//------------------------------// // A Day in the Life // Story: My Little Ranma: Friendship is Dissonant // by herupony //------------------------------// My Little Ranma - Friendship is Dissonant Chapter 1 A Day in the Life My surroundings are quiet save for the sounds of a gentle breeze stirring the dust across the vacant construction lot. Twenty metres separate me from my opponent, a mere skip for a martial artist of my calibre. Who am I? Ranma Saotome, heir to the School of Anything Goes Martial Arts and I'm the best there is at what I do. The guy I'm facing off against is Ryoga Hibiki. He and I go a way back - all the way back to a bread feud back in early high school. That's over seven years ago and old Ryoga the pig-boy still hasn't gotten over it. Oh yeah, pig-boy is actually a pig - well - he is if you get him wet with cold water. He got cursed when I knocked him into a cursed spring in China, but it's the idiot's fault It happened to him in the first place. Who the hell chases someone for an honour duel across Japan, and to China over a piece of curry bread? Ryoga really is a pig in mind, spirit and sometimes body - his sheer stubbornness knows no bounds. Me - yeah, I got cursed there as well, I turn into one of the best looking girls you'll ever see, but I'm all man, even when I'm a girl got it? The curse kinda blows, cold water makes me a girl, hot water a guy, but we're talking only body here - there's no way you'll get me into any of that frou frou stuff you hear? In any case, I'm getting pretty bored here. Pig-boy seems to be relishing this fight for some reason. I can't see why - I've come out on top at the end of every fight we've had to date, even on the occasions in which he has some sort of kooky magical gizmo to give him a boost. He's used quite a few of them over the years; he might temporarily get the better of me down on occasion, but I always get him in the end. Ryouga's finally speaks! "Ranma, for insulting Akane's cooking and refusing to be her taste tester, I challenge you to this duel! After I defeat you, apologise to her and eat whatever she gives you till the competition!" A stupid reason for a fight if you ask me. Did I mention before he's pig headed? Akane Tendo is my fiancée off an arrangement her old man and mine made back before we were born. This was supposedly to join our two schools of martial arts together, but there's only one martial artist in the equation, and it's not her. As a martial artist Akane doesn't bring much to the table other than gorilla like strength and a temper like you'd never believe. She's a flat chested, uncute, short legged tomboy, whose charm may only be in her smile, not that I get to see that much at all given the fact that we get on like oil and water. To top it all off, I can't get away from her as my old man and I are staying at their dojo. Anyway, my tomboy fiancée has entered one of those tv cooking competition shows, along with my two other fiancées, Ukyou and Shampoo. Apparently they want to declare before the nation which one of them will be the best wife for me. Don't ask about the other engagements, there's long story there, but it just shows how irresistible I am. To prepare for the competition, Akane has decided to practice her cooking, and guess who's the test subject? Most guys would relish the thought of a girl cooking for them, but they haven't tried Akane's stuff. Seriously, most of her cooking is like toxic waste and there's no way on earth you'd want to eat it after trying one bite. Akane is her usual supportive self of my cause when it comes to my fights with Ryouga. Apparently she is here as an impartial witness to our duel. "Ranma, this fight is all your fault! Don't you dare pick on poor Ryouga!" she shouts to me. On hearing this, Ryouga's eyes gain a sparkle to them and he raises a fist heavenwards as he makes a declaration, "Don't worry Akane, I'm going to teach him how to act around a lady! Today Ranma, you face crushing defeat as the very luck of the gods is with me!" I take a closer look at Ryouga and notice that he's wearing a pendant around his neck. It seems like it's some sort of gold coin with a horseshoe imprinted on it, and it's attached to a chain. No doubt he's just had a few lucky coincidences that he's chosen to attribute to it. Nothing to it, I'll just beat him up, take the "charm" and hawk it off at the pawn shop - heaven knows I could do with some cash. Ryouga's eyes flash as he dashes forward to attack me. I don't notice a change from his usual berserker style - rapid, broad, and powerful swinging punches with minimal focus at all on defence. One would think that Ryouga would be easy to put down with my level of training, but his style is deceptive. He is capable of switching to quicker styles and does so on occasion, and I'll grudgingly admit he can take quite a beating as well. Trying for a counter and knocking him out in one hit is a trap many fall into - a blow that would at least stun most people barely registers to him, and if you're not ready, he'll simply floor you with his monstrous strength after you hit him. I keep my distance from him, forcing him to attempt to close the distance. It is far easier for me to parry and dodge Ryouga's kicks than to allow him an exchange with fists and is frustrating for him to no end. If I keep it up for long enough then he'll try and taunt me into closing. "Curse you Ranma! Stand still and take your punishment like a man! Or are you too much of a girl to face me head on!" He's sure like clockwork today. Time to wind him up a little with a counter taunt, "Are you sure the luck of the gods are with you? Looks more like bad luck to me! You're so slow today, even Akane could dodge you!" "Raaaaaaanma!", growls a glaring Akane from the side. Whoops, I keep forgetting that Akane thinks she's a better martial artist than she actually is. "How dare you insult both of us! Prepare to die Ranma!", cries Ryouga as he makes another charge at me. Visibly riled, his punches are just a fraction sloppy - there is a lot more power to them, but are a tiny fraction overextended. Seeing the advantage coming my way, I accept his challenge for a close in exchange, and I use my superior speed to put a few quick blows in before we disengage from each other. To my satisfaction, I come out of the exchange with only a few spots where my arms might bruise a little, but Ryouga hasn't fared as well. I managed to slip a few hits around his face, and he grins at me as he wipes a small trickle of blood from a corner of his mouth with the back of a hand. "As weak as ever Ranma! Your punches are like featherlight touches!", scoffs Ryouga. "And you still have the speed and grace of a fattened pig! I could have read a whole manga in the time I had to dodge some of your punches!" I retort. It seems Ryouga is more unhinged than usual today as he charges me with a battle cry, and an angry red hot battle aura visible for all to see. Perfect. I let him close into range for punches, maintaining a cold calm aura as I deflect or evade his blows whilst leading him through the spiral steps for one of my favourite moves. As I draw near the end of my spiral, a feint to his face allows me to snatch the pendant from Ryouga. With my target acquired, I throw up an uppercut that is nowhere close to hitting him. The hot and cold auras spiral together as a roaring dragon of ki begins to ascend upwards, carrying Ryouga with it. I shout the name of the technique to increase the focus and power of the spiral, "Hiryu shoten ha!" With that, the dragon of ki buffets Ryouga upwards and away from me. I survey my surroundings - collateral damage has been minimal which means my control over the technique is increasing. On the first occasion I executed this move, I had little control over the ki tornado that formed and required an extremely large spiral. These days I don't need much of one, only an opponent with a sufficiently hot battle aura. I guess Ryouga hasn't picked up on that yet, even though he helped me with training for the technique. Watching Ryouga fly into the distance, I stuff my hands into my pockets along with the pendant, and start walking back to the Tendo Dojo. I call out, "Yo Akane! I'm heading back now, it's close to dinnertime. Ryouga's probably gotten lost after that move, and he won't be back for a few days. I'm not staying here to wait for him, he can have another rematch next time he comes by the dojo." My good mood at getting rid of Ryouga quickly allows me the grace to not rub in the fact that I'm not honour bound to eat Akane's cooking after winning the duel. The walk back to the dojo takes the best part of fifteen minutes, and most of those are spent bickering with Akane. Thankfully I manage to avoid triggering Akane's temper, and we arrive at the dojo with a distinct lack of bodily harm on my person. Maybe there is something to this pendant after all, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Akane shouts out, "We're home!" as we take our shoes off in the entryway. We hear "Welcome home!" from the kitchen; it sounds as though Akane's eldest sister Kasumi has been cooking. Things are looking on the up and up as it seems unlikely that Akane will have a chance of cooking tonight. Kasumi calls out to me, "Ranma, you should go and wash up after your day! You must be dusty! Dinner should be ready after you're done." Dutifully, I head off to the furou to wash up. I'm pretty compliant with Kasumi's requests when it comes close to dinner time, as her cooking is divine as Akane's is toxic. If I did otherwise, she could allow Akane to "assist" with my portion of dinner as payback. I quickly wash up, enduring a change to my female form as I scrub down in cold water - this is followed by a soak in the hot water of the furou, changing me back to normal. These days I hardly notice the changes in form as I have now lived with the Jusenkyou curse for a few years but it still vexes me that a manly man like me is afflicted so. Kasumi's timing is perfect as I hear her call, "Dinner's ready!" as I leave the furou. As I take my position at the dining table, I see Akane, Kasumi and the middle sister Nabiki are present, but noticeably absent are Mr. Tendo and my old man. Noticing my searching glances, Kasumi offers an explanation before I ask. "Father and Uncle Genma have gone out training with grandfather Happosai tonight." "More like drinking," snipes Nabiki. "Now, now, Nabiki," admonishes Kasumi. "At least we're not going to be fighting over food tonight," I mutter. Cheerfully, I shout out "Itadakimasu!" as I start digging into my rice and help myself to servings of grilled fish, fried chicken, and deep fried tofu. The sisters start talking over dinner about how their day has gone, with gossip about neighbours, friends, and school rumours being their main areas of interest. I promptly tune out of the conversation, and concentrate on enjoying my dinner as it's a rare occasion that I can eat without some sort of interruption from either my old man or Mr. Tendo. Unfortunately, Akane chooses to include my day as a topic of conversation. "Ranma and I bumped into Ryouga today! I told him about my entry into the cooking show, and Ryouga tried to defend my cooking in a duel with Ranma!" "Good going there, Saotome," quips Nabiki. "Wasn't my choice," I mutter. "Well, Ryouga wouldn't have to do these things if you just do what I ask!" fumes Akane. "Yeah, yeah," I reply, disinterested, as I take out the pendant and have a look at it. The pendant has a part that looks like a coin with a horseshoe imprinted on one side, and on the other, there are two winged horse thingies with horns chasing each other in a yin yang arrangement. One of them seems to be chasing a sun, the other, a crescent moon. I hold the pendant up to my face by the chain, and can't resist the urge to spin the coin on it. As it spins, I feel a small amount of energy emanate from it, a strange mix of ki and magic. "Ranma, what's that?" asks Akane. "It's the pendant Ryouga misplaced in our little tussle today," I reply. Curious, I feed a little more ki into the pendant as I spin it a little more quickly. More of the energy I sensed before radiates out and I sense that one is golden, and the other is cobalt. "Looks like it's gold Saotome," comments Nabiki. Feeling brave and foolhardy, I gather a ball of ki in my right hand, and keep the pendant close to my face with the other. "You might be right there Nabiki! Say, how many lab monkeys can we buy with this if it's pure gold? I think we need as many as we can get to test Akane's cooking." I tease, as I prepare to spin the coin while infusing my ki into it. The moment I start, I hear an enraged battle cry from Akane, and feel the familiar blunt trauma of the dining table meeting the back of my head. As I start careening face first towards the floor, the energy I felt earlier coalesces into a visible rainbow. The rainbow light washes over me, and as my head forms the filling in a floor and table sandwich, the last thing I hear as my world goes white is... "Ranma you idiot!" Even with my eyes clenched tightly, I am blinded by white light and feel lightheaded, but the rest of me feels compressed. I'm certainly reeling a bit from the impact this time, good old Akane has done a good job of flattening me with the dining table. My disorientation continues for a good ten to twenty seconds before my vision suddenly clears and I can see my surroundings. The first thing I realise is that I'm fifty feet in the air at night, falling head first towards a large pond in the bottom of a gorge. My body feels as though it is being electrocuted, and with my limbs locked up, there is nothing I can do to make my upcoming dive graceful in anyway. I count the moments down, resigned to a nasty entry as the surface of the pond quickly fills my vision. Hitting the water feels like someone bludgeoning across my cheek with an ice mallet, and as my whole body submerges under the water, movement returns to my limbs. Kicking hard, I break the surface of the water, and take a large gulp of air. As I tread water, I immediately sense wrongness with my body. Taking quick stock of myself, it looks like my hands have been replaced with hooves, and my neck is way longer. My immediate thought is of yet another curse in my life, this time, an animal one. Mentally sighing, I awkwardly wade to the edge of the pond and start dragging myself out of the water. As I do so, the universe displays its love for me as something small, heavy, and blunt hits me on the top of my head and bounces onto dry ground. Muttering curses, I glance at the offending object and see it is the pendant that has been the cause of this whole mess. Hold on. I can talk? I'm not aware of any Jusenkyou curses that turns its victim into a talking animal so what's happened to me is outside of my previous experience. Getting out of the pond feels odd -as I attempt to stand on four limbs, it feels as though I'm getting up on my middle fingers and toes - I stumble the first few times before I gain my feet and balance. Once I am standing, I take stock of my form, firstly by craning my head around, and then looking at my reflection in the moonlit pond. What I see is an equine shape I've never encountered before. A short stubby body, short legs, and a disproportionately large head, with eyes the size of dinner plates. My pigtail has carried over to my red mane and tail. The light of the moon doesn't allow me to discern my exact colouring, but it seems to me that my fur is a light colour. The strange part is that I'm still wearing my usual Mandarin collared top with frog ties - it covers over the front half of my body, while my pants have gone. On my rump is some weird brand thing consisting of a horseshoe with the first kanji for my name inside the horseshoe. Magic does weird things - I just shrug this off as something similar to how Ryouga loses all his clothes but ends up with his bandanna as a neckerchief when he turns into a pig. I look between my hind legs and I find out one some bad news - I'm a mare. Typical of my luck I suppose. I spend the next few minutes getting used to my equine body; working out how to walk, canter, and then gallop, followed by attempting to get the hang of standing on hind legs only. That one takes a lot longer, but I'm motivated by the fact that both my old man, and Ryouga were able to stand on hind legs in their animal forms and fight as martial artists. A short while later, I am satisfied with my progress. I am able to stand on hind legs only, and can manage a fair few of my daily katas. During my training period, I discover a few interesting things about this body - the limbs have a far greater range of motion than what I thought was possible on an equine, and that I could hold things on the base of my fore hooves. Holding stuff there was just weird though, it's kind of like the way my old man does his signs when he's in his curse panda form. Confident about my basic abilities, I move onto ki techniques. I start off with simple channeling into my muscles to improve strength and speed, then onto the chestnut fist, a technique that allows me to punch very rapidly. My techniques involving ki all seem to work in this body, but I notice that the flows are a little different, it seems that I can draw from my surroundings if I concentrate. One technique I've picked up is folding up stuff into a ki storage space using the Hidden Weapon School of martial arts. It's a pretty handy skill, as it allows me to carry around more than I should without being encumbered. It's not infinite storage - I can manage about as much as a large backpack before I find the technique's drain on my ki reserves annoying. I take stock of what I have on hand - a tent, sleeping bag, canteen, wallet, and kettle. Enough weird stuff happens in my life that I pretty much have these things on hand at all times. I fill the kettle with water from the stream feeding the pond and gather wood that's strewn around the bottom of the gorge. Starting a fire with hooves is a little awkward, but I'm awesome enough that it's no great trouble. Once the water is sufficiently hot enough I pour it over my head. Nothing happens. Well, nothing happens other than my head getting drenched again. So whatever magic has turned me into this equine, is stronger than Jusenkyou. If I could get hold of this magic and control it I can finally be free of my curse! With great enthusiasm, I just about prance over to the discarded pendant. As I pocket it, I have another look at it. The two horse thingies emblazoned on one side of the coin might be the ones responsible for this magic. Nothing to it, I'm just going to have to go and find them or their owner and get them to do some magic for me. I gather up my things and store them away in my ki space. Looking around the gorge, I can see the sides are a bit too sheer to climb up in my current form. Further downstream, the stream drops off another sheer cliff, so upstream it is. As I start hiking upstream, I get to see one of the strangest changes in the sky ever. The moon literally drops down under the horizon, and the sun rises quickly to a mid morning position. I don't think I'm on earth any more. I feel a ripple through my body, and I look at myself - I've turned into a stallion! My curse hasn't been suppressed, only changed! I've gained some size, and my mane and tail has turned black, but the brand on my rear stays the same. There's only one thing to say at this point in response to all this weirdness. "Curse you Ryouga! This is all your fault!"