*Applause from the audience as a Libyan teenager of sixteen takes the stage, dressed in naught but a white shirt, leather jacket, and dark blue jeans, a bullet necklace with his name in Arabic engraved in it as he itched his chin-strap beard, his bespectacled eyes scanning over the audience carefully.*
Hello, guys. ShadowWeaver here with some... er, dire news.
*Mumbling of concern sprinkles across the audience as they wonder what he will say.*
This story is rubbish, and I'm cancelling it.
*Simultaneous gasps of shock!*
No, I mean it.
*A few women, and even a man, faint in their seats at ShadowWeaver's words of self-animosity!*
Well... correction. It's not that this story isn't good, it's pretty damn nice, in my opinion as a writer.
*The crowd collectively tilts their heads in confusion*
However, I'm still cancelling it. For a pretty good reason, might I add: Not only are none of the Chess Game of the Gods writers even following one another's stories to help correct errors in canon, but they just don't give a shit, and so it's just descended into chaos and OP characters that USED to be good, mine included.
So believe me when I say that my dislikes are skyrocketing and my favourites are plummeting harder than the Titanic on 8x fast-forward speed.
Yes, I'm taking it out on all of you, Chess Fic authors. And me.
You see, I used to have fun with this fic, praying to God every night that someone, anyone, would want to do a crossover with Damien and his balls-off-the-walls chronicles, from saving villages, to slaughtering monsters, to getting shitty luck. I was excited to post this story to you guys in the vain hopes that it would please most of you off the bat. Sure, a lot of people disliked it for good reasons or for reasons unknown (leave comments so I can check myself before I wreck myself next time!) But hey, I had fun, and that was what mattered... at first.
Unfortunately, that fun, that sheer desire, is dead. Much like a candlelight in a tsunami.
For those of you who actually gave a damn about this fic, I'm so terribly sorry to have dashed your dreams for an update that now you and I both know will never come again. However, there is a little silver lining for you Chess Game writers/readers.
*Audience raises their brows in unison.*
I am willing to allow anyone to use Damien & Co. in their CGotG fanfics. But... one rule, and one rule only.
Don't be a fucking prick when you use him. No embarrassing shit, no stupid half-assed answers, and no straying from canon. Sure, let him date Kaileena. Sure, let him be frenemies with Osiris and have them get on each other's nerves. Yes, let Fancypants and Fleur de Lis and Mercutio all try and bond with that wacky Irish Devil Imp you all know and sort of love. But try and utilise him in moderation. Make him an okay character: strengths and weakness. Please... I beseech you.
*Heartbroken entourage smiles slightly at this possibility that ShadowWeaver was unveiling to them.*
If you guys want to use him, please message me about it and tell me the details and the fic you're writing so that I can watch over your progress and commit myself to clean up your mess. So, here's a spoiler for anyone in Trottingham: Damien's newly-acquired airship crashes into the outskirts of town... because baby dragons are hungry little bastards when they're hatched.
So, with that little hint in mind, I say "Sayonara" to all of you.
Pull the lever, Kronk.
"Gotcha."
*CLUNK!*
*A trapdoor opens up beneath ShadowWeaver's feet, and being the filthy teen-beta that he is, he descends down the chute of the trapdoor at rapid speeds.*
WRONG LEVEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR!