A/N: It has come to my attention that I rarely have Nutlestia in this. I will try to add her more, but I am making no promises. All that I can do is say that she has not been fed to sharks...unlike me. I can confirm that she does not have googly eyes, and I will try to exact my revenge on Pinkie...in the most unreasonably reasonable way possible. And now, the story! AND NO! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEEF JERKY SPORK!
THE STORY
Pinkie has been trying to avoid lava, spikes, marbles, and falling buckets of wet cement all morning. She decided that she should go see Nutlestia about her problem.
"Well, Pinkie, I believe that going out for cupcakes instead of helping the author, and saving his bottom, has angered him. The wisest thing to do is try to make amends with him. If not, offer to be his slave for one day. Also, please try ask him to make me a bit crazier. I am supposed to be an acorn, after all." Nutlestia told Pinkie. She also tried to make the pink mare laugh...she failed.
"Princess, I'm pretty sure that in order for you to be funny you would need to be inanimate. That way Twilight can learn how to unlock her inner peace. Or was it pizza? It was probably pepperoni pizza. And also teach her patience. In fact, she set off explosives when she still had burns. THIRD DEGREE BURNS EVEN! ...Although, I guess that she wouldn't be able to feel them, then. She must be pretty tough, but you can make her power even stronger!" Pinkie told the Princess assuredly.
"Sure, I have to go inanimate again just to help her. No thank you. She will be able to help sister, though. Well, I believe that I have answered you question. NOW LEAVE BEFORE I SEND IN THE GUARDS TO MURDER YOU!"
"OK, I'm leaving. Sheesh, you don't need to be so mean about it."
TARTARUS
"That'll be six pies." Pinkie said.
"You sure run a tough bargain for lessening your destruction." Death told her.
"Well somepony has to destroy things, and Discord is currently sleeping in his statue."
"Yes, but in doing so you also let some of the souls loose from here! If I am to keep them in check then I need to make sure that no one rips holes for them to escape through! And you and Discord constantly make the holes appear! And pies are hard to get down in Tartarus! Do you know how many bits it takes to get one? A hundred!"
"Well I'll be off then!" Pinkie said as she bounced away through a black hole...and over it...and under it, and...HOW IS SHE ACTING LIKE A PARTICLE?! QUANTUM PHYSICS SHOULDN'T APPLY TO HER!! SHE'S BREAKING PRACTICALLY ALL OF THE LAWS OF PHYSICS! SHE SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO ALL OF THAT AT ONCE! ...And that is why you always attend quantum physics lectures, even if you are still in school.
BACK WHERE THINGS STILL DON'T MAKE SENSE
"So you see, Princess, the Nut in the Moon is going to return soon." Twilight told her teacher.
"But that would mean that- and that would mean- but huh?" Nutlestia said as she exploded.
"I'll go find an acorn." Spork said sadly.
"At least I saved her memory."
"Here you go Twilight! Another acorn! This is the fifth one this week, though, so shouldn't you be taking it easy?" Spork told her as he held out the nut.
"Nah. I can take it easy later. Right now I need to work on getting the Princess to tell me what to do."
"I'M BACK!" Nutlestia said as she was reenchanted.
"So what do I do, Princess?"
"You will need to go to Ponyville and make some friends while checking on the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. MAKE FRIENDS OR ELSE I WILL MURDER YOU. I MEAN IT."
"...OK, I'll make friends. BYE!" Twilight said as she teleported out of the room.
BACK IN THE PAST
I have no idea what to do next, so...RANDOMNESS FOR WHATEVER I THINK OF NEXT! ...Nope. Nothing. PINKIE! DID YOU DRINK ALL OF THE INSPIRATION AGAIN?!
"No. I drank all of the mystical rainbow liquid that was sitting on your desk." Pinkie said.
...And that is why you ask before you drink mystical liquids. THAT WAS THE INSPIRATION! Did you think it was a love poison or something?!
"Well of course I didn't, silly. I thought it was a rainbow! It wasn't as spicy as last time, though."
Next time, don't drink things sitting on my desk. Now I have to settle for pizza.
"The one you left in the refrigerator? I ate that too."
WHY CAN'T YOU STOP LIVING IN MY HOUSE?!
"Because you never asked me to leave."
But I- and I-. ...I'm leaving. You can finish the story. (Also, if you don't want to listen to a rant on cupcakes, leave now.)
"Okie dokie lokie."
So, I guess that being that I'm working on the story now, I can write a rant about how good cupcakes are! They're so good! They come in so many different flavors, like chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, lemon, raspberry, blueberry, red velvet, death, poison, burpleberry, loganberry, huckleberry, blackberry, marionberry, lingonberry, and more! And then you get to put sprinkles, toppings, and frosting on top! And you get to decorate them however you want! You can even stuff them with jam or jelly! Or put chocolate chips in them! Or maybe you might want to make muffins instead. In which case Derpy would be a better specialist. I believe her favorites are banana nut muffins. Did you know that bananas are great in smoothies? Or that peanuts aren't considered a nut? They are actually a bean instead. And beans make you fart. ...Why don't peanuts make you fart, though? Shouldn't they at least do something? Oh well. At least they're healthy for you. Wait? You say that you need to leave, author? Fine. I'll have to finish this when you get back....