//------------------------------//
// What Did You Call Me? 
// Story: Not My Little Diamond 
// by MagerBlutooth 
//------------------------------//

Chpt. 17 - What Did You Call Me?

Tuesday, April 1

Fluttershy stirred as the sunlight rapped against her eyelids, and raised her head off the thick, hardback book she was using as a pillow. She wiped the sleepiness out of her eyes, and the purple carpeting of the Carousel Boutique came into view.

At first she was puzzled as to what she was doing at Rarity's and why she had been sleeping on a book, but she came right back into the know as she became aware of the creature lying beside her.

"Oh, Fluttershy," she said, bringing her hoof to her forehead. "Why did you have to lie down?" As she pulled her hoof away, she was greeted a sudden and complete blindness that caused her to shout and topple over. She quickly recovered, placing her hoof over her mouth and lifting the sticky note out of her eyes to check if she had woken the snoozing creature. After verifying he was still asleep, she peeled the note off her forehead and looked it over.

Dearest Fluttershy,

I know it's early, but there's a dire matter of utmost importance that I need to sort out, and I simply cannot afford to procrastinate. I'm terribly sorry to trouble you like this, but could you look after Mork for me until I get back? 

Thanks ever so much, 
Rarity

Impressed that her friend had managed to fit such a lengthy note on such a small piece of paper, Fluttershy turned her attention to her new responsibility, attempting to shake the note off her hoof as she looked at him more closely. 

Mork appeared undisturbed, still resting on Rarity's guest mat just as he had been the previous night, everything but his head wrapped up underneath the largest blanket Rarity could find. He was lying on his back, a large bubble coming out of his nose, its size alternating in rhythm with his blatant snoring. 

"Twilight said he should be better after a full night's sleep," she whispered to herself. "I sure hope she's right." She placed her hoof on his forehead, and softly pressed it down, causing Mork's to stick his tongue out. Much to her relief, it was the same shade of blue it had been when she first saw him in Mr. Rich's house, without a single green spot to be found. She tongue snapped back into his mouth, causing her to step back in surprise, but not as much surprise as she got when she looked down at what she stepped on.

Fortunately, it didn't look like she damaged Mork's hammer in any way, but that didn't stop her from immediately jerking her back hoof away from it. She wasn't sure what Mork's exact relation to that hammer was, but she found it difficult to believe it truly belonged to him. Just touching it sent a malicious chill up her spine, and looking at it wasn't much easier. She couldn't imagine someone as friendly and defenseless as Mork using something so dangerous and scary, especially while he was sleeping like this. She watched as he rolled onto his side, his nose bubble bouncing around without popping as it hit the floor. Then she noticed something off about his wrist.  

"Rainbow Dash," she said, her voice full of disappointment as she stared at his broken watch. She looked to the floor with uncertainty before an optimistic smile spread across her face. "I'm sure he'll understand," she said. "We'll just get him a new watch and everything will be fine." She held her smile for a few more seconds, then threw her forelegs over her eyes as she dropped to the floor. "What am I saying? That watch could have been a priceless family heirloom. Who do I think I am suggesting to buy him something to replace it?" She sighed and pried the sticky note off her face again. "Now he's never going to want to come back, and there was so much we never got to do."

She reached over and picked up her book. "I didn't even get a chance to read him a bedtime story last night." She paused to wipe away the drool stains on the cover. "Do they have bedtime stories where you come from?" Mork rolled over to face the other way as she glanced at him again.

Fluttershy smiled. "I bet your dad reads them to you all the time from that little cloud of his. I'm sure you'd love this one. It's about a beaver and a flamingo that can't get along, but then they find out how much they have in common and become the best of friends. It's Angel's absolute favorite." 

Fluttershy's smile was wiped clean off her face, her eye twitching as the book slipped out of her hooves and silently fell onto the silk carpeting. "Angel," she repeated, the word feeling acidic on her tongue.

She ran over to the window, looking up to the sun to gauge the time. "My poor little Angel! I promised I'd make it up to him. I said I'd do whatever he wanted. He didn't want me to leave!" She looked back to the still sleeping Mork and walked over to him. "Mork," she said sweetly, "you could behave yourself for just a few minutes, right?" He slid his other arm out from under the blanket, his glove nearly touching the note still stuck to Fluttershy's leg.

Fluttershy brought the note back up to look it at. "Oh, you're right. Rarity is counting on me." She looked to the door. "But Angel hasn't had his breakfast yet. What if he runs away? He's not supposed to run on an empty stomach." She pinched her eyes shut as she tried to think of a solution, but froze as something small and hairy landed on front of her mane. 

It was about as heavy as a stuffed animal, and it bounced to the top of her head not a second after landing. Fluttershy clenched her teeth together, her entire body going stiff as sweat dripped down her cheek. She slowly brought her eyes over to Rarity's full body mirror to find there was a large, black spider perched atop her mane, dangling from a web that hung from the ceiling.

Fluttershy let out a breath of relief. "I'm sorry, Mister Spider, I thought you were someone else." She gave it a second glance. "You wouldn't mind watching Mork for a few minutes, would you?"

The spider stood motionless for a few seconds before pulling itself back up to the ceiling. Fluttershy sighed, closing her eyes as she heard a soft whine. Instinctively responding to the noise, she looked back to Mork to find him clutching tightly to his blanket, his face distraught and his formerly round bubble now looking more like a gelatinous ball of spikes.

"Mork, you—are you having a nightmare?" she asked, checking his temperature again. "Was it something I said?"

His eyes still closed, Mork outstretched his exposed arm and grabbed hold of the hammer laying right behind her, pulling it toward himself. She squeaked as he made a lazy, backhanded swipe with it, ducking right before it smacked her across the face. As he brought it around for a second swing, she grabbed onto the handle with her mouth, losing her balance as she pried it away from him and crashed into the dresser behind him, the hammer firmly clenched in her teeth.

As she collided with the dresser, a roll of orange fabric that had been set on top of it fell, bouncing off her head and unrolling itself along the floor, covering Mork as it headed for the door. Fluttershy let go of the hammer to ask Mork if he was okay but paused as she noticed a balloon-like object rising and falling underneath the fabric.

"Maybe I should hold onto this for now," she said, picking up the hammer again. 

Just then, the front door burst open with an explosion of monochrome ribbons, setting the tone as Pinkie Pie sprung into the doorway. She was dressed as a mime, wearing a black beret and white makeup, and she wasted no time before pulling out her trumpet and blasting a deafening note, letting the fabric roll past her and out into the streets after she hovered above the ground. "Happy April Foal's Day, Fluttershy!" she shouted after finishing. 

Fluttershy lifted her ears off her head, but made no reply as she crawled out from under the table. Her attention and confusion went straight toward the fabric-covered lump that continued to rise and fall.

"Ooh, what's that?" Pinkie asked, sliding in beside her. "Is Rarity's new carpet blowing a bubble? Can I pop it?" She reached out to poke it, but Fluttershy was quick on the draw to stop her.

"Pinkie, no," she said, switching to a whisper. "You'll wake him up." She gave him a second glance. "At least, I think you will."

"Wake up the carpet?" Pinkie asked. "Oh, I get it. The old 'pretend the carpet's alive' gag. Classic." She pantomimed a lasso and threw it over the fabric, tugging it away as she pulled it back to reveal the creature sleeping underneath.

"Wow, Mork," Pinkie said. "You can pull pranks even while you're asleep." She leaned forward and whispered, "But you might want to stick to doing them awake. That one wasn't very good."

"Pinkie, what are you doing here?" Fluttershy asked, looking her over. "And why are you dressed like that?"

"Well, I was going to dress as a clown, but I already used my clown costume to..." She caught sight of herself in the mirror, frowned, and unstraightened her beret. "Anyway, I just thought I'd stop by to give you and Mork invitations to his party tonight." She pulled out two party invitations, placing one on Fluttershy's nose and the other on Mork's nose bubble.

"Tonight?" Fluttershy asked.

"Yeah!" Pinkie pulled out her planner. "I had it scheduled for this morning, but I had to reschedule it to to make time for Filthy's cheer-up celebration. He seemed really stressed last night, so I thought I should throw him one ASAP. Then I remembered today was April Foal's Day and I had to re-reschedule it. I can't miss out on all that pranking. Can you imagine? That's why I saved the nighttime for Mork's party, after the day is over." She bounced over Mork and headed back to the front door. "I'll see you both there, and I'm sure Filthy will wanna come too after I cheer him up and everything."

"Mork's going home later today."

Pinkie crashed into an invisible wall before reaching the door, turning around with a frantic mood about her. "What? What do you mean he's going home? He just got here!" 

"I know, but we have to send him home," Fluttershy said, her eyes falling to the floor. "Didn't Twilight tell you? We found out Mork's dad can speak just like we can even though Mork can't." 

Pinkie gasped. "You mean Mork's stupid?"

"No, Pinkie, he's just young. Too young to speak. That's why we have to send him home. We can't keep someone that young away from his family."

"We can be his family," Pinkie said, already back over by them. "Here, put this on." She slapped a false mustache above Fluttershy's lip. 

"Pinkie…" 

Pinkie sighed. "You're right, Fluttershy. I guess I'll have to re-re-schedule his party. Is he leaving soon? Maybe I can throw him a going away party."

"We're sending him home right after the princess introduces him to the town. She should be here in about an hour." 

"An hour? That leaves me less than no time!" She opened an invisible door and stepped into it. "I'll see you both later. I've got some major schedule conflicts to take care of." She slammed the door shut, disappearing from the room altogether.

Peeling the mustache off her face, Fluttershy tried in vain to shake it off her hoof, reminding her of Rarity's equally sticky note still attached to her other hoof. She took a seat next to Mork's makeshift bed, deciding to wait for him to wake up. She was beginning to fear the hushroom he had been forcefed was having some kind of permanent sleep inducing effect on him, but something aside from that was bugging her even more. It felt as though she had forgotten something important again, something that she couldn't afford to forget.

Though the first time it had hit her like a fork in the back of her head, this time it came crashing down on her like an entire drawer of silverware, because this time her memory didn't remind her. This time, her reminder showed up at the front door.

"Angel!" Fluttershy said, disregarding her volume as she leapt over Mork to race across the room. "Thank goodness you're okay. I was so worried." Her greeting was met with a swift slap to the face by the newspaper in Angel's possession. He dropped it to the floor and turned away.

"Okay, I deserved that," she said, turning him around again. "Let me make it up to you. I can...I can finish that ice sculpture. I know you still want that, right?" Angel's face lit up as he vigorously nodded in agreement. Then he held up a tiny cube in his paw, about the size of a grape, before dropping all semblance of joy on his face.

"I can...get more ice." She flinched as the ice cube was thrown against her head, frowning as she looked back to find Angel facing the other way again.

"Would you at least mind telling me how you found me?" Fluttershy asked. Angel pointed down to the newspaper he had weaponized without turning around, prompting Fluttershy to look it over.

She skimmed over the title and article, becoming more engrossed the more she read. "How did this story not make the front page? Anyway, Angel isn't there something I can—" As she glanced back to the doorway, she found her beloved pet was no longer in front of her. 

Confused, Fluttershy looked turned around to find Angel standing by Mork. In his paws, he was holding a blue hammer about as large as his own body and had managed to raise it up in preparation to bring it down on top of a certain head of orange hair.

"Angel!" Fluttershy dove across the room and snatched the hammer out of the rabbit's grip in her mouth, finally getting him to turn toward her. She let it fall out of her mouth to say, "Angel, I am shocked. What did he ever do to you?"

Angel matched her disappointed glare with one of his own, pointing to the green hardcover book beside them.

Fluttershy's ears fell as she realized what he was getting at. "Oh...your storytime. This time I really did forget, didn't I? I'm sorry, Angel. Can you ever forgive me?" 

Angel pondered for a moment, eventually casting a dubious eye on Mork.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that. Mork's not my new pet. He's just a new friend. Like Discord." She had to react quickly to grab the hammer back as Angel snatched it up again. "Okay, maybe not exactly like Discord."

Angel turned his back to her again, and Fluttershy dejectedly dropped the hammer out of her mouth. "Please, Angel, I'll do whatever you want. Just please stop ignoring me. I can't handle it."

Angel leered back at her, his gaze softening as he caught sight of her. She was staring at him at eye-level, her lips trembling as a few stray tears rolled down her face. Angel turned right around and embraced her, a smile finally appearing on his face.

"That's my little Angel," Fluttershy said, wiping her tears away. She soon felt Angel's presence disappear and opened her eyes to see him hopping over to the door. He motioned her to follow as he reached the doorway. 

"You want me to leave?" She looked at the note still stuck to her hoof, then at Mork. He had still shown no signs of even coming close to waking up, and it was beginning to look like it would take Twilight's magic to do so. In that case, it seemed her decision had already been made for her.

"I'm sorry, Rarity." She turned to walk out, stopping as she nearly tripped over Mork's hammer. She noticed how close it was to Mork and considered what would happen if he were to have another nightmare after she left. "I'll give it back after he wakes up. I'm sure he won't mind." She picked up the hammer and uneasily made her way over to the front door, glancing back as she walked every few seconds. 

"I'm sorry, Mork," she said. With a spiteful grin, Angel stuck out his tongue and slammed the door shut.





The door flew open as Rarity burst into the library, three large suitcases floating in behind her. "Twilight!" she said, her exasperation drawing her friend's attention away from her book. "I need your help. It's an emergency."

Twilight gasped, dropping her book to grab a large stick with her magic. "Tell me what happened, Rarity. I'm ready for anything."

"It's Mork," Rarity said, garnering more of Twilight's attention. "He...he stole all my hats."

"He what?" Spike raced down the stairs and jumped onto Twilight's back. "What a total creep."

"He stole all your hats?" Twilight repeated, looking at her in confusion. "Every single one?" 

"That's right!" Rarity said, looking more distressed by the second. "And when I went to buy more, he had stolen the store as well. It was the most terrifying dream I've had since I was a little filly."

Twilight and Spike looked at each other. "A dream?" Twilight asked, setting her stick down. "He stole your hats in a dream you had last night?" Her friend nodded, not losing one ounce of seriousness. "No offense, but how exactly is that an emergency?"

"Well, I suppose 'emergency' might be a bit strong," Rarity said, glancing at her bags, "but seeing as how his fingers are on the sticky side, I thought it would be a good idea to…help reduce the temptation." She opened her suitcases and dumped their contents out onto a nearby table before offering Twilight a pleading smile.

Twilight stared up at the mountain of hats on her table, looking dubiously at her friend. "You know, Rarity, if you don't trust Mork, Spike and I could watch him until the princess gets here."

"We could?" Spike asked, getting a frown from Twilight. 

"Yes, we could," Twilight said. "And if something comes up, I'm sure Fluttershy would be happy to—"

"No, no." Rarity lifted her head. "I don't want to burden you or Fluttershy any more than necessary. I told the princess that I would look after him while he's here, and I am a lady of my word. Besides, what kind of heartless monster would I be if I sent him away after he gave me such a magnificent gift yesterday?"

"It was a pretty nice gift," Spike said, licking his lips.

Rarity cleared her throat. "Yes, and regardless of Spike eating half of it, I think Mork has more than paid for his room and board. As far as I'm concerned, he's welcome in my boutique anytime." She looked to her mountain. "Provided I have time to relocate my hats first."

"What makes you think he'll stop at hats?" Spike asked, grabbing a red bicorne from the pile. 

"Spike," Twilight said, signalling him to stop talking. 

Spike looked away, squeezing the hat tightly in his claws. "Uh, I mean, I'm sure there's nothing to worry about, Rarity. Hey, is that a fedora?" He dove into the pile of satin and silk, disappearing into it.

"Spike does make a valid point," Rarity said. "Mork's already stolen something once. How do we know he won't make a habit of it? How do we know he hasn't already? I still don't know where he was keeping that hammer of his."

Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but her words were stalled as the vision of Mork's smirk from Twinklespark wormed its way into her head. After a brief phase of silence, Twilight shook the image out of her head and gave her answer. "Don't worry about it, Rarity. We already know he's not evil. He's probably too young to know what stealing even is. He does think we're lollipops, after all."

"That is rather adorable," Rarity said with a giggle. "It reminds me of Sweetie Belle when she was that age."

"Not as adorable as me, though, right?" Spike asked, popping out of the pile with a beanie on his head.

"Oh, what could be more adorable than you, Spikey-Wikey?" Rarity said, squeezing his cheeks together. "But that hat doesn't suit you." She flipped it off his head. "You need something that brings out those ravishing scales of yours. Let me see here." 

Twilight chuckled as Rarity meticulously searched through her collection of hats. "Don't take too long, you two. We still have to make sure we're ready for when the princess gets here."

"Quite right," Rarity said, placing a miniature sombrero on Spike's head. "I suppose I should be getting back to watching Mork as well. What time did I need to bring him to town hall again?"

"I just got a letter from the princess this morning" Twilight held the scroll up. "She said she'd be arriving at nine sharp. That leaves us about forty-five minutes to wake him up and bring him there." Twilight put her hoof to her chin. "I guess I better check with Mayor Mare to see if she's prepared town hall for the ceremony."

Spike stopped admiring his hat in the mirror and leapt into the air with a shout.

"Spike, what's wrong?" Rarity asked, inspecting his hat. "Is it too summer?"

"Uh, no, it's just fine." Spike said, scratching his face. "Forget I screamed anything."

Twilight looked at him askance. "Spike, do I need to cast my new spell on you again?" She grinned mischievously.

"N-no, I—" Spike took a step away from her. "I was just thinking about Rarity's dream. It sounded way scary." Rarity gave him an acknowledging pat on the head. 

"I see," Twilight said. "Well, in that case…" Her horn lit up and she fired a beam of purple light his way. The spell was too quick for him to dodge and hit him square in the forehead, creating a bright flash of light that encompassed the entire room and then quickly vanished. 

Spike opened his eyes again after the light faded, not a scale out of place after being hit with the spell. He looked up with a grimace as a white cloud soon manifested over his head, and another Spike appeared on it.

The cloudbound Spike grabbed his tail to comfort himself and said, "I promised the Mayor I'd get her chalkboard back from Cheerilee and I forgot."

The real Spike crossed his arms. "Tattletale."  

"My, my, my," Rarity said, looking up at the cloud. "You learned how to perform Mork's cloud thinking spell in one night? I must say, I'm impressed, Twilight."

"It wasn't easy," Twilight said. "I had to look into some of the oldest books in this library to figure out how it worked. Who would have guessed that combining a cloud-making spell with a mind-reading spell could be so useful?"

"Useful?" Cloud Spike asked. "More like obnoxious. It's like putting your thoughts onstage for everypony to see. Who'd ever want that?" 

"So the Spike on the cloud will say whatever the real Spike is thinking?" Rarity asked, her hoof going straight through the cloud as she poked it.

"Sort of," Twilight said. "It's kind of a weird spell. It works like that for the first sentence, but after that, it's like whatever's on the cloud takes on a mind of its own." 

Cloud Spike reached down and grabbed Spike's sombrero, putting it on his own head. "So Rarity, have I told you how beautiful you look this morning?" He arched his eyebrow and leaned his head out of the cloud.

"See what I mean?" Twilight asked.

"Hey, knock it off already," Spike said, grabbing his hat back and shoving his doppelganger back into the cloud. Twilight and Rarity laughed at the sight.

"I know one thing though," Twilight said. "The princess was absolutely right about Mork. Thought projection, instantaneous cleanup, enhanced physical strength, if he's already mastered spells like these at such a young age, he must be some kind of magical prodigy where he's from. Imagine what sorts of spells his parents might know."

The two Spikes rolled their eyes, and the real one said, "Yeah, yeah, Mork's the best thing since edible soap. Now can we turn off the brain monitor already?"

"Right, sorry, Spike." Twilight zapped Spike's forehead again, causing the cloud to evaporate into the air. "Now what do you have to say for yourself about this chalkboard business? You know better than to break a promise."

Spike tensed up, breaking eye contact with her. "You're not mad at me, are you?" 

Twilight shook her head. "No, I'm not mad. I just want the truth. Why didn't you return the chalkboard?"

"The...truth?" Spike grabbed onto his tail as he started to sweat. "Can we go back to talking about Mork?"

"Spike..." Twilight's horn lit up as she narrowed her eyes.

Spike put his arms over his face in response to the threat. "Okay, okay. I was on my way to take care of it when Rarity asked me to sneak out of Ponyville with her and find those gems. You know I couldn't say no to that."

Rarity became alert as Twilight looked to her for confirmation. "What? Spike, I never…" She froze as she caught his change in expression as she looked over to him. His claws were clasped together, his teeth were clenched, and his eyes were practically blinding her with a pleading insistence. "I never said we were 'sneaking out'. I just said it would be better if Twilight didn't find out." She smiled sheepishly at Twilight. "You're not mad at me for that, are you?"

Twilight sighed. "No, I'm not mad at you either. I should have been more understanding about your problem instead of dismissing it as nothing. I shouldn't have made you feel like you needed to sneak out of Ponyville."

"So we can put yesterday behind us then?" Rarity said hopefully.

Twilight smiled. "That sounds like a good idea. We've still got five days left to protect the Elements, and we can't let anything distract us. We just need to keep our wits about us and stay focused on what's important."

"I agree," Rarity said, walking toward the door. "I think I'll start by dressing up Mork in something suitable for his official Ponyville debut. How do you think he'd look in mauve?"

"That reminds me," Spike said, sidestepping past Twilight, "I better go see Cheerilee about that chalkboard."

"But Spike, we only have a little over half an hour before the princess gets here. I need your help to make sure I didn't forget anything."

Spike opened the door. "It won't take long. I'll meet up with you at town hall." He dashed outside without another word.

"As will I," Rarity said, backing outside. "Again, thank you for looking after my hats, Twilight. Take care." She shut the door and turned to face Spike. He had run a distance away from the library and was looking at a shrub beside him.

"Now, Spike," she said quietly as she approached him. "Would you be so kind as to tell me why you wanted me to lie to our friend Twilight?" She received no response. He didn't even turn around.

"Spike?" she asked as she got closer. "What's the matter?"

Spike still said nothing after she reached him. He just raised his arm and pointed at the bush. 

Rarity looked to where he was pointing to find a rainbow-maned, powder-faced pony with a red nose and floppy shoes lying on the other side, totally asleep. The two of them walked through the bush to reach her and stared down in silence. Eventually, Rarity turned to the dragon and said, "Spike, you are my witness. I had nothing to do this."

"We should probably wake her up," Spike said, an idea forming as he took off his hat and placed it on Rainbow's head. The second he did so, Rainbow's eyes shot open.

"I said no goofy hats!" she shouted, leaping off the ground. She took a moment to get her bearings before pointing a hoof at Spike. "You!" She tackled him to the ground and stared down at him. "I've been up all night searching for which one of Fluttershy's pets took my necklace. Which one was it, huh? Angel? Batty? Pigeontoe? Was it that crafty-looking flamingo of hers? Tell me right now!"

Spike blinked, not sure whether to be intimidated or burst out laughing and finding it difficult to do either.

"Rainbow Dash, get off him," Rarity said, separating the two. "Now just what on earth happened to you? Why are you—" She let out a shout as she spotted the missing article on Rainbow's neck, which Rainbow promptly silenced with a hoof to the mouth. 

"Rarity, I can explain," Rainbow said.

Removing Rainbow's hoof, Rarity turned around. "Spike, you told me she found it already. We have to tell Twilight before—"

Rainbow covered her mouth again. "Twilight doesn't need to know anything. I've got it under control."

"Really?" Rarity asked, pushing her hoof away. "Did Twilight cast a spell on your necklace to make it invisible to everypony?"

Rainbow grimaced. "Well, no, but..."

"Then you most certainly do not have it under control. How could you let this happen, Rainbow Dash?" 

"I know. I know." Rainbow banged her head against a nearby tree. "I'm irresponsible, I'm selfish, and I doomed Equestria, but Twilight's gonna write that on every birthday card she gives me for the rest of my life if you tell her what happened. Please don't tell her, Rarity. Let me clean up my own mess."

"But this isn't your mess, Rainbow Dash. It affects all of us, and by that I mean all of us. We can't afford to take this lightly." She turned back toward the library. "I'm sorry Rainbow, but if your necklace is still lost, Twilight needs to—"

"Rarity, wait! You can't tell her!"

"Rainbow Dash, honestly. I understand how you feel, but—" Rarity stopped as she realized it wasn't Rainbow's voice she had just heard. She looked down to see the purple dragon looking up at her with the same pleading eyes he had earlier, his claws wrapped around her leg.

"Please don't tell Twilight," he said. "Please."

"What are you talking about, Spike? Whose side are you on here?"

Spike shook his head. "You don't understand, Rarity. Twilight can't find out about this. Every time she gets angry, she gets these terrible headaches and blows up. The madder she gets, the more she loses control. If she finds out about this, she won't just blow up. She'll explode."

Rarity raised an eyebrow. "What's the difference?"

"I mean one of them literally." 

"I understand your concern, Spike, but if Rainbow's necklace is missing—"

"It's not missing!" Rainbow said, flying above her. "Spike knows where it is, right?"

"Well, not exactly," Spike said, scratching the dirt with his foot.  "But I know who took it, and I think I know who knows where they went."

"You see, Rarity?" Rainbow said, letting out a yawn. "Spike and I got this all taken care of. We'll have it back before lunch, no problem.

Rarity pondered their proposal. "But what about Twilight, Spike? She needs her number one assistant."

Spike's eyes welled up as he lowered his head. "I know, but...this is something I need. I just can't shake this feeling. I had the necklace in my claws yesterday, and I let it get stolen from me. I wanna clean up my mess too. Can you cover for me, Rarity?"

"Me? But I—" She flinched as Spike's pleading eyes came back. "Fine, fine. Just please stop looking at me like that. I'll give you both until the end of the day to find Rainbow's necklace. If you can't find it by then, we have to tell Twilight."

"Deal," Rainbow said, raising her leg to shake on it. "What the—" She spotted the oversized shoe on her hoof and groaned. "Pinkie Pie." 

"Oh, and would you mind stopping by my boutique and asking Fluttershy to bring Mork to town hall, placing special emphasis on how sorry I am?"

Rainbow groaned. "Fine, get on, Spike. If you're coming with me, I'm not letting you slow me down." 

"Aren't you gonna take the clown stuff off?" Spike asked as he got on.

"Nuh-uh," Rainbow said. "Number one rule of April Foal's Day. You get pranked, you stay pranked 'till the sun goes down." She sighed and looked up drearily. "No exceptions."

Rainbow heaved herself off the ground with a yawn and the two took off, whooshing away at the speed of a balloon taking off as Rarity waved good-bye.

Rarity reentered the library, and Twilight turned to her after finishing charging up the disco ball hanging from her ceiling. "What's wrong, Rarity? Need me to watch over your horseshoes too?"

Rarity pretended to laugh. "Actually, Spike wanted me to tell you that he remembered another errand he forgot to do yesterday. He said it would take him at least the rest of the day to finish it."

"The whole day?" Twilight asked. "But who's going to help me with all the work I have to do? I have over six-hundred different forcefields and magical barriers to experiment with today, and I need someone to help me categorize them by effectiveness."

"Rainbow Dash, you owe me big time for this," Rarity mumbled to herself. "Would it be okay if I filled his role?" she suggested.

"You? But what about Mork and Fluttershy? What about your promise to the princess?" 

"I'm sure the princess will understand if I were to take a little break to help out a friend, and I know Fluttershy won't mind. You know how she is with exotic animals. She wouldn't leave Mork's side unless somepony asked her to."





Over the years, I've come to form the opinion that dreaming and being awake are two entirely different matters. It's still only a theory of mine, but as far as I understand, dreams don't follow the laws of reality. I can fall off a fifty-foot bridge and land on lava-coated barbed wire as a radioactive elephant falls on top of me and walk away without a scratch, but unless I'm dreaming, I'm going to have stagger around with my tongue hanging out after it's all said and done. That's the true beauty of a dream. It can't hurt you because none of it's real.

I wanted to believe Equestria was a dream world, a place where I could bring my dream to life and quench the expanding desert of my childhood fantasies. Unfortunately, Equestria had no place for dreams unless they were weird ones involving giant versions of people's roommates, and I was treated to a dreamless slumber until the eventual rude awakening of the morning.  

I knew they weren't exactly an industrial society, but I thought they had at least invented the alarm clock or the rooster. Instead, the wakeup call they had prepared for me was the repetitive sensation of hair brushing up against my nose and irritating my pimple with each passing.      

My sleep bubble popped as I opened my eyes to the sight of Diamondback's cat pacing around on my chest, her tail colliding with my face every time she spun around and her expression painfully complacent.

Had I woken up to this scenario the day before, I would have jumped to the conclusion that the cat was preparing to transform into a tornado that would send me hurtling across the room with a chance of inflicting dizziness. However, that morning I woke up to find a cat with minimal tornado powers trying to find a comfortable spot on my shirt. 

Reminds me why I stopped sleeping outside.

The cat soon settled down for a nap before I had to resort to any chucking or flinging. I didn't want to admit it, but the environment I had woken up to was downright utopian. The classical music was almost paralyzingly calm without any screaming drowning it out. The swarm of Diamondback's voodoo dolls around me added some charming creepiness to the place and were just as silent and nostalgic as a certain other horse-like figure I could mention. All it was missing was Fluttershy's voice, but unfortunately, something had removed her from the premises. It didn't matter to me that much, though. Not even peace or quiet was going to cheer me up now.

The book Fluttershy had slept on was still there, and next to it was what looked like a party invitation with my name on it, no doubt one of the many Twilight had planned for me. I didn't want to think about it, so I turned my attention elsewhere and caught something lying next to the front door, which had finally reverted to its natural state of repair. It looked like a newspaper, and after stretching out my arms a bit, I found that it was. The date at the top claimed I had finally broken free from the shackles of Monday and entered the month of April. 

Woohoo. 

Having nothing better to do, I looked over the article, just hoping it had nothing to do with any plants. 

A mysterious orange-haired beast of unknown origin was seen rampaging through town yesterday morning, causing quite a bit of commotion and mild property damage. However, unlike a number of other monsters that have invaded our peaceful streets, it would seem that this one is just an excitable tourist from a far-off land.

"He's our guest," local librarian Twilight Sparkle said when interrogated about the creature in question. She went on to say that the esteemed Princess Celestia will be making a ceremonial appearance this morning to formally introduce the creature to the town before his departure later today. Until then, he is believed to be staying at the local Carousel Boutique, where the store's proprietor, whose name we have been unable to confirm, is watching after him.

Following the creature's initial rampage, no further incidents with the creature have been reported, though there have been several confirmed sightings of the creature casually strolling through town wearing laughably opulent clothing. Many are speculating him to be a travelling circus performer or a foreign ruler's court jester. Either way, it would seem that April Foal's Day arrived in Ponyville early this year, but the attempted joke fell completely flat.

I crumpled the paper up and threw it across the room. It was just as I suspected. Monsters were as common in this town as they were in your average metropolis, and the closest I was getting were bad puns. That was the camel breaker. I refused to subject myself to fake supernature for one more second. This game was over.

"All right," I said, filling the room with a voice I almost forgot was my own. "You win, Princess. You win and I lose. You can send me home now." 

There was no response other than the cat opening an eye.

"Come on. Use your amazing powers and bring back the floating goo. Gloat about how much better you are than me. I know you want to. I know how much fun it is."

"Unbelievable."

I groaned as I heard the voice, reluctantly leaning off my mat and forcing the witch's pet off my chest to face it head-on. I cast a sour glare over my shoulder only to get a stick in my head as a reward.

"Ow!" I shouted, grabbing my ear. "What are you—" My protests were interrupted as a tiny hand yanked my mouth clean off my face. 

"You can have this back after you learn how to use it properly," Devil Me said, smacking my lips against the top of my head. 

How about you keep it and we switch places?

"I don't think so," Devil Me said, putting my mouth into his hammerspace. "Even this job beats being a horse's pet."

"Now, Iddy, don't be like that." Angel Me's voice echoed through the room before he appeared in a flash of light on his favorite shoulder. "At least they're good pet owners."

That better be a joke, or I will find a way to bite you.

"Don't feel bad...Mork," Angel Me said, hiccuping a giggle at the name. "There's nothing wrong with being a pet. Look, you even have a playmate." He pointed to the edge of the mat where the cat was playing with my shoelace again.

"And to think you almost decided not to come here," Devil Me said, lying flat on his stomach in midair with his chin resting on his palms.

I'm not their pet. I'm just—

"You're just acting like one so you don't have to talk to anyone," Devil Me said, rolling his eyes. "You think that's making me any less of a laughingstock at the office?"

"Ignore him," Angel Me said, keeping his voice down. "He hasn't been to the office in three years. He's just upset because he lost a bet with your roommate's conscience." He had to duck to barely dodge the bolt of fire that sailed right between his halo and his head.

"Am I going to have to take your mouth next?" Devil Me asked, pointing his smoking pitchfork at Angel Me's face.

You know, not that I'm not overjoyed to see you two, but why are you here? I know you didn't transcend the dimensional barrier just to give me the usual spiel, especially on a holiday.

"Don't be a grouch," Angel Me said. "We come bearing good news. Don't we, Iddy?"

"Go punch the sun," he said, folding his arms as he turned away from both of us. 

"Ta-da!" Angel Me handed me a pink piece of paper, creased in two places as if it had come from an envelope. My curiosity won the coin toss, and I gave it a look.

I thought you said you had good news. This a letter from The Board.

"Keep reading. It gets better," Angel Me said, rubbing his hands together with glee as I skimmed over the rest.

This is a prank, right? Did Devil Me talk you into this? I thought you weren't allowed to give into peer pressure.

"It's perfectly serious," Angel Me said, Devil Me's silence confirming his sincerity. "You're the first person from your world to ever come to Equestria, and the good members of The Board want you to be the official representative." 

I fell back onto my pillow, throwing my hands over my face.

Angel Me patted me on the head. "I know you're nervous, but there's nothing to be afraid of. They're not expecting much. They didn't even assign you a role. If you want, you can just keep on being their loyal pet for a few days and you'll more than meet their requirements."

Devil Me's proud, unrestrained laughter destroyed whatever optimistic mood Angel Me was going for. As his laughter came to an end, he began twirling his pitchfork between two of his fingers. "Yeah, no, he won't be doing that."

"You're so boring, Iddy," Angel Me said, floating over to the other shoulder. "Why does he always have to be mean? Why can't he do something cute for a change?"

"Always?" Devil Me asked in exasperation. "He hasn't been mean since he started his stupid psychology studies. He can't even open his mouth without saying something respectful, and he's not getting it back until he knocks it off. Besides, have you seen this place? It can't handle any more cute. It's desperately in need of some conflict, and he's got a lot of ground to cover to make up for yesterday."

"He did great yesterday. He does so much better acting as an animal than a person with manners."

"He needs to stop acting like something and start being someone. Maybe then I'd actually put this job on my resumé."

"As if you could even find a job other than this. You can't even touch type—"

The explosive fireworks of a piece of paper being torn in half stole their attention away. I held the two pieces of the letter in my hands as I directed all my frustration toward them through my eyes. Once silence returned, I tore the letter to shreds like my hands were made of sawblades, throwing up the resulting confetti and letting it rain down.

"I was going to frame that," Angel Me said, sadly grabbing one of the pieces out of the air. I grabbed hold of him and held him up to my face like a hand mirror.

I'm only going to think this once: I'm not being their pet. I'm not being their enemy. I'm not going to their party. I'm not being introduced to the town. I want nothing to do with this place. Not anymore. I'm going home.

Angel Me gasped. Devil Me grabbed me by the shirt collar and pulled me forward. "Are you out of your mind? You can't skip out on crossover duty. The Board'll put you on a bus for that."

Not a magic bus, though. Sounds good to me.

I took back control of my shirt and let go of Angel Me, loosing the cat from my shoelace so I could stand up. Angel Me was in my face within seconds. 

"Hang on a second," he said. "Don't you want to figure out the story behind those two cloned fillies? Or why those strange marks are called postage stamps? Or whether or not the anti-magic resistance can overthrow that obnoxious princess?" 

Magic spell, magic's stupid, magic wins. Can I go now? 

A constraining band of leather wrapping around my neck answered my question before Devil Me could say "absolutely not." He jerked back on the leash, forcefully tugging me inches away from his face. "You've already embarrassed me enough. There's no way I'm letting you run away from this fight before it even starts."

You heard Fluttershy. No fighting allowed.

"Good boy," Angel Me said, earning my chagrin as he favorably scratched my head. "I knew you had at least some manners in you." 

It was a joke.

"Are you sure?" Devil Me asked, false innocence in his tone. "You're such good friends with them now I couldn't tell."

I told you. We're not friends. None of them know my real name, and some of them don't even like me.

Devil Me snorted. "You mean the two-faced, little dairy product with even less relevance than you? Why don't you just get that pillow to hate your guts while you're at it?"

Hey, Diamondback and Rainbow Dash despised me plenty.

"Yeah, they sure did," he said, picking up the crumpled newspaper to unfold it. "But unless they've got a thing against court jesters, I think that window's closed."

What do you want from me? I had adventure vision yesterday. I could be this town's worst nightmare if I wanted to be.

"Really now? You? Antagonize something?" He pulled out my lips and waved them in front of me. "Here's your mouth. Care to put something where it is?"

You know I don't gamble.

Devil Me smacked me across the face with my own mouth. "No, you don't. You don't take any risks, do you?" 

"That's not true," Angel Me swiped my mouth away and put it back on my face, flipping it around to smile. "He takes plenty of risks. He came here, didn't he?" 

"Thanks to me," Devil Me said. "And you saw how much effort that took." I frowned again.

So I like to be careful. That's how masterminds operate.

"No, that's how cowards operate, and that brings me to my next point."

I am not a coward. Angel Me, make him take that back.

Something knocked at the door, and all three of us turned to it as a familiar voice called from the other side. "Fluttershy? Are you up yet? It's Spike and Rainbow Dash." 

Devil Me smirked. "Okay then, let's test your theory." He pointed to the front door. "Prove to me you're not a coward."

I narrowed my gaze as I got off the mat, standing up as straight as I could as the doorknob began to turn. Then, the restrained power of a flying horse's leg shoved the door aside, and two figures entered the room. There was no time for me to debate my decision. There was no time to feel regret, remorse, or ridiculous. The axons fired and I went for it. I fell back onto my hands, smiled brightly at my guests, and let my pet name slip through my lips with an obnoxiously upbeat inflection.

Rainbow stared back in apathy, which didn't at all complement the red nose and floppy shoes look she had going that morning. Her wings looked like they were barely keeping her airborne as she floated next to her little dragon associate. Showing no real effort to lower her volume, she glanced down at him and asked, "You sure this thing didn't take it?"

The dragon shrugged. "You heard what the princess said."

"All right." She let out a big yawn before looking to me and saying, "Twilight needs you to go to town hall." She stifled a laugh as she turned around to leave. "Nice collar, by the way."

Nice makeup.

"Uh, Rainbow?" The dragon called after her. "You think it's okay that we leave this thing here alone?"

"Fluttershy wouldn't have left it here if she didn't think it could handle itself. Now, come on. My necklace isn't gonna get found while we're hanging out at the petting zoo."

He gave me one last look of uncertainty. "Fine, follow me. I think I know where we can find her." He ran back outside, looking about as determined as he was when he attacked me yesterday.

"Her?" Rainbow followed after him at a sluggish pace that made me question if it was actually the same Rainbow Dash. I considered if she could be a clone of Rainbow, but I didn't have long. The slow clapping began right after she left.

"So, Mork, which of your new owners is your favorite? Swirly Hair or Perfect Voice?"

Don't insult me. You know I prefer Fluttershy. 

Devil Me sneered, then gasped as he pointed behind me. "Look! Look! Your future self wants to play fetch with you." He pointed down to my ankles where Diamondback's cat was looking up at me, holding a rubber mouse in its teeth. 

He stood on the cat's head, naturally getting no response from her. "Can't you see it? Passive, unimportant, uninvolved, useless, not even any theme music to speak of. Maybe you should get put on that bus. That way—"

"Shush," Angel Me said, placing his hand over Devil Me's mouth. "We're trying to convince him to stay here and do his job." 

"Fine," he said, pushing Angel Me aside. "I'll convince him." He flew up and looked me straight in the eye. He could have insulted me. He could have threatened me. He could have stabbed, choked, or slapped me again. However, he did something far worse than any of that with a single observational statement.

"They took your hammer."

My eyes went cold as I looked to where Fluttershy had slept last night. It wasn't there. I checked my hammerspace. It wasn't there either. It looked to the massive spider web on the ceiling. Nothing. A dark shadow cast over my face as I tore the collar off my neck and met eyes with my devilish self. "What do I need to do?" I asked.

Devil Me flashed a victorious grin. "Simple. Since you clearly can't do anything yourself, you need to find this world's main villain and join forces with them. If you're lucky, they might lend you some of their competence." He looked to Angel Me. "Anything you want to needlessly add?"

"Not today. As long as he's doing his job, I can count that as a moral victory."

"Heh, whatever." The two disappeared, leaving me alone with my thoughts and my anger. I rose onto my feet and looked down at the cat, still looking up at me with her rubber mouse. I picked her up and placed her on my shoulder. 

"Diamondback's cat, from this day forward, your name is...irrelevant. You are now my evil minion, and you will do exactly what I say in accordance with my exact thoughts, understand?" She squeaked her toy in response. "And we're off."

I had no idea where this town hall Rainbow mentioned was located, but the prestigious orange carpeting that had been so carefully laid out for me seemed like the obvious answer. However, I needed to find the leader of the Blanks, the mastermind behind the rebellious uprising, which meant I needed to take a path the Horns and Wings weren't expecting me to take. Knowing their princess, she was probably expecting to follow the bright carpeting just because it was shiny and vibrant, but I wouldn't be so easily fooled. 

The warmth of the sun felt invigorating despite its cold shoulder, and strangely enough it was the only sign of life anywhere near the witch's lair. Normally such tranquility would have been wonderful, but not when I was looking to strike fear into the hearts of those who would dare steal my most prized possession. My thoughts slipped into single-minded seething rage as I contemplated what magical experimentation they planned to use it for. I could almost hear it calling out for me to rescue it. However, it turned out it was my new minion squeaking her toy again in an attempt to get my attention, because she shifted my head upright just before bumping noses with a wooden pole.

"G-good work, minion," I said, glancing around to make sure my reputation hadn't already been irreparably damaged. "Now help me tear this pole to the ground for standing in our way."

"And what happened next?" I turned to the pole in curiosity after hearing it speak.

"I managed to get us both to shore, but honestly I think that's the last we'll see of the Apple family kayak."

Hearing the familiar voice, I peeked around the pole to spot Applejack sitting at a table with some purple Blank I hadn't met yet. Fortunately, the pole was a good two inches wide, so I could hide behind it without being seen, which made it a perfect opportunity to get some intel.

"I don't understand," the other Blank said. "Is Apple Bloom afraid of frogs?"

"'Course not," Applejack said. "She thought it was Diamond Tiara's trained attack frog sent to lick her brains out. Her words, not mine."

Diamond...Tiara? It's not Diamondback? Why do I keep getting all these names slightly wrong?

"I see," the purple one said. "And you're sure this isn't about that wild animal that ran across the playground yesterday?"

"Trust me, Cheerilee, she didn't ask her brother ta check her closet at three in the morning because she thought she heard Mork giggling."

I remember now. Mr. Rich used that witch's name as a curse word yesterday. Must be an inside joke for Blanks. Clever.

"Well, in any case, I'm glad you came to talk to me about this. I can't believe Apple Bloom blames herself for what happened yesterday." 

"Yer tellin' me. She even thinks this whole thing has to do with a stinkin' piece a jewelry. Can you believe it?" 

Cheerilee cleared her throat. "Yes, well, rest assured, Applejack, you can tell Apple Bloom she shouldn't have to worry about Diamond Tiara for quite some time."

That sounded...hostile. Is that why no one was watching me this morning?

"That was mighty quick of ya, Cheerilee. How'd ya pull it off? You make her an offer she couldn't refuse?"

Wait, why is Applejack in favor of this? I thought she was on the witch's side. Is she a double agent?

"I guess you could call it an offer that she wouldn't let herself refuse."

"Beg pardon?" 

Cheerilee giggled. "Let's just say I ran into Diamond Tiara on the way here, and I wouldn't be surprised if those two are playing together right now." 

Whatever Applejack was drinking came shooting straight back out of her mouth. She coughed a few times as she caught her breath, but I had to tune out her shouting to contemplate something.

Something's not adding up here. If these two are members of the resistance, why are they so concerned with this Apple Bloom character? Everyone knows sympathetic villains can't be trusted. They always defect. So does that make Applejack a triple agent?  

Regardless of her allegiance, she whooshed past me at that moment without so much as an attempt to subjugate herself to me. I was partially offended, but I decided to turn my attention to Cheerilee instead. If she made the decisions about who got axed off, she had to be pretty high up on the power ladder.

I slipped out from behind the pole, almost immediately grabbing the attention of the purple mare. Though she was mildly surprised, she didn't run away or panic. She just seemed to be examining me, and she kept at it as her intro music took off. 

My mother's advice rang through my ears as I heard that jaunty melody. It was the theme of a little girl prancing through a field of smiling daffodils with a picnic basket on her way to her grandmother's charity auction. I kept waiting for it to distort into an explosive heavy-metal guitar solo, but all I heard were my expectations shattering as she approached me with a look of optimistic caution. 

She's not a villain. This high-ranking Blank isn't a villain, which means neither are Applejack or the rest of her subordinates. And if the Blanks aren't the villains, then the ones I'm looking to join forces with are...

Oh...Diamond Tiara.





Sweetie Belle stared up at the sky as she relaxed in a lawn chair outside the Crusaders' clubhouse, enjoying the beauty of the morning. The weather team had really gotten creative with the funny cloud shapes this year.

"Flashlight."

"Flashlight."

One was shaped like a circus tent. Another looked like a ceiling fan. There was even one that looked like one of her sister's elaborate dresses.

"Marker."

"Marker."

Her personal favorite was the one that looked like a giant ice cream cone. Something about it just really brought a smile to a face.

"Heart Listener."

"Heart Listener."

Sweetie Belle's smile fell, and she lifted her head off the chair. "Heart Listener?" 

Scootaloo placed the chest piece of her stethoscope on the black circle she had drawn just near the top of Sweetie's forehead. "I don't have a drill," she said, circling her horn with the device. "I gotta improvise."

Sweetie rubbed the circle off her forehead and got out of the chair, donning the large, orange sun hat she had set on the ground. "Girls, don't you think you're overreacting just a bit?"

Apple Bloom turned her flashlight on, causing Sweetie to flinch as she shined it in her face. "When you start a conversation with 'Guess what? Diamond Tiara's my new friend.', how are we supposed to react?" 

"Especially after what she did yesterday," Scootaloo said, bitterly looking at the dirt. 

"You don't understand," Sweetie said. "She only said all that stuff because she was mad about losing her ice cream privileges."

"Did she lose 'em the day she was born?" Apple Bloom asked, jumping up onto the lawn chair. "'Cause a pony don't just turn into a timberwolf overnight." 

"Yeah," Scootaloo said. "I don't care if she lost her cupcake privileges. She's still going on my list." 

"What list?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"The list I should have made a long time ago." Scootaloo flashed a piece of paper in Sweetie's face titled "Friends for Never" with Diamond's crudely-scrawled face taking up more than half of it. "Don't make me put you on it too, Sweetie Belle."

Sweetie hesitated for a moment, searching for a way to change the tone of the discussion. "Well, what if she felt really really bad about what she said yesterday?"

"I guess Rainbow Dash would have to start watching out for pigs," Scootaloo said, giving it half a second of thought. "What do you think, Apple Bloom?"

"Actually, I'd buy it," Apple Bloom said, thinking about it for about a full second. "There's no telling what sorta crazy stuff she could do now that she's lost her mind." 

"Lost her mind? That's crazy talk," Scootaloo said, scribbling thick eyebrows onto her drawing. "She just wants us all to suffer because Miss Cheerilee hasn't given her that dumb tiara back yet."

"I don't know," Sweetie Belle said. "She sure seemed to want me to have fun when we hung out yesterday." 

Sweetie's comment brought her back to their group's center of attention, and she found herself back on the lawn chair before she had time to go into any detail, her massive hat falling over her eyes.

"Don't worry, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said, flipping the flashlight on again. "Whatever weird, crazy bug she put in there, the Cutie Mark Crusader Brain Surgeons will...hope it don't like bright lights."

"Hang on a second," Scootaloo said, taking a closer look at Sweetie's bewildered face. "I see what's going on here." She pointed her hoof right at the reclining filly's nose. "Sweetie Belle's messing with us."

"Huh?" Sweetie and Apple Bloom asked together.

"Oh, duh," Apple Bloom said, smacking herself in the forehead. "Today's April Foal's Day."

"I should have known from the start," Scootaloo said, pointing to Sweetie's hat. "You even wore this ridiculous thing so you could hide your face from us. I gotta admit, that was pretty clever."

Sweetie Belle looked up at her sparkling orange sun hat. "Actually, this is just my punishment. Rarity made me wear this after Diamond tried to help me get my cutie mark. It didn't exactly go like we planned."

"Wow, you really thought this out," Scootaloo said. "All right. I'll bite. What did she help you do? Frog kissing? Garbage swimming? Cactus eating?"

Apple Bloom slid in beside Scootaloo. "Did she make you wear a pumpkin and throw ya to the squirrels?"

"No," Sweetie said, her defensive tone quickly stolen by hesitance. "She made me wear a viking helmet and shot me out of a cannon."

"She got you in trouble and she stole my idea? Figures. Even imaginary Diamond Tiara's a jerk. I'm putting her on my list too." Scootaloo picked up her crayon to draw a second Diamond on her paper.

"I'm just glad you were joking," Apple Bloom said, accepting the cupcake she had just been offered. "I was worried you might have invited her here or something." She took a bite out of the cupcake and swallowed, looking down to admire its brilliant red icing.

"How's it taste?"

"Actually, it's pretty good," Apple Bloom said, turning to her right. "Thanks, Diamond Ti—ah!" As she caught sight of the pink filly's smiling face, she bounced off the ground like she was made of rubber, dashing to the other side of the lawn chair before touching the ground. She peeked out from behind the chair, eyes wide with horror as she looked ahead. "You guys see her too, right?" she whispered to the others.

"Yeah, I see her," Scootaloo said, her narrowed eyes deadset on their new guest.

"Good morning, Sweetie Belle," Diamond said, her eyes twinkling with excitement. To her left was a cart covered in a lavish, pink cloth with a tray on top that had two more cupcakes on it. She grabbed the one with pink and purple frosting and continued. "Did you tell our friends about all the fun we had yesterday?"

"Well, I tried," Sweetie said, readily accepting the cupcake. "They thought I was joking."

"I told you." Diamond pushed her cart past Sweetie Belle. "You're just too funny for your own good." She wheeled up to the one with the crayon. "What'cha doing, Scootaloo?"

Scootaloo threw her body over her list to cover it, closing her eyes as she silently turned her head away from the purple frosted cupcake Diamond offered.

"Did you make these yourself?" Sweetie asked, her mouth half full.

"Of course I did. I woke my dad up early so we could make something special for my friends," Diamond said, moving the cupcake right under Scootaloo's nose. "I even got him to use real sugar."

"What of it?" Scootaloo asked, turning away completely.

Diamond's toothy smile relaxed to a closed-mouth grin. "Is there a problem, Scootaloo?"

"You want me to eat something you made on April Foal's Day?" she asked, partly turning back. "You must think I'm as dumb as you say you do."

"Scootaloo..." Sweetie said with a wilted expression.

"It's okay, Sweetie Belle," Diamond said, placing the cupcake back on the tray. "She doesn't have to eat my amazingly thoughtful gift if she doesn't want it. I won't hold it against her."

"Against me?" Scootaloo spun back around, jolting onto her hooves. "Against me?"

"Apple Bloom, you dropped your cupcake," Diamond said, a look of disappointment on her face as she walked past Scootaloo toward the lawn chair.

Apple Bloom looked at the dirt and yelped as she spotted the fallen pastry. Her eyes went shifty, and she shrunk back. "Y-ya gotta understand. I didn't mean nothing by it. It was an accident, I swear!" Diamond's full smile came back, causing Apple Bloom to hide behind the chair. 

"An accident, huh?" Diamond said as she pulled her cart to a stop, reaching underneath the pink cloth. She pulled her hoof out and extended it to Apple Bloom, revealing a pink cupcake with purple and white frosting. "That's okay. You can have mine." 

Apple Bloom screamed as the cupcake was presented to her. She leapt into the air again, manically flailing her legs around. "Her plan's all coming together!" She dashed behind Sweetie Belle, snatched her sun hat off her head, and concealed herself underneath it. 

Sweetie looked between the fuming filly biting the crayon to her right and the trembling one peeking out of the hat beside her. "Uh, Diamond, could you excuse us for a second?"

"So," Diamond said, tossing the cupcake away, "are you three ready to finally earn your cutie marks?"

"We sure are," Sweetie said before Scootaloo drifted in beside her.

"Yeah, we are," she said, wrapping her leg around Sweetie. "And it sure would be nice if you left so we could get started."

"Then it's settled," Diamond said. "Who's up for some archery practice?"

Scootaloo lowered Sweetie's hoof. "Did you even hear what I said? We don't want any of your help. Just leave us alone."

"But I thought the Cutie Mark Crusaders were supposed to stick together," Diamond said.

"Yeah, so what?" Scootaloo said. "You're not a Cutie Mark Crusader."

Diamond shut her eyes and smiled as she reached underneath her cart's cover again. "Are you sure about that?" She pulled out a red cape with their club's insignia on it, wrapping it around her back and striking an adventurous pose.

"No!" Apple Bloom shouted, springing out from under her hiding place. 

"Where did you get that?" Scootaloo asked, turning right to Sweetie Belle.

"Did I forget to mention that?" Sweetie asked, holding onto her innocent smile for dear life.

"So, now that that's out of the way, how about that archery?" Diamond asked, walking up to them. "I bet you'll be really good at it, Scootaloo."

"You think so?" Scootaloo asked, pondering the idea for a moment before shaking it off. "Oh, no you don't. I'm not falling for any of this. You're up to something. I don't know what, but I know it's something. Besides, you can't just put on that cape and call yourself a Cutie Mark Crusader. You have to actually be able to crusade for a cutie mark, and you already have yours." Apple Bloom nodded insistently.

"But I can still help you crusade for yours. Doesn't that count?" Diamond asked.

"Sounds fair to me," Sweetie Belle said.

Scootaloo groaned. "Fine..."

"But uh, you gotta pass an initiation to be an official member," Apple Bloom said, sweating like a real brain surgeon during surgery. "And that'd just be a waste of yer valuable time." 

"Are you kidding?" Diamond asked. "We're all wasting valuable crusading time every second I'm not passing that initiation. What do I have to do?"

Not expecting anything close to such a response, Apple Bloom hastily fumbled through her brain, trying to come up with an answer. "You have ta...uh...you have ta—"

"Eat a bug!" Scootaloo exclaimed. After processing her words, Diamond and Apple Bloom both went wide-eyed.

"Eat a bug?" Sweetie asked. "Isn't that kinda—"

"Are ya out of yer mind?" Apple Bloom whispered as loudly as she could, shoving her face right against Scootaloo's. "Do ya want her ta turn us ta stone?"

Scootaloo pushed her head forward. "Hey, I'm just trying to get her to leave. And I didn't see you coming up with anything better."

"I was gonna say she had ta do somethin' borin'! Not somethin' crazier than she is."

"For the last time, Apple Bloom, she's not crazy. She's just a big—"

A loud, crunching noise drew them out of their argument. All three of them looked over in unison, to see a shallow hole had been dug at Diamond's hooves. Her cheeks were puffed out, a couple bits of dirt scattered around her lips, and hanging out of her mouth was a wriggling, black leg, which was promptly slurped behind her lips along with the rest of the soil that clung to it. She swallowed everything in one, long gulp, shivering violently for a few seconds before straining a dirt-caked toothy smile.

"I'm in now, right?" she asked, her voice hoarse and wizened.

Looking to her friends' stunned faces, Sweetie Belle asked, "Could you give us a minute, Diamond?" 

Diamond nodded, and the three formed a huddle. 

"Okay, Apple Bloom, I'm with you," Scootaloo said. "She's nuts." 

"I told ya!" Apple Bloom said. "What are we gonna do now?"

"I'll tell you what we're gonna do," Scootaloo said. "We're gonna—"

Scootaloo was interrupted as a pebble hit against the back of her head. "Why you little—" Her anger evaporated as she spun around to find nothing but an apple tree behind her. Looking up into the tree's foliage, she spotted something that made her forget about Diamond Tiara altogether. She gave it an overzealous series of quick nods before jerking back into the huddle.

"Something wrong, Scootaloo?" Sweetie asked.

"Uh, actually, I just remembered. I promised Rainbow Dash I'd watch another bucket for her today. Why don't you let Bug Breath take my place today? I'll catch up with you later." Scootaloo gave a nervous laugh and dashed into the apple orchard, her head pointed toward the sky.

"That's too bad," Diamond said, sending Apple Bloom skyward with her sudden proximity. "I guess it's just the three of us then." 

"Then how about we...bring it back up to four?" 

Diamond paused, turning around to see Apple Bloom's older sister looking down at her, catching her breath as Apple Bloom clung to her back in fear. Diamond stared back blankly, then closed her eyes. "All right, but you have to eat a bug first."





It wasn't like it was an unreasonable request. Each member of the Canterlot weather team was only responsible for the design and creation of one unusual cloud in celebration of the holiday. Why were they always so bland?

No matter where in the sky she looked, Princess Celestia saw nothing but circles, triangles, and the occasional oval. Of all the lazy designs they could have used. It was almost boring enough to be funny, not that the princess was laughing. She knew the city's weather team wasn't the most creative, but they could at least show more holiday spirit than making polygons. She needed to remember to talk to somepony about that.

Catching the position of the sun, Celestia decided it was about time they headed off. She turned to the excessively hair-ridden stallion at her side, putting up a cooperative front. "Shooting," she said, "you seem a bit antsy this morning. You're not nervous about going out in public, are you?" 

Shooting Star raised a bushy, gray eyebrow at her. "Nervous? At my age?" He downed a vial of red liquid he had gripped tightly in two separate auras of magic. "Methinks our renowned princess may be touched in the head." 

Celestia relaxed her eyes, keeping her smile steady. "Then might the mad ruler beseech thee let our guards taketh us on our way to Ponyville now?" She looked ahead to her four royal guards struggling to fly, each of them encased in an individual black aura that held them in place.

Shooting slid his gray hat over his bearded face. "That doesn't prove anything," he said, releasing the guards and allowing the chariot to jettison away from Canterlot Tower.

Celestia looked to Shooting again, giggling softly as he took another swig of his red beverage. "You know, I might be a little more inclined to believe you if you weren't overdosing on the courage," she said, plucking the nearly finished vial out of his mouth with her own magic.

"Bah, it's not even working anyway." Shooting leaned back onto the chariot's cushion, smacking his lips together. "It doesn't even taste like courage. It tastes more like...modesty." Hearing the princess's repressed laughter, he slunk down on the cushion until he was lying on his back. "Well, aren't we an early bird?" he asked, not even looking up at her.

"The first step to overcoming your fear is being modest enough to admit to it," Celestia replied, swishing around the remaining liquid in the vial as it slowly turned bright pink.

"I'm not afraid of..." Shooting's gritted teeth gleamed through his beard as he teleported himself back onto his hooves to ceremoniously bow his head. "Your Grace, I...please forgive my insolence. I don't mean to cast doubt on your immaculate observational prowess." He forced his neck back up to look at her. "I hate you so much right now."

"Happy April Foal's Day to you too, Shooting," Celestia said. "I thought a little levity would help calm your nerves. It would be unfortunate if your stage fright interfered with your job as our professional Mork translator."

"I'm honored to be part of such a brilliant stratagem, Your Majesty," he said, resuming his bow for a brief moment. "And don't give me that. You just wanted a quick laugh. Besides, if Mork's involved, all the crowds in Crowdsdale couldn't throw me off my game."

"It's Cloudsdale, Shooting." She tapped her chin. "Maybe it is time you took a vacation."

"You are as gracious as you are perfection, Princess." He flashed her a smile so large it made his teeth rattle. "And thank you for giving your sister my spot on that week-long luxury cruise. I really appreciate it."

His remark stole Celestia's smile away. She looked out to the sky, watching the clouds increase in creativity as they soared across through it. "I'm sorry, Shooting. I wasn't trying to slight you. When I received your invitation, we had still yet to see any signs of this threat, and Luna was becoming suspicious of the additional security on patrol. I...thought it would give us some time to settle everything. So she wouldn't have to get involved."

"With all due respect, Princess, why won't you tell her about the Elements being in danger?" Shooting asked, stretching his spine from all the bowing. "Think how helpful she could be in assisting us."

Celestia blankly stared forward for a moment, then shifted her eyes his way. "The letter addressed me and me alone, Shooting. Whatever I did in the past is my burden to bear, not hers."

Shooting fell to the ground. "Forgive me, Princess, but by that logic, shouldn't you have watched over the Elements yourself?"

A small smile found its way back onto Celestia's face. "It's funny, isn't it? In my efforts to deceive our foe, I've done exactly what it accused me of doing in its letter." She shut her eyes, her face turning solemn. "However, I had to do what was best for Equestria, and that meant placing the Elements in the possession of the ones who can use them and are therefore capable of protecting them. The courage and dedication those six have shown in the past has left me no room to doubt their abilities. I trust them to protect the Elements even more than I trust myself."

"And what of Luna?" Shooting asked, his head still low. "Don't you trust her?"

Celestia took no time to reply. "Shooting, she is my sister."

Shooting lifted his head. "Then why not ask the same of her?"

"Shooting," her voice softened intensely, "she is my sister." 

Not another word was spoken for the remainder of their trip. Upon arriving at their destination, Celestia silently stepped off as Shooting meekly followed after her. A pair of unicorns were waiting to greet them, standing by a podium that had been set up in front of town hall.

"Good morning, Twilight. And you as well, Rarity," Celestia said, cordial as always as she walked up to them. "I see we're almost ready to begin." She looked out to the panicked crowd of ponies scattering all about as they carried various decorations to and fro. "I take it they've calmed down a bit about Mork's arrival?"

"Actually, right now they're concerned about yours," Twilight said. "I don't suppose you could come back when things are more...together?" She jumped as a large boulder landed right beside her, looking at it with annoyance as someone yelled out an apology in the distance.

"That won't be necessary, Twilight," Celestia said. "We'll just give them time to prepare while we wait for Mork to show up." She turned to Rarity. "How is he doing?"

In a flash of black light, Shooting Star appeared in front of the Princess, leaning right into Rarity's face. "What did he do yesterday? Anything spectacular? Anything unspectacular? I want to know everything!" He tensed up and pulled away, his hat drooping down. "I'm sorry, was that too aggressive?"

Twilight curiously looked to the princess, who just giggled, then looked back to the stallion pawing at the ground with his hoof. "I think it would be best if you asked him yourself. Is it true you've already learned how to speak Mork's language?"

The stallion took a step back. "I suppose. I wouldn't say I'm all that good at it, though. I wasn't able to make any progress with the subjunctive tense, and if he starts talking about executive marketing decisions, your guess is as good as mine."

"Is Shooting feeling okay, Princess?" Twilight asked. "He sounds a little...Fluttershy this morning."

"Never mind him," Celestia said. "But speaking of Fluttershy, is she the one looking after him right now?" 

"No!" Rarity shouted, creating a moment of silence for her to recollect herself. "Well, yes, but I assure you, Princess, it was never my intention to pawn him off on her or anything of the sort. I did promise I'd look after him, after all."

"I understand," the princess said. "In any case, I am grateful that you've agreed to look after Mork for the short time he's been here. I never would have guessed that it would be an actual babysitting job."

"Oh, it was no trouble at all, Princ—"

"Princess Celestia?"

The princess was greeted at eye-level with a cake that held an inordinate amount of decorations on it, lit sparklers sticking out of the top, and the words "Welcome to Ponyville" scribbled across the three layers in cursive. Mr. and Mrs. Cake stepped to either side of it, obligatorily bowing before their princess.

"Will this cake be appropriate for this morning's ceremony?" Mr. Cake asked.

Before the princess could insist that it was a cake worthy of the name, it rose into the air as if levitated by its own ego. Then it positioned itself over a few inches and came crashing down right onto Mr. Cake, completely immersing him in it. 

Celestia gasped after the cake's sudden attack against its creator, casting a stern glare behind her. "Shooting."

Shooting shook the scowl off his face and furiously stomped the ground several times. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He gritted his teeth tightly and sharply turned his neck away before mumbling, "I didn't think it was appropriate for this morning's ceremony."

"I'm terribly sorry about that," Celestia said, levitating Mr. Cake out of the frosted mess. "I could have sworn my translator was an adult when he arrived here this morning." Shooting harrumphed.

"It's all right, Your Majesty," Mr. Cake said, looking himself over. "Pinkie said something would fall on me today. I'm just glad it was something soft."

"Where is Pinkie?" Twilight asked. "I figured if anypony would show up this morning, she would."

"So did we," Mrs. Cake said. "She was the one who made this cake. It was her way of saying she was sorry she couldn't make it. She said she had a business meeting that was too important to miss."

"I see," Celestia said with a raised eyebrow. "It really must be April Foal's Day." She looked to Twilight. "That reminds me. Have you informed Rainbow Dash of everything that's happened recently?"

"Rarity told me that Rainbow met Mork yesterday," Twilight said, shiftily turning to her friend. "What was it you said they did again?"

"They played...tag," Rarity said, her body perfectly stiff. "Frankly, I think they both rather enjoyed themselves."

"Oh?" Celestia said. "Mork must be pretty light on his feet to be able to keep up with Rainbow Dash."

"Oh, you have no idea," Rarity said. "In fact, Rainbow Dash was completely spent afterwards. She said she had to rest for at least twenty-four hours, so we probably won't see her here or today in general." She strained a smile to complement her hasty explanation.

"I...see," Celestia said. "Well it's good to see that they got along. I guess all that's left now is—"

A high-pitched scream rang through the air. The six of them looked out into the crowd to see that the fear-induced panicking had been overtaken by a fear-induced silence stopped, as every head had converged to the presence of a purple earth pony slowly traversing through the crowd, rhythmically pulling a creature by his shirt collar as she made her way to the podium.

As she reached the front of the crowd, she let go of him and stopped to take a breather. She turned to the princess with a smile and a bow. "Your Highness, I'm not late, am I?"

"Not at all," Celestia said, returning the smile. "From the looks of it, you're right on time."

"Cheerilee?" Twilight asked, walking up to her. "Why are you the one looking after Mork?"

"So this is Mork?" Cheerilee asked. "Applejack said something about the princess introducing him to the town. I tried to speak with him, but he's not much of a talker."

Twilight walked up to examine Mork. His expression was blank and still, and he stared forward coldly, his body entirely motionless as if he were frozen in time. The only movement anywhere on his body came from the animal perched atop his head.

"Opal, get down from there," Rarity said, marching up to the lounging cat on Mork's head. She lifted her pet out of his hair and onto her back, wincing as Opal came to her senses and began flailing about. "Honestly, darling, this isn't like you. Since when do you like coming outside on your own?"

As Celestia prepared to say something, Shooting teleported right in front of Mork. "Mork, go ahead, tell them. Tell them you don't want to go home. Tell them they don't need to send you back. I'll even translate it for you." Mork remained unfazed, staring blankly ahead as if his brain had forgotten how to do everything but hold himself up. 

Shooting's beard twitched after getting no response. He leaned close and whispered, "At least say something so I can pretend you said it." 

"Shooting," the princess said.

"What? I was just—" Shooting's body went as stiff as Mork's as he came to find the hundreds of eyes of the formerly rowdy crowd all silently staring at him and Mork, giving them their undivided attention. Shooting stuttered something else in his feeble attempt to finish his sentence before his tongue froze up as well.

Realizing Shooting had nothing left to say, Celestia stepped up to the microphone and greeted the crowd. "Citizens of Ponyville, for those of you who don't know, I have come here this morning to formally introduce you all to your new guest. More importantly, I wanted you to see for yourself that this creature means no harm to any of you, should he or someone who looks like him ever decide to return."

The crowd looked timidly at the odd creature standing next to the podium. Some parents hid their children behind them. Some vendors did the same with their signs. They all began murmuring to one another, not one of them daring to voice a full-voiced complaint in the presence of their princess. 

"This isn't going so well," Twilight said. "They must still be nervous about his big rampage yesterday. If only we could convince them it was all just a misunderstanding." 

"Perhaps one of you should speak on his behalf." Celestia said. "Rarity, you're the one looking after him. Why don't you tell them what you think of Mork?"

"Oh...yes, quite," Rarity said. "I'd be delighted." Walking up to the podium, she looked out to the questioning masses. She cleared her throat and looked to her pet for comfort before saying the first word that came to mind. "Fluttershy!" she shouted, spotting the yellow mare obliviously strolling along the street behind the crowd, her pet rabbit riding on her head.

Following the model of Mork and Shooting, Fluttershy froze in place as Rarity called her name and nearly the entire population of Ponyville turned to look at her.

"R-Rarity?" she asked, the hammer in her mouth falling to the ground. "I-I can explain."

"Wonderful, that's exactly what I need you to do," Rarity said. "Would you be a dear and explain what Mork is like to everypony here today?"

Hearing the name, Fluttershy looked to the front of the stage, then grimaced as she glanced up to the rabbit on her head. "Oh no, I...I really shouldn't. I don't even know Mork that well. I just helped name him. That's all."

"Oh, don't be so modest, Fluttershy," Rarity said. "You took care of him for six hours last night after we thought he was sick. You even refused to sleep in my guest bed so you sleep at his side until you were sure he felt better."

Fluttershy gave Angel an innocent smile as he glared down at her. "I don't really have anything to say," she said to Rarity. "Honest." 

The mare closest to Fluttershy spoke up. "If Fluttershy can't say anything nice about this thing, it must be really dangerous!"

"Doesn't she have a pet scorpion?" a pony from the crowd asked.

"That thing's a menace to us all!" a third pony said, rising out of the crowd to point at him.

Fluttershy raised her voice in response to their comments. "Wait, that's not what I meant. Mork wouldn't hurt anypony..." She considered her words carefully. "Not for no reason anyway."

"I get it," a blue stallion said. "He's like Nightmare Moon. He doesn't hurt ponies that give him candy!"

"Somepony get him some candy! We're losing valuable time!"

Fluttershy leapt into the center of the crowd. "No, I...you don't understand. Mork isn't dangerous. He's just not from around here. He's so far away from his home. His family and friends aren't here. Well, not technically anyway. I know he might seem scary, but I know he didn't mean to scare anypony. He always listens when I talk to him, he never complains even when things don't go his way, and he makes this cute, little snoring bubble when he sleeps that—" Fluttershy paused as the top of her head was rapidly thumped.

"I mean, I'm not saying he's cute." She looked to the stares of the ponies surrounding her. "I mean, I'm not saying he's not cute." Her eyes darted back and forth between the two. "I mean, what do I know about what's cute? When did I become the cuteness expert?" She whimpered as she felt a sudden emptiness on top of her head.

"Angel, wait!" Fluttershy called out as he bounced away from her on the other ponies' heads. "I didn't mean the parts that made you mad! Come back!" She cut a path through the crowd as she chased after him, running off into the distance.

"Well, I'm all out of ideas," Rarity said, stepping away from the podium. "What about you, Mr. Cake?"

Twilight thought things over again as Mr. Cake floundered to reply. She raised her head to look up to her princess. "I have an idea. It might solve our problem, but it could just as easily backfire."

"Give it a try, Twilight," Celestia said with a smile. "I have total confidence in you."

Twilight smiled back and walked up to the podium, determination on her face as she looked out to the crowd. "Listen up, everypony," she said, stopping all their speculative murmuring. "I'm going to show you all exactly what Mork is really like, and to do it I'm going to use a spell that I learned from Mork himself." Twilight took a deep breath, concentrated, and shot a beam of purple light directly at Mork's forehead. As expected, he had no visible reaction, but soon the effect of the spell kicked in and a white cloud formed above his head. Several members of the audience gasped as the cloud grew in size and a second Mork appeared across its surface.

The second Mork looked just as frozen and detached from reality as the first. However, standing next to him, atop an oversized, golden carrot, was the esteemed Princess Celestia. She looked nearly identical to the original, proudly looking down at him from her twenty-karat vegetable. However, her mane and tail consisted of nearly twice as much hair, adding much more size to her appearance.

"Welcome aboard, Mork," she said, her voice carrying an echo. "I'm glad to see you've overcome your fear of my limitless power and prestigious title. I look forward to seeing how I can benefit from whatever so-called skills you have to embarrass yourself by comparison in my presence." 

The crowd started murmuring again, asking a string of questions between one another until a third creature made an appearance on the cloud.

A bright-eyed Twilight bounced out from behind her long-haired princess, a magnifying glass hovering beside her. "Magic!" she exclaimed before looking through her magnifying glass to examine Mork's ear. She turned back to her princess with concern on her face. "Magic magic magic, magic magic?"

"Calm down, Twilight," Cloud Celestia said. "He won't understand you if you speak that quickly."

"Sure he can, Princess," Cloud Fluttershy said, walking into the scene and petting the top of his head. Her eyes glowed red as twin lasers shot out of them, revealing the inside of his head. "My scanners indicate he's 17% more intelligent than he appears to be." She timidly looked away. "I mean, I think that's what they say."

Cloud Rarity rode in from the left of the cloud riding a broomstick with Opal on her shoulder. She was wearing a hat resembling Shooting Star's and a lengthy black cloak that covered her entire body save for her tail. "Honestly, Mork, must you insist on wearing that same head of orange hair everywhere you go? Here, let me fix that for you." She lit up her horn and zapped Mork's hair, turning it into a variety of differently colored crystals, which she collected and placed into a picnic basket.

"Don't feel bad," Celestia said to the bald-headed Mork, who still showed no responsiveness. "We can't all have perfectly flowing hair like mine. Now let us officially consolidate our alliance by performing the ceremonial dance of magic." She leaned forward and glanced at him playfully. "You can dance, can't you?" All four ponies stared at him in anticipation, and a clownish Rainbow Dash flew in on a trail of fire to join them.

With a shout, the real Mork snapped out of his trance, collapsing on his back as he caught up with his blinking and breathing, his fantasy cloud dissolving into nothing. Realizing he was being watched, he glanced over to the ponies standing by the podium in confusion, then to the crowd of ponies all speechlessly staring at him. He had no more words to say than before he started moving.

"Uh, there," Twilight said, uncomfortably facing the crowd again. "You see?"