//------------------------------// // Ice-skating into Town // Story: Winter's Grasp // by Zman537 //------------------------------// I stood next to Octavia and Vinyl and looked around the town as we got off of the train station’s main platform. It was about eight to ten in the morning and on a different note, the thatched roofs of the buildings were something to see. I hadn’t seen anything like them since that vacation I took to England thanks to my college math teacher for half the cost of an official school paid trip and with four star lodging to boot. Mr. Wakeling was awesome like that. Not as awesome as seeing the seven other people he brought drunk out of their minds after only a pint of some pretty potent alcohol... but still awesome. “Wow... I wonder if I can find a pub here.” Vinyl tapped her chin with a hoof. “Well there is Berry Punch’s bar. Not exactly a pub, but it could work.” I grinned and stepped onto to cobblestone roads. “Cool, Now let’s get-” I was cut off when I started to move forward.... without walking. Um..... wat......the......fuck? Looking down I could see my feet gliding over the roads like butter. A quick peek behind me saw both Vinyl and Octavia looking at me as I got farther away. there was also this shiny trail following me. I just made black ice under my feet didn’t I? I slipped backwards and landed on my back and continued to slide forward. “God fucking....” I yelled back to Vinyl and Octavia. “Hey! As soon as this stops I’ll try to find one of you two, alright!?” Vinyl shook her head and waved back. “Sure thing dude!” I bounced off of something and started down a different road. I kept waving until I couldn’t see either of them anymore and just laid dumbly on the street.... still sliding. I sat up to wave calmly at the ponies as I passed them and looked at the buildings as they passed. The most common reaction was confusion or confusion and an awkward wave back. The were some rather interesting buildings in the town too. Like an overly fancy carousel, a freaking gingerbread house that I wish I could have eaten, Fucking ice says no to a snack break though...Dick. and some others that stated their business quite prominently. One of the buildings that caught my attention was the tree with small and probably sharp black rocks sitting haphazardly around the doorway. It wasn’t that interesting other than the fact that it had windows and a door cut into it along with the fact that I was headed straight for said door at a rather fast speed. This is going to hurt... a lot. I suddenly skid to a stop as the ice under me stopped forming and I had traction again. Or not. Thanks for not fucking me over ice. I think we’re going to get along fine until you do. I stood up and brushed the dust off of my legs and popped my back. “Okay tree of windows and illogicalness, what secrets do you hold in the world of puns.” I went up to the door and knocked. Shortly after, I could hear what sounded like a book hitting someone’s skull and a groan. “IT’S A PUBLIC LIBRARY! JUST WALK IN FOR CELESTIA’S SAKE!” I leaned away from the door slightly and felt a drop of sweat run down the side of my face. Of course.... of fucking course.... I pushed open the door and... was looking at a dude in a Skyrim t-shirt on a couch with a book on his head. The guy calmly lifted the book and peered through a doorway. “Yes. But it’s like 10 in the morning. So I doubt the sign is flipped.” He then rolled off of the couch he was laying on and landed on the floor. “Ow.” I just blinked a couple times as I stood in the doorway. “Um.... what the fuck?” Now don’t get me wrong, I was practically ecstatic that I had someone other than ponies and griffons to talk to, but.... what did I just see? He looked over to me and seemed slightly surprised before waving a little. “Hi.” He grabbed a black sword that I didn’t notice was laying next to him and was covered in freaking armor from nowhere. “Don’t mind me. Just woke up a little while ago.” I felt my jaw drop and pointed at him. “How the fuck did you do that?” If only he could tell me.... and fuck I still have my hood up and buckled. I reached up and undid the belt and pulled my hood back, revealing the stupidly white hair that was on my head now. “No seriously, how? I’ve been wanting to look normal since this whole clusterfuck of dimensions and shit started.” He pointed to his sword “Take thingy given.” He dropped it and his normal clothes returned. “Remove, and the armor goes away.” Never in my life...... have I felt more cheated. My face twitched in rage before I collapsed onto my knees and screamed. “FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!” I started to bang my head into the floor in rage and frustration. “GOD! DAMN! IT! JUST! GOD! DAMN! IT!” I laid on the ground and stewed in my fate when the other guy spoke up again. “And this rage is brought upon by..?” I raised my hand and showed him the fucking eye in my hand. “Ah. Hmm.... Try... Try focusing on getting rid of the armor. Just imagine having it go away.” I growled into the floor and was protesting existence by not moving to speak to him face to face. “I’ve been trying that for two days now.... Why does everything hate or fear me today? Just why?” “What is going on down there?” I grumbled as I turned my head to see a purple pony standing at the top of the stairs rubbing her face. She spotted me and facepalmed... or is it facehoof? Fuck it, I’m going to base every pony thing I see now with pony puns. It is the law of this land anyways so I might as well abide by it. “Great.... another one.” The other guy started to wave and smiled at the purple unicorn. “O hai Twi. I forgot to mention, but sorry for the rock candy around the door.” So he’s responsible for the razor walkway I pushed my front half off of the ground and stared at him. “I nearly shredded myself on those earlier. If they’re your fault, could you please fix the little bits of sharp rock that are out there?” I faceplanted back into the floor and started to roll off to the side. “Ignore me please. I wish to stew in my misery.” I kept rolling until I had the wall pressed against my nose. Just why.... If you answer me that lord I’ll become a believer, but until then WHY!? “What? I thought Barney Jr.... Oh.” After a few moments I heard him groan. “Hello headache, I thought you forgot about me.” I just kept stewing in my dark corner. I couldn’t care less about what the other guy was doing now. My hate for this stupid piece of fucking ice was just increasing tenfold. Eventually I decided to roll away again and saw that a purple tail was leaving the area... but it wasn’t a ponies. “Um... not going to ask.” I looked over to the Unicorn again and waved. “Hello. You going to run in fear screaming ghost too? I’m pretty sure a train load of snobby ponies are doing just that in... Baltimare.” God the pun tasted like acid on my mouth! She seemed a little put off by it before moving over to a desk in the room. “Nnnooooo.....” I nodded and sat up. “That’s good. Now there are five who aren’t scared shitless of me.” I could feel my head throb like someone had put a jackhammer inside and winced. “Do you by chance have any aspirin?” I jumped a little when the other guy handed me a plate of eggs. “Here. You’re suffering some drain in stamina. Food helps.” I took the plate and just used my hands to stuff a piece in my mouth. I almost dropped the plate at how good the eggs tasted and how much they reminded me of home. “Sweet Jesus, these are delicious....” I started to chow down on the eggs and they were finished in a matter of seconds. “Mmmmmm....... So good.” I felt my headache subside to a dull throb from the earlier pain and smiled. I could see the other guy holding back a chuckle. “Hungry much?” I pointed at him with a mock glare. “Hey, I’ve only had one meal in the past two days. Cut a guy some slack.” I stood up and handed the plate to.... a lizard?... schme, I’ll shake this guy’s hand first. “Name’s Zach.” Oh hey, I rhymed with my own name. He shook my hand and smiled. “Aleister.” I let go and he sat down on the couch. “Don’t mind the name...” I shrugged and sat down next to him with a grin. “Why would I? Sounds pretty cool.” He smiled a little. “Trust me... My parents thought it would be funny to name me that, wanna know why?” I put my hands behind my head and grinned. “Sure, let’s hear it.” He looked over at me and said, “To, and I quote, “Strike fear into Christians by letting them know I was named after Aleister Crowley, the satanist.” My parents were kinda fucking retarded.” I stared at him for about ten seconds before falling into a fit of laughter that was rivaled only by several people getting tickled by feathers. “Ooooohohohohoho god, my sides!” I kept laughing for a while and almost fell out off of the couch. “Dude, I’m a Christian!” He nodded a little. “Alright. I’m hindu. We’re just a melting pot of religion aren’t we?” I wiped a tear from my eye as I started to calm down. “Oh... at least your name is actually you name. I keep getting Jack Frost jokes thrown at me cause my favorite season was winter.” I looked up and sighed when I saw a strand of white. “And now my hair matches. Go figure.” He shook his head a little “I got called a water elemental all throughout my school. Mainly cause I love rain, and we have different opinions on favorite seasons... Meh, not like we’re arguing.” I nodded and grinned. “Everyone to their own and all that jazz.” I looked over to the unicorn and mentally facepalmed. “And I just realized that I haven’t asked for your name or the little guy’s.” The unicorn smiled a little and trotted closer. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this,” She pointed over to the lizard, “Is my assistant Spike.” She offered me a hoof and I politely shook it. Twilight sighed as she put her hoof on the ground. “You are a lot nicer than the last few of your kind that I’ve met.” I looked over at her with an arched eyebrow. “Come again? Last few?” I pointed over to Aleister. “As in, more than just this guy and me?” Aleister waved a little from the couch. “Well. There was this one guy. I apparently owe him money cause I didn’t die.” I scrunched my face in confusion before trying to voice my confusion. “But...wha? How does...?” He just shrugged. “I don’t know. Tits.” I just shook my head and looked over at Twilight. “Aaaanyways. It’s been a pleasure meeting you Miss Sparkle, but I must ask you something important in regards to my situation before I leave.” “Is it where the leprechaun's gold is hidden? Cause I’ve been looking for years.” I just looked over at Aleister before sighing. “No, it’s not. I’m being serious.” I looked back over to Twilight whom looked tired of Aleister’s antics. “Could you.... tell me what you know about Wendigos?” God, I hope her reaction isn’t like all of those pansies on the train... And they just saw me and assumed I was a ghost. Jackasses by the way. Twilight looked confused at my question rather than panicked. She was about to ask something when Aleister crunched down on something. I looked over an-...... is he eating a fucking rock? He looked at the crystal before saying, “This is not rock candy.” Ya don’t say!? Twilight sighed before looking at some shelves on the other side of the room while muttering to herself. “Why is he acting like that? I thought he was supposed to be a king...” She trotted over to the shelves and started to look for something. “Anyways, in regards to your question Zach, Yes I do have some material on the Wendigos. Unfortunately, it’s mostly old folk tales and a copy of the Hearth's Warming pageant.” Meanwhile, Aleister decided to throw the rest of the crystal into his mouth and I swear his eyes popped out of his head before he started to grin and swallow. “That was delicious.” He then grabbed a book and walked over to the couch and belched fire.... he belched FUCKING FIRE! The fuckity fuck fuck did I just see? “Ow.” I raised a hand only to shake my head and drop it immediately when he dropped though a trapdoor in the floor. I could also hear Aleister faintly call out his hate for gravity. If he hates gravity, then stairs must be his mortal enemy. “I keep forgetting that I promised myself to stop giving a fuck about the strange things I’ve been seeing since this started.” Twilight just looked at the hole in her library floor and facehoofed. “When did I get a trap door installed into my home again?” Spike flicked through a stack of papers on her desk and hummed. “Let’s see.... that would be, never.” HA! I like this kid! Twilight groaned while a book floated over to me in a lavender aura. “Here’s a copy of the Hearth’s Warming Pageant. I’m not sure how much help it will be, but it should at least answer your questions a little if not completely.” I nodded and gave Twilight a smile. “Thank you Twilight.” I turned to the door before stopping and turning back around. “Um.... would there by chance be a hotel in Ponyville?... and maybe a way to earn money?” I reached into my satchel and pulled out the book with the ‘pony-on-the-moon’ and the one with crystals on it. “I have books...” She narrowed her eyes as the books floated over to her. “Hm.... She put the moon book down and gasped when she saw the other one. “Where did you get this!?” I rubbed the back of my head. “Um.... At an abandoned train station near the Crystal Empire? Why?” She opened the book and nearly burst into tears. “Wh-who would treat a book like this!?... And a vintage edition too...” She looked at me with a glare and I felt.... tingley? Strange... better now dwell on it, angry, sharp, pointed creature in front of me. “You didn’t damage this book, did you?” I shook my hands in front of me and stepped towards the door. “No no no.... I found it like that. It and the other book were sitting inside the train station when I got there.” She looked back to the book before setting it down with a sigh. “Well... I can’t take the damaged one for much... but with the Nightmare Moon legend you brought, I could give you... about sixteen bits for the bunch.” I blinked a little before raising a hand. “Um... bits? You mean those gold coins that I’ve seen being used?” She nodded and I sighed. Of course they would have a horse pun for a name. She moved over to her desk and opened a drawer. There was a bunch of clinking before she sent a brown bag towards me. “There you go, Sixteen bits.” I opened the bag and found.... three coins? “Um... I thought you said sixteen? I just see a bronze, a silver, and an admittedly awesome gold coin.” Twilight just smiled. “The gold coin is worth ten bits, while the silver is five, and the bronze is one. A Platinum bit is worth a hundred if you ever find one, so you do have sixteen bits in that coin purse. Now about if there was a Ho-” “I’VE STRUCK IT RICH!” I jumped and looked at the floor in surprise. I just looked at Twilight as she trotted towards some stairs that were behind a large pair of doors. How did I not notice those? “One second. I have to make sure he doesn’t run off with my funding.” As Twilight moved down the stairs and started to yell at Aleister, I turned around to leave and soon wished I hadn’t. There were ponies of many colors, shapes, and sizes slipping on the trail of black ice I made upon arrival to the pun capital of existence.... Except the flying ones, they just looked confused as hell or slightly pissed... It was strange how I could tell just from looking at them. Oooh..... my bad.