//------------------------------// // Chapter 1: Did you know this field has a limit of 250 characters? // Story: War Machine of Doom // by lolitsme //------------------------------// The War Machine of Doom A My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction by lolitsme The original grammar-less version can be found here if the reader desires to read something less dense. Spoiler alert: the plotline is the mostly the same between versions, except for many important minor and inconsequential details, and so it is extremely inane regardless of the version chosen. Regardless, it is recommended to read the original before this version. --- Chapter One: The Establishment of the Premise of the Work of Fiction and Subsequent Mild Cliffhanger to Pique the Reader's Curiosity as to what Events will Follow to Entice Further Readership in a Manner Generally Accepted for the Medium of Serial Fiction --- A large fusion-powered ball of mostly hydrogen plasma emitted many photons of black-body radiation and other fusion-related phenomena onto the cluster of buildings in which cartoonish equine lifeforms lived during the early portion of the twenty-four hour unit of time known as a day. Said cluster of buildings was a town named for the colloquial name of these equine lifeforms, "pony"; thus, the name of the group of buildings was Ponyville. However, some of these habitations within the town of Ponyville were not exposed to the aforementioned photons emitted by the large ball of plasma. Some examples of these living areas included the dwellings of dogs named for a covalent crystal mineral made of carbon, which perhaps were not so much buildings as holes excavated underground. In addition, these holes may not have been located in the vicinity of the other buildings generally referred to by the name Ponyville. Furthermore, some of the living areas were not spaced far enough apart for one house to not cast a shadow on the other, and so these buildings were not illuminated by the photons of the bright ball. These buildings and subterranean spaces will hereafter be referred to as "hiding" from the bright ball, due to the affinity that one of the rulers, a tall white equine with a horn and a pair of wings, of the country or kingdom that contains the town of Ponyville with the large ball of plasma. Anyway, speaking of hiding, there was one of these cartoonish equine lifeforms who was also hiding from the large bright ball of plasma (on another note, it's rather unhealthy to look directly at this ball) inside one of the spaces underground that were dug out by the canines named for a usually transparent crystal. This equine with a blue coat, lighter blue mane and tail, a horn, no wings, and a wand and crescent cutie mark in multiple other shades of blue was thoroughly planning her revenge on an entirely different pony that had a lavender coat, dark blue mane and tail with purple and pink streaks, a horn, no wings, and a pink starburst with white sparkles as her cutie mark. This blue pony's name (or, rather, her title) was The Great and Powerful Trixie. Whether this title was earned or self-proclaimed is unknown, but her stage persona suggests the latter, as she has a proclivity to brag and enhance the truth. The world may never know exactly how great and powerful this supposedly great and powerful Trixie is. Inside the excavated space underground, it was quite dim and poorly lit. This lack of light is mostly due to the fact that the numerous wave-particles known as photons which are seen by us as "light" that were being emitted by the large ball of plasma or any other source of illumination were not able to reach the underground tunnel in which the blue horned equine was located. Unfortunately for the blue pony, her situation required secrecy from the ruler of the land, and rumours abounded about her ability to see anything that reflected photons from her big ball of fusion-powered plasma. Thus, the blue pony felt (mostly from intuition and paranoia) that it was best for her to keep her plans underground, as it were. The consequences of the elder ruler (also rumoured to be a goddess) finding out what her plans were for her favoured student would likely have been dire. Said plans involved a large mechanical, magical, and electrical automaton in the shape of a pony. Incidentally, the size of this automaton would likely have prevented the Great and Powerful Trixie from hiding the automaton inside one of the numerous indoors living spaces located within the town of Ponyville. Thus, the last available location for the Great and Powerful Trixie was within the underground tunnels of the dogs named for hard transparent crystals. Her robot was mostly blue (like her) and had various coloured streaks in other shades of blue and some shades of purple running down its body from the head. The body was made of a blue metal, which could have been mithril, some other generic grey metal dyed blue or turned blue through some other means such as an illusion. The cockpit, located in the head as one might expect, was mostly comprised of a translucent teal material closely resembling plastic but probably much more resilient. The inside of the cockpit was only large enough to comfortably seat one pony (obviously the Great and Powerful Trixie) and had a vast expanse of controls in the form of (mostly extraneous) joysticks and buttons. Some of these controls were labelled things like "left front leg", "right back leg", "secondary lasers", "fireworks", "emergency ejection system", "self-destruct", "kill", "car wash", "chaos defrost" and "wash dishes". "Stupid purple pony with a horn and a dark blue mane with purple and pink streaks thinks that she can embarrass the Great and Powerful Trixie twice," she grumbled in a powerful manner, "I'll show her the true meaning of embarrassment." Were the pony she was talking about here, she may have responded that it was an honour to learn from an expert in the field. "Um, excuse me, pony, but I would like to inquire into what exactly my pony master is doing with the large machine that closely resembles a pony?" said a tall lanky brown diamond dog. "Excuse me?" said the Great and Powerful Trixie with much sass. "Trixie's name is Trixie, not pony master, you mangy mutt!" she added indignantly. "Apologies, Trixie, but I was curious as to what exactly you planned to accomplish with the large mechanical robot that you commissioned us to construct." "Oh, Trixie is simply using the large transformer machine to defeat Twilight Sparkle and rule Ponyville forever!" shouted Trixie melodramatically. "Okay then, master Trixie, is there any way in which I can be of service?" asked the diamond dog obediently. "No, there is not, stupid dog, so I would firmly request you to leave the premises," replied Trixie haughtily. "It is now time for me to leave and take over the settlement of ponies known as Ponyville, so I will set out inside my large robotic model of a pony." The dog left as per the blue magician pony's orders and left for his living area which was somewhere else in the vast network of tunnels. On his way back, he started to sniffle and cry because he felt much affection for the blue pony since he'd first seen her but had not been able to express his desires sufficiently well and now she hated him. Trixie teleported into the cockpit located at the cranial area of the large robotic pony and commanded it to dig itself and her out of the tunnel. Trixie emerged above ground at a very familiar looking gem field. In fact, it had been at this exact patch of ground that a certain white ponyfriend of the pony she was going to revenge had been ponynapped by the dogs named for crystals that she now lorded over. However, Trixie did not actually know that because she had no affiliations with all of the parties involved in the aforementioned incident, so perhaps the previous use of the word 'familiar' was not appropriate because it was completely new and foreign to Trixie. In the general vicinity of the area that used to be littered with holes, there were still many clear coloured minerals commonly referred to as 'gems'. Trixie, however, was not interested in the plethora of shiny sparkly gemstones or various colours available to her. An apt comparison for how many gems were in that field would be akin to a jewelry store that had recently been purchasing a lot of new stock and also doing poorly in terms of sales, which would result in the store having a lot of gems and jewelry inside of it. Trixie was still sitting inside the cockpit inside the head of her large and gigantic metallic replica of an equine lifeform that was not actually alive. She was rather preoccupied with the controls at the moment, due to the complexity of making a quadrupedal robot move while having to individually control each of its leg-analogues. She silently cursed her own decision to make the controls so complicated for the sake of saving money and repeated her mantra of "back left, front right, front left, back right" as she operated the controls and made the robot move itself (and her with it) to her destination. If only she had some sort of short label or name, perhaps a single letter, that she could give to each of the controls to simplify her task. Unfortunately, she did not have the bright idea to do so, and continued her laborious method of operating the robot to the town of Ponyville.