To Be A Princess
Chapter One
“No, no, no! You’re not paying attention! Watch what I’m doing, then try it again!”
Twilight picked her head up off the ground and crossly spat a few blades of grass from her mouth. She had been paying attention. Just because she hadn’t mimicked the action correctly, didn’t mean she hadn’t been paying attention.
She allowed herself a few seconds of quiet reflection before gradually struggling to her feet. Her body ached all over. Each movement sent waves of insistent throbbing through every inch of her body. Her eyes watered as she attempted to hold herself steady.
Yet none of the pain bothered her as much as the criticism she was getting. The wholly unjustified criticism. She looked straight ahead, blinking very slowly and taking several deep, calming breaths.
At last she turned and tilted her head towards the sky and the palisades of the cliff from which she had mercilessly thrown herself. Staring down at her with an irritating mixture of amusement and frustration, was Rainbow Dash. Twilight mustered all of her self control and gave the pegasus a weary smile. Rainbow took this to mean that she could commence her display.
She stepped away from the edge and disappeared, giving Twilight an opportunity to roll her eyes. She knew she wasn’t going to learn anything from this. It was the same thing she had already seen countless times. Rainbow wouldn’t explain what she had done, how she had done it or what it was that Twilight was doing wrong. She would simply jump into the air and fly, taking no notice of her would-be student’s bewilderment.
This clearly wasn't the way forward. It wasn’t as though Twilight had never seen a pegasus fly before. It was just that she had never attached any importance to learning how they did it. After all, she could never have envisaged a scenario in which she would need to know.
She unfolded her wings and gave them a gentle little flap. They truly were unwieldy big things; unwieldy and completely useless. Yet she was determined to get this right. She folded her wings back against her side and watched the spot on the cliff where Rainbow had been.
Within seconds the pegasus had reappeared, galloping at full speed with her wings spread out impressively by her sides. A look of anticipation and delight adorned her features. Her run up complete, she gave a final, explosive kick of her hind legs which propelled her over the edge of the cliff. Once she was airborne, Rainbow gave two quick flaps of her wings before holding them perfectly steady and using the momentum she had already accrued to glide seamlessly through the air.
“See? Like that!” Rainbow bellowed, looking down at the ground to see if Twilight was watching.
The lilac pony's mind was struggling to make sense of what she had seen. Was it something to do with her speed? That kick off the edge and those flaps of her wings after takeoff had looked important. Or perhaps it was the angle of her wings at the start of the glide?
Twilight continued to watch as Rainbow performed a half barrel roll and began a diving descent. Upside-down and plummeting dangerously towards the earth, the pegasus’ face was knit with concentration. Just as it looked as though she might crash, Rainbow twisted her body so that she was upright once more and rapidly fluttered her wings, sending a burst of air beneath her to slow down. She brought herself to halt, hovering mere feet from the ground and only a few paces away from Twilight.
“Did you get it this time?” Rainbow beamed, clearly still under the illusion that her teaching methods were effective.
“Uh, I think... maybe,” Twilight shrugged, unwilling to admit that she hadn't.
“Awesome! Let’s go back up and try it again, then.”
With that, Rainbow darted off. Twilight swallowed hard, watching the pegasus go. At the very least, she had some new ideas. Who knew? Perhaps she would turn out to be right this time. Before she could back out, Twilight spread her wings and started flapping them energetically.
This, she could do. It was just a matter of rotating her wings properly and moving them quickly enough to stay airborne. There were plenty of books in the library which had covered this.
She tilted her wings slightly and made her way clumsily towards the cliff. If she could learn to do this, she could learn to do what Rainbow was showing her. It couldn't be that much harder.
Besides, this was important. Now that she had wings, she would have to learn to use them. It was necessary, Rainbow had told her, that she be able to fly, especially as a princess.
A princess.
Twilight found the very idea of it laughable. No matter what Celestia said, she wasn’t a princess. Nothing about her fit the description. She wasn’t wise; she wasn’t powerful; she wasn’t regal and she certainly wasn’t rich. About the only thing that did fit was her appearance and even then she didn’t have the long legs, sweeping wings and slender body that Celestia, Luna and Cadence had.
She still felt like a regular old unicorn, through and through.
Regardless of how she felt, though, she was still due to be crowned the newest member of Equestria’s royal court and the pressure was already mounting on her. She had so much to learn and no time in which to learn it.
Her coronation was the most talked about event in the land. In precisely three weeks’ time she was to be the subject of a lavish ceremony at Canterlot castle followed by a reception, a parade and a gala in her honour.
Speculation was rife about the specifics. Rumours flew about here, there and everywhere. Everypony seemed to know more about it than Twilight did and she found this slightly unnerving. She rarely went out in public any more. It seemed that any time she did, she was bombarded by crowds of well-wishers, many of whom were ponies she knew well; ponies who had no reason to treat her any differently than they had the day before.
The only ponies who weren't acting strangely around her were her five best friends, but even they seemed to have huge expectations of her.
Twilight felt Rainbow’s eyes boring into her skin as she came in for a wobbly landing atop the cliff. The pegasus watched her expectantly while she prepared herself for another attempt at the running takeoff.
Twilight cursed the fact that rainbow was probably right about this being something she would have to learn to do. She could see why it would seem peculiar if an alicorn princess couldn't fly properly.
She eyed up the drop nervously. It was no more than about forty feet, but the prospect was still daunting. She had already failed a few times before and she didn’t relish the idea of taking another tumble. After a few deep breaths and a few dozen steps backwards, she launched her assault.
Her hooves pounded roughly across the soft soil, sending shock waves through her legs. As the edge approached, a feeling of intense fear and excitement gripped her. Her stomach turned over and she became blind to all but the task immediately at hoof. When she reached the precipice, she gave one last powerful thrust from her hind legs and threw herself into the air.
Once she had left the ground behind her, Twilight beat her wings as hard as she could, trying to push herself forwards. When she felt as though she might be going fast enough she held her wings out to her sides; she kept them as level as possible and tilted slightly upwards. When she felt streams of air rushing under her feathers she thought, for a few brief moments anyway, that she had finally figured it out.
Soon afterwards, however, she began to fall. She flapped her wings frantically, but she couldn’t move them fast enough. The ground raced towards her at an alarming rate and despite her best efforts, there was nothing she could do. She was already falling too quickly.
With an almighty thud and another wave of searing pain, she crashed into the ground. The physical pain of the impact was soon followed by a feeling of utter despair.
She would never be able to do this. Surely it was impossible. Her wings, large and annoying as they might be, weren't nearly large enough to create enough lift to do what she expected of them.
Twilight rolled over, groaning, her eyes closed tightly. Moments later, she felt Rainbow land softly next to her.
“Y’know, I’m not sure you’re getting this,” the pegasus said condescendingly, looking at the loose pile of limbs that Twilight had become.
“Ya think?” Twilight retorted, her irritation getting the better of her.
“It’s not all that hard. Really. All you’ve gotta do is… I mean, you’ve seen me flying, right? There’s nothing to it. Flap your wings, don’t flap your wings, point your head up, down, hold yourself steady. Easy. Are you sure you’re paying attention?” Rainbow asked, sounding incredibly frustrated that her charge was so inept.
This statement, and the manner in which it was delivered, made Twilight’s blood boil. Did Rainbow think she was stupid? Of course she had been paying attention. It was just that she wasn’t doing a very good job of explaining things. Before she could stop herself, Twilight found herself yelling.
“Easy?! You think this is easy?!” she spat, wincing slightly as she sprang to her feet.
Rainbow stepped back, surprised by Twilight’s sudden intensity.
“I guess. I only meant that I’ve never seen you take this long to pick something up. Especially not something it didn’t take me very long to learn,” she replied, more gently, though not completely without scorn.
This didn’t help. Twilight’s shoulders slumped. She felt tears welling up behind her eyelids which she quickly blinked back. All of a sudden, she felt rather useless; rather impotent and distinctly unprincessly. It was exactly as Rainbow said. It had never taken her this long to figure something out.
On instincts alone, Twilight stood up and began walking away. She had to get out of there before she lost her composure. It wouldn’t do to let anypony see her as anything other than strong willed and imposing. She had to live up to her title. In her entire time as Celestia’s student, she had never once seen the princess cry.
She cantered blindly away from the cliffs.
“Wait! Where are you going?” a sharp voice called after her.
“Home,” Twilight answered.
She turned to face Rainbow, swallowing heavily. She wouldn’t let the pegasus see how much this was getting to her. She stared at Rainbow, trying to look formidable, silently challenging the pegasus to try to stop her.
Rainbow looked contritely at Twilight. She stretched out a hoof as though she was in fact going to try to convince Twilight to stay but then she appeared to think better of it.
Good, Twilight thought. Some time alone was all she needed. A chance to think. A chance to reflect.
“Oh… well that’s cool. Same time tomorrow?” Rainbow asked.
Not a chance.
“We’ll see.”
* * * * *
Twilight could think of nothing worse than finding a conundrum to which even the most studious research didn't provide a solution. It was typical, then, that learning to fly just happened to be one such problem. She sighed, putting her copy of Flying For Foals atop a growing pile of irrelevant textbooks. No matter where she looked, she couldn't find a book that adequately explained what she needed to know and she was growing increasingly frustrated.
It wasn’t as though she had asked for this. It had been thrust upon her. She had been quite happy being Twilight Sparkle, the librarian and unassuming resident of Ponyville. She had been quite happy learning about friendship and practising her magic at a pace that suited her. She had been happy reading her books and spending time with her friends.
Twilight stood up and walked over to a large glass case which contained the six Elements of Harmony. She opened the case and removed her crown, looking at it impassively before resting it gently upon her head. It felt much heavier than she remembered. It also felt distinctly uncomfortable. As she fretted with the crown, she caught sight of her reflection in the glass.
Staring back at her was a pony who looked distinctly scared.
The more she thought about it, the more she realised that she wasn’t ready to be a princess. It wasn’t just the fact that she couldn’t fly that worried her. There were a myriad of other reasons why she couldn’t do this. What if Celestia expected her to rule someplace or other, like she had with Cadence? What if she messed that up?
What if she had to help out with some of the royal duties that Celestia regularly performed? Meeting dignitaries from other nations or the like? Twilight was certain that she couldn’t do that. She had no idea what it would entail and much like her flying problem, there weren’t any books that she knew of which would explain it concisely for her.
She was on her own.
Twilight turned away from her reflection and trotted up some stairs towards a window on the second story of the library. She had always liked looking out of this window. It had views out towards the edge of town and the wilderness beyond.
She rested her muzzle on her hooves, staring wistfully into the distance. As she surveyed the horizon, she was grabbed by the overwhelming urge to run; to leave Ponyville behind and hide where nopony would ever find her.
She toyed with the idea, wondering where she might go and what she might do when she got there. Certainly, she would have to leave Equestria. There was very little chance that she could go unnoticed in any town or city in the country. There weren’t too many lilac alicorns around, after all.
No, she couldn’t do it. It had been a stupid idea anyway. If she had learned one thing from the time she had spent with her Ponyville friends, it was that running away from your problems is never the answer.
Before she knew what she was doing, Twilight had begun pacing. What could she do? She was trapped. There was no way out of this. She would have to go through with it and what then? What would happen after? Would she have to leave Ponyville? She couldn’t bare to move away from her friends. What if she had to go back to Canterlot? She would hardly ever see them.
Then there was her countenance. She had to be the very picture of a princess. Everything would have to be done just so. She had to be as everypony expected to be. She had to be prominent, attentive, sensible: infallible. It was her duty.
It was her destiny.
Twilight stopped dead and took a deep breath, holding her hoof to her chest. Then, in the manner Cadence had shown her, she let the breath out, extending her hoof in front of her. Her mind went blank for a moment and when it restarted, her thoughts came to her more slowly and appreciably less garbled.
Perhaps she was being a little irrational. Giving it a little more consideration, she realised that she didn’t actually know what other ponies would expect from her. These were her expectations of herself. There was nothing to say that this was how everypony else would feel. Perhaps they would be more forgiving. She was new to this, after all. They would probably understand that. Wouldn’t they?
Even so, they would expect to see some reason why she had been chosen for this position; some form of authority or a great talent for leadership. Something more tangibly royal than mere appearance.
With this in mind, Twilight trotted back to the library, searching the shelves for another book to aide her. Perhaps something on law? Or how to make speeches? Would there be something in the library that gave her some kind of insight into what Celestia actually did – that was, when she wasn’t saving Equestria from varying degrees of peril?
It wasn’t as if she could just ask Celestia. That would come across as being very rude, not to mention selfish. It would show just how wrapped up she had been in her own life, that she hadn’t even bothered to ask the princess about hers.
Twilight frowned as she perused the titles. There had to be something. If she had had any idea that this was where her life had been leading, she might have made more of an effort to learn about it before now.
All of a sudden, she heard a small knock at the door. She looked over her shoulder, startled by the interruption. If she was honest with herself, she had become somewhat wary of answering her door. It wouldn’t be the first time she had been accosted by somepony – usually a tourist from out of town – who simply wanted to shake her hoof and tell her friends that she had met Twilight Sparkle.
Bracing herself for the impending barrage of congratulations and requests for photographs, she grasped the door handle with her magic and cautiously opened it. Given her expectations, she was delighted to see that her visitor was a welcome one.
Standing on the doorstep, wearing a set of saddlebags across her back, was Fluttershy. The pegasus’ teal eyes sparkled softly from behind a lock of her pale pink mane. She smiled brightly at Twilight, who immediately stepped aside, allowing her to enter. Fluttershy accepted the silent invitation, trotting merrily across the threshold.
“So! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Twilight asked, turning to face her friend.
A short silence followed, during which Fluttershy simply stared at Twilight, as though something about her was utterly mesmerising. The smile she had worn earlier had been replaced by an expression which could only be described as… Quizzical? Perplexed?
Bemused by this behaviour, Twilight began tilting her head in an attempt to catch the pegasus’ eye. When Fluttershy finally noticed what Twilight was doing, she immediately averted her eyes, letting out a little squeak as she did so. How peculiar?
“Oh, um, nothing in particular,” Fluttershy answered, awkwardly tracing circles on the ground with her left forehoof.
Twilight continued watching the yellow pony, trying to assess the situation. Fluttershy was acting very strangely. She looked guilty, as though she had been caught doing something she ought not to have been doing.
“What was… never mind. Nothing? Are you sure? It’s an awfully long way to have come for nothing,” Twilight stated, trying to keep the conversation natural.
Fluttershy shook her head.
“Oh, no. It wasn’t nothing. That is to say, it was something. See, I was talking to Rarity and she said that Rainbow Dash had told her you were struggling – I mean that she was trying to teach you to fly.” She smiled vaguely and flapped her wings, as if to illustrate what she meant.
“So I thought that, I mean if you’re not busy or anything, and because Rainbow had said you weren’t finding it so easy. Maybe I could help?”
She looked nervously at Twilight, as though she had reevaluated the situation since originally making the decision and now wished she hadn’t said this. She blushed and looked back at the ground.
“Oh. Well, I’d be grateful for any help,” Twilight responded apprehensively.
So, Rainbow had said she was struggling? That was a little upsetting. Although maybe some good might come of it. A fresh perspective could be useful. Though what exactly Fluttershy might be able to offer, Twilight didn’t know. The pegasus usually preferred to keep her hooves on the ground.
Fluttershy perked up again, clearly happy to see that her help was appreciated. She opened her bags, rummaging around inside with her muzzle and eventually withdrew a small dark blue book. She offered it to Twilight, who took it and began leafing through the pages.
There was a great deal of text on each page, all written by hoof, as well as a number of diagrams of wings and feathers. There were even a few drawings of entire ponies, their bodies formed into a variety of different shapes.
“It’s my notebook from flight camp,” Twilight heard Fluttershy explaining quietly.
She nodded, not looking up from the pages of the little blue book. It was fascinating. She stared at one diagram of a wing which had all of its feathers labeled immaculately. Below this was a small block of writing, explaining what the purpose of each individual feather or group of feathers was for.
On the next page, there was a paragraph outlining something to do with flight speed and direction. Further on, there was an explanation of how to counteract crosswinds using the position of one’s wings and body.
Twilight closed the book and looked up at Fluttershy, who immediately began trying to explain herself.
“I know Rainbow Dash has probably told you most of this already. I just thought that maybe having it all written down might help. I mean, I’m not the best pony to teach you this. I was never a very strong flier, but I always gave it my best. It was so embarrassing when everypony else was able to do all this and I wasn’t.
“Anyway, I guess I was just a slow learner, but I got there in the end and so will you. Everything I ever learned is in there. So maybe it’ll help. And don’t worry if you don’t get it right away – not that you won’t. I just mean that it’s really hard. So just take your time, okay?”
Twilight had never felt as grateful for anything in her life as she felt for this notebook. It may have been written by a filly, but it was written by a filly who had been in exactly the same position then as she was in now.
Twilight walked over to Fluttershy and threw her forelegs around the pegasus’ neck.
“It’s wonderful, Fluttershy. I don’t even know what to say except, thank you,” she exclaimed, her voice catching a little.
Fluttershy blushed again and started idly twisting her mane around her hoof.
“Oh, it’s no problem,” she muttered.
Twilight trotted over to her desk, giving the little book pride of place upon its surface. She was so excited to read it. As much as she had appreciated Rainbow’s help, this promised so much more. She could hardly wait to get started. It would have to wait though. She had a guest to deal with at the moment.
The rest of Fluttershy's visit passed in a flurry of conversation. They spoke about everything from the weather, to the happenings in their friends' lives and, although the pegasus did make a passing comment about the coronation, it was only to say that the five of them had received their formal invitations.
When evening began to fall, Fluttershy announced that she had better leave in time to give her critters their last meal of the day. Twilight rose to see Fluttershy out.
“Goodbye, Fluttershy, and thanks again for the notebook,” Twilight said as she held the other pony in a friendly hug.
“Oh, that’s alright. I’m just glad I could help. See you soon," Fluttershy replied softly as the two separated. "Oh, and um, you look nice in your crown. Very royal.”
With that, she smiled broadly and began trotting off back towards her cottage, leaving a flustered Twilight to hastily remove the Element of Magic from her head.