Living The Dream

by Kickass222urmom

Who am I?!

"Click that one!" Break said with a excited voice as he stood behind Dawn.

Dawn sighed and shook his head, "No, I don't want to relive that one today." He then went back to scrolling through the list of memories.

Break huffed, "You know, fuck you man."

"Sorry Twi, it was an accident." They heard Lance say.

Break smirked and turned, "You know Lance, you can easily..."

"Shut it Break!" Lance thought.

Break chuckled and turned back to the Dawn and the memory bank, "Come on dude! Click it!"

Dawn turned and glared, "NO! I told you, I don't want to relive it!"

Break shrugged, "Fine, then I'll do it." He then walked around Dawn and began to scroll back up.

Dawn slammed into Break, knocking him away, "Dude, stop!"

Break just laughed, "Nice hit. Let me try."

He then head butted Dawn in the side, sending him to the ground.

Dawn stood and growled, "What's your problem?!"

Break began scrolling through the list again, "So many things."

Dawn grabbed the side of the computer, "That's it! I'm taking this away from you."

Break grabbed the other side, "You can take this from me! I want to relive Lance's first time!"

They pulled back and forth, trying to pull the computer towards themselves.

Break growled and pulled back furiously.

Dawn lost his grip and fell back.

Break smiled victoriously... until he heard a loud crash and the sound of glass breaking.

He looked down and cringed, "Well shit..."

Dawn walked over and bit his bottom lip, "That's not good..."

Break rubbed the back of his head, "I hope that wasn't too important."

I walked into the library, Twilight by my side, "Why did you have to come here again Twi?"

She smiled and walked past me, looking through the books, "Like I said at Dali's, I need to find my old book on spells."

I raised an eyebrow, "Twi, you have hundreds of spell books at home, why do you need another?"

She shrugged, "I don't know, just want to reread it I guess."

I rolled my eyes playfully and walked up to a shelf. I then saw a book that caught my attention, 'Love through the eyes of a dragon'.

What? I'm a sucker for a good romance... at least, I think this is a romance.

I pulled went to pull it off the shelf, but my hoof bumped another book, knocking it off.

Twilight turned and glared slightly.

I chuckled awkwardly and picked it up, "Sorry Twi, it was an accident."

[You know Lance, you can easily...]
{Shut it Break!}

I put the book back and grabbed the one I was after. I read the back and smiled. Oh yeah, this book was going to be good.

I turned and looked at Twilight, making sure she wasn't looking. I then slipped the book in my saddlebags.

What? I don't want her to know I like that stuff.

I slowly begin rummaging through the books, looking for some other books that interests me.

Sadly, there is none.

Man, I can't wait to get back and spend some time with Spark. I hope Dali is taking good care of him.

My head began to pound slightly. What the...

I fell to the floor, holding my head as a searing pain shot through it. I let out a yell of agony... okay a scream of agony, happy?!

Twilight ran over and looked at me with concern, "Lance! Lance, what's wrong?!"

I bit my bottom lip and looked up, "I.. I don't know..." I began to recoil around on the floor as the pain was increased.

I let out one last scream as my head slumped to the ground.

-----------------------------------

Twilight watched as her husband thrashed around on the floor, tears in her eyes.

Once he finally stopped, she feared the worst. What's wrong with him.

She ran over to him and crouched down, and held him.

"What the... Who are you?" She heard Lance ask.

She pulled back and looked at him strangely, "Lance?"

He raised and eyebrow, "Who are you?!" He began to thrash around and jumped away from her and stood.

Twilight stood, a tear in her eye, "Its me... Twilight..."

He backed away, "Twilight? What kind of name is that? Sounds like one of those gay Twilight fans."

She cringed at his tone of voice. It sounds like he's angry, "I'm... I'm your wife."

He looked confused, "What? My wife? I'm married?"

Twilight gulped, "Yes..."

He scratched the back of his head, "Strange..." He then rubbed his chin, "Why can't I remember anything?"

Twilight thought for a second, "I don't know... it may have something to do with Break and Dawn."

He raised an eyebrow, "Break and Dawn? Is that who's talking in my head. Because to be honest, they're freaking the hell out of me."

Twilight nodded, "That would be them." She then smiled, an idea coming to her, "I know! Maybe they know whats going on!"

Lance shook his head, "I doubt it, they sound like idiots."

Twilight chuckled, because she though the same thing, and began to focus her magic. She then charged the spell, and pointed it at Lance.

His eyes widened, "Whoa, cool it you freaking horse thing!"

She shot the magic out and collapsed. It hit Lance in the forehead and she slipped inside his mind.

Twilight opened her eyes to see the inside of Lance's mind. Good, she made it in.

She looked around till she saw Break and Dawn, but frowned at what she saw.

They was fighting, rolling around, hoofing each other in the face.

She growled, "BOYS!"

They instantly stopped and jumped up, "Twilight!"

Dawn pointed a hoof a Break, fear in his eyes, "He did it!"

Break shook his head furiously, fear also in his eyes, "No! He did it!"

Twilight stomped her hoof, "I don't care who did it! I want you to fix it!"

They both nodded furiously, "Yes ma'am!"

Dawn gulped, "But, its going to take... uhhh.... a few hours."

She glared at him and he fell to the floor, his hooves over his face, "Don't hurt me!"

She shifted her gaze to Break, who stood there bravely... for a few seconds before following Dawn's lead and hitting the deck, "Don't hurt the face!"

Twilight sighed, "Just fix him... please."

Dawn looked up and bit his lip, "We will, we promise."

Twilight glared again, "You better, or I'm coming back in here and..."

Dawn shrieked, "WE'LL GET TO WORK ON IT RIGHT AWAY!"

She smiled and charged her horn, "Great. I expect to have him back to normal within a few hours."

She then pulled herself from Lance's mind and back to her body.

Twilight stood and shook her head, "Those two... they're just like Lance in every way."

She looked at Lance.... but he wasn't there.

She began to panic, where is he?!

------------------------------------------------

I looked at the strange horse thing as it fainted. I though it was going to attack or something, but all it did was shot me with some kind of light. Strange.

I looked around and shook my head. I hate this place already.

I knocked my hoof against my head, who am I? Where am I?

I look around again and saw a door. I walked over to it and opened it.

Behind the door was the outside world. The position of the sun indicated that it was probably mid-afternoon or so.

I could see other horses... well, now that I look at them, they look like ponies. But why are they all different colors?

As I strolled down the street, they were all waving, being friendly. To friendly, I don't like it here.

A dull green one walked towards me, a smile on its face, "Yo, dude. Whats up?"

I looked at him strangely, "Who are you?"

He cocked his head, but then laughed,"Dude, its me, Greg."

I shrugged, "I don't know you."

He looked confused, "Wha? What do you mean?"

I looked around, "I think my memories gone or something."

Greg nodded for a few seconds, then smirked, "So, you don't remember anything?"

I shook my head, "No. Nothing but the past few minutes that is."

Greg clapped his hooves, "Great! I mean, do you want me to tell you your name."

I smiled, "Yes please!"

He smirked, "Your name is Bitch Magnet."

Bitch Magnet... I like it! "Cool, anything else I should know?"

He nodded, "Yes, you are the test dummy for the group. You let us beat the shit out of you and you take it like the bitch you are."

Damn... "That sucks... anything else?"

"Your my bitch, so that means, you give me all your money that you've earned."

Fucking damn!

I reached back to my saddlebag and opened it. I pulled out a small bag of coins and tossed them to him.

He caught them and smiled, "It actually worked!"

I cocked my head, "What worked?"

His eyes widened, "Nothing... Hey! You wanna go do what we always do?"

I scratched the back of my head, "Which is?"

He pointed behind him, "Three way with a mare."

My mouth dropped, "But that one purple pony said she was my wife. Why would I have a three way with another mare?"

He chuckled, "Purple pony? You mean the towns crazy lady. Don't listen to her, she's crazy and thinks everyone's her husband, even me."

I nodded, "Ah, I see..."

He turned, "Lets go fine us a mare, Bitch."

I shook my head, "I don't really feel like it..."

He stopped and nodded, "Yeah, I guess I shouldn't do it. Pinkie would rip my head off... and bake it."

"Pinkie?" I questioned.

He smiled, "Pinkie Pie, the craziest bitch you'll ever meet. She's make of pure awesomeness and fucking hot. And, she's great in bed."

I nodded, "Sounds like fun."

He smirked, "Oh, it is. I can assure you of that."

He turned again, "Lets go. I have to do something that I'm only going to get one chance with."

I smiled and followed, "Lead the way."

I stood outside of a bakery while Greg sampled Pinkie's contents.

I had to admit, this was boring.

As I stood there, a olive green mare walked up to me, holding a cup of coffee, "How's it going?"

I looked at her and raised an eyebrow, "And you are?"

She smirked, "Lose of memory?"

I nodded, "How did you know that?"

She smiled proudly, "I'm just that smart. Wanna help me with something?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

She chugged the remains of the coffee and throw it towards a trash can, "Follow me."

I nodded and followed her down the street and out of town. Then, she lead me down to a field and stopped, "I need you to test something."

I stopped and looked at her, "What is it?"

She smirked and stomped the ground. A single blue flower arose. She then picked it up and handed it to me.

I looked at it, "What's this?"

She smiled, "It'll give you your memory back. All you got to do is rub it on your body."

I smiled, "Yes!" I began to rub it on my body, getting every spot. Once done, I looked at her, "When will I get it back?"

She smiled, "The day you get your memory back." She turned and laughed, and began to walk away.

I stood there, confused. That was mean...

"Bitch Magnet!"

I turned to see Greg running towards me, "Hey Greg."

He stopped in front of me and held out his hoof, "Okay, for walking away you owe me another bag of bits, hand them over."

I sigh and open my saddlebag, and grabbed another bag of bits. I then tossed them to him.

He caught them and smiled, "Wicked. Now, lets go mess with that crazy lady."

[Fucking finally! That took forever!]
<Yay! We fixed the memory bank!>
[Hurry, turn it back on!]

What the fuc...

I felt a searing pain in my head and I screamed out in pain. I stumbled a few feet then fall to the ground, thrashing around.

I could feel and see memories coming back to me. It was like a wave of pictures hitting me in the face. I squeezed my eyes shut against the pain.

Greg walked over and leaned down, "You okay?"

My eyes shot open and glared, a low growl could be heard in my throat, "Bitch Magnet?! You fucking prick!"

Greg jumped back and stumbled.

I jumped to my feet and stomped over to him, "You fucking asshole! You almost made me cheat on my wife! You told me my name was Bitch Magnet! Even if I like the sound of it, I'm still pissed about it! And, you called me your bitch and took my money! Your in for a world of hurt my freaking stoner of a friend."

He smiled weakly, "Come at me bro."

I let my self relax and return to normal. I had beat the living hell out of Greg, but was careful not to do to much damage.

He lay on the ground unconscious, a smirk on his face.

I shook my head and leaned down and took back my bits. I put them in my saddlebag and looked in the direction Vinetion had walked, I though she said she wouldn't do any more pranks.

I looked at the plant she had given me. My eyes widened.

It was Poison Joke.