See, This is Why we Can't Have Good Things!

by ininbbtfctub


Explaination

D'awww.... I can't tell the truth, or at least that she came from a kids television show. I had to act like I didn't know her, hard when you just heard he voiced got changed in the television show.
"Hello! Pony!" I said, acting like I didn't know her but I knew what an equine was.
"Hello! Whatever you are!" she responded. Soooo Cute!
"Wings? Ponies can have wings?" I asked her acting like I wasn't already up to speed.
"What are you anyways?" she asked disregarding my other question.
"Homo Sapien, human a bipedal creature with more intelligence than most other animals on our planet.." I responded "Answer my question now"
"Wait... Bipedal? whats that mean?" she asked me
I mental facepalmed, of course she didn't know what those complicated words meant. "Bipedal means 2 legged" I told her
"Oh! I thought you meant 2 pedals! I was like 'He doesn't have any pedals!'" she responded. Dear god where's my insulin...
Pretending I had a teleporter and accidently teleported her here I told her some mumbo jumbo about giga-watts.
"Are you hungry? Want some sweets?" I asked her.
"You have any muffins?" She asked me.
We walked to my lunchbox, I tossed her my blueberry muffin and she ate it. Hoofed animals cannot operate muffins, Derpy could. Watching her eat a muffin, if I hadn't already taken insulin I would've gone into a coma. How HURK!!!
Damn insulin wasn't strong enough.... anywho I walked towards the machine, busted. Simply busted. In my mind I was shouting "NOOOOOO!!!!! NOW I CAN'T HAVE A TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!!!!" but my outward emotions said "meh."
I walked around the pony, she was 2-d at all angles. Wait what? Yes she was 2-D at all all angles, you know that Fluttershy rotating camera that they had in the most recent episode? Eeyup, at all angles...
"So how are you?" I asked her, yes i'm trying to start a conversation with my favorite pony.
"Good! if not a little dizzy" she responded as she pruned her wings. A feather flew to the ground. My mind went "meh" and I picked up the feather. One of my other scientists had something to check for carbon based life. I walked to it and scanned the feather.
"Ooh what are you doing" she said as she picked up a microscope. For conveince I'm going to put a damage meter right after she breaks something
DAMAGE METER : $150
DAMAGE METER : $500
DAMAGE METER : $1,000
This won't work...
This is not going to be good....