Princess Celestia of Equestria hadn't particularly expected hordes of new creatures to rush towards her in an attempt of First Contact. The Griffons had kept their distance for a moderate amount of time and the original Changeling hives many centuries ago had avoided it as long as they could. Regardless, would it be too much to ask for a quick and easy meeting for a change?
Still, it was better than having to defend her subjects from said creatures. The fact that they were keeping their distance was proof enough for her that these new beings were at least wary of outright violence.
"They're changing direction again, Princess. Shall we continue pursuit?" the closest royal guard reported with a hint of annoyance. She understood that pulling the royal chariot wasn't the most honored or the most comfortable of positions, but the guard had very little reason to be irked so early into their flight.
"It does seem that they aren't going to give up any time soon," Celestia admitted. Perhaps it was wrong to ignore somepony's desire for privacy and seclusion. But given all the recent events, especially those from this week alone, it was best to ensure that these weren't the same creatures that were causing her ponies such distress. "You and your stallions can rest, lieutenant. I'll just take us to them."
Celestia's horn began to glow bright yellow as she called on a teleportation spell, focusing it on the position directly in front of the escaping newcomers. In no more than a flash of light, she and her escort were on the forest ground in the midst of the bewildered bipeds.
Celestia herself was stunned by the physique of these creatures. All of them were quite muscular and stood at least a head over Celestia herself, the tallest of all the ponies, giving them an intimidating look. This was coupled with the fact that they wore metallic plates over their bodies somewhat similar to her own guards, but more bulkier and less decorative.
They're speech was completely different from Equestrian as well. It was free-flowing yet gruff and forceful. There was no real way to describe it or anything to compare it to. Even the Changeling language was somewhat similar to modern Equestrian, albeit with more hissing and buzzing.
One of the bipeds pointed at her with one of its digits and pointed back up into the sky. They must be confused about the teleportation, Celestia mused. Non-magical species were hard to come by. Even the Griffons ad some exposure to it. These things must have been living under rocks for the past millennium.
More apparent bewilderment began to arise within the group of five. Their facial expressions, if they were anything like Ponies', betrayed their feelings of exasperation, confusion, and perhaps anger as well. I must find out what they're saying if this is going to go anywhere. Throughout the introductions with the Griffon Kingdom, Celestia used a one-way translation spell to try and move things along past the language barrier. It proved to be far more effective than a game of charades might have been.
She would be able to understand their language through means of the spell. The only problem was that they still wouldn't understand her. It was worth a try, regardless. She drew upon her magic again and focused it on the creatures' speech. As if she could suddenly hear again, the words began to flow smoothly and with meaning:
"Fuck. That. Shit. Those horses were up in sky two seconds ago. Aren't unicorns magic or some shit?"
"Shut up, Nguyen."
"Get Nelson on the line and tell him to hurry his ass up."
"Seriously? Why horses? Of all things?"
If she could only tell them to calm down. What were they really afraid of with contact of a new civilization? She just needed to start conversation, but she couldn't. The bipeds would have to be nudged into it. Celestia nudged the nearest one with her forehoof, prompting the creature to turn around.
"Sorry, pal. I haven't brushed up on my horse-speak in a while," It said with a uncomfortable smirk. "But I guess it isn't any easier for all of you either, huh?"
Celestia shook her head in response: "No."
The creature smiled a bit and turned around. A whole second had past before it had turned around, its eyes wider than before. "Oh, shit! Captain, this thing understands us! I think..."It turned back quickly to face Celestia and asked, "You do understand us, right?"
Celestia smiled and nodded.
"I'm going to go out on a limb and call bullshit, Jenkins," another creature wearing significantly less armor responded. "Are you suddenly a horse whisperer? Like in that one book? What was it called, again?"
"The Horse Whisperer, Nguyen..."
"Yeah. That one." Nguyen confirmed.
"Captain, you really need to see this. It's not much, but he or, well, she is nodding and stuff. Go on and ask something." Jenkins said to another armored figure.
"Goddammit, Jenkins. It's a horse. An intelligent horse, granted, but..." the Captain was interrupted as Celestia teleported herself directly in front of the apparent officer. She glared up at the creature's mostly hairless face calmly, though at the same time masking her discomfort. It was strange to look up at somepony for once.
"There it goes again, sir," Jenkins pointed out to his commander. "It's zipping around like it's teleporting or something."
Celestia nodded at Jenkin's remark repeatedly to confirm the point. The officer looked down at Celestia skeptically, but kept quiet for a while. After a few uneasy seconds had passed, he asked, "This... teleportation is because of what? Magic, I suppose?"
Celestia nodded again, relieved that these beings had heard of magic before. It would be so much easier if they weren't scared out of their wits from her displays like the Diamond Dogs.
"Wonderful. Just when things can't get any weirder..." the Captain said with a sigh. "So what's the deal? If your all magical and such, can't you just talk to us?" Celestia shook her head in response. "So much for the easy way out of this."
"Sir, uh... what do you want us to do, sir?" one of the other beings asked.
"Tell the damned doctors to stop fiddling their thumbs and get the hell over here." the officer responded in an irritated tone, his face distorting into a frown. "It's bad enough that this is happening to begin with. The good doctors have had more than their fair amount of time packing their lunchboxes."
Understood, Cpatain."
The captain turned to Celestia once more and let out a sigh. "Now we can get down to business, hmm? I'd prefer a private spot away from the men and preferably your as well, if you wouldn't mind."
Celestia looked at the biped curiously.
"There's a few things that I need to tell you privately that aren't privileged to anyone else, even your own personnel," it answered in a whisper, quickly deciphering her question even with the language barrier. "EarthGov and all its Sovereign Colonies send their regards in this First Contact situation, Princess."
"From what the sergeant said, it looks like shit hit the fan with meeting the natives," Private Friedman said as the band of marines and scientists brushed past yet another patch of ferns and bushes.
"Yeah, well, most missions with good old Dekowski are just a long sequence of fans and shits," Nelson snorted. "Don't let it get to your head Doc. Just think about meeting the exotic naked native girls."
"Sergeant says they're horses, sir."
"Then look forward to moving your ass for once, instead." The corporal's smile faded into a wry smirk. "It's not every day you meet a new civilization, you know. Do we even have a protocol for that, Dan?"
"You got me." Private Hendricks replied.
"Section Three." Friedman answered, drawing looks from the other two. "It's called Section Three, Protocol One."
"Do you just study the goddamn Handbook in your free time, Doc? Or are you naturally just filled with useless trivia?" Hendricks asked, shoving the Friedman's head forward.
"That's how us medics get the job, Dan," Friedman replied with a sigh. "We have this huge Q and A session, seminar, and meet-and-greet over coffee. It's great, really. You should look into it."
"Whatever."
"I tell you what, this is going to get so much simpler once this whole First Contact thing blows over," Nelson said as they cleared a clearing populated almost entirely by four-foot grass. Hendricks, who was not wearing his helmet at the time, suppressed the urge to violently sneeze.
"How so, sir?" Friedman inquired.
"You think the brass are going to let a bunch of knuckle-dragging jarheads like you lot deal with delicate shit like this?" Nelson asked rhetorically. "We'll be off this rock in a week tops, you mark me."
"And leave us with all the fun, Marine?" Doctor Carsiri said a few feet behind. It was strange that he was trying to make conversation at all given the circumstances, let alone with Marines. "Oh, no. You're staying here to aid us in the wonderful field of diplomacy and sociology."
Nelson scoffed. "I thought you would be ecstatic to dive into this new scientific discovery and whatnot. You know, 'One big step for Mankind' and all."
"Criminey! I'm a biologist for heaven's sakes," Carsiri retorted irritatedly. "This is not my field of expertise."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, shut up." Nelson hushed, placing a finger to his lips. "They're over here, guys."
The men closest to the front of the group passed some more low tree branches to the right of where they were previously heading and found themselves in the clearing they were looking for. Richardson, Wesner, and all the others turned around to the rustling. Wesner turned back around to a bright white four-legged creature. Nelson could see why tehy were so quick to call them horses, but they were a little too small.
"Christ, did you stop for lunch on the way over here?" Richardson asked with a white smile as he approached Nelson.
"Not like there was anything worth rushing to, right?" Nelson replied sarcastically.
"Doctor Carsiri, I need you and your colleagues help over here," Wesner hollered. "I think this one is their leader. Or at least something like it."
Nelson could here incomprehensible muttering coming from Carsiri as he and two other scientists walked over to the white horse and Wesner.
Suddenly, in a flash of yellow light, a round, wooden table appeared between them all. Five seats appeared at different points around the table, one for each representative. By the look of the doctors' faces, they hadn't been expecting that at all.
"Rich, where did that table come from?" Nelson asked, his mouth open wide.
"I have no fucking clue." Richardson replied in a defeated tone. "There's so much random shit happening here, I need to sit down for a minute. Maybe once I'm totally crazy I'll go and start talking to some of those armored horses over there."
"Just go take a walk, Rich. We have to keep an image here." Nelson said. "Nothing good's going to come from sitting down and taking a nap at a time like this."
"Yeah, okay," Richardson nodded, not looking at Nelson. "I could use a good stretch anyways."
"Take Jenkins with you, too," Nelson ordered, grabbing his friend's shoulder. "He's looking pretty spaced out. I don't want him to be-"
Several percussive bursts from explosions cut Nelson short, deafening everyone and everything in the clearing. Nelson was able to keep his eyes open enough to see a half dozen cylindrical canisters bounce off the ground and roll around. One by one, each canister began to seep indigo gas with a low pop-hiss.
Nelson's overstimulated brain recognized this gas almost instantly: CHO-3 knock-out gas. The same gas he and every other marine had to endure and immediately recognize back in their basic training all those years ago.
Nelson could already feel his breaths becoming more congested as his eyes began to water. In a few mere seconds, his chest was starting to burn with every ragged breath. He crumpled to his knees and began hacking violently.
No one else was faring any better. They were all either fallen completely to the ground or were almost collapsed. Richardson was on his stomach trying to cover his mouth to protect it from the gas, coughing violently.
CHO-3 gas was nasty and cruel to the human body, but it did its job well. Nelson could feel himself begin to drift off into unconsciousness, despite his will to stay awake. Every muscle in his body ached, and his hearing was dull. He tried to stay awake long enough to see what had just unleashed the barrage unto them, scanning the sky with blurry vision.
There. Cruising several dozen meters above was some dropship, but not one that he recognized. It wasn't military or EarthGov issue at all. The only thing that adorned it that was even remotely recognizable was painted on its side, colors fading:
Weyl d Cor ration