Bem-vinidos mis lectores (welcome my readers in Portuguese plus Spanish). CPM here. So now I got something to say. And that is…let the ohhhh ahhhh…BEGIN! Also, sorry for posting the previous chapter but not publishing it. I kinda forgot to press the publish button (my memory and brain hates me XD). With that, I say no longer any further ado, the following chapter of MLP: around the world, Arcanel the teacher, Part one!!
And so Chuck Norris once told me: “You will OWN NOTHING! But I’ll be merciful, so I’ll let you keep this fic, got it?”
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“Very well ladies and gentleman. Let’s start with the kitchen” I said, putting on my best British voice. Then I realized two things. One, I have 9 beings here who will wonder why the change of tone, if I’m insane and what the hell gentleman and ladies means. Two, said beings show said wonder with a “what the hay?” face. And so ensued the explanation. “Um…that is how we call gentlecolts and fillies here to humans, okay? And by the way I can get a little…creative, when explaining things. I’m not insane…much” I quickly added upon seeing the faces of wonder in the ponies plus dragon, saying the last part to myself. When everyone nodded I continued.
“Well, as I’m sure you noticed, there is this big white thing that we call a “fridge” I started, deciding to go first with the good old refrigerator. “We use it to save food, drinks, so they will not go to waste or so that they will stay cold” I explained. “This divides into two doors, the lower one for cold, and the upper one for freezing” I finished. Right now I think I was in any teacher’s dream: I have 9 “kids” who are paying attention, all with looks of wonder and awe. And with a plus. They are “kids” who I’ve always wanted to meet. Translation, AWESOME!
“Here touch it and see how cold both are” I encouraged, opening both doors to my fridge. When I did, one by one they approached and touched the inside of both doors, having different reactions in both of them.
“How do they trap the cold in this artifact?” “Wow…this is as cold as ice!” Were the sun ruler’s words.
“Hmmm…I wonder what all this items taste like” “Unbelievable… this is winter, but trapped in a small compartment!” The younger moon ruler said.
“Hmmm…this could be useful in my experiments” “This is impossible! Such a cold environment should be absolutely freezed!” The purple researcher exclaimed.
“Wow…this could make all my gems cold and even tastier!” “Brrr…how is it THAT cold?” The baby dragon wondered.
“Hah…this is nothing! Storms are much colder than this!” “Okay…so maybe it IS a bit cold” The blue flyer admitted.
“Hmmm, ah believe apples would last longer with this…” “By the stars…ah wouldn’t have to worry about warm cider anymore!” The orange farmer devised.
“Hmmm…I wonder who would be the inventor of this” “I do have to say…the design in this item is absolutely practical….but with lack of any fashion at all” The white fashionista critiqued.
“Um…this would be nice for some of the animals…” “(meep) I t-t-think i-it is t-t-too c-cold for m-me” The yellow animal caretaker whispered.
“Wow this could make all of my cakes super-duper-yummier” “Can this make ice? Because it would be awesome if it could make some ice! I could use it for a lot of stuff and-“ The pink party girl rambled.
To say by know I was smiling and almost laughing would be an understatement.
“(Giggle) now I know you’re curious about how it works, but it would bore you and me (and the readers XD). Besides we have much else that I’m sure you are curious about. But yes Pinkie, the upper door can generate ice” I said, ready for the next things to explain. I also got a “YES!” from Pinkie. “However I’m only explaining the important things, otherwise, I would be explaining for a looooooooong time” I said, emphasis on the word “long” because it would really do so.
“Now I’m sure you’re also wondering why do we have so many packages with images of food, and not so many quantities of fresh food, right?” I asked them. At this Twilight spoke.
“Yes it was something that crossed my mind. What do you humans eat?” She asked.
‘Oh boy, I do NOT want to explain this, let’s see if I can change the subject for now. Although I don’t think it will work with her, it’s worth a shot’ I thought, worry filling my mind.
“Well you see, since we humans don’t exactly know when to use each of the food we buy, which works pretty much like your world too, I’ll explain later, we have to store it and pack it so it can last longer” I explained (due to current plot the word explain will appear a FREAKING LOT, ‘kay XD), hoping Twilight wouldn’t mind. She did. Translation, oh dear.
“Um…Arcanel, not to be rude, but you left the other question unanswered” She said, completely oblivious to my increasing worry.
‘(Sigh) well here goes nothing. If I die here, I will die a happy man. I have at least done things I wanted to do before dying. I passed the final part of Drakengard, I watched Castle, Doctor Who, and MLP: FIM, I managed to play GT5 on my PS3, I have wasted more than 1000 hours playing Final Fantasy’s VII through XII. I’ve had a good family, and friends. My time has come’ I thought, practically writing my will in my head. However before I could doom myself, a savior came in the form of a loveable white pony.
“Oh Twilight, now is not the time for such questions, my dear. He is already VERY busy with the teaching of his house. Please leave such TRIVIAL wonders for a later time. I know you are curious, but we CANNOT simply drown Arcanel with every question we ourselves” Rarity said, in a hell of a convincing voice. ‘Oh Rarity. If I could, I would kiss you right now. But such a fantasy will have to be left unaccomplished. Because one, she would see me as a total freak and pervert, I DON’T want that, and two, Spike would completely and ultimately annihilate me. I still want to live for as much as I can. I just had two close calls. That is more than enough for one day. Although with the rest of the house, I think such a thought will perish the moment it was formed’ I pondered, a bit sad at the fact of not getting my two wishes come true.
When Rarity finished, Twilight only pouted, but agreed nonetheless.
“(Sigh) okay with that being said and done, Rarity I think you will find this next artifact quite interesting yourself” I said, turning my head to the washing machine.
“Is that so?” She asked, curious about my remark.
“Well…this machine is called a washing machine. As the name implies, we use it for washing, but with this, we wash all of our clothes any time we need, which is quite common actually” I explained. At this Rarity raised her head.
“For washing clothes on a common basis? But why? I mean SURELY you have to go somewhere if you are dressed like that, however…sporty the clothes are” She said, pointing at my own clothes. Once again the fact that she critiqued my clothes made me cringe, but this time I was able to ignore it better.
“Well, no. Not exactly” I started. “This are common clothes I use for being in home (we men understand the need to be sporty and comfortable at home XD), though sometimes I do go out with them. We humans are clothed pretty much all the time” I told her. ‘There is no need to tell her that there IS some people who LIKE not using any clothes at all. (Shudders) I am fortunate for having shame, otherwise…’ I interrupted myself before any more unforgettable thoughts crossed my mind. In other news, Rarity seemed like she was about to hyperventilate.
“Oh…my…Celestia. You go outside wearing…these clothes” She whispered. “Where all the humans can watch you?”
“Yeah, this is actually more common than think” I added.
The moment I finished saying this, she dramatically fainted. Caught by Spike, of course.
“RARITY!” He screamed.
“Spike…if I die here, please make sure that Opal and Sweetie Belle have everything they need” With this she closed her eyes.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Spike yelled. His face looked like that of the moment when Rarity got kidnapped by the Diamond Dogs. Nonetheless there was only one reaction to this in my book.
“Oh for the love of all that is holy, pure, right, lawful, fair, and sane. This is unbelievable” I said, facepalming in the midst. The rest of Rarity’s friends looked like me, if not worse, while the Princesses were a bit confused.
“Yah’ll have to excuse her, Arcanel. She tends to get all overzealous and stuff when it is about all the fru-fru frilly things like this” Applejack said.
“Ahhh, don’t worry. I know. She is living her worst nightmare you could say. A world where fashion in clothes is as varied as Rainbow’s mane” I told her. While a bit weirded out by the fact I knew this, I think she remembered that I WAS going to explain how the hell I know all this and simply nodded.
“Well while we wait until she wakes up, may I offer you something to eat or to drink? Because I know that a lot has happened, and I’m sure that you must be as thirsty and hungry as I am. Do you think you can trust me enough for that?” I asked, worry on to how they would react. At my words, Princess Celestia spoke.
“Well I am in no need for that break (Yeah right, you’re just trying to avoid on holding back your curiosity XD), but I cannot say for the rest of my little ponies” She explained. I really have to stop thinking of the show each time she says the words. I’m living it right now!
The moment she finished speaking, a loud collective rumble was heard, and with it came the collective “Blush like hell” reaction from the rest, except from Pinkie who just laughed. At this I myself couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well it seems that they already said enough” I said with trying to hold back full on “Laughing my ass off” moment.
“(Giggle) you are very right” Celestia said, the same amount of mirth in her voice as mine. “I do believe we trust you enough with something like this. Is everypony okay with that?” She asked to the rest of the ponies. With another grumble, an even more furious blush, and an equally furious nod, the answer had been given. “But Mr. Arcanel, are you sure it won’t bother you?” She asked with concern.
After my mind exited the state “She called me Mr. hee hee”, I just simply smiled and spoke my mind.
“Dear Princess Celestia” I started, trying to be as clear as possible, but not avoiding the dreamy tone in my voice. “Right now, I’m living what some of my people would call a dream. And even more than that I think the food is the least of my problems. If you were to tell me to get hit by something, then I swear on my self-conscious mind that I WILL” I emphasized the last word with as much voice without screaming as I could.
When I said that, she and everybody else, including Spike, who was still fanning Rarity, were very wide eyed by my statement. Before any of them said anything, I continued.
“But enough about that, please go to the big room around the kitchen that is my living room and wait there, I will go soon enough. Okay? Spike, can you take Rarity there on your own?” I said. After that, there was a very awkward silence before they nodded and went round the corner.
Before I started thinking on anything else there was only one thing I could get in my mind.
‘Okay, so I just spoke my mind, and may have caused an increase in relationship for future danger and/or awkward situations, or I may have scared out of their freaking minds, and will not be able to recognize so until a future situation that may or may not involve such relationship. Translation into Spanish: Amigo, estas totalmente acabado (Dude, you are totally screwed). You just complicated this more. Good job Arcanel, good job’ I thought mentally facepalming myself before I went to work.
“Now, in the words of their inventor, what the fuck do I do?”
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Well time for an intermission in the teaching XD. So tell me, what do you think? For those who asked for a characterization of Arcanel, I think you’ll be able to figure it out by yourselves. That being said, it is time for the catchphrase to be spoken. Comment, R&R, let your inner Grammar Nazi out, haters ignored, flamers abhorred, etc, etc. CPM out.