//------------------------------// // What is a Human? // Story: Clankers // by ISKV //------------------------------// Good morning folks, my name is Professor R- … Oh, I can’t tell them my name? … Fine. Good morning folks, as you just heard my boss say, I can’t tell you my name. So just, The Professor will do. … No! Don’t call me Professor Who! Yes, yes, I enjoy that book series as well. But please, no more. Now, onto our subject for today. Humans. Now, I’m sure you’ve seen one walking around your town or city, minding their own business. Maybe you’ve met one. Maybe you are one! In any case, you’re here because you have an interest in them, more specifically, their history. I’ve compiled a good amount of papers that tell their story, from their humble beginnings to their exile underground. Yes, while I must remain “academically proper” or however they call it, I will try to make this as interesting as possible. Are you ready? Good. Est. 2400BC: (Before Chaos) Despite the below-freezing temperatures, Humans thrive in the northern wastelands. Thanks to the hard work and dedication of Professor Rock Hard- … Yes, yes, laugh it out. Fortunately for you he has a sense of humor. Now, due to his efforts we have found evidence of ancient human settlements in the Northern Wastelands, an area that has a lower overall temperature compared to our location, but should not be confused with the Frozen Wastelands, the most notable difference being a layer of permafrost. The artifacts collected on his expedition show that they lived similarly to our own ancestors who lived during that time. Basic woven straw huts, a Neolithic society that was widespread compared to ours, but with an overall lower population. But this changed with King Dyke, pronounced De-Keh, who united the humans into the first kingdom in history. But… 885BC: Humans are defeated by the Griffonic Tribes to the east. King Sombra sees an opportunity and proposes an alliance and the Crystal Empire is occupied by the Human-Shadow Alliance. Humans are put to work mining and refining crystals in the most hazardous of conditions. The Human-Griffon War is mostly forgotten even by the combatants themselves. Though it is called a “war”, it would be more correct to call it a series of skirmishes. Desperation kicked in after their defeat, which may have influenced their decision to accept King Sombra’s offers of alliance. But to call it an “Alliance” would be mistaken. As King Dyke was killed along the road to the Crystal Empire, Sombra inherited the weak and shattered remains of the human kingdom, and under his rule, they, and the Crystal Ponies, were no better than slaves. They spent hundreds of years toiling in his mines to satisfy his greed for crystals. Now, crystals are essential to the well-being of the empire, but they can only be found in the Crystal Mountains. From their buildings to interior lighting, crystals form the backbone of the empire. With his position over the humans, Sombra’s mines began producing many times the amount of crystals they used to. And while his morals were questionable, his orders led to the massive expansion of the Crystal Empire we see today. But that couldn’t last forever. 110BC: After centuries of enslavement, a Crystal Pony manages to escape and gives a testimony to Equestrian officials. The country cries in outrage, and the military is revived. Ah yes. Miss Prism. It was a cold night as she stumbled into Stalliongrad. In less than a week, she was sent to Canterlot. In less than a month, the entire country was calling for war. 109-38BC: The War of the Crystal Empire rages for almost three decades. King Sombra's Crystal Juggernauts secure victory. Humans march alongside. The Equestrian-Shadow War was our first wide-scale conflict, but also our greatest failure. There have been much debate as to our reason, but two reasons are generally accepted. One of which are the Crystal Juggernauts, the second is the fact that our military began the campaign woefully unprepared and under-equipped. That was when the princesses themselves intervened. Now, why the humans fought alongside King Sombra isn't known. There are plenty of theories, though none are more convincing than others. 30BC: Princess Luna gives in to the darkness and becomes Nightmare Moon. The sun is blocked in the north, with no sunlight or magic, humans starve. Ah yes. Princess Luna’s downfall. Although it is said that none respected her for her night, the real reason is a tad bit more complicated. But we’ll examine the details later. But I have to give them credit. They were tough nuts to crack, and even without the sun, it took a full sixteen years for them to break. 14BC: Humans lead raids into Equestria to steal food. Crystal Juggernauts fail without a constant supply of fresh crystals. The Equestrian Military surges forward, beginning the Second Equestrian-Shadow War. Even in the cold north, there are certain species of plants that survive, the majority of them edible. And with edible plants, comes herbivores that will exchange large predators for harsh weather conditions. Both factors guaranteed the survival of the humans, who relied on these two sources of food. But without the sun, even the hardiest of plants will die. The wildlife following. And so, the humans starved, forcing them off of the assembly lines. Though Princess Luna’s methods were quite brutal, she succeeded in her mission of disabling the Crystal Juggernauts, starting the Second Equestrian-Shadow War. 0BC: Discord appears and wreaks havoc. King Sombra is imprisoned in ice. Discord. Where he came from, or why he did what he did is unknown. Not even the princesses themselves know the answer. But for a period of five months, he wreaked havoc across the world. 0BC, five months later: Discord is captured and imprisoned in stone. Nightmare Moon's forces massacre any remaining Allies. Humans begin their retreat into empty crystal mines. There is only one who can answer why she ordered every enemy, civilian or otherwise, to be killed, instead of captured. But Princess Luna is staying quiet about this one. I don't think you need to hear my personal opinion on what's happening. 2AD: (After Darkness) The last humans are observed above ground and are subsequently declared extinct. Nightmare Moon banished by Princess Celestia for being overly violent. Ah, yes. We'll see her reaction in a little while, but from here on, it's the history of cavemen. Get it? Because they live in caves and- Alright, that was bad. 4AD: The first of the children who will live their lives without seeing the sun is born. You can't imagine how it's like to live without the sun. I know how they did it, but the fact that they did astounds me. Est. 3-788AD: Humans are splintered. Various tribal alliances and enemies emerge. Resources are scarce, but technological research leaps forward. You would think that with conflict, technological leaps would cease to a halt. They had no more than sharp stones with them, yet by the first year, they had a furnace working. A little tweaking later, they had recovered the secret to steel. Only a few years later, they had managed to recover most of their technology, and had even managed to adjust some of them to optimized their life underground. 789AD: A human only known as Black Forest unites humans and creates Sanctuary, the first underground city, and also the first human city in existence. He was either a politician from Rigel, a small mining facility on the Eighth Minor Branch, or a Manager of a factory on the Second Major Tunnels. Whatever he was, there is enough evidence that he took up arms himself. With the unification of the tunnel-cities, the technological flood turned into a technological explosion. With no more conflict between the cities, they could all focus on more important problems. 889AD: Various breakthroughs in metallurgy allow construction of taller and stronger buildings. Gas columns discovered, free source of energy located. 901AD: Electricity discovered, government buildings and hospitals are lit with early light bulbs. But of course, simply returning to their level of technology was not enough. No, they actually managed to surpass it. 920AD: Various heat engines are invented, the Sterling Engine proves superior to its competition. A set of Sterlings, nicknamed "The Big Six," are installed in Gas Column Four, providing the city with a surplus of electricity. Advances in industry makes products cheap. Living standards rise. 928AD: The first underground railroad runs from Sanctuary to Colombia, roughly two miles away. Imagine our own cities. Our modern cities, underground, centuries ago. Trains running between centers of population. Hundreds live, not merely survive. All without the sun. But there were darker times ahead. 938AD: Diamond Dog-Human War ends in a victory for the humans after the invention of the portable steam gun. Oh yes. Even today they're at odds with each other. But after the Peace Conference, they're willing to tolerate each other. But that's another story for another day. 944AD: Empty Diamond Dog mines leads to the surface where the first human in a millennium gets a sunburn. Talks of returning to the overworld begin. 971AD: The Society of the Overworld forms. Funding is provided and forward scouts are sent. 993AD: Step One - Ascension And this my friends, is where our story begins.