, but smaller and with less fur. I've seen them myself and they're not like bears at all! They're much smaller and come in a far greater array of colours than most bear species. Why?"
"Well you see, uh..." Zegram started, already nervous at her enthusiasm. This was too cliche. "Me and Lemon you see, we're uhm...we're from-" but was immediately cut off.
"Another dimension!?" quizzed Twilight, her face alight with excitement. Immediately Zegram deflated, relieved.
"Oh good, I was afraid I'd have to explain the idea to you..." he said, feeling a pang of silliness. He knew about her and the mirror afterall. He figured that was also the source of her knowledge on the matter.
"That doesn't explain however" said Twilight. "...How you two knew of us Element Bearers."
Zegram's relief dissipated, and his heart began to pump. "YOUDONTNEEDTOKNOWSTOPASKING" he blurted, and immediately began stammering with uhms and ahs, strongly hoping she wouldn't inquire further.
"This is important Zegram!" she demanded.
"euh..ah...well we know about you from uh...from cartoons..." he offered, almost whispering.
"Sorry, what was that?"
"...cartoons" he mumbled again.
"Speak up Zegram, I can't quite underst-"
"Cartoons okay!?" he barked. "Where we come from, you're cartoons!"
Her blank expression was disconcerting, and after a few minutes she spoke, her voice quavering and soft.
"Just what...else do you know about us?"
"Uhm...we've seen most things from the day you first showed up here in Ponyville, until your recent escapade with the mirror thing..." he offered, nervously. "We didn't see everything! It's a show not a study!" he ventured, trying to soften the obvious blow. But she simply stood there, and stared at him. He tried his best apologetic face, and tried his damndest to psychically tell her not to freak out.
"You uh...you ok?" he asked, after minutes of the blank staring. Though this seemed to snap her back into reality, her response was not encouraging.
"Nnnope." was her curt reply. She turned and called out. "Spiiike! I'm going out, would you make some tea for us while I'm gone?"
The small dragon appeared seemingly from nowhere, with a feather duster.
"Sure Twilight. Where are you going anyway?" he asked.
"Out. Going to break down. Maybe even cry. Who knows." she responded flatly, and with a sharp zap she was gone. It took all of three seconds for bone-chilling wailing and shouting, with what sounded like foreign expletives to reach them. Immediately Spike turned to Zegram, clearly unhappy.
"Just what in tartarus did you say to her!?" he demanded.
"You know, so far the track record for my explaining things has not gone well. It's probably a bad idea to tell you too."
With that, he sidestepped the huffy little dragon, and decided that he was faced with another opportunity. A fan of reading, he decided he would dive into the world he was facing. Less for the answers that inevitably awaited him, and more for how interesting and curious they would be.
"Fancy seeing you here." said Rainbow Dash, clearly unimpressed with the sight before her, which was the sight of Lemon's rump in the air, as his face was trying occupy a patch of earth that was already occupied. By the earth. Grabbing his tail, Rainbow managed to pull on him to get him to lift his head.
"Whu? Whozat?" he asked, still slurring. As he turned his head, the sight of bright colours in a worrying shape caused him to stutter and fret.
"WH-NO! NO NO NO NO NO IM NOT THE FATHER NO NO!" he babbled, trying to back away whilst his legs refused to cooperate.
"What? Are you ok? You have a foal? What?" she asked, completely confused. She'd been woken by Zegram, and asked if she would look after 'the drunk', to which she agreed, having no weather duty planned for the day.
Her confusion struck a chord with Lemon, and it seemed to calm him. He stared around and the realization began to dawn on him.
"OH HAHA! A DREAM! IT WAS JUST A DREAM! HAH...shit why didn't I realize that already." he said to himself, relieved and calm. He then turned to Rainbow Dash, who was just rolling her eyes. he didn't know if she'd dealt with drunks before, but she certainly seemed in-the-know and unimpressed.
"Yeah uh...nevermind. Why am I on the ground?" he asked her.
"You screamed and fell off the cloud." she responded curtly, but not without smirking some. "It was pretty funny actually."
"Oh. That'd explain why my head hurts."
"Maybe. You did drink a lot though."
"I tend to do that."
"Does it always end with you screaming in the morning?"
"More often than I'd like."
"So why keep doing it?"
"Beats me."
"Well you're awake now. We should probably go find your friend, I think he went to the Library."
"We could do that, sure. It'd be responsible and would get the story going."
"Story?"
"Figure of speech. Alternatively, we could do something fun. And I'd like something to eat, since my stomach is just a little angsty right now."
"Well we could go to sugarcube corner. Pinkie always makes some pretty awesome treats for breakfast. Muffins and cupcakes-"
The mention of cupcakes, by Rainbow Dash, had caused Lemon to burst into laughter, and despite all the questions he would never explain why.
They reached Sugarcube corner in a few minutes of walking, much to Lemon's relief, and upon entering the Cake's bakery, the smell of sickeningly sweet baked goods filled Lemon's unexpectedly attuned nostrils like an alluring invitation, turned up to 11. Sure enough, stood behind the counter was the chipper and sunny pink pony that he'd expected to see.
"Oh! Hi there! I thought I saw you and Dashie coming down the street but I couldn't be sure! Your name's Lemon right? I remember names! I don't usually make lemon flavoured things this early but I thought since it was your name you might like some! I made some tarts and some sorbet and even a pie! Like blueberry pie! But with lemons!" exclaimed Pinkie, seemingly in a single breath.
"Combustible lemons?" he asked.
"Huh? NO, silly! The tasty kind! There're combustible lemons? Do they taste as good?"
"uhh, Pinkie.." interjected Rainbow Dash. "Got any of those doughnuts I like?"
Lemon, though slightly irked by what he would always refer to as being profiled, decided not to go against his nature, and went with a lemon pie, whilst Rainbow Dash was given a plate of doughnuts, each with icing in the different colours of the rainbow. So much for any notion of not stereotyping.
It was as they sat at their places, the seating in this place, possibly in this world, being awkwardly low benches which Lemon was apprehensive of at-first, but upon sitting on them, found them to be very comfortably built to house pony-rump. Immediately after this, he put his recently learned eating skills to use, and dove his face into the pie, scarfing some down, before licking his face clean.
Rainbow Dash was simply confused as to why a pony would ram his face into his pie when he could just take a bite. She put it down to the drinking, and continued to eat her doughnuts. Pinkie, stood behind the counter, found Lemon's eating highly amusing, and was constantly giggling. The bakery's other customers took no notice. Pinkie Pie was always giggling about something.
As she watched Lemon eat like a colt, she hoped he would sharpen up soon. A day of foal-sitting didn't sound very fun.
"So, Seaponies are in the sea. Fancy that." Zegram remarked sarcastically to himself, with the book he was reading offering little by way of specifics. He'd found a wealth of information on the world he was in, though little on the nature of changelings or where they lived, as he'd been looking for. Information abound on Zebras, Griffons, and other such fauna and flora, most of it seeming to reside in or near the Everfree, with the exceptions of the Zebra in 'a far off land known as Zebrica' or the Griffons in 'their fortified kingdoms in the valleys, known as Gryphus'.
After browsing an atlas of sorts however Zegram came to a hilarious but sad realization. Near every location in the land was a pun. With a few exceptions, there was not a single place in this atlas that was not some kind of horse or animal pun. Vanhoover, Stalliongrad, and Trotland to name some lesser-known locales. Applewood, Mcintosh Mountains, the list went on.
Amid a fit of quiet, stifled giggles, Zegram was caught unawares by Spike, simply watching him. His plodding entrance had failed to break the silence, and internal distraction of Zegram's enjoyment of 'The Magical Land of Horsepun' as he would refer to Equestria from then on. Spike, being quite familiar with Twilight's tendency to overreact, had put off making the tea, and was simply staring at Zegram, not entirely happy. Twilight might overreact, but that didn't leave this Zegram character off the hook.
"Can I help you?" Zegram asked, after noticing the stare.
"I don't like you." Spike replied.
"O...kay...Does Twilight do this often?"
Spike had opened his mouth to come to the defense of Twilight's overreaction, but he couldn't. He conceded, and mumbled something along the lines of "yeah I guess"
"Any idea when she'll be back?"
Spike again, opened his mouth to answer, but waited. Then, from the kitchen, the kettle was apparently ready, as the 'fweeeeee' rang through the Library, and Spike took his moment to answer.
"Right about now."
His response was then complimented by the sharp zap of Twilight teleporting back to the spot form whence she'd vanished not an hour ago, looking considerably less upset, though her mane and wings were somewhat disheveled. Her mane especially, was ever so slightly ablaze.
"You uh...you got a little...fire in your ah...mane there." he gingerly pointed out. This did seem to perk her up, as her horn lit up, and she encased her mane in magic, dousing the fire and setting it neatly as it was previously.
"So!" she said, with a level of enthusiasm Zegram did not expect at this point. "A cartoon!"
She walked over to Zegram, as he became increasingly nervous of her. This calm was unsettling and Zegram tried to reassure himself that she was calm due to working out the anguish wherever it was she'd teleported to. The forest probably. The blood-curdling sounds that took a while to die down certainly sounded like she wasn't happy about it all. As she took a seat at the table Zegram had been reading at, Spike was on-hand with a tray of the freshly brewed tea. Twilight took the precedent to levitate both cups to them, with a gentle thanks. As Twilight took a sip, Zegram decided to follow suit, only to find his tea had a strange but familiar taste to it. As his throat was overcome by a mild burn, he had to stop and look at his cup.
Izzat...izzat hotsauce? That's fuckin hotsauce!
After another few seconds, another thought wandered into his head.
That's some pretty crappy hotsauce right there. Worst I've ever had in fact.
Swilling the weak burn around in his mouth, Zegram comes to the only conclusion one could when Spike was looking at him with a smug smirk. He looked the little dragon straight in the eye, and shotgunned the rest of the tea down in a single gulp, which caused the little dragon to falter for a second, and give Zegram a raised brow.
Twilight obviously noticed the glare Zegram was giving him.
"Something wrong?" she asked
"Your iguana put hotsauce in my tea." said Zegram, flatly.
Twilight's ears flattened, and she turned to spike, clearly irritated.
"Spike! Why would you-" but before she finished, she turned back to Zegram.
"Did you just call my number-one assistant an iguana?" she asked hotly.
Zegram had his best pokerface on, and gave her his curt justification.
"He put hot sauce in my drink."
Spike, feeling he was off the hook with Twilight, was now curious.
"You didn't seem to care though. That was some pretty hot hot sauce." effectively tenuring his confession.
Zegram instantly put on the thickest accent he could muster, causing himself to sound to Twilight and Spike like a male Applejack.
"Boy, I'm a Texan. Now ah understand y'all ponies here in this world chew on flowers an' grasses an' all manner of mild vegetation, but us Texans, we like to bathe everythang we eat in liquid farh an' barbecue sauss." he said, with no small amount of pride.
Spike simply gave him a strange look and mumbled to himself "Dude that's creepy" as he walked away from the table, returning to his duties. Twilight simply rapped her hoof against her horn, unimpressed by the display of bravado, though she had to admit his tolerance to hot sauce was note-worthy.
"Well, back to the matter at hoof. Or would it be...hand?" she asked.
"Whichever you prefer." Zegram replied, having dropped the exaggerated accent.
"So, it's not so out-of-this-world to understand you're from the other dimension. I've been there afterall." she began.
"Uhh, no you haven't."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, as you know, we've seen portions of your lives. The universe you traveled to, through the mirror? Not ours. Not by a long shot."
"Oh, well...I suppose there being multiple universes out there isn't too far-fetched." said Twilight, slightly unnerved by being reminded that parts of her life had been seen, observed, and worse, thought to be fictional.
"At any rate..." she continued. "I've managed to prove to myself that you aren't changelings atleast. I gave you a check when I examined your wing. I'm slightly surprised to learn that you aren't really ponies, since I found no abnormalities in your anatomy."
Zegram was immediately bothered, but also flushed with embarrassment. Deciding to let the violation of his privacy slide, he couldn't help but ruminate on why Twilight had used the term 'anatomy'. In his experience, it often referred to very specific parts, even if it's actual meaning was broader.
"I will have to send out a letter to the Princess either way. She must be informed of this."
"Which Princess would that be?"
"Celestia ofcourse!" said Twilight, matter-of-factly.
"Ofcourse."
At that, Zegram offered his warmest smile, and got up from his seat. The day had so far been all too peaceful, which left him with a tight knot in his stomach. Or so he figured, since it couldn't have been that weak hot sauce.
"Look, do you mind if I go? I need to check up on Lemon and Rainbow. I got a... I wouldnt say bad feeling, but I just wanna make sure nothing is on fire...or broken... or broken while on fire... Or on fire underwater..." he explained, but Twilight hardly noticed. She was busy writing said letter. Which was slightly odd. Didn't Spike usually write them for her?
As he made his way outside, he heard a familiar sound in the distance. It was definitely Lemon's voice, and it sounded like he was shouting "Waheeeeeey!".
This can only end well. He thought, as he ran towards the sound of inevitable catastrophe.