//------------------------------// // The Crash // Story: I get a break // by xCloudx //------------------------------// I just stared at the three little dazed fillies. There was a little orange one with wings and a purple mane sort of looked like a chicken. The white one had a unicorn horn I smile remembering the acid trip I had with Neil Patrick Harris. Those were the days but I was young wait I still am. And the last one had a buttered colored coat with a dark pink mane a big bow. They all stared at me. Now being 900 I have been stared at plenty of time in disbelief and scariness. But this stare was different like they were excited. I got onto my feet towering over them they still stare at me with excitement in their eyes. “WE CAUGHT A MONSTER!” yelled the orange one. “Im not a monster im many things but a monster is not one of them!” I retorted feeling being hurt. “It can talk!?” the white one nearly yelled. My feelings were being hurt author y u gotta make me feel bad bro? “Will you stop it I have feeling you know!” I replied harshly They flinched when I said that “Sorry about the tone just im on vacation didn’t expect to be insulted by three little fillies.” They all looked at me “Vacation? From what?” I stopped for a moment “I will tell you later now call me cloud. Now let me answer all your questions and give me your names if you would I don't always want to refer to you as the orange one are the yellow one are the marshmallow.” “Mah name applebloom!” replied the yellow one “Im scootaloo!” replied the chicken “Hi im sweetie belle!” they stopped for a moment and looked at each other “AND WE ARE THE CUTIE MARK CRUSDAERS!” they all screamed at tones that would make a deaf man hear again. I held my ears and fell to my knees screaming “AGGHHH MY BLOODY EARS!!” being the guardian and all they healed pretty fast. I got back up to my feet “now any questions?” they all looked at me “What are you and what’s that on your side?” I glance down at my side to see my super-duper trusty blow your brains out hand cannon. “Heh that’s my boom stick I guess you can say. And for what I am I was human at least I think I still am human I am many things I was an apple once a dragon a no what never mind but I guess you can just say that im a guardian.” They all looked at me “YOU WERE A DRAGON!?” scootaloo shouted. “Yea long story fun times Heh I miss spyro a bit.” I looked at them. “Now tell me my little fillies’ do you have a place I can stay im too old for sleeping outside.” Aw yeah cloud bringing out the to old excuse well I am old but never too old. “To old? Yu look younger than a baby rabbit what do ya mean to old?” I get to explain this “Well girls since im the guardian I am immortal and whatnot I haven’t aged a day since I took the job well was forced to take the job anyway. Now be polite to the elderly I am 900 years old and my bones are very fragile.” Im going to feel fucking terrible for messing with these fillies later. They all looked at each other with grins that could kill. “CUTIE MARK ELDERLY GUARDIAN HELPERS!” OH GOD I REGRET THIS! “WAIT NO IM KIDDING PLEASE JUST NO DON’T KNOW I CAN JUST TAKE ME SOMEWHERE I CAN I DON'T NEED HELP!” they all looked at me with big sad tearful eyes. “I can make it up to you but it will be a surprise. Okay?” “YAY YAY YAY YAY!” they yelled in unison. “Alright now that is done will you please take me to your residence to stay please?” applebloom nodded “Alright everypony get on the scooter!” I stopped I aint getting on a scooter I had a better idea. “Hang on a second your home is just up there “Yup it is just straight down there bout a mile.” I smiled “Alright gimmie a minute I will find a ride there why don't you girls go on ahead I know I will catch up.” They nodded “But watch out cloud don't get seen by applejack I want to surprise her with you!” wait surprise know what never mind I pulled out my phone. Im on vacation this better work. I dialed in authors number it rang once and he picked up “watcha need kid?” I stopped myself. “TRON BIKE!” I squealed into the phone with a giant grin. Author laughed “Alright only because you’re on vacation alright one tron bike crushing you now!” wait crushing OH FUCK. I rolled to my side as the bike came down onto the ground I put the phone up to my head again “author y u gotta hate bro!?!” he laughed “I don't hate I just love messing around with you later kid.” The phone clicked. I shoved it back into my pocket I hopped onto the tron bike “AWW YEEAAHHHH LET DO DIS THANG!” I yelled at the top of my lungs as I sped off with it. Now im sure you all have seen the new tron movie right. Well those are a lot slower these things are faster than a wagon full of fat kids going downhill. I could see the cmc ahead of me I sped a little faster than I meant to and well let’s just say when a tron bike goes so fast and hits the tiniest bump you are going to die. Well except me. “FUCK ME!!!!” I flew off the bike screaming like a little girl and cursing “OH GOD FUCK!” I was sent spiraling towards a big red barn. No seriously a giant freaking red barn. I smashed into the barn leaving a big gaping hole. Luckily I landed in a hay bale. Unfortunately I was impaled by some wood. “GOD DANGIT!” I screamed as I ripped the plank out of me. God dangit man thank god I am the guardian. Just then the barn doors where quickly swung open. I could see a really pissed off orange. “WHAT IN THE HAY AR YA DOIN IN MAH BARN!” damn this orange was pissed “Let me expla-“ she cut me off as she ran at me and kicked me right in my two best friends and I went down for the count as black took over.