//------------------------------//
// 49: A Sunset Refracted by FanOfMostEverything 
// Story: Xenophilia: Shotglass Oneshots 
// by TheQuietMan 
//------------------------------//

A Sunset Refracted by FanOfMostEverything

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Like many universes, from a non-subjective, non-linear point of view, Equestria resembles a cylinder of infinite volume formed from countless timelines streaming from past to future in parallel. That these timelines can be parallel even as they branch off of one another is one of the more peculiar aspects of six-dimensional geometry.

Like any part of the natural world, these timelines needed to be guided and maintained by ponies. However, it should come as little surprise that, given the incredible complexity of the task, these ponies have a less-than-perfect track record. Especially when it comes to those who would travel from one timeline to another.





At first, the scene would be familiar to a hypothetical observer of Equestria: a cloaked pony skulking through the Crystal Palace, evading the guards, and slipping into Twilight Sparkle's suite.

That was where the familiarity came to a stuttering halt, along with the interloper herself. Her eyes bugged out as she took in the scene before her. Rather than a single sleeper, there were no fewer than three crowded in a much larger bed than she'd been expecting. One was a purple unicorn she didn't recognize, presumably Celestia's latest stooge. The other mare was clearly Rainbow Dash; the mane was a dead giveaway.

But it was the third sleeper that gave her pause. That face. That size. That hand around Dash.

Shocked out of her stealthy mindset, Sunset Shimmer whispered, "That isn't possible."

A flash of gold at the edge of her vision was all the warning she got before she slipped into unconsciousness.





Sunset groaned as she came to. For a moment, she wondered why the floor had become one of the walls before realizing that she was lying on her side. Trying to right herself revealed that her legs were bound. She narrowed her eyes. "Applejack." On any world, that bumpkin was the only person to treat hogtying as a solution to any problem.

Oh well. Easily fixed. Sunset focused her will into her horn and–

"Ow ow ow fuck shit OW!"

"Well, I think she's up."

Sunset didn't recognize the voice, but she was more focused on the circle of sharp little teeth biting down on the base of her horn. Even without channeling magic, she could sense a weight there if she focused. Years spent without hooves had done little to dull her spellcraft, but it had caused her to forget just how sensitive the damn hood ornament could be with energy flowing through it.

A door opened on the far side of the room, and Sunset took the chance to take stock of her surroundings. Judging by the close quarters and the solid sheet of faintly tinted crystal in front of her, she was in the Crystal Palace's dungeon. Fan-flipping-tastic.

Outside the cell, two mares and an impossibility approached her: a mint-green unicorn, a blue earth pony, and that which should not be. Sunset focused on the last. "How?"

The three shared a rather befuddled glance. The man asked, "Do you recognize me?"

Sunset snorted. No sense in hiding anything. If she answered their questions fast enough, she just might be able to salvage her plan. "Recognize you? I've been one of you miserable magicless monkeys for thirty moons!"

The other mares gasped at this. The man looked to the unicorn in confusion. "How long is a 'moon'?"

"Four weeks, generally." Sunset recognized the green mare as the voice she heard earlier.

"About two and a half years, then." The man turned back to the prisoner. "Where was this?"

"Like you don't know," Sunset scoffed. "I don't know how you kept your hands – or why, for that matter – but you obviously came here the same way I did."

The man leaned closer. The unicorn moved closer to him. "Lero…"

"Lero" disregarded her. "You were turned into a human… then back again?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Obviously. That's how the portal works. Except for you, it seems."

This got a frown. "Portal?"

The earth pony spoke up. "That mirror, then. The one giving off the unusual temporaspacial energy."

Sunset chuckled. "Of course. Celestia's left you all out of the loop. Typical." She looked around the part of the dungeon she could see. "Where is she? Too cowardly to look her former student in the eye?"

"That is none of your concern," said the unicorn. "Why did you enter our suite last night?"

"'Our' suite?" Sunset quirked an eyebrow at Lero. "What, the other two weren't enough for you?"

The unicorn gave no outward display of emotion. Just the opposite, if anything. She betrayed nothing in posture or tone beyond the kind of inner peace that comes from knowing how to kick a pony's kidneys out through her ears. "I'll thank you not to speak of my herdmates like that."

Sunset blinked. She must have misheard the other mare. "'Herdmates'?"

Lero scratched the unicorn behind her ears. She softened for a split second before hardening up again, twice as terribly tranquil. "Yes. This man is our stallion. Do you have a problem with that?"

"…'Our'?"

The earth mare stepped forward. "I think I'd better take it from here."

The green unicorn frowned at her. "You never did explain why the sousaphone player of Octavia's ensemble had the credentials to stand in on this interrogation."

"As in John Phillips Sousa?" asked Lero.

Both mares looked at him perplexedly. "As in Tsu Tsa the Metallurge, the ancient dragon composer and smith," said the earth pony.

"As for my credentials," she continued, "I'm afraid those are highly classified."

"It's on a need-to-know basis," said Lero, "and we don't need to know."

"That's… actually a very good way to put it, yes."

Lero nodded and turned for the door. "Come on, Lyra."

"But–"

"We should at least reassure Dash that this mare isn't an assassin. She's going to wear a groove through the floor at this rate."

Lyra's ears flattened against her scalp. "…Fine." She turned back to the earth pony. "You know what you're doing?" At the other mare's nod, she gave one of her own. "Then I can accept this."

The pair left the room, leaving Sunset with the mysterious earth mare. "So," said Sunset, "what's your story?"

"My name is Beauty Brass. As Miss Heartstrings said, I am a sousaphonist. Most of the time. When needed, I also serve as a member of the Equestrian Time-Space Administration Bureau. Specifically, the Office of Parallel Realities." Beauty began to pace in front of the cell. "We are currently within what the Bureau calls Universe Eight-Six-Phi, distinguished by the unusual gender ratio of ponies skewed heavily in favor of females, the resultant adaptations of society, and more recently, the appearance of a single human from outside the local cosmic totality." She stopped and gave Sunset an apologetic smile. "Your presence here is, quite frankly, a mistake on our part."

Sunset found she had only one possible response to this revelation. "…What."

"That portal isn't exactly the most stable in the various Equestrias, hence the short active-to-inactive ratio. If I had to guess, I'd say the Celestia in the timeline you meant to access anticipated you somehow and destroyed or sealed the mirror there. That, or it's just a fluke. Probability space can be… finicky at times."

"What."

Beauty shook her head. "Pardon me, I tend to woolgather at times. In any case, you will, of course, be sent to the proper authorities, especially if you've been squatting in a timeline not your own for thirty moons. We have rather stringent immigration policies, you know." She nodded and smiled. "In any case, enjoy your stay. I understand you're the first unicorn to be held in the Crystal Palace dungeons since the Empire returned from the Shadow Plane. Quite momentous. Good day."

Sunset slumped as much as she could as the bizarre mare left the room. Well. Crap. Apparently she was in the wrong alternate world entirely, and imprisoned to boot. Now how was she going to brainwash an army of teenagers?

…huh. Saying it like that, it almost made her plan sound kind of stupid.