My Little Fluttershy ^_^ chapter 2
Lost
Cold, and dark... I know nothing else. It surrounds me as I fall, my memory draining. I can hardly remember anything anymore. Where am I? What am I? why am I falling? How long has it been?
Darkness rushes by, only to be replace by more darkness. Cold chills my fur to the bone, getting colder as I fall deeper. Alone... Afraid... Oblivious.
Just as quickly as it had started, the falling stops and my head spins as my eyes adjust to the sudden light. I'm lying on a pile of crumpled newspapers in a dim alleyway. As I move, the crinkling paper sounds unbearably loud and every noise seems to be amplified a thousand times over. The world around me appears so foreign, with unique textures and dark shaded color so different from the ones back home.
But where was home? I close my eyes and try to envision Equestria, but it's all but gone... The memory covered over with an opaque glass. I can see shapes and colors of a past life, muted voices trying to reach me... but they can't... like they're locked just behind a one way mirror, staring at me while I see only a reflection.
Confused, I wobble over to a puddle to see a reflection of a young filly with a pink mane and butter hued fur staring back at me, no bigger than a kitten... I hardly recognize the strange image. What am I? I whisper, but the words don't form. Instead, a low whimper replaces them.
I look around dark alley. Buildings on either side cast heavy shadows, blotting out the winter sun. A thin layer of snow covers the ground and it would be cold if not for an artificial heat emanating from a ventilation duct. An electric hum fills the air along with a terrible, somehow familiar, stench. Black smog accompanies the heat and I cough when I inhale the toxic air. I try to flap the wings on my back, but they supply no lift.
I walk out of the dark crevice coughing out of the cloud of smoke and sunlight burns my eyes. The crisp cold feels refreshing after the heat, and the air is at least breathable. I shield my eyes from the sun with my wings as I walk, trying to find somepony to ask for help. The place seems to be deserted and I call out with a shaky voice 'anypony there?' But again, only a trembling whimper escapes my throat.
Something across the path catches my eye. Strange beings walk on two legs, hurrying off in different directions. There's an endless stream of the them, each one preoccupied in its own world. 'Maybe one of those things can help me'.
I hop down onto the path and begin to cross over to the other side.
"BEEEEEEP" I run forward, startled by the loud noise. Something red speeds by, almost hitting me. I'm shaking, the near miss sending adrenaline coursing through my veins. Just as I think I'm in the clear, I turn to see a giant leg sweeping towards me, it's owner talking to some handheld box. 'Watch out!' I plead, but I only let out a squee of terror. The foot narrowly misses me and I sigh in relief.... too soon. Another leg heads towards me, forcing me to scamper quickly away. Soon I'm surrounded by the beings, feet bumping into my delicate form from all sides. 'Help! Please,' I cry, tears forming in my eyes. Suddenly the crowd parts, and a large husky is running towards me, barking. Which is strange, because it clearly sounds like a bark, yet somehow I hear "I'm coming".
Seeing the barreling dog, the surprised beings quickly move to let it pass. When it reaches me, the husky whines reassuringly. In my head, it translates to "I'm here, you're safe." He picks me up in his mouth by my neck and lets me down in a patch of bushes . He says in what sounds like a bark "I have to go back to my human now, but be careful little guy".
The husky runs off, rejoining with his searching "human".
"Bad boy, Fluffy! Never run away From mommy like that. She gets scared." Fluffy whimpers an apology and rubs his owner’s leg affectionately, then they walk off.
He looks so happy, like he knows where he belongs... Where do I belong? Do I need a human too? I sit down in the shelter of the bushes, covering my face with my hooves. A warm tear drips from my eye as a sense of lostness washes over me. I'm so alone... The tears soak into the ground as they fall. I try to remember, but what am I even remembering. Please... Something?, anything?? I shake each time I sob, my face wet with salty tears.
At the edge of the sky, the winter sun begins its early sunset. It dyes the world a deep scarlet, stirring blurred memories. As it sinks below the horizon, I bury my face in my useless wings, and close my eyes, trying to stop the tears. I don't even know what I am... 'Somepony help me,' I whimper, barely audible.
A bird chirps soothingly behind me and I turn around to face it. I hadn't known she was there, "oh didn't see you there," I say, the words still not forming and replaced by wimpers.
She's a bluebird, her majestic sapphire wings streaked with a deep indigo. She's about as big I am, if not slightly smaller.
"What’s the matter, little one?" She chirps.
"I don't know," I reply in a tearful whimper "I can't-" my sobs interrupt me and rack my body. I sniffle and wipe the tears away, "I can't remember anything."
The bluebird hops closer, looks into the distance and chirps happily, inviting me to stay at her nest.
I look at the ground shamefully, cheeks a bright pink, "oh thank you, but... I can't fly". I flap my wings to prove my point. They carry me up the tiniest bit, but no further, even as I flap with all my might. But then my hooves leave the ground and I'm wobbling up in the air, hovering. I turn to look at the bluebird but she isn't there.
A cawwing right above my back startles me as I look up to see two powerful blue wings working hard to get airborne. "Oh no, I couldn't ask you to carry me. Please stop, I can't fly"
"Just flap your wings," she caws encouragingly.
I close my eyes and try to beat my wings. The movement is clumsy at best, but slowly, with the combined wingbeats, we begin to rise.
As the ground shrinks from under us, fear sets in. "We're too high and, um, I'm scared of heights..." I say the last bit low, embarrassed by my fear. I close my eyes, darkness surrounding me. "Ahhh!!" I open them quickly then blush, "...and the dark"
"Just keep flapping and try not to look down," she chirps, "time your strokes with mine so that we flap together."
As we synchronize our wingbeats, we're carried even higher. The wind under my wings feels so amazing, it almost makes me forget my fears. I feel the crisp breeze on my face and breath it in. My eyes close, but instead of seeing darkness I see blue skies and fluffy white clouds. A skyblue mare with a dazzling rainbow mane speeds through my imagination, and slows alongside me
"Come on Fluttershy, keep up!" she teases playfully, and speeds off, leaving a streak of every color behind her. She seems so familiar yet… so foreign. 'Fluttershy,' the name echoes again in my mind.
I squee happily "That's me!"
"What?"
"Oh, um it's nothing, sorry" I say, face bright pink. 'Fluttershy', I repeat inside my head. That's my name. And who was that rainbow pony?
A gust of wind brings me back as we struggle against it. "We're going to fly higher," my flight partner caws, "above the wind"
"Higher?" A lump forms in my throat, my fear of heights returning. "o.. o... ok" I say stuttering.
As we soar, the city landscape passes under us, shining with skyscraper light. The streets below look like lines filled with pairs of tiny red and yellow glowing dots.
After a while longer we begin a slow descent. My wings ache, my skin's numb from the cold and the bluebird's claws are starting to hurt my back, but I don't complain
"Almost there," she soothes
Then I spot it; Against the darkness, a silhouette of a large bird. And it appeared to be closing in on us.
"Look out!!" I warn, just in time as razor sharp claws narrowly miss my carrier's wing. I turn to see a raven, feathers blacker than the night itself. It's unnaturally red eyes glow dimly, adding to the creature's terrifying appearance.
"Hold on tight," the bluebird screes, going into a sharp dive. But the red-eyed raven is too fast. It catches up to us almost immediately, scraping the bluebird's wing. It goes in for another approach, flying circles around us. Another near miss and the raven's powerful momentum carries it far into the darkness. I scan the sky for a sight of the black bird, but I can't see more than 10 feet away in the dark of night. We continue to fly, cautiously and slowly, the bluebird struggling with her injured wing.
"I think we lost it," I whisper when suddenly I feel a jolt. I look up to see the raven wrapping it's talons around the bluebird. She struggles, but it's no use, the raven's powerful grip crushes her wings She screes once more in defeat, then looks to me, "save yourself, little one".
Her claws release their hold on my back and I'm falling... falling so far. They surround me as I fall... cold, and dark... I know nothing else.
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The walk home feels longer in the dark. My feet scrape the sidewalk as I drag them along. A powerful breeze chills the air, driving people indoors. My face is red from the cold, and I bury my chin in my jacket to keep warm.
The glowing red welcome sign of a bar beckons to me with promise of indoor heating and amber scotch, not necessarily in that order of preference. I could use a pick-me-up after my failed hook up.
Warmth surrounds me as I enter the bar and unzip my jacket. The place usually smells of cheap alcohol and even cheaper meals, but now I hardly notice. I sit at a table far into the corner of the rooms and take out my phone.
1 missed message. It's from Cynder: "so sorry I ran out like that :( ".
"No, I'm sorry I pressured u to come over when I knew u had to study" I reply. Then I add, "is everything alrite?"
As I wait for her reply, I order a scotch.
Why did she leave like that? I know she had to study, but why did she run out? Maybe she knows... her roommate might've told her.
I fiddle with my phone, spinning it on the table. The screen lights up and I stop it to read Cynder's reply. But there's just a "low battery" warning and the screen goes black again.
But if she knew, why would she want to meet up again today? I mean, we hit it off well that night, but if she knew what I had planned to do, she wouldn't have wanted to meet again, right?
A waitress sets a glass of caramel tinged scotch on the table and I nod in thanks. The liquid gives a satisfying burn as I down half the glass
So that couldn't be the reason, she couldn't have known. But why then?
Did I move too fast for her? That would make sense, being that she acts so shy. But then why was she crying? Stress maybe.
I take another swig of the scotch, and pick up my phone. I go to contacts and edit Cynder's to display her name. I scroll down to make sure it's there. Big mistake... Because right above Cynder Skyline I see her name: "Crystal Whitewater". The name brings back memories amplified and distorted by the alcohol.
The first time we met, the first day of high school. Me showing off to her on my skateboard, her laughing playfully when I fall. Those days we just would lay in the field, looking at the clouds till the stars replaced them. Her cute smile, her adorable laugh, her beautiful red hair that smelled of fresh picked strawberries. The wind in her hair as we ran on the beach against the soft red sunset, like a scene stolen from a perfect love song. Her sparkling hazel eyes staring into me, her perfect lips pressed against mine.
It all speeds through my head in a blur, bringing a tear to my eye.
And there was Skip, loyal, always tagging along with us. We had bought him together, a tiny Golden Retriever puppy. We took the little guy everywhere, but his favorite place was the beach. He loved chasing the seagulls, barking as he ran across the sand. The way he would snuggle in my lap when he was tired, his cute little whine when his was hungry, those sad puppy eyes when he knew he did something wrong...
The waitress passes and I order another glass of scotch. I rest my head in my arms 'why do I even care. I thought I was done with that life. I thought I promised myself to never look back and live for the moment.
Yet my heart aches to have it all back. The memories of Crystal and Skip continue to flood my mind, drowning me in a sea of self pity.
It wasn't like there was any explanation, or reason given. She just up and left, leaving nothing but a scrap of paper behind. Didn't say where, didn't say why, just left a note on my bed that said one word "sorry". As if that made it all better.
I hear a clink on the table and look up to see the drink refilled. I sip a bit and play with an ice cube.
When Skip went missing too, I came to the conclusion that she must've took him. She broke my heart, took away my best friend, and practically stole my life away.
I take another sip of the auburn alcohol, hoping it'll make me forget,
A week later a friend had shown me a picture of "some chick who looks just like Crystal". He hadn't known about what happened and he "thought it was cool that the chick totally looked like her."
But it wasn't just a lookalike, it was Crystal on a boat with Skip... And she was kissing some guy, her new boyfriend by the looks of it. The picture was from the guy's Instagram, from which I found out that the love of my life was overseas... Far out of my reach and in the hands of a bigger, stronger, and probably richer man.
I down the rest of the scotch, wanting it all to just go away.
I had locked myself in my room for days after that, wallowing in terrible depression and heartache. "Why would she leave me?" was all I could think of for days after. There was no good reason. We were perfect... and then she just left out of nowhere, killing any bit of trust I ever owned. I couldn't do that again... ever. So I had promised myself to never fall in love again.
I lift my cup to my lips for more scotch, but it's gone. Instead, I melt an ice cube in my mouth.
After that I had changed. With love out of the way, the only thing that mattered was the bedroom. I started hooking up with easy girls and leaving them behind the next day. Yes, it felt kinda wrong at first, but Crystal had left a scar. I didn't want to put emotion into any of it again. So for about half a year, it was just girl after girl, lie after lie. I had known love so well that I could fake it effortlessly. And that's why I am what I am now... I would give anything to have Crystal and Skip back. I would give up this crazy stupid lifestyle for that to have never happened... But it's too late, it's all in the past now.
The memories continue to play through my mind like a sad montage. Maybe I could have that again with Cynder. She's nice, cute, and beyond beautiful... I sigh... but I just scared her off.
I look at my phone, the screen still black beside my empty glass. She hasn't even replied to my text yet.
She seemed so nice though. A girl like her would never leave like Crystal... maybe I could trust her. But Crystal was kind too, I remind myself, and look how that turned out. And, Cynder just ditched me without an explanation, just like Crystal. I close my eyes, picturing Crystal and Skip again. No, I can't trust her. I won't let it happen again. As soon as I've had my fun, I'll forget her like any other girl. The decision pains me inside, but it's nothing compared to the heartache I've felt in the past... when she ripped out my heart. It's the right choice, I convince myself, and I'll be happier this way.
The waitress clears my cup off the table and wipes it down. Our eyes meet and she gives me a reassuring smile. "Rough night, huh?"
"Yeah," I sigh, "and a bit of reminiscing about my ex."
"Single? A cute guy like you? I'm sure you could find someone if you stopped being so mopey."
I laugh bitterly, "oh, if only It were that simple"
She sits down across from me, "well the night isn't over and my shift is almost done... What do you say I help you take your mind off of her."
On any other night, I would've instantly took her up on the offer, but tonight I didn't feel it. I muster a smile, "thanks, but I'm just not in the game tonight."
"Oh... Um ok," she says, a bit offended. "I'll be here until 9 if u change your mind."
What's wrong with me... I never pass up a chance like that. I sigh as I get up from the table and walk towards the exit. I zip up my jacket and push open the bar door, flinching as the cool breeze chills my skin. I tuck my neck down in the warmth and head home, my mind a mess of melancholy memories, confused thoughts of Cynder, and alcohol.