The sun was just rising when Trixie met her first humans. She'd seen a couple from the distance – vague shadows working the fields – but had simply assumed that they were diamond dogs or minotaurs or similar.
However, the two who suddenly stepped out into the road in front of Trixie, with heavy cudgels and unfriendly scowls, were most certainly not a species she was familiar with. She came to an immediate stop – it was that or attempt to ride down someone twice her height with a great big club in his hands.
She spared a moment to glance behind her. Sure enough, three more of the tall creatures had appeared from the bushes in that direction. One of these carried a sword.
A half-dozen more, with drawn bows, stepped out from the sides of the path. Trixie didn't need to hear a word to understand what was going on here.
Highwayponies. Robbers. Thieves. Presumably they were under the impression that Trixie's new cart contained something of value; they would probably take their frustrations out on her when they discovered that it did not.
“Now, sir,” said the one with the sword, speaking to the still-closed wagon in Elenic, “I do hope you're going to be reasonable about this. If you put up a fight, then we'd have to kill you, and I'm sure no-one wants that. On the other hand, if you cooperate, we'll let you go on your way, somewhat poorer but alive. Can't say fairer than that, can I?”
“What?” asked Trixie, nervously. “Trixie doesn't understand you. Do you speak Equestrian?”
The highwaymen watched the cart carefully for any sign of resistance, largely ignoring the nervous whinnying of the bright blue horse with the hat and cape. Said cart did nothing.
“Right, then, sir, this is how it's going to happen.” said the sworded highwayman. “I am going to step up and open the door of your cart. You, and anyone else in your cart, are going to step out with your hands visible, and carrying no weapons. My boys will search you and take any valuables you might have on you, then we'll let you go. By the time you can get to Cimmura on foot, we'll be long gone. Of course, we'll be keeping your horse and cart. Try anything, and you won't live to see tomorrow.”
“Parlez-vous Fancy?” asked Trixie, trying a few more languages in the hope of finding a match. “Ukhuluma isiZebra na? Ta Minotaur hel medeh uu? Trixie doesn't know more than a couple of phrases in Donkey... hey, get away from that, that's Trixie's cart!”
As the highwayman's leader stepped up to the door of the cart, Trixie instinctively took a step forward. Unfortunately, one of the highwaymen in front of her took this as his cue to step forward and apply his cudgel quite firmly to the back of Trixie's head.
Everything went black.
* * *
Krager wasn't sure, at first, if he'd even woken up. For once, his abdomen wasn't in pain. His right shoulder, as well, seemed to have stopped hurting. He was breathing easily, and his hands didn't feel like they were shaking.
For the last several years, this had meant that he could only be dreaming. He knew what had done it, of course; he'd always been a drinking man. There was nothing, in his honest opinion, better than a good Arcian Red. Morning, midday, evening; if he couldn't find a good wine, then a bad one would do.
Anything, if it let him forget. There was – so much – that he wanted to forget. Some of it – a lot of it – probably even most of it – he had forgotten. One thing he did remember, though, was what that doctor had said; that there was no cure for what he had. That his liver would continue to hurt until the day he died.
Is that it? he asked himself, nervously. Have I died? Is this... the afterlife?
If it was the afterlife, he considered, then the biggest surprise was that he wasn't on fire. Krager was under no illusions about the life he'd lived; there were very few gods who were willing to turn a blind eye to rampant murder, theft, kidnapping.
No, if Krager was dead, and he wasn't in some sort of Hell, then that could only mean one of two things; either this was some sort of waiting room, or, just possibly, there had been something of a clerical error.
Could gods make clerical errors? he pondered. He knew that they could certainly make tactical errors, so there was a possibility...
Wherever he was, it was clearly not the ditch he'd fallen asleep in. It had been a long, long time since Krager had slept in a bed; but he still recognised it for what it was.
Very quietly, hoping not to attract attention, Krager opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was a rabbit, right in front of his face. It twitched its nose, wriggled its ears, and hopped away.
There seemed to be little else in the room. A bed, a window – the morning sun streamed in, but for once didn't seem to give Krager a headache – a door, and a chair, over which was draped Krager's clothes.
He didn't recognise them at first. They appeared to have been washed; his shirt looked like it had been bleached. Someone had even managed to get most of the stains out.
He heard a quiet voice downstairs. He couldn't make out what it was saying. After a few moments, a yellow horse with a bright pink mane came up the stairs.
“Good morning.” said the horse, quietly. “I do hope you're feeling better.”
“Wait, what? What language are you – what language am I speaking? How can I understand this?”
“Oh. Discord must have done that, I guess. It's Equestrian. Now, I'm sure you're a little confused. You're the first of your species I've ever seen, so you might feel a little out-of-place here. If you want to go back home, I can show you how to get there... if that's alright, I mean...”
Krager shrugged. “This seems like a pleasant enough place, so far.” he said. “I see no reason to leave just yet.”
Clerical error. he thought to himself. Not only am I in some sort of Heaven, but it's a Heaven for the wrong species. Now I just need to avoid notice for as long as possible...
“Oh, good.” said the horse. “My name is Fluttershy.”
Krager hesitated a moment, wondering if it was a good idea to use his real name here. If he used a false name, perhaps he could stay hidden longer... but if he was caught lying... was it even possible to lie in Heaven? Would he get thrown out for it?
He decided not to take that risk just yet. “My name is Krager.” he said.
“Then good morning, Krager. Can you eat fruit? I've never seen anything like you before, and I've had to guess a bit about what would be a healthy diet.”
“Yes,” said Krager, “I can eat fruit.”
“Oh, good. Then would you like some breakfast? I've got apples, kumquats, grapefruit, grapes, oranges, lemons, mangoes, strawberries, plums, kiwis, figs and bananas. I wasn't sure which you would like, so I made sure to get plenty of variety.”