“I never felt so lost, like everyone was miles away. And yet somehow, I remained in the room.”
Chapter 13
Silence. That’s all that remained in the room. Tension filled the air, thick enough to wade through. A wooden mug clanked on the ground, the one previously in Fluttershy’s hoof. Her muzzle remained blank, not exactly expressionless, but inexplicably stricken with horror. The utter disbelief radiated from her very being, and it began to be accompanied by anger. After what seemed like ages, the silence suddenly disappeared.
“No...”
Rarity jumped, startled by Fluttershy’s voice. She had braced herself for it, but she still didn’t see it coming. She was unaware what her friend’s reaction would be. She spoke, but she did not hear her words as they escaped into the room. “Dear... I thought... I thought you knew.”
“No...” Fluttershy shook her head in simple denial. It was as if she was refusing a service; it was casual. “No... I don’t believe it.”
Rarity winced, wounded by the difficulty of the moment. She felt as if she was salting a scar of Fluttershy. “Fl-”
“NO!” She yelled, so loud that all conversation around the three ceased muted immediately, probably because of Fluttershy’s common scolding of the pirates. It was instinctual to stand at attention to the pegasus whenever she yelled, but now they were unsure of what to do. “NO! You’re a FUCKING LIAR!” Fluttershy stood aggressively, knocking the table over. Rarity flinched as if she were about to be slapped, but she stood her ground, a lump forming in her throat. “You’re FUCKING LYING!”
“Dear, please,” Rarity tried to reason.
“No, no, bullshit! I don’t FUCKING BELIEVE YOU!”
Spike clenched his fist and looked away, frustrated he wasn’t able to do anything. After all that happened, after finally uniting... this had to happen.
“Fluttershy, please! I don’t want to believe it either, but it’s true. For a while now.”
Fluttershy started to hyperventilate, and her eyes darted around the room. At a lower tone, she repeated, “No...” She fell on her knees. “No... What...” Fluttershy groaned a soul-wrenching sob, as tears ran down her eyes like loose sand. “What the fuck do we do now?” She gritted her teeth, sobbing again. She tried to stop, in vain. “What do I do now?”
Rarity looked cautiously at Spike, who avoided her gaze. She stepped towards Fluttershy tentatively, like she was navigating through a minefield. She put a hoof on the pegasus’ shoulder, and exhaled. “We have to do what we’ve done so far, dear. We move on. She’d want us to.”
Fluttershy tensed up in anger, and shot up to Rarity and put both hooves on her neck. “You don’t fucking understand, Miss Rarity! I was counting on her! Everything was riding on the elements, THAT’S WHY I FOUND YOU. That’s why I looked for you! But now?” She looked at the ground as she kept hold of her friend. She slumped to the ground. “There’s nothing we can do. The world’s fucked and there’s nothing I can fucking do.”
Fluttershy’s sobs ended, and she sniffed. Tears stopped, already wasted on other things before in her life; menial things. “Then there was no goddamned point. There was no point. I could’ve left Pinks to her life after I saved her, and you could’ve just lived in that stupid ass cave all your life, fucking Spike over and over again until the end. That would have been better for you than dragging your asses out for no... no reason.
“And now what do we do, just sit and wait to die? What the fuck do we do...”
It had seemed the whole ship was quiet. No one spoke, no one dared say a thing. Rarity just stared at her yellow friend in a stunned silence. Everyone just stood. Until, shockingly, a talon came out of nowhere and grabbed ahold of Fluttershy’s pink mane. She was jerked up violently, and having no time to react, was pulled into a feathery chest at ner mach-speeds. Fluttershy’s eyes shot open, and she opened her mouth to yelp, but any attempt was muffled out by the feathers. The sight was alien and indistinguishable for a moment for Rarity, until much to her surprise, Vex had scooped up Fluttershy into her arms, giving her a big hug. Fluttershy’s first reaction was to sock the griffin in the face, but as the situation sunk in, she embraced the griffin herself, relaxing her muscles and letting spare tears run down her face again. Vex’s expression betrayed her friendly gesture, as she gave Rarity the most evil and burning glare a griffin could ever contort her face into. It was beyond her usual scowl, no, it was a wild and animalistic rage, the kind that is only quelled by blood, or so it seemed. Rarity looked away, ashamed, even though she knew it wasn’t her fault.
“What the hell is going on here?” The first words spoken in a while came from the Captain himself, just having entered the room. As soon as he saw Fluttershy, murder consumed his eyes, and he began angrily trotting to the distressed Rarity. In a voice that intimidated everyone in the room, Patch snapped. “What the fuck did you do to her.” It was spoken slowly, but sharply, and Rarity actually began to fear for her life, despite knowing he didn’t stand a chance against her. Before limbs could be chopped off, Fluttershy spoke in a relatively calmed tone, although it wavered a little with her previous sobs.
“She didn’t do anything, Patch.” Fluttershy said sincerely, walking away from Vex and wiping away her tears. Both Patch and Vex froze a bit, forgetting their anger as she called out the Captain by name. Fluttershy sighed and faced Rarity once again, wiping her eyes. “How are we gonna break it to Pinks?”
Rarity reared her head a bit and arched a brow. “Doesn’t she already know?”
“You’d think she’d tell me.” Fluttershy replied, uttering a dry chuckle. “No. I don’t think she knows. They were close.”
There was a silence again, and no one dare look in another’s eyes. Suddenly, Vex- of all people- chimed in. “I’ll do it.”
Spike stepped forward, pushing his unicorn aside. “Excuse me?”
“I’ll tell her,” she clarified, annoyed.
“Hah. No.”
“Wot?” Vex, genuinely confused, first showed a sign of curiosity, but this was replaced by frustration and anger. “Why the fuck not?”
Spike stepped closer and fully raised himself on his hind legs, effectively towering over her two and a half times. Although she physically did not waver, she really regretted snapping as the dragon bared his teeth. “Like I’m going to trust a griffin we all barely know to a friend a decade old. Fat chance. Doesn’t help you’re a bitch.”
Vex threw all instinct of self-preservation out the window and put a talon on Spike’s chest. “What the fuck are you on about?! You haven’t gave a shit ‘bout her for more than a few years! I probably spoke to her more than you have, you big fucking purple dildo!”
Spike growled, but before he could get a shot off, Fluttershy came in between them. “Hey, Spike!” She had a hoof on his chest, a tentative one, and she stared into his eyes with the softness he knew her of. “...Let her do it.”
Spike had been lured into a strange stupor by Fluttershy’s now out-of-place solemn sincerity, but as she excused Vex he stuttered, “W-what? Why?”
“Look, I’ve known Vex for a while, and I know she can be a huge bitch...” Fluttershy took a moment to look back at Vex and smile innocently, to which Vex pouted. “...But she’s one of the few I trust, okay? I’ve known her longer than I’ve known you guys.” Spike’s eyes were seething with protest, but his demeanor betrayed him. Fluttershy wasn’t sure he was convinced, so she added one last thing. “Plus, they get along.”
“Pinkie gets along with her?” Rarity suddenly blurted before thinking.
“Stranger things have happened,” Vex quipped, before adding “You got a boyfriend, for example.”
Spike gave another violent growl, and Fluttershy just sighed. “Look. Just... shut up. All of you. Everything just fell apart right now. I can’t believe Dash is dead.”
“Wait,” Patch stepped forward, still solemn. “Dash... as in Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty? She’s dead?”
Fluttershy kept her head down and sniffed. “Yeah. Looks like none of this had a point, huh Cap’n?”
Patch’s being told all his sympathies, all his understanding. His face contorted to that of a child watching a dog die. He was so sorry, but there was no way to convey just how. So he stayed silent and stared at his yellow pegasus, the one stomped on by life, with it kicking dirt in her face. This inability to help frustrated Patch to the point of tears, yet he did not cry. He couldn’t. He just had to watch, and that was the only consolation he could provide; that someone cared.
Maybe it was enough.
...but it didn’t feel like it. Patch broke down those barriers of helplessness and decided he was going to do something about it, even if he couldn’t. With resolution, he smiled. “It wasn’t for nothing, Fluttershy.”
She looked up instinctively, as she did when she heard her full name from her Captain. After a while, she gave an empty smile. “I find that hard to believe Cap’n. We need all the elements, that’s what that letter said.”
“Who cares? We started this, and we have to finish this,” Patch said. Aside, no one noticed except for a certain white unicorn that Vex’s frown and scowl cracked, if only for a moment. She dropped her head down in order to hide this. This peaked Rarity’s curiosity, as she had believed Vex to be as careless as she was rude. It must’ve been something about Patch or Fluttershy that had sparked compassion. What sort of ties did those three have?
“Captain, we have to be realistic!” Fluttershy yelled through the crust of dried tears. “There’s no hope left, alright? And the last thing we need is false hope.”
Rarity noticed her window, and interjected. “Not exactly, dear.” Everyone turned to the ex-fashionista, all unexpecting her voice to rise in the conversation. Even Spike eyed her questioningly. “I mean, think about it; the elements are finicky things. Not even we, the beares, know the full extent of their properties and powers.”
“What’re you trying to say, Miss Rarity?” The question came from Patch, which was odd because he sounded very civil as he questioned her. Their previous altercation must’ve been forgotten somehow. Maybe because of how desperate he was to give Fluttershy hope? He would’ve accepted help from anyone, Rarity guessed. She never thought about it before, but it really was sweet how extensive he looked after her, and Vex by extension.
“I’m saying we don’t know if there’s another element of loyalty lying around somewhere. I remember Fluttershy saying that part of the letter was revealed when Mister Gavin happen to touch it. He obviously bears some elements of kindness within him which allowed him to do so. Maybe we could find someone capable of bearing the full element, enough to use it to help with these letters of yours.”
“That’s... interesting, Rare... but I don’t think it’s enough to go on,” Fluttershy rebutted through a broken voice.
“Well think about it this way then...” Rarity cleared her throat, grinning. “Celestia and Luna were bearer of all six elements at one time. Then Celestia bore them herself after Luna’s betrayal. Then she gave up the responsibility and allowed us to use them next. If Dash was killed, wouldn’t that mean the element would be passed on like before, assuming it worked like a gift you were born with? I’m sure with enough searching, we could find somepony- er, someone- that exhibited the qualities of loyalty, or held the passed torch of it. Which means our mission can still be possible to complete.”
Everyone just stared at the white unicorn mouths agape, unable to contradict her logic and reasoning. The only one who looked skeptical was Fluttershy. “I don’t know, Rare... what if we risk it all and it ends up failing?”
“That can happen at anything you attempt at Fluttershy,” Rarity said, a spark in her eye. “You still have to try. Besides, we’re going to help Twilight, right. She has a book on the elements. We can cross-reference with that.”
There was an unearthly silence as everyone stared at their yellow pegasus, waiting for her to speak. After what felt like an eternity, and it probably was, she finally scoffed and horribly attempted to hide a smile. “Dammit, Rare. Alright, fine, we’ll keep on fighting.” A slow, graceful turn to Patch was executed by the deeply scarred pony. “Isn’t that right, Captain?”
He smiled, and so did Vex, this time not trying to hide it. There was obviously some sort of inside referential subject they shared, and Patch gave another vague statement. “Never stop fighting, amirite?” Fluttershy chuckled at this leaving the others rather confused. They let it slide however, as it seemed everything was finally lightening up. All that was left was to inform Pinkie Pie.
That was when something became awfully apparent. Everyone, everyone was staring at them. None of the friends had noticed that the entire gallery had been spectating this debate from the beginning, as soon as Fluttershy had started breaking down. They all had shut up at the time, completely quiet, concerned for their heartbroken leader. Now that everything was fine however, most just beamed, while others returned to their business, hope now pulsing within them. The entire party, discluding Patch, blushed, embarrassed at their aired dirty laundry. However, the outbursts were quite necessary as it eliminated having to inform everyone of the mission update.
Vex groaned loudly, annoying Rarity, and hid her blush with her talons as she always does. “Arrghh whatever, I’m going to break the news to Pinks... God knows it’ll be less painful than... getting castrated.”
“Well you must know what that feels like, huh, hun?” Rarity quipped slyly, rather an out of character comment as observed by Fluttershy.
“Erg, eh... w-.... ah fuck you.” Vex gave up and walked away, sticking up her middle talon as she left, most of the party unsure of what the gesture meant.
Fluttershy leaned up against a wall while Patch followed and did the same. She gave one long exhale and rested her head on his neck, closing her eyes. “A storm of shit, really. That’s what this is, aye?”
“Heh... aye.” Patch replied, oddly comfortable. “You know, Fu’shy... I’m with ya ‘til the end, and it doesn’t matter what happens, you’ll make the right decisions. You won’t even have to try.”
Rarity and Spike left for their room without a word.
“Fat chance, Cap’n. Sorry if I don’t believe that.” Quiet for a second. “But thanks... for everything really.”
“Feels like only yesterday, doesn’t it? That we sat like this.” Patch put his foreleg around Fluttershy like it was nothing. It was anything risque or flirtatious... rather, it was so natural, like two friends with a mutual understanding. “Remember? Just yesterday.”
“Maybe for you. You hadn’t changed that much that day.” Fluttershy said with a chuckle, sounding incredibly exhausted.
“Well I... I wouldn’t say that exactly. Someone like you... well it was just what I needed, maybe. I don’t know. Maybe.”
And with that...
Ponies change.
Vex never thought that shit could get this hard. She once got shot in the ass with a musket ball and Patch had to scrape it out using his teeth, but Vex foresaw her task with being about as twice as awkward and as unbearingly painful. She had been standing outside of her and Pinks’ room for a good ten minutes, just staring at the poorly constructed doorknob. The only actions she committed so far were a couple of uncommon sighs. Still, Vex felt bad for not telling Pinks the truth in the first place. All of this could have been avoided.
The one thing she refused to remember was considering rubbing the death of her friend in her face out of jealousy. There was no way she could continue living if she had actually done that.
Another thing was the actual deed in front of her. How would Pinks react? Would dhe lash out in anger like Fluttershy? Would she go into denial and refuse to believe Vex? The fear of breaking the pink pony haunted the griffin to the core. There was a coldness in her chest now, and her limbs felt light.
Now having to manually breathe, blink, and move, she slowly opened the door, absolutely terrified what was on the other side.
As the door swung fully open, the sight was chillingly tame. Pinkie Pie was cheerily humming as she rearranged some things in a small drawer, acknowledging Vex’s presence with a high tuned “Hello~”
Vex had to sound out every syllable in her head before speaking a word. She had forgotten to properly talk. “H-hey... Pinks...”
All that was left in the room was Pinks’ out of place humming. It infuriated the griffin to no end. This would have been a lot easier if the pink pony had been in a foul mood.
“Yeah, Vex?”
“There’s something I gotta tell ya, man.” Vex kept her voice level, trying not to lead Pinks suspicion. Vex thought it had failed horribly, and she winced as a result, but much to her surprise Pinkie Kept fiddling with the drawer. Vex realised that she needed the conversation to dip at some point, so she decided to just drop it and hope for the best. “It’s not good.”
To this, Pinkie stopped. She just stood with her hooves in the drawer, and did not move. Vex had mentally pictured a smile on Pinkie’s face, but now it came apparent that Vex could not see her face. Vex was behind Pinkie, so her expression was a mystery to her. It became increasingly difficult to picture Pinkie’s stupid grin.
“In fact, its... downright shit. Just absolute... shit.” The air became thick for Vex, and Pinkie remained motionless.
“Is that so?” Pinkie still sounded cheerful, but her voice... resonated less, or something.
“Yeah... I,” Vex cut herself off. “I’m sorry, first of all. Just... Sorry. For lying. I guess. I- I. I mean.”
“Just get on with it.” Pinkie’s voice reached sub-zero temperatures.
“...” Can I say it? “...” Can I really do this? “...” No I can’t. “Pinks...” But I guess that never stopped Patch. “Rainbow Dash... She’s...”
“She died. A while ago.”
“....”
“....”
“...Yeah.” Pinkie’s voice was strange. It sounded the same. “Yeah she did.” Pinkie finally moved out of the drawer and trotted to the other side of the room, to a small chest that belonged to her. She opened it and took out a few things: balloons, streamers and random party favors, all while talking normally to Vex. “I mean I guess it makes sense and all. She was always doing dangerous stuff and all.”
Vex wanted to back away, out the door, but she just couldn’t. She looked at Pinkie with an increasingly frightened expression.
Pinkie continued taking out objects of the chest, more than enough than could possibly fit into it, as her voice became more strained. “You could really expect it to happen eventually considering her work. She would always do the really DANGEROUS tricks for her FUCKING wonderbolts, and they would NEVER pay attention to her.” She began to laugh, strangely, as tears fell down her cheeks. “Because they would never accept someone as nice and honorable as Dash until she was older because IT WASN’T HER TIME OR SOMETHING,” Pinkie’s laugh and smile turned to dreadful tears and violent sobs. Vex turned away, unable to watch or walk away. “WHY COULDN’T THEY JUST LET HER JOIN EARLIER, I MEAN WHY NOT? OH GOD, WHY COULDN’T SHE- OH GOD, OH MY GOD, OH GOD, OH MY FUCKING GOD” She began thrashing her her hooves on her various party related things with a strength unmatched to what Vex has seen of her so far. Fragments of breakables flew through the air as she screamed and sobbed and screamed and sobbed. Vex had left her alone until she started whacking her face on the floor. Vex immediately flew towards her before she could seriously injure herself seriously. Vex put her arms around her and yelled into her ear.
“Hey! Hey! Stop it, stop! It’s okay dammit! It’s okay.” Pinkie stopped thrashing and screaming and just... cried. She cried so loudly. It was only muffled by the feathers absorbing the tears. Vex couldn’t believe she was going through this twice in one day... but it wasn’t important. Pinkie Pie was important. Vex remained still for her friend for as long as she needed. Because when you got right down to it...
They were all in the same boat.
“I guess... I guess I kinda always knew. I mean... I never heard about it... but when something like that happens to a friend like Dash? You get this tingly feeling in the back of your mind. You want to ignore it, to just plow through the day like normal, but the tingle will always be there. A wound that’d never heal, y’know?” Pinks’ head remained in the griffin’s chest since the little incident, and it was about half an hour later. Vex didn’t mind, for the first time that she could remember. She was just glad she could be there.
“Uh. Sure, I suppose.” It still didn’t make the whole scenario awkward and incredibly unfamiliar for Vex. Pinkie noticed once again how small the griffin was, only about an inch taller and just as big as the pony, if not a bit thinner. And those faded purple feathers that loosely covered her eyes seemed to be glossier than usual...
“Y’know... I’ve had a little crush on Fluttershy for a while.” Pinkie chuckled for the first time in thirty minutes. Vex was so happy for a subject change.
“Yeah, heh. It’s kinda obvious.” Vex thought for a moment. “Well, just for me apparently. I don’t think anyone else knows. I’m sure it won’t take long for that prissy unicorn to find out, she has an annoying attention for detail.”
“Yeah. I mean, normally Fluttershy’s pretty average. Well she’s pretty, but not like a goddess or anything. Back then, her cuteness and innocence was what gave her an advantage. But now... damn, she’s a woman that can take charge.”
Okay... okay this was getting a little weird for Vex now. Still, she didn’t want to just leave. “Uhh... right...” Why does she have to be talking about Fluttershy that way? I mean Futtershy? Yuck. Why does she have to be talking like this at all?
“I like ponies that can take charge.”
...Uhhhh. “...Uhhhh.”
“Too bad Fluttershy looks like she’s straight as an arrow.” Pinkie gave another short laugh. The return of casualness of the talk eased Vex a little again, who resolved to leave in a few minutes.
“Of course...” Pinkie Pie reared her head and looked at Vex with big, starry eyes. Vex was a little confused now, what was she going on about now? “I guess it doesn’t have to be a pony.”
...WHhHhhHaAAaaaAA? “Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah. Pinks, where is this going?”
“I’ve only met a couple of griffins before. I never got the chance...”
“What does that have to do with cghk!” Vex was interrupted by Pinkie jamming her entire fucking muzzle down Vex’s beak and ramming her tongue down her throat. Vex’s immediate reaction was to claw the pony’s heart out, but that was before the sensation of Pinkie’s kiss came through.
It gave Vex pause, only because of the absolutely alienness of the feeling. Pinkie was... warm. Really, really warm. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Vex had spat before and saw other ponies spit, and it always looked gross, and cold. But... when the saliva and soft cotton that was the pony’s mouth completely enclosed around her jagged beak, she achieved a state of absolute fiery intensity that would only be matched by walking in fire, but without the burning. Her tongue fought with Vex’s slightly more angular one, and Vex became hopelessly mesmerized by the enriching experience. She forgot what was happening. She forgot where she was. That was, until Pinkie retracted.
At some point Vex closed her eyes, apparently, because she had to open them again. She saw Pinkie’s face contorted with a combined expression of empathy and joy. “That was weird... a beak, heh. Uh... you’re drooling.”
“Whagh?” Vex hadn’t exited her stupor yet, until she realized what Pinks had just said. “O-oh,” She raised a talon and wiped her beak, taking a hanging string of saliva with it. “I uh... I just...”
“I’m sorry,” Pinkie said, sparing her friend from the difficulty of making words. “I shouldn’t have done that. I didn’t give much warning and- oh, you're probably not even into ponies...” Pinkie Pie comically raised a hoof and beat her head with it. “Stupid, stupid, stupid...”
“What about you,” Vex found herself blurting out. Pinkie Pie looked the other way, ashamed.
“It varies. Donkeys, zebras, mules, ponies, griffins, males, females... I’m just attracted sometimes, sometimes I’m not.” She cleared her throat before adding softly, “Bunnies on one occasion...”
Bunnies? Vex thought in a moment of clarity. I’ll... yeah just forget that. “Well... you’re wrong about me.”
“About what?” Pinkie asked innocently, cocking her head.
“Pinks, I...” Vex rubbed her head for a moment, unsure how to phrase it. She decided to just throw a brick. “I have a pony fetish.”
Pinkie just sat there, dumbfounded. After a second or two, she started to laugh as if she told a joke. “Ohh, ho ho ho, you, you like ponies, but you’re straight, I remember that little talk we had.”
Vex finally blushed, the situation she was in being drawn way too out. There was no way to convey her feelings that didn’t make her sound like a ponce. “No, Pinks. I... I swing both ways, dammit.”
Pinkie was just confused now, looking at Vex like she was crazy. “Then what’s stopping u-oooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh....” As she finally came to what Vex was saying, they both sat, awkwardly facing each other. “Then...” Pinkie lunged forward, taking Vex by surprise and making her yelp, only she didn’t yelp as Pinkie already had her tongue back in her beak. This time, Vex became accustomed more quickly and held Pinkie’s mane as they kissed. Vex also didn’t close her eyes this time, for reasons she couldn’t figure out. However she found Pinkie had her eyelids closed so she decided it must have been normal to do that. After a few minutes, Pinkie awkwardly ended the make out session and looked at the griffin with concern. “Umm... you’re not...?”
“What?” Vex asked, delayed and emotionless. It took her a moment to comprehend what she was implying, and when she did, she became embarrassed. “Oh! I- uh. I don’t exactly... know... how... to.”
Pinkie instantly broke into a finally characteristic huge grin and squealed. “AHH! OH MAI GAWD, A VIRGIN!” Before Vex could even protest, she changed back to her previous demeanor and gave her griffin partner some bedroom eyes. “I guess I’ll take the reigns then.” She leaned Vex all the way on her back and began to chuckle.
“Uhh,” was all Vex could manage through her accelerated heartbeat and nervous adrenaline. Pinkie began to kiss her again, not only on the mouth, but on her neck, on her chest, on her stomach, on her flanks, and finally...
Vex got the hang of it real quickly.