//------------------------------// // In Which Twilight Sparkle Discovers That Humans are People, Too // Story: Blueblood's Ascension Part II; or, The Otherworldly Adventure of an Alicorn Prince // by MyHobby //------------------------------// Lavern’s excitement was palpable as he talked with his wife over the phone. He asked her to bring their daughter over to the old house and explained that he had a “surprise” waiting. They arrived within a few moments, suggesting to Twilight that they lived in the same neighborhood. Lavern’s daughter nearly leapt out of her skin at the sight of Twilight Sparkle, best pony after Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. Her squeal of delight resounded off the eardrums of everyone present. It wasn’t long before the alicorn princess was wrapped in an embrace as only a childhood hero can receive. Lavern’s wife nearly jumped out of her skin as well, though not from the sight of Twilight. Her surprise seemed to be centered on the prince lying on a distant couch. “The heck is he doing here?” Twilight’s presence registered a moment later. “The heck is that?” She then noticed that the room was packed with many, many new people. “The heck are they?” Twilight craned her neck to see Blueblood sitting very tall, very straight, and very stark-raving scared on the couch. His eyes flickered to the girl hugging her and grew wide, their pupils dilating in an attempt to be very sure they were not seeing things. Twilight turned back to Lavern’s wife to see that she was drawing forth a small can. Lavern picked up on his wife’s motives and gently took her hand in his own. “Dear, I think you can put away the mace, now.” The wife/mother narrowed her eyes. “The heck is this?” Lavern waved his hand. “Prince Blueblood here accidently lost himself in America.” He smiled as his daughter snuggled up against a blushing Twilight. “And these people are trying to get him back home.” Twilight gave the girl a little smile. “Hello, what’s your name?” “It’s Alma,” Blueblood said. “I’ve been introduced to them via a can of spray-on Hades.” Alma looked up at the sound of his voice. “Huh? Blueblood’s here, too?” She turned to Twilight with a solemn expression. “He’s supposed to apologize to Rarity when he gets home.” Twilight lowered an eyebrow at the prince. “I thought you did… Publicly.” Blueblood shrugged. “Tell that to the princess over there.” “I have a name,” Alma pouted. “And you still aren’t sorry.” “That’s not very nice,” Twilight said. “He said he was sorry, shouldn’t you give him a chance to be forgiven?” Alma’s forehead wrinkled in thought. “I guess so…” Twilight shot the mother a pointed glance. The mother returned the look with a glare. Twilight pointed her horn from Alma to Blueblood. The mother rolled her eyes and poked Lavern in his side. “You owe me, Pony Boy,” she said. She knelt down beside Alma and put her hands on her shoulders. “Honey, I think we should both apologize to—what’s his name, Blueback?—Will you do that with me?” Alma considered it deeply. She nodded silently and followed her mother over to the couch. She took a deep breath in and smiled. “I’m sorry I kicked you in the shins.” “Whoa, ho, ho!” John exclaimed. “She’s a real spitfire!” The mother gave a snort. “I’m sorry for pepper spraying you in the face. Kinda.” Eudora winced mightily even as she began sketching the events in a notebook. Blueblood huffed, standing tall until he caught sight of Twilight Sparkle rotating her hoof in a gesture of “Get on with it, Dummy!” “I suppose I must forgive you as well,” he sighed. “As long as there shall be no more repeat performances.” “At this point, I’d call them running gags,” John chuckled. He was shushed by everyone present. “Geeze,” Eudora mumbled. “Even on Earth everybody’s mad at Blueblood.” “Well, sure they are,” John replied. “Or did you miss his episode?” “So he was a little mean to Rarity, is that really that big a crime?” Eudora asked. “Maybe he had a good reason… I mean, she was just a big gold-digger, wasn’t she?” “He was the exact opposite of chivalrous all night long,” John scoffed. “In my book, that’s prime reason to completely take away his man-card!” “He’s a pony,” she helpfully pointed out. “He’s a dude,” John sighed. “Wait, don’t tell me, I’ll bet you’re a Blueblood Apologist.” “I’m…” Eudora sneered. “I’m not a Blueblood Apologist!” “Everyone!” The occupants of the room turned as one at the sound of Blueblood’s voice. He rose from his spot on the couch, climbing shakily to his feet. He looked each person in the eye as he spoke. “I know… I know nobody likes me. I know why nobody likes me. I really do. But—but I’m trying to change. I really am. I see what’s wrong, and I’m doing my best to fix it.” He sat back down, his brows furrowing. The room was quiet as he gathered up his thoughts. “May I ask you to… to just have a little patience? To wait… or to help me?” The mood was broken by Braeburn’s lively laughter. “O’ course we c’n help yah! Love an’ friendship and all that jazz! Jus’ hang with Braeburn a while, an’ we’ll getcher spruced up and actin’ like a responsible pony!” Twilight placed a hoof on Blueblood’s shoulder. “What he said. We’ll help you along your road to recovery, you’ll see.” Lavern placed an arm around his wife’s shoulders. “Nice to see that the ponies practice what they preach.” Blueblood blinked. “That reminds me; what is your name, madam? I don’t wish to keep thinking of you as ‘Alma’s Mom,’ if I can help it.” “Amelia,” the mother said. “Sounds like another running gag,” John grinned. Eudora smacked the back of his head. There was a knock at the door. Heads turned, and Twilight quickly cast the disguise spell on herself, transforming her body back into a human’s. “It’s okay, guys,” Keefe explained. “I ordered a few pizzas.” He opened the door a crack, passed the delivery-person a few bills, and then brought the aromatic food inside. “All veggie, of course.” “Aw!” Rainbow Dash slumped. “I wanted to try pepperoni…” Braeburn and Flash sat by John and Eudora, experiencing something akin to dinner and a show. “I’m just saying, if we go by the Canon, Blueblood was a jerk!” John chewed his pizza with fervor as he picked up steam. “Yeah, but we can’t judge somepony by their cover,” Eudora countered. “We don’t know what he goes through, do we?” “What do we know?” he asked. “A- he’s a prince of Equestria. B- he’s handsome beyond all reasonable measures. C- he’s got absolutely no sense of chivalry—” “He probably had a hard day!” she stressed. “Come on, he’s asked forgiveness, let’s move on.” “What he said just now isn’t what we’re discussing,” he grumbled. “We were discussing his actions in the episode.” “If’n you’ll pardon the intrusion,” Braeburn said, “is what he did that night all that important now?” John opened his mouth, finger pointed upwards in preparation of presenting his next point. His argument died on his tongue. “Well…” “Shouldn’t we, y’know, let him move past his own shortcomin’s?” Braeburn shrugged. “I mean, isn’t that the right thing to do here?” John nodded, his feet firmly in focus. “Of course.” He raised his eyes to meet Braeburn’s. “You know, I think I’m just having a hard time thinking of you all as real people, not just characters.” Eudora nudged him with an elbow. “Not that he means any offence.” “None taken,” Braeburn assured her. “Truth be told, it’s hard to take you lanky things seriously, too!” Flash bushed his hair back. “Sooo… what’s up with this ‘show?’ Am I on it?” Eudora examined him. “I’m not sure I know you… What’s your name?” “Flash Sentry, Lieutenant of the Crystal Empire Airborn.” Flash stood at attention, his plate of pizza almost falling to the floor. Of course, attention for a pony was slightly different than attention for a human. He cut a comical figure sitting on all fours beside the giggling Braeburn. “Doesn’t ring a bell,” Eudora mumbled. “Oh. Oh! Ohoho!” John grinned. “He’s in the Equestria Girls movie!” “I haven’t seen that,” Eudora said. She handed Flash his plate of pizza as he sat back down. “What’s he do?” “He mostly serves as the love-interest for Twili—” John jolted in place. “Um… What are your thoughts on, um, Princess Sparkle?” Flash blushed noticeably, as in quite vehemently. “Princess Twilight Sparkle is a brilliant scientist and scholar. She’ll do just fine as Princess of Friendship.” Eudora frowned. “Not Princess of Magic?” “Same difference, right?” Braeburn asked. “So yeah, he’s…” John shrugged. “He’s in it.” Eudora squinted at John, not discerning his meaning. He silently mouthed “Brad.” She got the message. “You mean he’s—” John nodded. “And she’s—” John nodded again, casting a glance at the princess in question. “Oh my gosh that is so kyoote!” At Flash’s confused look, John gave him a nervous grin. “Girls, who gets ’em? Amiright?” Braeburn sat back, his smile growing to epic proportions. “You dawg, you…” Flash blinked. “Okay… Okay, getting back to the show.” He leaned his elbows on his knees. “How did you two start watching it?” John smiled; a real, genuine smile. “It was recommended by an author I really respect. I figured that if he liked it, I probably would, too. I was right. I just love the writing.” He chuckled and looked at Eudora. “The instant Twilight told Spike ‘Focus, Casanova,’ I knew I was hooked.” “For me, it’s the animation,” Eudora said. “I used to think Flash animation was really lazy, just a bunch of cut and paste.” She shook her head. “This show showed me wrong, and that’s awesome.” She tittered. “And you ponies are just so cute!” Braeburn grinned wide. “It certainly sounds like we’re bein’ well taken care of.” John rolled his eyes. “Oh, now don’t get me started on season three—” Twilight and Redheart sat on a couch opposite of Lavern and Amelia. Lavern was deep in thought, considering the implications of what Twilight had told him. “How many changelings did you say got through?” he asked. “At least twenty,” she affirmed. “There may be more, but I never got a good look at all of them at once.” Amelia’s eyes shifted between Redheart and Twilight. “Did you have some kind of plan to get rid of them? You know, before you got here?” “We have a military escort, four alicorns, and a pony that’s too awesome for her own good,” Twilight rattled off. “We’re equipped, but it’s not exactly an assault mission, if you get what I mean.” “No, I get it, it’s rescue and reconnaissance,” she admitted. “I’m nervous, I guess.” “It’ll be fine,” Redheart said. “The changelings are legendary bumblers; they’ll slip up sooner or later.” “We might not have time for them to bumble.” Lavern placed another piece of pizza on a plate and passed it down to his daughter. “Better that we act to find them now. We can stop whatever plans they make before they even start.” “And how are we gonna stop them?” Amelia asked. “Shoot rainbows at them?” “More effective than you think,” Twilight muttered. “I was thinking more along the lines of my conceal-carry.” Lavern produced a metal, L-shaped object. “I doubt even giant magic bugs can stand against forty millimeters of lead.” “Put that stupid thing away!” Amelia hissed. “You’re gonna hurt yourself with it!” “Not if I’m careful,” he replied. He slid the gun back out of sight. “Isn’t this the reason we got it in the first place?” “No, you got it so that you can shoot burglars robbing the house.” Amelia wrapped her arms around her torso. She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Sorry, that… I shouldn’t have just…” “It’s alright,” Redheart said. “You’re just scared.” She looked around the room and sniffed. “I think we’re all a little scared.” Alma danced her Lilly Blossom Brushable around the floor, only occasionally taking a bite of pizza. Blueblood could hear her softly singing “Smile, Smile, Smile,” a song he knew had been composed and written by the pink party pony known as Pinkie Pie. Heck if that mare didn’t still scare him to death. She moved closer to him, bit by bit. He was certain it was coincidental, until she spoke to him. “How come you’re sitting over here by yourself?” He rested his head on the floor, his eyelids drooping to match. “Don’t you have somepony’s mane to brush?” “Nuh uh.” She sat beside him fidgeting with her pony doll. “’M sorry I kicked you.” “And I forgive you,” he said, “just as I did an hour ago. You needn’t repeat yourself.” “Yeah, but…” She pursed her lips. “I still feel bad about it.” He lifted his head and found her at eye-level. “That’s a far cry from what you said when I was at your house.” “I know.” She sat down beside him, rubbing the toy mare’s blonde hair. “I was angry at you. I know I shouldn’t be, but I think I still am. I’m sorry.” He regarded her silently, watching her go through the motions with her toy. Lilly Blossom would occasionally fly through the air, save for when she paraded gracefully along the hardwood floor. The lavender pegasus seemed much happier than the girl who ordered her steps. “I’m sorry, too,” Blueblood said. “You have every right to think I’m a bad pony, but…” She looked up at him with curiosity. “Maybe I can help you change your mind?” Her eyebrows lowered at his smile. He spoke softly. “Put the pony on the floor.” She did so, and gasped as Blueblood’s horn glowed blue. The shine enveloped Lilly Blossom from head to tail. An instant later, the spell ended, leaving the pony much the same as before. “I don’t get—” Blueblood cut her off. “Watch closely,” he said. As Alma watched, Lilly Blossom’s wings twitched. She gasped as the hunk of plastic came to life, running in place and whinnying at the girl. The pony flew into her arms, eliciting a gasp. She looked up at Blueblood with wide eyes. “It’s called the ‘Come to Life’ spell,” Blueblood explained. “It didn’t actually bring your toy to life, it’s just following the orders I gave it.” He couldn’t help but smile as the tiny pony nuzzled its owner. “It’s that exact spell that earned me these wings.” Lilly Blossom flew to the ground and struck a pose. She held that pose until the magic vanished, leaving her an inanimate toy once again. Alma picked her up and smiled. “Cool.” To Blueblood’s surprise, Alma hugged him around the neck. “Thank you, Prince Blueblood!” The prince sputtered, coughed, and gently pushed the child away. “Ah, certainly. Sure. Whatever.” Alma grinned at him. “Can I see that again?” Rainbow Dash found herself pacing through the house’s many rooms, munching on pizza as she went. She smiled as the cheese stretched, creating a bridge from her plate to her mouth. She slurped it up noisily, enjoying the sheer fun of eating the food. “So, you’re really Rainbow Dash, huh?” The voice caused her to turn, bringing the massive figure of Keefe into focus. “Yeah,” she replied around a mouthful of Italian goodness. “Why?” “I… I owe you an apology.” Rainbow Dash swallowed and wiped her mouth off with the back of her arm. She placed a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. “Okay, shoot.” “I’m sorry for…” Keefe raised his gaze to the ceiling. “I’m sorry for getting angry at you. And yelling at you.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “I’m still not sure what the big deal is. What gives?” “There’s…” Keefe shuffled his feet as blood rushed to his face. “There’s these people who think… who think of you ponies…” He looked at Rainbow. “You know I watch your show, right?” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Kinda common knowledge around here, ain’t it?” “I love your show!” he said. “I love how you girls all get along, and have fun, and go on adventures. I wanted…” His shoulders slumped. “I wanted to share the show with other people who liked it. I wanted to talk about how awesome your sonic rainboom was, or how cute Fluttershy’s animals were, or how cool Twilight’s speech to Discord was…” He rubbed his face with a hand. “So I got online. I looked up forums where people talked about you. I got involved with the community.” He bit his lower lip, watching Rainbow Dash’s response carefully. “Pretty soon I noticed that a lot of people like the show… differently.” “What? They think we’re hot or something?” Rainbow Dash giggled, but the laughter slowed as she noticed the sour look on Keefe’s face. “Wait, really?” “I’d try and steer the conversation back to the show, but they’d always side track it to ‘Look at Twilight’s butt!’ or ‘Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash are totally a couple’ or—” “Alright, that’s enough,” Rainbow Dash said. “So what happened?” “I… got mad,” Keefe sighed. “Real mad. I got into arguments. I got banned from forums. I just…” He shrugged. “I just about left the fandom altogether.” “Wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight…” Rainbow Dash waved her hand at him. “You got into arguments over a cartoon for little girls?” “I…” Keefe tilted his head. “What?” “Seriously, dude, before today you didn’t even know I was real.” Rainbow Dash laughed. “And… and you were ready to argue about me with a girl you’d never even met before? Wow.” “But…” Keefe’s mouth moved noiselessly for a moment. “But I thought you—” “You thought I was trying to get some attention by dressing up as, ahem, Rainbow Dash?” She chuckled. “Newsflash! That’s kinda what I do, that’s kinda who I am! Did you really think you needed to ‘defend the honor’ of a cartoon character?” She walked up to him and shook her head. “So somepony thinks a cartoon character is hot. Big deal! Sucks to be them! Let them talk about my plot. Who cares!?” Keefe sputtered as Rainbow Dash went on. “Focus on the cool, radical, and awesome stuff you like about the show. Be a little positive! Come on man, I thought you were bigger than that.” Rainbow Dash finished off her slice with relish. “B’sides,” she said, “You know why they think I’m hot?” Keefe shook his head, his ego completely deflated. “It’s ’cause I am!” With that, Rainbow Dash walked out of the room, heading back towards where the others were eating. As the sun set, Lavern excused himself and his family. “I’ll let you young people rock the night away, or something like that.” Eudora brought out a deck of cards soon after they left. She dealt the ponies and bronies in, introducing them to the game. It wasn’t long before they were all proficient enough to play well. A snore filled the room. John and Braeburn had fallen asleep side-by-side on the couch, and were now leaning against each other in slumber. Quiet laughter circled the table at the sight. Rainbow Dash struggled to add a new card to her hand. “How in the heck am I supposed to work these stupid fingers?” Keefe put his cards down and cracked his knuckles. “I dunno, I’ve never really gotten used to it.” Eudora placed a car on the table, smiling at the groans that ensued. “The real trick is not to let your hand get too big.” Twilight gave up on holding all of her cards and grasped them in telekinesis. “It’s hard to devise a strategy when half of the game is sheer luck.” “It’s not so bad,” Flash Sentry said. “You just have to be used to working with what you’ve got, and not worrying about what you don’t have.” Blueblood shuffled his hand as he stretched his wings. “Did you learn that in the Crystal Empire? I hear that they’re struggling to get the military on their feet.” Flash grimaced. “Pretty much. I think it’s because we’re so understaffed that Sunset Shimmer was able to sneak in.” Eudora shook her head. “Man, I’ve really got to watch that movie.” Twilight Sparkle jumped. “Um, say, what kind of stuff does the show… show?” Keefe placed a card on the table, wincing as he did so. “Sorry, Redheart. It just shows a few slices of your life. Nightmare Moon, the Grand Galloping Gala”—Blueblood coughed—“that weird little adventure with Mare-do-well”—both Twilight and Rainbow Dash coughed—“that kind of thing.” “Nothing too…” Twilight hmmed. “Nothing too personal, right?” “Well, it is a show for young girls, first and foremost,” Eudora said. “They’re not gonna make an episode about death, or puberty, or something.” “I thought they covered puberty with the cutie mark crusaders,” Keefe muttered. “That’s a stretch.” Eudora laid her final card on the table. “That’s game, everyone.” “But it’s… it’s not too bad, right?” Twilight asked. “Not at all,” Eudora assured her. She passed the deck to Blueblood so that he could shuffle the next round. “Nothing you wouldn’t want shown, I’m sure.” “Oh, good,” Twilight sighed. “I’d hate for a million strangers to know about how I freaked out about the due date for that report. That was kinda embarrassing.” Keefe and Eudora exchanged a glance, but held their tongues. Rainbow Dash snickered. “Do you want it, Twilight?” She followed up with a guffaw. “Do you need it?” Keefe bit his tongue. Hard. “Shut up,” Twilight mumbled. She accepted her cards and examined them. “Say, what’s this card mean, again?” Eudora leaned over and got a look. “That’s a Skip-Bo, it replaces any number you want it to. Basically, a blank check.” “Neat,” Twilight said. “I think I had five of them in my hand last game.” Eudora’s eyebrows lowered. “Really?” “Mm, hmm,” Twilight replied. Blueblood snorted. “The hand hasn’t even started and I’m already losing.” “Well, I’m gonna show all of you this time!” Rainbow Dash leaned on the table with a fiery grin. “Isn’t that right, Keefe?” A smile tugged on the edges of the big man’s mouth. He glanced at John and Braeburn and laughed. “I want someone to record it when those two wake up.” “Got a camera phone,” Eudora said. She held the device up for all to see. “Just give me the word.” Rainbow placed a straight run of one to seven on the table, eliciting gasps from everyone present. She crossed her arms and grinned. “Told yah.” Redheart looked at her cards and tilted her head. “Hey, I’ve got a few runs, too.” Twilight joined her. “Same here.” “What the…” Eudora spread her cards out. “Blueblood, I think we need to have a talk about shuffling.” The prince blinked. “Did I do something wrong?” Keefe rolled his eyes. “The cards are supposed to be mixed up.” “I suppose I require a little more practice.” Blueblood gathered all the cards up and began to shuffle them stiltedly. “Hmm, a lot more practice.” Flash held a finger up to his lips and pointed at the couch across the room. Eudora snuck her phone out of her purse and pointed it at the rousing sleepers. John opened his eyes. Braeburn opened his eyes. They stared at each other for a second. “What are you doing?” John asked. “Nuthin’, what’re you doin’?” Braeburn mumbled. John frowned. “Get away from me.” “Okay.” Braeburn slowly rose from the couch alongside John. They looked at Eudora’s phone and sighed simultaneously. “Never gonna live this down?” John asked. “Eenope,” Braeburn mumbled. John snapped his fingers. “Skip-Bo? Deal me in.” Blueblood grumbled and passed the cards to Flash Sentry. “I can’t deal with this right now.” Flash attempted to shuffle, but gasped as the cards exploded out of his hands. Twilight covered her mouth as giggles sprouted, leading to a very red blush on the royal guard’s face. Eudora nodded ruefully. “That’s the other game I was gonna teach you tonight, fifty-two pickup.”