Trixie’s butterfly wings glistened in Celestia’s sunlight. She puffed her chest in pride as the pegasi of Cloudsdale gazed at her in admiration and marvel. She adjusted her favorite star-decorated hat and descended down to her friends.
“So, can anypony tell me why Trixie’s a flutterpony now?” said a confused Rainbow Dash.
“Before we found the cloud-walking spell,” Dusk explained, “I decided to give this butterfly-wing spell a shot. Trixie volunteered to be a guinea pig, and here we are. Unfortunately, the spell proved too hard to cast twice, so the rest of us are stuck flightless.”
“And such a tragedy, too,” pouted Rarity. “I would’ve died to have wings as fabulous as those.”
“When does this Bestest Fliers’ Competition Doohickey start, anyway?” said Applejack. “Not ta insult yer hometown Dash, but Ah want to be in an’ out of this freaky place in two shakes of a lamb’s tail.”
“Hey, you got a problem with Cloudsdale?” shot back Rainbow Dash.
“Umm... It’s not that,” defended the earth pony. “it’s the cloud-walkin’ business. As far as Ah’m concerned, ponies are supposed to walk on safe, solid ground. Steppin’ on nothin’ but a bunch of of fluffy water particles hundreds of feet in the air feels... dangerous.”
Dash smirked. “What’s the matter, Applejack? You ain’t chicken, ain’t ‘cha?”
Applejack grimaced as her face grew more red than orange. “Th’ Apples don’t raise no chickens!” she snapped. After a pregnant pause, she added, “...’Cept th’ ones we keep in our farm’s coop.”
“It’s okay, AJ,” said Dash with a sneer, “Not everyone can be as brave as a pegasus. Hay, our ancestors built all their cities on clouds back in the dawn of time. If there’s one thing we’re never afraid of, it’s heights. Isn’t that right, Fluttershy?”
“Actually,” Fluttershy spoke up, “I kinda agree with Applejack on this one, if that’s okay with you. Living on clouds can be seriously dangerous.”
Rainbow Dash looked at Fluttershy like the pink-maned doormat had just openly suggested that stunt flying should be outlawed. “WHAT?”
Fluttershy, sensing that she must’ve offended Dash in some way, instinctively backed away. “W-well, the fatality for flightless pegasus foals is higher in cloud cities than any other towns. That’s got to say something, doesn’t it? I m-mean, what would’ve happened if you fell out of the window or something back before you learned how to fly, Dashie?”
Rainbow Dash was about to fling head-first into a rant about how Fluttershy had no respect for tradition or pride in the pegasus race, but the daring speedster was interrupted by the latest round of Trixie’s boasting and gusto.
“Sorry, my adoring fans!” bellowed Trixie, waving goodbye like a ponified Miss America on a parade float. “But it is time for The Great and Powerful Trixie to depart! Don’t worry, Trixie’s going to be around Cloudsdale for a while, so if you pray to The Great and Powerful Trixie hard enough, maybe... just maybe... you will see another fleeting glimpse of Trixie’s greatness once again!!!” She floated downward, vanity gushing from her smile. “Why hello, Rainbow Dash; didn’t see you there.”
“Just don’t fly too close to the sun, Trixie,” Dusk Shine warned. “The book said that those wings are the most delicate things that can be created by magic since glass roses.”
“Don’t worry, Dusk,” Trixie saluted. “The Great and Powerful Trixie would never let anything happen to her great and powerful wings.”
“You know, if we’re done with all the greetings,” Dash said, “how about I give you all a tour of Cloudsdale? There’s plenty of time until the competition starts.”
“That sounds lovely, darling,” said Rarity.
“Where do we even start?” wondered Fluttershy aloud. “Cloudsdale’s sort of a big and scary place.”
Dash tapped her chin in thought. “I know! We can start with-”
Just then, there was fury of color and noise, and Rainbow Dash was assaulted by six bulky, hotheaded, 300-pound stallions, nearly crushing her between their bulging muscles. It seemed like Dash was trying to say something in protest, but her words were muffled with the living wall of bodybuilding ponies.
Dusk nearly had a heart attack. “Don’t worry Rainbow Dash! I’ll save you!” he hollered. He tried to yank Dash out of the dogpile with his magic, but the grip of the stallions was too tight. It looked like the speedster was going to suffocate.
“Dusk, it’s fine,” said Fluttershy, although she was wincing at the voilent pile on top of Rainbow Dash. “She’s not in any danger. At least, I think she isn’t.”
Finally, Dash scrambled out of the “Guys! I can’t believe you came!” she said to the strange ponies gratefully.
“WELL, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?” said the red stallion, sounding like he traded his indoor voice for the baritone of a monster truck announcer. “WE’D NEVER LEAVE THE FAMILY’S KID SISTER HANGIN’, DASH!” He proceeded to give Rainbow Dash the king of all noogies.
“YOU SAID IT, DUDE!” agreed the blue one with a brohoof. “BESIDES, HOW COULD WE MISS THAT AWESOME SONIC RAINBOOM?”
“Umm... H-hi there,” spoke up a half-nervous Fluttershy, feeling that introductions were in order. “You guys remember me? Dashie and I came with some frien-”
“FLUTTERSHYYYY!” exclaimed the orange stallion, noticing her for the first time. “HOW YA DOIIIIIING? STILL GOT DAT MILLION-BIT ASS?”
“Umm... I guess so...” mumbled Fluttershy. Dusk, on the other hoof, took offense to this comment.
“And just who are you?” Dusk challenged, confronting the orange pony head-on.
“GUYS!” barked the orange one to the others. “DASH BROUGHT COMPANY! SOME FREAKY CLOUDWALKERS WITHOUT WINGS! TIME FOR THE SOUND-OFF!”
Immediately, the five other muscle-bound ponies dropped what they were doing and stood in a straight line, much like a sector of the Royal Guard. One by one, they took turns introducing themselves by crudely bellowing out their respective names with max-volume and beer-breath.
“BAZOOKA BLUE!” yelled the blue one.
“ORANGE CRUSH!” yelled the orange one.
“GREEN MACHINE!” yelled the green one.
“BOOSTER GOLD!” yelled the yellow one.
“BLOODRED ÜBERCHARGE!” yelled the red one.
“AND I’M BOB!” proudly screamed the purple one.
“WE’RE DASH’S BROS, YO!” they all said at once.
“Guys, these are my friends from Ponyville,” Rainbow Dash introduced. “Y’all already know Fluttershy, Applejack’s the one with the cowboy hat, Rarity’s the one with snootiness, the pink one over there is Pinkie Pie, the chick with the flashy wings is Trixie, and this is Dusk Shine, my personal sex toy!”
“Rainbow Dash!” objected Dusk, “That’s highly inappropriate! Besides, we only did it once, and I’m not even sure that even happened!”
“Don’t mind him, he makes up for it in bed,” Dash added smugly.
The siblings shared hearty laugh at the dirty joke, consisting of knee-slapping and the pegasus equivalent of high-fives. Eventually, one of Rainbow’s brothers (let’s call them ‘the Rainbros’ for short) caught sight of a certain tortoise Rainbow had to drag along.
“HEY, WHAT’S WITH THE TURTLE, DASH?” asked Booster Gold.
“Oh yeah, that,” she said, blushing a bit in shame. “I sorta owe Fluttershy for this one. Ignore it.” Dash looked around, a thought nagging in the back of her mind. “Umm... guys? If you’re all here, then where’s Dad?”
The hearty laughed died down, giving way to the all-too-classic awkward silence. Finally, Green Machine spoke up. “...HE AIN’T COMING, DASH,” the massive green pegasus confessed. “HE SAID HIS BOSS IS MAKING HIM WORK OVERTIME AGAIN.”
“Oh,” said Rainbow Dash, lowering her gaze in disappointment. Dusk Shine, never pleased to see his friends in a bad mood, took this opportunity to reassure Dash.
“Don’t worry Rainbow, we’re still here,” he said with an uplifting smile.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she sighed passive-aggressively. Rainbow Dash’s father had an infamous history of working late, despite his attempts to make up for it. In fact, Dash’s childhood was chock-full of a rather long history of unintentional neglect. Dad usually meant well, and he even constantly apologized for his frequent absence, but the fact still remained that he missed a lot of little league games and whatnot. She could still remember it like it was yesterday...
Flashback to Dashie’s days as a filly...
Rainbow Dash’s father (whose name, I suppose, should be Spectrum Blast. That sounds cool enough to be related to Rainbow Dash, right? Aw, whatever. Everybody’s got a different name for him anyway. ) trudged in, every bone in his body aching from a hard day’s work. He didn’t even have the strength to take off the full-body jumpsuit he needed for work. With half-dazed eyes, he looked at the clock. It was past eight. He turned his gaze back forward, shambling across the house like a zombie. His monotonous mood was broken only when a familiar rainbow blur crashed into his face.
“Daddy! Daddy! Look!” said Rainbow Dash, showing her flanks. “I’m back from Flight Camp! I got my cutie mark!”
“Whuuuhh...” murmured Spectrum Blast, still half-asleep. “Whuzzat? Huh? Wait... OH!! DASHIE, YOU GOT YOUR CUTIE MARK! Congratulations! What’s your special talent, slugger?”
Filly-Dash cleared her throat, attempting to make her voice sound as deep and dramatic as possible. (In harsh reality however, her pitch still sounded high and scratchy.) “I pulled off... The. Sonic. Rainboom.”
"No way!" exclaimed Spectrum Blast. "Did you really?"
"Yep!" comfirmed the filly. "You should've seen it, Dad! I was like, WHOOSH! And the sky like, BOOOOM! And the the crowd was like, raaaaaahhhh!! This one kid even got the whole thing on his phone! I've been watching it over and over; you just HAVE to see it!!!"
Like a bolt of lightning, Rainbow Dash whipped out her phone and showed her father the video. They watched together in a five-minute silence, then Spectrum Blast hugged his little girl in pride, holding her up in the air like a trophy for the best honor a pony could ever receive.
"That's my champ!" he said with an ear-to-ear grin. "I knew that someday you would be destined for greatness!"
"Yeah, I'm gonna be making rainbows all over the place, just like you!" said Rainbow Dash.
The moment of happiness died down as Spectrum Blast's smile faded. He stopped joyfully flailing his daughter around, but was still holding her in his forehooves. "Wait, what?"
"Yeah, you make rainbows, right?" said Rainbow Dash, not understanding why her father wasn't smiling anymore. "You know, back at work? In the factory?"
"You want to work... in the factory?"
"Phttt, naw!" scoffed Dash. "I'm gonna be a Wonderbolt, remember? Stunt flying and all that stuff. You guys just make rainbows the old-fashioned way." She paused, looking into her father's eyes in thought. "Hey, what is the old-fashioned way? I mean, how do you make a rainbow without using a Sonic Rainboom?"
Spectrum Blast put Dashie down and coughed. "Erm... we make them out of spectra, of course."
Dash tilted her head and asked, "Then where does spectra come from?"
"Uhh... lesse... where does spectra come from.......... AHA! CRAYONS!"
"Crayons?"
"But of course," said the stallion confidently. "The crayon companies of the world know how to make every color there is. So, the Cloudsdale Weather Corporation needs to spend millions of bits on crayons every year to make rainbows. That's what Daddy does for his job; he makes sure that all of the crayons go into this big spectra-making machine we've got in the back of the factory. Makes sense?"
Not really, thought Rainbow Dash, but because she had an innate instinct to avoid making her single father look bad, she decided to ask a follow-up question.
"Is that why you always come home covered in this red stuff?" she inquired, pointing to an unidentifiable red liquid clinging to Spectrum's work clothes.
"That's from working at the red part of the rainbow, Dashie," he said quickly. "That part gets a little leaky sometimes. That's why my job is so important!"
"Ohhhh," said Rainbow Dash with understanding, "so that's why your job has such long hours!"
"Exactly."
"Say, is this why Mom left us too?" asked Rainbow Dash passively. "Like in that one movie where the guy had to leave his wife because his secret life as a super spy was putting her in harm's way and-"
"Tell you what," said Spectrum Blast, cutting Rainbow off mid-sentence, "why don't we drop this for now and I'll tell you all about it when you're older? We have something to celebrate tonight, after all."
"Oh, right!" said Rainbow Dash, slapping herself on the forehead for forgetting. "My cutie mark! So, what are we gonna do? Throw a pizza party? Go to Buck E. Cheese's? SCHEDULE TICKETS FOR A WONDERBOLTS SHOW??"
"Even better," said Spectrum Blast with a sly smile, putting the uncomfortable conversation with his daughter behind him. "You know what your grandpa did when I first earned my cutie mark?"
"What?"
"Brinner."
"What's brinner?"
"It's breakfast for dinner."
"Serious?" said Rainbow Dash.
"Seriously serious," said Spectrum Blast.
“That can actually happen? It’s possible and everything?”
“Yup.”
The cyan filly bolted away into the hallways, screaming at the top her lungs, “HEY, GUYS! GUESS WHAT? DAD’S COOKING US BRINNER!”
Cloudsdale a la present time...
Dash mentally shook herself. She didn’t have time to dwell on the past. She needed to get her head in the game. She needed to focus! She needed to win!
“Anyway, thanks for coming, you guys,” she said to both her friends and her brothers. “I have to admit, I was getting a little jittery until you folks came along. Now that you’ve all cleared my head, I’m sure to win! Hey, why don’t we give you the grand tour of Cloudsdale to celebrate? It’ll be fun!”
And so it was.
Meanwhile at Ponyville’s library...
Spike yawned. That was, without a doubt, one of the best naps he’d ever taken in his life. He sat up straight in bed, wondering if he could walk around now without getting nauseated from his flu. He looked about the room, seeing the pile of letters from Canterlot that was sent earlier. The very memory of those letters made Spike’s stomach lurch. That was NOT the best part of his day.
Still, Spike’s curiosity slowly rose as he stared at the miskept pile of scrolls. What caused the Princesses to send Dusk so much mail? It had to be important. He contemplated the act of getting up and reading a few of the scrolls.
Nah, thought Spike, that mail is meant for Dusk. I shouldn’t invade on his privacy.
The bedroom lay still with silence.
“Oh what the hay,” he said to nopony in particular, “why shouldn’t I go through them? I read all his letters anyway. Besides, staying at home is a little boring.” With that, he stumbled out of bed and made his way to the unopened mail. However, since the scrolls were in an unkempt mess, Spike had no idea which letter was sent first. As such, the baby dragon was forced to pick a letter with the classic method of ‘eenie-meenie-miney-moe’ and begin reading without any context.
Sorry, sent that one by accident. Throw it away.
Well, that’s informative, thought Spike with great sarcasm. Is this from Celestia again? He looked on the return address. Huh. It’s from Princess Luna. Hey, all of these are from Luna! What’s the next one say?
IF THOU ART READING THIS, BURN THE LAST LETTER WE SENT THEE!!! DO NOT READ ITS VILE CONTENTS, JUST BURN IT!!!!!
Spike’s eyebrows raised at the words ‘vile contents.’ Are some of these letters... naughty? Did Luna send some porn or something to Dusk? he wondered. His brow furrowed. If that’s the case, I should stop reading these right now! I have no right to invade Dusk’s privacy on such a personal, intricate matter!
...buuuuut I’m sure Dusk would mind if I take a quick peek. What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right? He ripped open the next letter he could grab.
Dear Dusk Shine,
If you would, we’d like a response now.
A simple ‘I forgive thee’ would be fine.
Or a ‘I don’t forgive thee.’ Whichever. ‘Tis completely up to thou.
Love,
Luna
Dear Dusk Shine,
If thou art reading this, drop whatever thou art doing and just write something to us. Anything. Literally anything. Just write thy name on a piece of parchment and sent it to us.
With a calm, patient head,
Princess Luna
P.S.
I know this is sudden, butWe need to talk, becauseGood news,Bad news,I, Princess Luna, am going to beThou art to beBY THE HOLY TITANS, SPIT IT OUT LUNA!
We love thee. Never forget that. We will always love thee, even when we don’t know why.WHY CAN’T WE TELL HIM? WE’RE SUCH A COWARD!
Spike scratched his head in contemplation. Huh. I should probably write a response saying that Dusk isn’t home right now. Who knows how long Princess Luna has been waiting?
Dear Princess Luna,
Sorry about the delay, but you have to know that Dusk isn’t home right now. He went to big competition-thing to root for Rainbow Dash. Don’t worry, I’ll tell him to write back as soon as he gets home.
Sincerely,
Spike de Draco
Meanwhile, at Canterlot Palace...
Princess Luna lay sleeping in her bed. After sending letter after letter, pouring her feelings into each piece of parchment, she finally was tired enough to plop down onto her luxurious bed and lull herself to sleep. In fact, she was sleeping so softly, she didn’t even notice when a scroll appeared on her nightstand with blaze of green fire. Luna turned over onto her side, lightly cradling the small bump that was already growing in her womb.
Right then, Spike congratulated himself, so where’s the porn letters?
Dear Dusk Shine,
It is I, your Princess of the Night. We know that the time of this parchment must be odd, given that we usually are at peaceful slumber during our sister’s daytime, but alas! We toss and turn, yet we do not sleep. We pace about our bedchamber as we write this, pondering our flirts and follies we scatter your mind with. We look outside the window, seeing the sun at high noon, yet still the thought of sleep is vacant from our mind. How many times doth our two paths crossed but have not met? How many of our actions are justified? At what cost of dignity did our flesh pay for what either of our hearts did not yet decide?
What your Princess is trying to say is that she is sorry.
We are sorry for the dreams of intercourse and bunny suits, because we now know that affair was of ill means, despite its pure and just end. We were wrong to seduce thee and then trick thee into thinking that our passion was nothing but a dream. We know if thou love us truly, thou wouldst forgive us a thousand times over with an open heart. If not, our love twas not meant to be.
With pleading forgiveness,
Princess Luna of Equestria
Dear Dusk Shine,
It’s Luna again.
Please. Write. Back.
Love,
Luna
P.S. Has my sister not told me something? Is ‘please’ no longer the magic word? We shall look it up.
“I’m feeling better and better that I sent that response,” said Spike aloud. “What’s the next one say?”
Dear Dusk,
MARRIAGE! We completely forgot to address that!!
Okay, so wilt thou marry us? We could even elope!
Your blushing bride,
Princess Luna
“What the BUCK?!” Spike gasped. “Luna wants to elope with Dusk? Where did THIS come from??” Not knowing what else to do, he read the next letter.
Dear Dusk,
Don’t read that last letter. Burn it. Too personal.
“Well, I guess this means that Luna’s come to senses. I mean, can you imagine how crazy it would be if she came down here with a wedding ring, swept Dusk away and-”
We wanted to propose face-to-face anyway
“WHAAAAAT??!!”
Dear Princess Luna,
I know that you want to marry Dusk now, but I think it’s a really, really, really, really, really bad idea. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t give up on your relationship with him, but I don’t think now would be a convenient time for you to swoop down here and propose to him. Try to get to know him first. You know, take things slow. You’re in no rush. Maybe you could even wait until after he’s dealt with a crowd of jealous mares that will tear him limb from limb if SOMEPONY just happens to go in and tell them that they can never, ever have him. You know, just a thought.
Sincerely,
Spike
P.S. Trust me, I know how relationships work. I’ve been in few of them myself. I’m a baby dragon, after all. The ladies can’t get enough of me.
There, thought Spike, that should resolve everything. I’ve completely averted a crisis! Let it never be said that I don’t look out for my big bro. ‘Cause that’s what bros do. Look out for eachother and stuff.
...I wonder if that porn letter still exists.
Dear Dusk Shine,
We’re preg-
Spike’s brain stopped working. He stared at the rest of the parchment with a blank, cold expression. His jaw hung slack. His thought process at that moment was reminiscent of a continuous spit take.
Five minutes later..
“You there!” Spike cried. “You! Do you have any spare hot air balloons?”
“Umm... Are you okay there, son?” asked Hot Air, owner of Hot Air’s Hot Air Balloon Rentals. “You look pretty sick. And why are you carrying all those scrolls?”
“Not important! Just need to get to Cloudsdale!”
“Why’s that?”
“HE NEEDS TO KNOW!!”
“Who does?”
“SHUTTUP, BALLOON BOY! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!!”
Meanwhile in Cloudsdale, where nothing dramatic or life-changing was happening in particular...
In short, the tour of Cloudsdale was wonderful. Our heroes first went to the Cloudsdale Weather Corporation, where 98% of the weather in Equestria is manufactured. (And I'm saying this ahead of time: No, they didn't go into the spectra production wing. That place has special security clearance for a reason.) Instead, they visited the snowflake manufacturing wing, where every snowflake of winter is hoof-crafted by the finest artists with wings. It was a rather painstakingly long and hard process; crafting all those snowflakes all summer. But despite the hours of overtime those pegasus sculptors spent in a room with custom-made freezing tempuratures, the pegasus sculptors were rather proud of their work.
I should also mention this: When Trixie first stepped into the snowflake manufacturing wing, she accidently blew away all the snowflakes out the window with two little flaps of her butterfly wings.
She and everypony involved with her was banned for life.
After that shameful incident, our little ponies decided to lighten the mood by going to Rainbow Dash's favorite place in the world: The Wonderbolts Hall of Fame. This was the place where every great Wonderbolt was immortalized with a rather large and impressive picture accompanied by a few of their trinkets. (Old uniforms, lucky goggles, favorite teddy bears, etc.) In Rainbow Dash's book, this was the only museum that was actually cool.
I should also mention this: The tour guides for the exhibits noticed Trixie and wanted to take a photo of her. Then, one of the staff suggested that Trixie should come around the place more often, so the Hall of Fame would gain more publicity. Trixie agreed, but only if she got her own exhibit. The manager said that they'd have the exhibit up in three weeks.
Rainbow Dash was not amused.
Finally, Dusk Shine and the crew were at the Cloudsdale Cloudsdome, owned by Doug Cloudsdome.
“WE’RE HERE, DUDES AND DUDETTES!” announced Green Machine. “LET’S HEAR IT FOR THE BEST TOUR EVAR!”
“YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!” cheered the Rainbros, sharing a five-way high hoof.
“Quite the stage you’ve got here,” commented Trixie. “The Great and Powerful Trixie sees why stunt flying is such a hit.”
“Yeah, it’s pretty cool,” passively said Rainbow Dash. With Trixie screwing things up left and right on this trip, the cyan pegasus was feeling less than hyped about the competition.
“But Trixie wonders...” Trixie thought out loud, “...what if it could be cooler?”
“Trixie, what are getting at?” asked Dusk Shine.
*WHACK!*
“HA! Joke’s on you Pinkie, I’m wearing a cup!”
*BONK!*
“Ow, my eye!”
“Erm... as Trixie was saying,” continued Trixie, “She was just wondering if there was a way to... enhance the performance of her friend Rainbow Dash. Possibly... competing with her?”
Rainbow Dash was just about to respond, but it was Rarity that spoke up instead. “Oh, no you don’t, missy!”
“What?” said Trixie. “Trixie thinks it might-”
“No. No, it won’t,” Rarity cut off. “I know what kind of ideas are going through your head right now, and I can tell you here, none of them are going to happen. This day belongs to Rainbow Dash, and you’re going to support her the right way.”
“But-”
“Trust me Trixie, you’ve done enough.”
Trixie stared back for the longest time. She turned her gaze to Rainbow Dash, then to Dusk, then back at Rarity.
“Fine,” the blue unicorn said begrudgingly, “Trixie supposes that she could provide more assurance to Rainbow Dash from the sidelines.”
Rarity smiled with satisfaction. “Thank you. That’s very ladylike of you, Trixie.”
“But as long as she’s in the audience...” Trixie said slowly with a growing smirk, “... then the Great and Powerful Trixie might as well... claimdibsontheseatnexttoDusk!”
“Dibs on the other seat next to him!” Rainbow Dash injected.
“Rainbow, yer not gettin’ a seat, remember?” Applejack corrected.
“Oh, right. Too busy being awesome. Forgot about that.”
Pinkie waved a hoof in the air excitedly. “Ooo! I’ll have that seat next to Dusk!”
“Um, don’t I have a say in who sits next to me?” inquired Dusk.
“DOESN’T LOOK LIKE IT, BUDDY,” said one of Rainbow Dash’s brothers.
Later, in the Best Young Flyer’s waiting room...
Rainbow Dash looked into the bathroom mirror with beaming confidence. Nothing could bring her down now. In fact, just to show how confident she was, she gave herself a little pep talk.
“Alright Dash,” she addressed herself, “You’ve had a few bumps on the road today, but you’ve pulled through. All your friends are out there, ready to cheer you to victory. Winning is not a problem. Winning is your thing. It’s what you do. You’re Rainbow Dash! You pulled off the Sonic Rainboom! It’s all part of your routine. You did it once, and you can do it again.”
“But what if you can’t do it again?” her reflection almost seemed to say back.
“No. That is NOT an option. You are NOT getting cold hooves right now. ‘Can’t’ isn’t in your vocabulary.”
“But what if-”
“‘What if’ isn’t healthy for you either, girl.”
“But what if-”
“Hey! You’re stepping outta line here!”
“But what if you buck up the Sonic Rainboom? What happens then?”
“Well, you’ll just have to improvise.”
“Improvise what?”
“A corkscrew maneuver! Some loop-de-loops! The Buccaneer Blitz! Whatever feels good at the time! Why do you think it’s called improvising?”
“What if they’re not good enough? What if some other pony comes up with something better? What if you don’t even get second place?”
“WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ‘WHAT IF?!’”
“Captain Storm Wing, the first Wonderbolt, said that a good flyer always thinks of all the precautions.”
“Newsflash, sister: Precautions never slowed you down either.”
There was a knock on the bathroom door. “Are you finished in there?” called a voice. “I need to pee kinda bad.”
“You’ll just have to wait!” snapped Dash. “We’re busy in-err, I’m busy in here!”
“Sure you’re not nervous?” commented the Rainbow Dash in the mirror. (Or at least in the real Dash’s imagination she did.) “Talking to yourself this much isn’t a good sign.”
“Stop being so smug. You’re supposed to be the insecure one, remember?”
“Did we establish that? I thought that you were just having a pep talk.”
“That’s right. You’re nopony. So, go away!”
“But you still might lose!”
“I don’t do losing!”
All of a sudden, there was a thud aside Dash’s head. She turned around, looking into the face of the nameless tortoise that Fluttershy gave her.
“Oh, hey there,” said Dash. “Forgot you were in here, too.”
The tortoise blinked.
“Promise to keep what you heard just now a secret?”
The tortoise blinked.
“Yeah, you can’t talk. I know that. That’s pretty much the joke.”
The tortoise blinked.
“Look, I needed a little humor here, okay? I’m getting the worst case of the jitters, like, ever!”
The tortoise blinked.
“You’re right, I should just get over myself. The best athletes do their best with a cool head, right?”
For a change of pace, the tortoise didn’t blink. His eyes were moist enough.
“You know, you’re a great guy to talk to. A real good listener. Maybe you’re not the pet for me, but I ought to drop by to visit you at Fluttershy’s now and then. You know, after this has blown over. You’re a lot less expensive than a therapist, lemme tell you that!”
Guess what the tortoise did? Yep, he blinked again.
Meanwhile, back the entrance of the Cloudsdale Cloudsdome...
“Sorry kid,” said the security guard. “But I can’t let you in. Sold out.”
“But you’ve GOT to let me in!” protested Spike desperately. “It’s a matter of life and death!”
“Literally?”
“Well figuratively, to be honest. But it’s still really important!”
“Look, we don’t have room for a baby dragon, so you can guess that we don’t have room for a baby dragon suspended by an air balloon. Scram, kid!”
“But it’s an emergency!”
“Yeah, an emergency,” repeated the guard mockingly. “Guess what? You’re the eleventh little shit today with an ‘emergency’ of just getting a free show. If you want to see the action, go get your parents to reserve a ticket!”
“UGH!”
“UGH!” groaned Rainbow Dash. “This wait is taking forever. How did they work up the nerve to slap me at the last performance? Why couldn’t they just pick me to go first, see how awesome I am, and then just end the competition there by default?”
The tortoise nudged against Dash’s side, still not having complete control over his helicopter.
“Dude, quit it,” mumbled Rainbow. “I don’t have any time for... whatever turtles do with their owners. Or are you a tortoise? Can’t quite remember what Flutters told me. Hey, are you even a male?”
“...”
“Right. Still can’t talk. Sorry.”
Again, the tortoise nudged her side.
“Stop that! It’s getting annoying. Besides, you might crack Dusk’s test tube thingy.”
Dash’s green companion looked at her quizzically.
“What? The test tube thingy? That’s just something he gave me to look after. It’s supposed to be super important and sciencey. Now that I think about it, what was it supposed to do?”
It’s something I’ve been working on since magic kindergarten. I’ve been searching for a way to enhance a pony’s natural talent.
“Oh yeah, that’s what was,” said Rainbow Dash. “Wait, that’s PERFECT!”
“Excuse me, miss,” said a random one of the other competitors, “but are you talking to a tortoise?”
“Umm, no?” said Rainbow with an embarrassed smile.
“Okay, then,” shrugged the background pony, and went on his way.
Forgot that I got kicked out of the bathroom for a second, thought Dash sheepishly. Gotta keep this all in my head from now on. Now, where was I?
Yes, now I remember. The talent potion. So if I drink this, I could erase any chance of me losing this thing! I could even pull off a Sonic Rainboom again!
Wait, no! That’s a terrible idea! I’d be cheating!
Then again, it’s not exactly cheating if it’s not in the rules. Steroids might be out of the question, but this thing in my wing is a totally new substance! It might even be the standard for flyers to take this in a few years! By taking this, I could be a great, famous innovator!
But what about my friends? What if by taking this, I’d be letting them down by not being myself.
Well, what they don’t know won’t hurt ‘em. Besides, if I DON’T take this AND I lose, I’d be letting them down anyway. Me, the great Rainbow Dash, lose the biggest non-professional pegasus competition in the world? They’d have untold disappointment! My BROTHERS would have untold disappointment! What if Scootaloo gets word that I royally screwed up? The kid looks up to me like a god. I might as well tell her that Santa Hooves isn’t real if she hears about that. I could be crushing the dreams of a child if I don’t take this potion!
Well, I guess one little sip won’t hurt. You know, for insurance.
As the Element of Loyalty, I swear I will not take a single sip of this potion.
Oh yeah, I forgot about that promise. Crap. Why couldn’t I have gotten the Element of Laughter instead? I know a few good jokes, don’t I? That way, if I broke that promise, Dusk and I could just laugh it off over some cider. Heck, Pinkie could even find a loophole in that. Wait, that’s it! A loophole! I could take two sips instead of one!
Without another thought Rainbow Dash whipped out the purple potion and took two swift gulps. She smacked her lips, feeling the aftertaste of Dusk’s experiment.
Hey, this is pretty good. I kinda expected it to taste like that gross cough syrup Mom used to give me while I had the feather flu, but this stuff is great. Sorta reminds me of a drinkable version of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Okay, I should be feeling 20% cooler any second now!
Any second now!
Any second now.
Any second now.
Any second now.
Annnny second now...
Maybe this needs a certain dosage to get the blood pumping. I’ll take another sip. You only live once, after all.
*Slurp*
“Contestant number 13?” said the voice of a secretary across the room. “You’re up. Got your wings stretched?”
“Aw, yeah!” said contestant number 13, a white-maned stallion with a milk chocolate coat. “Now’s my chance to be a star! LEEEEROYYY WIIIINGKIIIINS!!!!!” He took off like a rocket, into the sky and onto the stage. Of course, he pulled a muscle during his following performance and crashed into the cloud wall three feet above celebrity judge Princess Celestia’s face, but that little act isn’t really important to the story.
Come on, magic potion! silently urged Rainbow Dash. I’m contestant number 15! It’ll be my turn any minute! Why aren’t working yet? How the clop can I even tell??!
“Contestant number 14? Time to go.”
That does it, Rainbow decided.
*CHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUGCHUG*
“What’s that?” asked the secretary, idly watching Rainbow Dash taking her last gulp. “Some kind of sports drink?”
“Sure, let’s go with that,” answered Rainbow Dash, sweating bullets from the sheer pressure. “New flavor of Gatorade.”
“Well, I hope it helps,” the secretary laughed. “The competition is tough this year. Can you imagine that some of the younger ponies drop out due to the mental strain? It’s like an SAT test here sometimes.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow Dash agreed with a nervous laugh. “Wh-what a bunch of noobs.”
“Say, is that a flying turtle?”
“What? This? He’s with me. That isn’t against the rules, is it?”
The secretary shrugged. “I dunno, I’m just an intern. Anyway, it looks like it’s your turn to go.”
“Yeah, looks like it,” gulped the cyan speedster. Here goes everything.
She spread her wings.
She said a prayer.
She took off.