"Are we in trouble?", Twilight Sparkle asked.
The captain did not answer her directly. Instead, he said in a curt tone. "Tails to the bulkhead, NOW! Stand straight. Eyes front. DON'T LOOK AT ME! Stare straight ahead, to the opposite wall." All three ponies followed his directiive.
Then, Avatar paced back and forth in front of them. "I have no idea what to do with lot of you, the worst excuses for crewponies I have ever seen in all the ships I've ever sailed!"
"We are in space now. I'm the sole authority. I mean to have no princes or princesses here on my ship. Anyone who disagrees can leave my own vessel and run their own ship. I'll be happy to escort you to the airlock on the way! No one wants to do that? Wise choice."
He walked over to the black mare. "Luna! Why did you address me in royal protocol back when we trying to escape that missile?"
"There would be no titles in space, you said.", Luna replied. "We were not in space yet."
Avatar approached her closely and touched her nose with his. "THE VERY LAST THING I NEED ON MY SHIP IS YOU, A SERVICING SEA LAWYER!", he roared at her. "GET YOURSELF THE SERVICE OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
[ "Should we actually be using those words when kids are watching this, Derek? Nova asked, unsure. ]
[ "'What words?", Derek shrugged. "This is all sweetness and light compared to my dressings down at the Academy. Avatar actually struck me on the face when I spoke out of turn, once, on the first voyage. I never did tell you that, did I?" ]
Luna retreated from the ready room in a walk, head down, her entire body and limbs stiffened in resentment.
The captain then faced the purple pony. "Twilight Sparkle.", he remarked quietly. "A heroine several times over. Bootstrapped to princess by the sheer force of inspiration. You've never lost a battle when it comes to metaphysical combat with things that go 'boo' in the night. I'm sure you're proud of yourself for all your triumphs."
"Maybe you even believe you actually can do just about anything with the right amount of research and will and brillance, and this makes you feel 'invincible'?", he asked, with mocking tones on the final word. "News update, Princess: you are not, and you never will be.", he continued more levelly.
"How do you feel about your teacher and ruler, Princess Celestia?", he asked Twilight Sparkle..
"I love her.", Twilight answered. "I'd do anything for her."
"Would you die for her?", he challenged.
"Absolutely!", she responded.
"Would you kill for her?", he asked.
"I... think... so...", she replied haltingly.
"So, the filly finally made up her mind regarding her willingness to kill to save her life and others.", he said sarcastically. "Final question for the grand prize at the fair: have you ever killed anypony on your princess's orders?"
Twilight paused. Then, she hung her head. "No.", she whispered.
"BRING THAT HEAD BACK UP!", Avatar shouted. "EYES FRONT! MAKE ME HEAR YOUR ANSWER CLEARLY!"
"I HAVE NEVER KILLED ANYPONY!!!", she shouted after correcting her posture.
"I have never killed anypony, what?", her captain asked in tones of menace.
"I HAVE NEVER KILLED ANYPONY, SIR!", she shouted again.
"And that", Avatar said, "is why you're not invincible. You've got a blind spot in your self-image. You've never defended Equestria physically. You've only solved problems to drag everypony's rumps out of the fire, and so far you've kept your hands clean. You've got a real attitude problem, Sparkle. The only acceptable answer to any question is, 'Yes, Sir', or 'No, Sir', plus what I want to know. Now, you discovered you have a problem, am I correct?"
"YES, SIR, I HAVE AN ATTITUDE PROBLEM!", Twilight Sparkle shouted, as tears ran down the sides of her face and dropped to the crystal decking.
"Poor, poor little filly.", her captain said softly in mocking tones of pity. "She's only now beginning to understand how cruel and unfair life can be. That bad things can happen to good ponies. That rewards often never go to the deserving. That evil will go unpunished despite her best efforts. That atrocities will happen which she cannot prevent or stop or solve, her only choice being to send ponies to die in order to save all the rest. That someday she will wake up remember having another sentient creature's blood spilling on her hands, or even worse, some other pony's."
"Hear me well.", he continued sternly. "The attitude which makes you the best new princess Equestria has ever seen, is exactly the same attitude that would make you judgmental regarding my decisions. This ship does not need the second-in-command, namely you, second-guessing the captain! Nobody is invincible, not even you. Anypony can fail, even you. Anypony can die, even you."
"The only cure for your attitude problem", he continued more calmly, "Is to learn to obey orders without hesitation and without question, without reinterpretation to suit your own needs or to preserve your own dignity or sense of fairness. You take the orders and you pass them down. No more. No less. Fail by letting your intellect or your scruples get in the way, and eventually you will make a decision which will Kill. Us. All. Do you read me, filly?"
"YES, SIR!", Twilight shouted.
"So.", Avatar said. "First. No more tears on my decks. I think you dropped about fifty. Lick each and every one of them up before you leave. Drop any more anywhere, and you will lick each and every one of them up. Second. After we finish the test warp, I want you to spend two of each of your offshift hours with Iron Will in basic discipline and physical training. Tell him I said so. Execute my orders. The only acceptable verbal response to an order is 'Aye, Sir'. Respond now."
"AYE SIR, I WILL EXECUTE YOUR ORDERS AS STATED!" Twilight began licking the deck.
Forest Snow glanced in the captain's direction. "EYES FRONT!", the captain shouted. As he approached Forest, he said in a lower voice, "Have you learned anything at all from what you have witnessed so far?"
"I learned I know nothing about how a ship is run or even anything about life, Sir!", Forest replied.
"You've just won the prize that Twilight missed out on.", Avatar replied. "A sheltered princeling you are, greener than grass, but at least you have the common sense to realise what you are. At least you know you're spoiled, so you have just a little bit more good pony sense than those two silly fillies combined, but even yours is miniscule. Realize you're replaceable. Luna is replaceable. Even Twilight is replaceable. If anypony gets killed, others will rise to the occasion, and the mission will continue. So do both your captain and your grandfather a favor. Train alongside Twilight under Iron Will. That way maybe I can gain two useful crewponies for the price of one. That is an order."
"AYE, SIR!", Forest shouted. After all, if nothing else he was a very quick learner based on what just happened over the past few minutes.
"Dismissed.", the captain concluded. Forest and Twilight left his ready room.
"I so much hate breaking new ponies.", Avatar said to himself. "It's got to be the worst part of my job."