//------------------------------//
// Weekend... Part II. Knott's Berry Farm Solution 
// Story: Discord Writes a Ship Fic 
// by Phoenix Quill 
//------------------------------//

"What do you mean that there are ponies wearing bandannas running alongside the train?" Discord quickly scanned the window, and soon enough saw that there were six ponies and two gryphons either galloping, or flying beside the train. Just as Wordsmith said, every one of them had a bandanna over their face. Every one of them were wearing frontier style clothing, including a wide brimmed cowpony hat.

"Just that," Wordsmith replied. "You don't suppose that they are stunt ponies, do you?"





Steamer leaned back in his chair while keeping a steady hoof on the engine's throttle and brake. The train was slowly lumbering down the Canterlot Mountain Loop, and he wanted everything to run smoothly. He knew the grades well, and just how to handle this dangerous and delicate operation.

All Aboard, the conductor pulled his watch out of his fob and frowned. "Steamer, we're running behind."

Steamer grunted in reply as he eased up on the throttle. He then looked out the window and frowned. "We're about a minute away from Hairpin's turn, go tell the brakepony to get to the brake wheel and make an adjustment for the cars."

All Aboard kept looking at his watch, then gauged the speedometer. After a few moments he frowned at the slowness of the train. "At this rate we're never going to get there on time."

"Listen, you worry about the time, I'll worry about safety." He gave the engine a little more speed before getting up and shoveling a few coals into the firebox. "I'll speed up after we get through the curve, but only once we hit Sunshine Plateau, after that it could be dangerous to go full throttle."

The conductor nodded as he left the engine compartment for the baggage car. "I'll be sure to let Full Stop know what's going on."

After carefully dancing around the coal in the engine's tender, All Aboard entered the baggage car and found Full Stop sitting on a pile of goods, preening his wings. "Full Stop! We're headed into a tricky turn, Steamer wants you to adjust the brake wheel so the cars can help slow the engine down through the curve. But I want you to open up the brakes through the plateau, got it?"

The pegasus gave a sloppy salute before flying through the access panel in the roof of the car, and soon enough the squeal of the brakes rang throughout the car as it leaned to the outside of the curve. All Aboard grabbed a stick with his hooves and knocked against the roof as it did. "A bit tighter! We don't need complaints from the passengers!" 

The brakepony responded by simply doing what he was told, and soon the cars straightened out as they rounded the curve  before the plateau. "So, how's the new guy working out for you?"

All Aboard looked and saw that the Mail Pony, Parcel, had stopped sorting through the mail to enjoy a cup of coffee, and decided to engage in conversation. "Full Stop? He's doing alright so far. This is his first trip down the mountain, so there's still a few things that needs working out. All done with the sorting for the next stop?"

Parcel nodded as he patted the small sorting station with a smile. "Yep, not too many letters today, but I'm sure we'll get more at the next station."

The squealing soon halted, and the engine began to pick up some speed as they entered the wide field of Sunshine Plateau. All Aboard smiled and stood up from his seat and looked at his watch. "Well, we might actually make it on time if Steamer goes full throttle through the plateau, or we don't have to stop for another special train up the mountain."

The loud clang of something heavy falling to the floorboards interrupted him, All Aboard and Parcel jumped at the sound, as they saw Full Stop scrambling to get back into the car. "BANDITS! There's bandits running alongside the train!" He quickly picked up the brake wheel and gave it to All Aboard. "We need to do something with this, if this train stops who knows what will happen!"

All Aboard nodded and took the wheel in the crux of his foreleg and began to run out the front of the car. "You two, lock the doors, look after each other while I warn the engineer and passengers. Don't open the door for anypony whatsoever! I'll use my key to get in!"

Quickly he galloped out the front of the car, through the coal tender's narrow path, and into the engine compartment. When he got there, he saw Steamer was busy shoveling as much coal as he could out of the tender, and into the engine compartment. "Steamer! We got bandits!"

"Tell me something I don't know! Did that tenderhoof manage to get the brake wheel off?" All Aboard nodded and passed the wheel to Steamer, who then placed the wheel in a bag of simulated dragon hide, and threw it into the firebox. " That should prevent them from stopping us. Go warn the passengers! I'm going to lock this engine down and open her up! Hopefully, we can lose them at the bridge!"

As soon as the conductor left the engine compartment, Steamer threw a lever, lowering a roll down steel cage, locking him in the compartment, and keeping anypony else from getting in. As he watched All Aboard muster his way back to the baggage car, he quickly grabbed his bulletproof vest, threw it on, and punched the throttle in hopes of outrunning the bandits.





The train suddenly jerked with incredible speed, and everypony tried their best to keep balance, or risk being thrown to the back of the car. "Well this is just great!" Hearth Stone complained. "Now what are we supposed to do?"

"Keep calm," Discord said as he stood on his hind legs. "With a snap of my fingers, I'll transport the whole gang to the nearest jail cell, and we'll be on our way." He then looked at a hoof, and his face fell. "Again, all the proof I need that hooves are impractical!"

Screwball reached forward and hit Discord over the head with one of her impractical hooves. "Will you shut up about the hooves already! We need a solution that works. Hearth Stone, do you have any weapons?"

"Oh yeah! I always carry weapons with my uniform, I'll just run to the baggage car, break into it and be armed to the teeth!" He snapped back. "We need a strategy, and quick, before they stop us, or jump aboard!

"Uh, hey, what are they doing now?" Wordsmith asked aloud. Quickly, everypony rushed to the windows to see that the gang suddenly ran off to the head of the train, while the flyers swooped up above the train. "Maybe they realized that this is the wrong train?" Wordsmith wondered.

"No way," Discord said with a frown. "If they are splitting up like that, it probably means trouble."





All Aboard quickly grabbed the train's master key, and began to unlock the door to the baggage car. "Come on, come on! Work you stupid key!" The lock clicked, and All Aboard opened the door and ran in. "Get that back door open! I've got to warn the passengers about the bandits and lock this train down!"

"Ah, you must be the conductor. Sorry to intrude, but I believe you have the key that unlocks this car's doors." All Aboard looked up, and saw that Full Stop and Parcel were tied together back to back, and next to them stood a gryphon in western style clothes holding a revolver in each of her claws. "No warning shots, no tricks, and no stopping this train, we don't need the engineer to know we got on board. Now, I want you to open the loading door so my friends can come in."

All Aboard swallowed his saliva and held out the key. He took a step forward as the gryphon shook one of her guns in his face. "You won't harm the passengers, will you?"

"No promises about that," she said with a smile. "Now hurry up."

The conductor took another step forward, and held out the key in the crux between his hoof and leg. He looked up and saw how she got in, the roof's access panel was still open. Without a single thought given to his actions, All Aboard quickly threw the key out the open panel. "THERE! You'll never see the rest of your gang again!"

The gryphon's smile grew as she stepped forward and placed one of the revolvers in it's holster, and held out a claw expectantly. Sure enough the key landed right in her open claw. "Thank you Sly."

"No problem Rebecca." A pegasus responded as he flew down the access panel. "I told you he would give that a try."

Rebecca nodded as Sly pulled a hoof canon out and kept it aimed at All Aboard. "And now, it's time for you to say goodnight." The gryphon chortled as she pistol whipped the conductor on the back of his head. "Now lets open that side door!"





Panic was starting to spread in the car as the first class passengers began arguing among themselves over what should be done. Amid the chaos, Hearth Stone rose and whistled loudly to get everypony's attention. "Alright listen up! Everypony, gather ONLY the valuables that you can't part with, and place them in the center of the room! There is an emergency strong box, but keep a few bits on you so they don't tear up the car looking for it, or you are going to lose everything!"

The panic slowed slightly, as everypony quickly grabbed their bit bags, jewelry, watches and other valuables, Hearth Stone opened the hidden safe under the floor in the middle of the car's aisle. Soon, the box was nearly full with valuables of all sorts, he closed the lid and replaced the carpet. "Alright, now back to your seats, and try to remain calm! We're from the government and we are going to help!"

As soon as he said the phrase, "we are from the government" another stroke of panic flew across the car as sudden shouts of, "We're all going to die!" flew across the room.

Despite the spread of panic, Random Thought was still trying to fire the revolver without magic, and wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings. He was about to give up when he looked out the window and noticed a gryphon flying along side the train. Random watched him for a few moments in curiosity, when he suddenly grabbed onto the railing that ran over the top of the car.

The gryphon wore a ranchers hat, and gloves on both his talons up front, and the lion paws on the rear, with open ends so he could slash at victims. The gryphon had a terrible scar running down the side of his face, running over one of his golden eyes that shone with excitement. He reached into his vest and pulled a revolver out of his holster, and aimed straight into a car full of passengers that were not noticing him at all.

Only Random noticed, and he knew what to do. He quickly used magic to hold his gun, and smashed the plate glass between himself and the gryphon, showering the would be shootist in razor sharp glass. As he became covered in small cuts, he gripped his face with both claws, flying away to recover and meet with his fellow gang members.

While everypony else finally turned to see why the window was suddenly smashed, all anypony saw was that Random Thought was fooling around with a gun in his mouth and soon ignored him. "Maybe if I use my tongue to pull the trigger..."





Rebecca pushed open the giant sliding door, and whistled loudly between her talons. As soon as she did, another pegasus, two unicorns, and an earthpony hopped on board. A few moments later, another earthpony hopped on board, and he immediately lowered his bandanna and smiled wide. "Alright, let's get to work."

Rebecca looked out the door for a moment, and failed to find the other gryphon of their gang. As the rest of the bandits continued to their places, she couldn't help but worry. "Boss, where's William?"

The leader frowned slightly at the question and headed to the safe to make sure that Short Fuse wouldn't accidentally blow up anything inside the safe while trying to blow it open. "He's on the roof picking glass out of his face. These passengers have bite, and we're going to put the fear back into them."

Rebecca frowned at the leader before passing a bag to Bullseye to go through. "We won't hurt them, will we? That isn't what I signed up for."

"Now I thought you'd stick up for me a little better than that," William responded as he swung into the open door using the grip rail that ran down the length of the car. "But I hate to say I agree with Rebecca, why don't we just leave enough alone, one of them has a gun and I don't need a standoff today."

The earthpony grinned as he pulled a hoof cannon out from his duster. "Now where's your sense of fun? William, Bullseye and Sly, your with me. The rest of you, get that safe open and we'll be out of here in no time."





Discord and Wordsmith managed to repair the glass with a simple spell, and through the efforts of Screwball and Hearth Stone, they managed to calm the rest of the passengers down, and a silent fear had settled over everypony.

Suddenly, the door in the front of the car was violently kicked open! So hard in fact, that it slammed into the wall and left a sizable dent in it as three ponies and a gryphon came in wielding guns. "ALRIGHT! This is a stickup, all yer valuables into the sack and nopony gets hurt! Come on move it, move it!" 

Despite the all the planning everypony had gone through, everypony in the car jumped into action by panicking and running around in circles, leaving Discord and his group in mild confusion. Suddenly, Random Thought jumped out of his seat with Discord's revolver in his mouth, and began to yell around it. "Alrigh you four, I don' care if dare's more of ja, I gotsch a gun aimed right at yer unprochected head! Nhaw back off da train beshore I fire!"

The earth pony in the group stepped forward and brushed back his duster with a hoof, showing he was strapped down with guns, knives, and sticks of dynamite. "Who dares to challenge my rough riders? Those that speak against my gang, speak against me! Do you even know who I am?"

Everypony shook their heads, causing the leader to sigh and roll his eyes. "Figures, you just can't get good publicity these days. Alright boys, tell 'em who I am!" After he gave the call, the rest of the bandits in the car broke out in chorus.

Bad Horse,
Bad Horse!
Bad Horse,
Bad Horse!

He robs across the nation,
This thoroughbred of sin.
So here's the situation
that he's put you in!

He gave evaluation,
and now the games begin!
A heinous crime, a show of force,
to kill you would be nice, of course

Bad Horse,
Bad Horse!
Bad Horse,
He's bad!

He's a crack-shot with the gun,
so you best beware!
If you try to be a hero,
it will be your last, we swear!

So you better succeed,
or he'll make you his mare . . .

Get saddled up!
There's no recourse,
Or just surrender,
To Bad Horse!


After the short musical number, there was a smattering of applause as Bad Horse and his gang bowed. "Thank you, these are of course only a small part of my rough riders, the rest are busy with the safe in the baggage car. But I figured, what the heck, let's have some fun with the passengers! Now, I say once more, GIMME YOUR MONEY!"

Random Thought, to his credit, did not back down, but instead continued to aim the gun at Bad Horse. "I'm not shcared of hyue! Leaf now and I won't fire!"

Discord raised hoof and tried to pull Random down into his seat as best he could. "Random, don't do it. Please believe me, it's not worth it!"

Everything went dark when the train entered a tunnel. Somewhere in the car, a mare screamed, and Random knew just what to do. "This is my chance, I'll fire now while he can't see me, or move without tripping on something!" Quickly, he used his tongue to pull back on the trigger, and the sound of a chamber round exploded through the car. Screams began to ring out, and another explosion went off! Soon the sounds of a scuffle took place, as they exited the tunnel, the situation remained nearly the same as it was before. The only difference to be found, was that Random was tied to his seat.

Bad Horse laughed as he yanked the gun out of Random's mouth and passed it to his cronies. "Nice try hombre, you would have killed me there if it weren't for one thing," he passed the gun to the unicorn who opened the chambers, letting the casings fall to the floor. "Next time you shoot to kill, you should make sure you have bullets, and not a six chambers of blanks.

Random shuffled as best as he could in the chair to face Discord. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THE GUN WAS LOADED WITH BLANKS!?"

"Do you honestly think I would have given you a loaded gun? We're on a train! You can barely manage to talk, breathe, and chew bubblegum at the same time!"

"That has nothing to do with the situation, I could have saved us just now!"

"If I knew that the train was going to be robbed, I would have loaded it with bullets okay?!"

"If you two are done bickering, I would like to get back to the business at hoof. Now, give us, your money," Bad Horse said with a steely tone of voice.

Discord quickly pulled out a checkbook and grabbed a quill with his magic. "Well, I don't carry cash, or anything of value really. I mean, I'm from the ministry of Practical Chaos, I don't exactly make a lot of bits." He then paused as he dipped the quill in ink and looked the bandit in the eye and said, "I assume you want me to make it out to cash."

"Oh yeah, I'll just walk into the bank and cash a check," Bad Horse commented before slapping the checkbook out of Discord's hooves. "Idiot! Keep your paper, it's worthless to me! Anypony else have any cash?"

The remaining ponies in the group quickly was searched by the other gang members, and all they came up with was a half bit coin from Screwball. Soon, the gang began to go through everypony's saddlebags and pockets in hopes of finding anything of value.

While the gang continued to search for valuables near the rear of the car, Discord and his group stayed close together. Fortunately, they were ignored for their lack of cash or valuables. As the gang held up a posh gryphon, Discord waved a hoof to gather the rest of his group closer together. "Listen," he whispered just loud enough that the bandits couldn't hear him, "I think I have a plan."

Screwball frowned as she continued her attempts to untie Random Thought from the chair. "You think you have a plan, or you actually do have a plan?"

"Be quiet and put some faith in your boss for a few seconds." Discord snapped back at her. "Now listen, Random, I want you to act sick so the bandits will come back to untie you, while that happens, Screwball will draw a trap door on the floor and use her... whatever sort of magic it is that she has, to send whoever is standing on it out under the train. Meanwhile, Wordsmith and I will knock out two with our hooves, and Hearthstone will tie them up with the rope that they just took off of Random Thought. Any questions?"

"Yeah, where is Hearth Stone?" Discord, Random, and Wordsmith all looked around and shrugged at Screwballs simple question. Sure enough, somehow Hearth Stone had gone missing.

"Aww, have you lost a friend?" The gryphon asked as he came back to them. "Maybe he grew a brain and ran off! Now, the boss wants all four of you to get in line with the rest of the passengers, come on. MOVE!"

Discord, Screwball and Wordsmith stood without question and followed the gryphon into the center of the car, where all the other passengers were lined up. Bad Horse cackled as he twirled the hoof canon around his hoof, and looked Random Thought in the eyes with a smile. "So, hero. How does it feel to know you can't do anything to save these good passengers?"

Random growled under his breath as the bandits tied the hooves, and in some cases claws of the passengers behind their backs. "Let this be a lesson hero, one you carry for the rest of your life. Never cross Bad Horse." The leader grinned maliciously as he aimed his hoof canon into Discord's head. "When I give the signal, fire. No witnesses, only one failed hero, and a car full of rotting well to do."

Discord managed to smile at what was happening, and actually began to chuckle. "Bad Horse, if you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can ever imagine, and you will pay for it."

Bad Horse pulled back on the hammer of the gun and grinned wide. "I hope by the old gods you're right." 

For a moment, Discord's eyes flashed golden, and he smiled even wider from what was just said. "I'll remember you said that."

Suddenly the gryphon broke away from the rest of the firing squad and put his revolver in it's holster. "Bad Horse, I can't do this! You said it wouldn't come to this!"

"I am altering the plan, pray I don't alter it any further!" he screamed back at the gryphon. "Now back to your place Bill and when I give the word, you're going to fire! One... Two..."





Short Fuse carefully measured the safe, and grabbed an extra stick of dynamite and placed it on the hinge of the safe door. "How much longer until the Hayford Tunnel?"

"Not too much longer," Lookout called from above. "We should be coming up on it after Moon Phase Bridge."

Rebecca twirled her revolver around a talon nervously as Short Fuse placed another stick onto the safe, Sparky dug through the packages, and Lookout continued to look ahead of the train from the access panel above the car. As she continued to twirl the gun around her talon, she sighed suddenly and tipped her hat back. "Boys, I've been thinking. What's going to happen to us when this is done?"

"What do you mean?" Sparky replied as he picked up another bag with his magic, "We're going to be rich! We'll split up and go our separate ways and live like royalty!"

The sudden burst of singing from the car behind them caught their attention as Sparky hummed along for a few bars. "Why won't they ever let me sing?"

"Because you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. Now get ready to light this sucker up, I'm almost done here."

Lookout grinned as he glided down the opening and closed it behind him. "Good news, we're over halfway across the bridge, and headed straight for the tunnel, nopony could stop us now!"

Short Fuse nodded as he extended the fuse a little bit on the charge. "Alright, Sparky, light er up. Everyone else to the far end of the car, and cover your ears if you value your hearing."

Rebecca, Short Fuse, Sparky and Lookout all huddled around the open side door for the baggage car, and covered their ears as Sparky used his magic to light the end of the fuse. Moments passed, and soon the train entered the tunnel and they couldn't see anything. 

But somepony else was there, and he was watching them. Even in the darkness of the tunnel, he could see everything. And he knew that now was his time to strike.

Hearth Stone smiled as he silently glided into the baggage car, and landed behind the unicorn and pegasus. None of them noticed him as they stood with their ears plugged with their hooves or claws. "Best I take care of these two first, the gryphon is too big to fly in here, and I don't need magic in the mix." Hearth Stone the slammed the two ponies heads together, just as a shot rang out from the car behind them.

"What was that?" Rebecca called out as the dynamite exploded, showering the rear half of the car with shrapnel.

Shortly after that, Rebecca recovered from the sound of the blast, and quickly ran back to investigate the sound of the shot, rather than to collect the bits. She pulled open the door and looked through the glass of the one behind her, and saw that Bad Horse was holding his gun up to a pony, as Bullseye was pulling a revolver apart. "This is going too far. Fuse, Lookout, Sparky, I don't care what you do, but I want nothing to do with this any more. I'm bailing."

She turned around to make her exit out the side door of the car, only to find that her three comrades were out cold, and a pony with bat wings stood with his wings spread wide. "It may not be too late for that new leaf. But surrender now, and I'll put in a good word for you."

The gryphon pulled her pistol out and held it straight at the face of the intruder. "Don't come any closer, I'll shoot!"

Hearth Stone smiled as he stepped closer to Rebecca, and held a hoof out. "Drop the gun, you willfully turn yourself in and I'll make sure you get a reduced sentence, maybe even just a warning. Come on, you don't want to do kill me."

Rebecca stood frozen as she continued to hold the gun at him. Hearth Stone continued to stand there, a comforting smile on his face. "Please, I need to help the passengers, you're not a killer. I can see it in your eyes."

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT I AM AND AM NOT CAPABLE OF! YOU DON'T KNOW ME!" Rebecca pulled back on the hammer of the revolver, and glanced out the open door behind her. Bad Horse and the other three with him were tying passengers up and lining them in the aisle.

A flutter of panic filled Rebecca's heart and she froze. She looked back at the pony before her as he stepped even closer. "I'm Hearth Stone," He said softly, "I'm a private in Luna's night guard. Trust me, I'll help you."

Rebecca lowered her gun slightly and looked Hearth Stone in the eyes for the first time and asked, "Can you help them?"

Hearth Stone nodded as he stepped even closer. "Yes, I'll save the passengers. I don't know about your friends, but if you surrender now, I'll be able to help you."

Rebecca holstered her gun and placed her talons behind her head. "I submit to you, guard."

Hearth Stone smiled a little and smartly tapped the gryphon on the back of her head with a silver hammer, knocking her out cold. "Sleep now," he muttered under his breath as he placed the hammer back into a case marked as the property of Maxwell Edison.

As soon as he hogtied Rebecca, Hearth Stone grabbed his suitcase, found his armor and put it on. As soon as he was ready for battle, Hearth Stone went to the back of the car, and witnessed Discord kneeling before a pony with a hoof canon counting down. "Now back to your place Bill and when I give the word, you're going to fire! One... Two..."

Hearth Stone kicked open the door and yelled as loud as he could, "HALT RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!" All four bandits turned on the newcomer and aimed a weapon at him. The night guard grinned as he flared his wings, showing the chrome, bladed tips, and the eye of his armor glowed brightly. "You are in violation of several legal statutes and laws in the country of Equestria. Drop your weapons and surrender now or suffer the full extent of the Lunar Court. You have 20 seconds to comply."

The bandits all stood there silent for several seconds before suddenly bursting in laughter. "You think that you can stop us? Shoot him down boys!"

Five triggers were pulled, but not a single shot was fired, as the eye of the armor did it's job to disperse all the weapons of his enemy's. Hearth Stone grinned darkly as he pulled his short sword out of it's sheath. "My turn."

As Hearth Stone pulled his sword out, the bandits began to draw their throwing knives, blades began to hurl through the air, only to be stopped short by the blunt side of Hearth's sword. Hearth swung with all his might, and Bad Horse ducked down below the arc of the blade. 

At first, Bad Horse grinned, until he noticed that the sword was continuing it's downward arc, with the heavy, blunt end of the hilt aiming straight for his face.

Bad Horse had no time to react, and the end of the hilt smashed into his muzzle, followed shortly by several quick jabs with the bladed wing tips in his sides, Bad Horse was soon overwhelmed. Before he knew it, Hearth Stone finished him off by head butting him with his helmet, knocking the earth pony out cold.

Hearth stood triumphant over the defeated form of the sleeping Bad Horse and grinned wide after he sheathed his sword. "Anypony else want to go the hard way?"

Bullseye, William and Sly all raised their forelimbs up in a gesture of surrender as Hearth began the task of cutting the rope binding his friends, and fellow passengers.