//------------------------------// // Chapter 5: A Look Into the Life of a Drunken Twilight // Story: Twilight and Her Nutty Teacher // by FlameSwordedLink //------------------------------// A/N: First off: This is not what I originally was going to do for this chapter. I also want to say that I did not mean for the hiatus to go this long. I will have another chapter out later today for the waiting, and I will have three new stories to work on after that. I will have a schedule posted with the stories in the lower author's notes. Thank you for being patient, and enjoy the story. ...Now I just need to figure out how to tie this in with the story.... Twilight awoke in the hospital with a terrible migraine. ...Yeah, two possible explanations there: Pinkie threw a party last night and she got drunk (Yes, Twilight drank underage because Pinkie spiked the punch. Spork really needs to stop sleeping those bowls....) Or she could have gotten a concussion at a party that Pinkie threw. Either way Pinkie was involved. She decided that she ask the doctor. "Eh, what's up, doc?" Twilight asked in a spot-on impression of Bugs Bunny's voice. "The ceiling is up." Replied the doctor. Twilight immediately facehoofed. She then said, "No, what happened to me." "Oh, you got hurt trying to get all of the books out of the library when a fire broke out. I believe a pink mare was thought to have thrown a party there and spiked the punch, thus resulting in somepony blowing out the candles on the cake towards books." "Pinkie...." Twilight said angrily, now knowing that she was suffering from a migraine and a hangover...while also having lost 20 IQ points. She was very sad about that. "Did the books survive?" She asked the doctor. "No. They all disappeared. I believe the mare was talking about something called the 'fourth wall' and how that's where they went." "...Oh. I'm going to leave n-" She started to say before she fell. "Er, why can't I see or balance now?" "Well, I believe that you now have vertigo. CONGRATULATIONS!" "Is there any remedy?" "Nope!" "I hate you." Twilight said with a straight face. AT THE CASTLE LIBRARY BEFORE THE FIRE "I'm telling you, Pinkie, that Murphy's law states that something will go wrong at precisely the worst time. Like a fire could start! Maybe Nutlest- no, wait. It wouldn't be bad if she got assassinated. Maybe you'll turn into a psycho killer! Or worse, you'll spike the punch and we'll all get drunk!" I really want a picture of Twilight saying that. Only she could think that losing IQ points is worse than a psycho killer. Also, what could possibly go even more wrong? Oh yeah this: ONE HOUR LATER "Twilight, would you like to help with an experiment?" Pinkie asked. "What kind of *hic* experiment?" Twilight said questioningly. "A romantic one." "No." "THEN I'LL MAKE YOU!" Pinkie says as she lunges towards Twilight. Twilight then teleports away, finding that she teleported outside of the castle instead of behind Pinkie. Apparently casting under the influence is very dangerous. It could kill you. Well, back to your irregularly scheduled story! Or is it regularly scheduled? Or is it a cupcake? Oh! Look! IT'S A BIRD! No! It's a Wonder Bolt! NO WAIT! IT'S A PIE!!! ...I'm getting sidetracked from being sidetracked.... "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! *kersplat*"Twilight yelled as she plummeted towards the ground. ...Yeah, she wasn't going to feel good in the morning. But it's not like I had anything to do with it, right? And besides, ...WHERE'S THE JAMAICAN GUY WHEN YOU NEED HIM!? ...Oh well. "And now back to the news with Sir Sporksalot." Announced Pinkie. BACK IN A DIMENSION WHERE TWILIGHT IS TAKING A SHOWER ...This might actually get too inappropriate for some audiences, so for that reason I have shortened this scene into this sentence: Pinkie tries to kiss Twilight again, while appearing through the shower head, and gets punched through the wall as a result. EXPLANATION A few chapters back I had all of Equestria destroyed. If you do not remember that, then that's too bad. Anyway, I think that a little bit of an explanation of how the world got back together again. So, without further ado, here's the mo- PINKIE! STOP TURNING MAGUAYS INTO GREMLINS! IT'S BAD FOR BUSINESS! WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN GONE FOR MORE THAN A WEEK AS IT IS, SO CAN'T YOU JUST BEHAVE FOR ONE CHAPTER?! In the beginning of the recreation of Equestria, there was nothing. Then Discord said, "Let there be chocolate milk," and there was light. Then he said, "Let there be cotton candy clouds," and there was land. Then he- Wait, that's ripping off the Bible? And you're questioning my religion? I AM A DEVOTE CATHOLIC! I JUST WANTED TO PUT A PERSPECTIVE ON THIS! ...Fine, we'll do it the easy way.... The floating mass of dirt and rubble that was Equestria floated through space, and there was also a pony floating saying, "I knew humans were real!" ...Yeah, she is not supposed t know about that.... The floating mass eventually neared a black hole, where it was sucked in, but then Pinkie Pie suddenly appeared and broke the fourth wall, rebuilding Equestria and trying to rename it something to get Twi to...you know, to her. Her plan failed when Nutmare Moon showed up and told Pinkie that she was dreaming. She then proceeded to lecture her about what a bad thing it is to have romantic ideas about your frien- er, budd- no, acquainta-, no...aha! Victims! That's the word I was looking for. ...But yeah. Nutmare Moon then tried to kill Pinkie. Pinkie then summoned a black hole and dove in. I wonder where she we- *thud* PINKIE! STOP FALLING FROM THE SKY! THAT'S THE SEVENTIETH TIME TODAY!!! Anyway, that is how Equestria was remade. ...Or at least how it was after that catastrophe. I believe that Pinkie blew the world apart five times more after that. So I have taken the liberty of suspending her cupcake rights for a month. ...I'm literally living in a very crazy place right now.... But, what I do know is that she will be less crazy than usu-! *Tarzan noise* Pinkie then swings in on a vine, takes my iPad and smashes it on the windowsill...she is going to regret doing that. PINKIE! COME BACK HERE NOW! I WOULD SAY THAT YOU WOULD BE KILLED, BUT YOU ARE ESSENTIAL TO THIS STORY...and you also would probably come back from the dead.... So, COME HITHER! DON'T MAKE ME BRING NAVI INTO THIS MESS! *Technical Difficulties*