A Twist in the Tail
Part 3
A Grand Day Out
***
Glenn sat in her room above Rarity’s shop looking at herself in the mirror. The room was dark. With only a few candles around the frame, her features were barely visible. She sat and looked at her reflection with a forlorn expression on her muzzle.
“Glenn? Honey? Are you still up?” called Rarity, clip-clopping her way lightly up the stairs.
Glenn turned her head, sniffling, “Go ‘way.”
“Don’t be like that, let’s talk about it. You’ll be seeing Twilight tomorrow, I think we should celebrate.”
“Celebrate what? Becoming a pony was a dream. Now it’s turned into a nightmare. What am I supposed to do?”
Rarity paused, one forehoof lifted from the floor as she sought to come up with a suitable answer, “I thought it was what you wanted? I used the wrong potion on you and it...had a side-effect you hadn’t planned on. Celestia and Luna have been investigating for the last month for a way to reverse that side effect. What could be simpler?”
Glenn looked at the mirror, bringing a hoof up to the cold, hard, smooth surface and stroking it gently, “I wish it were that simple.”
Rarity blinked, “Oh, oh my, so this is why you’ve been so secretive the last couple of weeks. Do you want to tell me about...him?”
Glenn blushed, “he’s...” she began, turning her head away from the mirror, away from Rarity’s reflection, “he’s a pegasus, in the weather patrol. Pointe Vertigo. He’s just...”
“Dreamy?”
Glenn bobbed her head, “He’s big and strong and...”
“And you think about him?” prompted the unicorn.
“I shouldn’t!”
“Why not? You’re a mare, he’s a stallion...”
“But I’m not!” wailed Glenn
“But you are though,” said Rarity, “and you should be what you are.”
“Aren’t I going to change that tomorrow afternoon?”
Rarity sighed, “Are you sure you want to?”
Glenn blinked, “I...but...I should want to, shouldn’t I? I’ve been waiting for this for over a month!”
“Darling,” said Rarity, “you may have been waiting for a month, but I think you can wait for a few days more. It was a minimum you had to wait for the potion to leave your system, not a maximum. Perhaps...perhaps a day out is in order? Get yourself out of your skin, so to speak? Midnight’s got some tasks at the zoo. A day out might be just what the doctor ordered, settle those nerves, clear your head. Besides, I’ve got some simply gorgeous outfits I wanted to show off and you’ve got quite the hips for them.”
“If I didn’t know better,” said Glenn, eyeing the immaculately-coiffured unicorn, “I’d suspect you had this in mind all along.”
“You wound me, darling, you wound me to the quick!”
“It’s true though, isn’t it?”
“Oh this is going to be so much fun! I’ve got a sun hat and a simply wonderful dressage saddle and matching booties!” Rarity squealed with joy and pranced down the stairs, “Don’t you worry, auntie Rarity is going to make you look absolutely stunning for your beau!”
Glenn rolled her eyes as she blew out the candles, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”
***
“Here we are,” whispered Bonzai the earth-pony, straightening his pith helmet with a hoof, “secreted near the lair of the bonded pair of homo sapiens sapiens. A fragile species, they walk on two legs instead of the normal four and have an easily-damaged epidermis and little in the way of innate weaponry or armour. Instead, they rely on their intellect. Come on Shutter, let’s get a bit closer, see what they’re up to. Crikey!”
The earth pony was brown, with a darker brown tail, blonde mane and dark brown eyes that matched his pith helmet. His companion - carrying a specially-adapted camera mounted on his shoulders - was a deep green with black mane and tail. Bonzai the explorer jinked a bit as the door to the house opened, and ducked lower against the ground, “The alpha male can get a bit stroppy, so me an’ Shutter are gonna lay low until we can assess the situation. Strewth he’s a biggun!”
John yawned, stretching. It was another gorgeous day in Equestria. He’d known they had good weather in the strange bubble-universe-island, but every time he woke up to fresh air that smelled of flowers and cut grass instead of exhaust fumes and grime, he sighed with happiness. He blinked, that daft pony with the big game hunter hat was back again, with friends. Scratching an armpit and giving an investigatory sniff, he eyed the creature half-obscured by the undergrowth.
“Here we see the daily morning ritual of the alpha male human. Watch now as the proud specimen surveys his kingdom and proclaims his mastery over his territory with a series of audible calls.” Bonzai whispered, turning between the camera and the semi-naked human yawning in the dawn light.
John yawned again, loudly, and stretched. He picked up the newspaper that the ponies were kind enough to deliver. He could read a little Equestrian, and Equestria Daily was his favourite national rag. There was just so much about the ponies’ world, every day of the week. Almost too much pony. He flipped open the newspaper and began to read the sports column. He stretched one foot and then the other out, wriggling his toes.
“As the male prepares for the day, he indulges in a pre-mating dance to catch the eye of the female, who is still asleep in her nest, deep within their abode. She will soon awaken as the sun rises, and be ready to greet the day.”
John had had enough. He realized the intruders were filming him yet again. “I see you there! Gerrof out of it!” shouted John, picking up his boots and throwing them as he ran at the semi-hidden hooved menaces. The two ponies bolted, they were indeed brandishing a camera which the wielder attempted to point backwards towards the frustrated human as they made good their escape.
“Crikey! I think that’s enough fer now, Shutter! He almost ‘ad us! Until next time, this is Bonzai, from Bonzai’s Big Game Hunter Show, signing off!”
John stopped at the edge of the enclosure and shook his head, grinning, as the two trouble-makers hoofed it into the distance through the growing crowds that were filling the zoo. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go further - there was no real enclosure as such, just a fence to keep the ponies out - but that he couldn’t.
He thought back to when the ponies had appeared; their strange island, protected by what looked like a giant soap-bubble. The shock of talking, pastel-coloured equines. The global furor and then the sensational news of humans becoming ponies and finally journeying to the fabled land of Equestria.
He sipped his coffee, idly wiping the spots from where his energetic exertions against intruding equines had spilled some. His new home had a similar bubble, albeit in miniature. The barrier separating his type of reality from the ponies’ was altogether impermeable to humans - but was no more than an afterthought to them. The arrangement by which he and Terry had been brought to Equestria had been very complicated for what looked on the outside to be a simple case of moving house. It had involved a team of unicorns, some sort of anchor-stone made from some rare minerals and a complicated spell that even beaded the heavenly brows of the two celestial sisters.
John drained his cup, there were worse places to be trapped in - and the two of them were trapped, albeit by choice. Besides, he thought to himself as he glanced back at the semi-naked snoring luscious lump on the bed, we can get out of here any time we choose...just not on two legs.
***
“Mama, Mama! I want to see the humans! The humans!”
“Really, Spinner, the humans again? We saw them last week!”
“But they’re so funny mama! Please? Puh-leeeeze? Pretty please?”
Flame Dancer smiled, “Well okay, Spinner, just as long as we don’t spend all day there and you don’t make silly faces again.”
“Awww mooooommmm!” the young pegasus complained, bouncing ahead of his earth-pony mother, “They like it when I make funny faces!”
“Well I don’t!”
Spinner sulked, dragging his mother along through the crowds, “You’re so unfair! I hate you! You never let me do anything fun!”
Dancer rolled her eyes with a pained expression on her muzzle and got a few sympathetic looks from similarly suffering parents as the anxious colt pushed his way through the crowd to stand at the wooden barrier between the worlds.
“Mom! Mama! Mommy! Ma!” called Spinner, jumping up and down and flapping his wings with every word.
“What?” hissed Dancer, exasperated.
“Which one’s the mare?”
“I...” Dancer blinked, “It’s the one without the face-mane, dear!” she said in a confident voice, after spending a few moments checking between the two.
“Oh, okay.” Spinner, chewing a few grass-stalks idly, “Cos I thought the human mares had bigger-”
“Spinner!” snapped Dancer with a blush, “If you don’t stop such silliness right now we’ll go home!”
Spinner pouted, spitting out the hayseed as a chestnut earth-pony mare trotted up next to him, flicking her burgundy mane out of her eyes. He looked up, “Are you here to see the humans too?”
She glanced down, and then up at a stunning white unicorn with shining purple mane who stepped primly up to the barrier next to her, before answering, “Yes, I suppose I am.”
Spinner glanced conspiratorially at the mare, “They like it when you make faces. Mama says I’m not allowed to.”
Despite herself, she giggled, “That’s good advice. If you make a funny face and the wind changes, you’ll be stuck like that.”
“I’d hate to be stuck funny-lookin’!” chirruped Spinner, but he made a silly face anyway.
“Spinner! You stop that! I’m sorry,” apologized Dancer, “he’s only a foal, his mouth runs away with him as often as his legs do.”
“That’s quite alright.” said Glenn
“If I may ask...who’s the lucky stallion?”
“I...uh...umm...” Glenn was quite flustered, she’d not been ready for small talk. Rather a strange idea to come in to such a crowded place and expect to be alone then, said a small voice in the back of her mind.
“Oh! Are you and...she...a couple?” Dancer pointed with a hoof to Rarity who was making googly eyes at a couple of hunky earth pony stallions.
“N-no, no, we’re just friends, my...stallion...is...”
“Late? As usual? Honey, they’re always late. Except when they’re too quick, you know what I mean, huh?” Dancer nickered in laughter and nudged Glenn.
“Er, I...uh...” Glenn was really getting flustered
“Oooohhhh, I see! First date, taking a friend for backup. Say no more! He’ll find you cute, I’m sure. I don’t think I got your name? I’m Dancer, by the way, Flame Dancer. This little bundle of trouble on hooves is Spinner.”
“M-Midnight Glenn.” said Glenn, giving a weak smile.
“Oh such a wonderful name for a filly - though really, with your colour scheme...I guess you were black as midnight when you were foaled, huh? Spinner was. Lovely filly name. Lovely.” Dancer turned back to the humans. The...mare...had come out of the little cottage they had and was canoodling with the alpha male. Strange how they both had face-manes, though only the alpha male kept his. The mare took great pains in shaving hers off. Dancer idly wondered why they didn’t let their coats grow in properly as a voice broke her concentration.
“It’s a stallion’s name too!” came a plaintive cry as a dark blue unicorn stallion with sunset-streaked mane clip-clopped up, snorting.
“Oh, he’s rather a handsome one, good catch.” whispered Dancer, sizing up the newcomer.
“That’s...he’s not...”
“Good morning Midnight,” said Rarity, giving the unicorn stallion a kiss on both sides of his big head.
“Good morning to you too, Rarity. Glenn.” he nodded to each in turn and then fussed with his bags, “I think we’ve got it sorted out, now. Celly and Luna are going to tag-team it since we’re working with the remainder of human nano-tech but substituting the entire set of routines with a base transmogrification spell, and bouncing the...”
Midnight looked up. He was being ignored, as usual. Rarity was making appreciative murmuring noises and Glenn appeared to have been hit with a silly stick. A large yet lithe light-green pegasus had alighted next to the trio. He trotted up to Glenn and, to Midnight’s surprise, gave her a kiss on the forehead.
“Hey sugar, how’s my little earth pony princess today? Picked a good one. Have you lovely ladies had breakfast yet?”
Midnight blinked, then bit Rarity’s tail to pull her aside, “does...does he know?” he hissed.
“Does he know what dear?” murmured Rarity in an amused tone of voice.
“That she’s a filly?”
“I certainly hope so!”
“I mean...you know what I mean!”
“Midnight dear, if you so much as breathe a word in front of Pointe Vertigo here, you’ll wake up bald.”
“You wouldn’t!?” hissed Midnight, pulling back, putting a hoof to his precious colourful locks
“I would! Now, whatever you have to say to Glenn can wait until Prince Charming here is out of earshot, and seeing as she’s here to see him, that means you get to wait.” Rarity accentuated the demand by tapping the stallion on the chest with every syllable she hissed.
“What are you doing? She’s...they’re...I....but!”
“Midnight, Midnight, you should know me by now, when I see a perfect pairing like this, I can’t help myself. Just look at them!”
Midnight looked. The pair had drifted off to one side, Glenn was blushing and giggling, Vertigo was brushing the mane out of her eyes...
“Oh for goodness sake...when did this happen?”
“Whilst you’ve been hard at work finding the cure, she’s been hard at work trying to fit in. I think she’s done a better job than she realises.”
“What on Equestria am I going to tell the princesses? They’ll send me to the moon...again!”
“What are you going to tell the princesses what?” asked a regal new voice. Midnight looked up to see Celestia and Luna, flanked by royal guards, easing their way into the area.
“I...uh...think we may have to postpone the primary reason for your visit today.”
“Really? Oh well, can’t be helped. How about John and Cherry?”
Midnight did a double-take, “That’s it? You’re not going to send me to the moon?”
“I never said that,” giggled Celestia, “but for now, let’s keep all four hooves on the ground. Greetings Rarity, lovely as always. Good morning, Glenn dear, may I have the pleasure of being introduced to your companion?”
“Oh! P-Princess Celestia!” Glenn made an awkward bow with her forelegs, “This...this is Pointe Vertigo, one of Ponyville’s finest Weather Patrol Stallions.”
“Very pleased to meet you, Pointe Vertigo.” Celestia inclined her head in a friendly manner, looking up as Luna behind her stifled a giggle, “Close your mouth dear, you’ll catch flies.”
“You never told me you knew the princesses!” gasped Vertigo.
“Oh she does, we talk simply all the time.” prompted Celestia before Glenn could stammer out a word. Vertigo turned to Glenn, who could only nod dumbly.
“Why,” continued Celestia, “just the other day she was telling me about this handsome, talented flier and I thought I simply had to come meet you.”
Midnight face-hoofed in the background, making a ‘not you too’ expression.
Luna giggled and dragged him away, “So, what’s the story on John and Cherry?”
“Somepony really did mess up basic human anatomy, but thanks to Rarity’s mistake, we now can offer them something we didn’t know was possible before. We can offer not only ponification but the chance to start a family.”
***
John looked at the scroll in front of him, “You say...you can not only ponify us, but turn us into females if we want?”
Midnight nodded, “It’s a side-effect of a safe yet unplanned modification to the original ponification potion.”
“...and you want to give this modified potion to us?”
“Umm...if you want, I mean...uh...you talked on your induction forms about wanting to start a family, and...well...two males don’t...can’t...” Midnight blushed, he mimed some uncomfortable-looking actions and grinned hopefully. John face-palmed and started to laugh heartily. He gave the scroll to Terry, who gave it the once-over.
“We kind of thought,” said Terry after a while, “well we kind of planned on remaining stallions. Together. That’s allowed, isn’t it?”
“I don’t see a problem with it,” said Luna, “some old fuddy-duddies might have issues, but as co-ruler I give it my blessing. Love is hard to come by; when you find it, keep it.”
“But...making a family?”
“Can’t we adopt?”
Midnight and Luna shared a glance, “It’s...that’s a remarkably simple question, isn’t it?”
***
“So let me get this straight,” said Twilight Sparkle as she exited the shower. Midnight hid his head behind that day’s copy of ‘Equestria Daily’ and shuffled the papers nervously. Ponies never wore much, but the idea of a naked filly getting out of the shower, glistening with moisture...
“You mean to tell me that Glenn is thinking of staying a filly, even after all that hard work, and John and Terry are now ponies, with a little foal of their own?”
Midnight put the paper down on the table, opened on the centerfold. It showed a happy pair of earth pony stallions cuddling a little pegasus foal - his parents had died in a freak storm accident and as a result was more than a little scared of flying. Things were going to be tough, but for Equestria’s first newfoal adoption family, it promised to get better.
Twilight snorted, “Do you know how much work I put into that spell? I researched sex chromosomes and pituitary glands and everything!”
“I’m sorry, Twi,” said Midnight, “what can I say?”
“I say somepony is getting a sex change, that’s what.”
“Wait, what?”
Twilight produced a bottle of faintly cherry-smelling mixture, “Drink it! Now!”
“No! I don’t wanna!”
“You do and you will!”
“Nooooo!”
The silence of the lazy early night was broken by two unicorns dashing through ponyville, one in hot pursuit of the other. Spike watched them go from the balcony, “That Midnight, I don’t know what he does to drive Twilight so crazy.”
“Who?” hooted Owlowlicious, otherwise known as Hugo.
“Oh don’t you start.”