//------------------------------//
// Chapter 03 
// Story: Just A Couple of Ponies 
// by Tchernobog 
//------------------------------//

Applejack had always enjoyed rising at dawn. It made her feel like she was waking alongside Princess Celestia, starting the day together. The fact that she now knew the princess personally had not changed this ritual in the slightest, merely reinforcing the sensation of closeness.

She trotted down to the kitchen, mumbling a quiet greeting to her brother. They ate breakfast in silence, careful not to make too much noise, lest they disturb the still slumbering ponies in the house. Soon, their meal was finished and after sharing a brief sibling nuzzle, they made their separate ways within the farm, beginning their separate chores.

To most ponies, the chores would require most, if not all, of their concentration. To Applejack, who had done these tasks for most of her life, they were now second nature. Instead of focusing on the work, she could spend her time focusing on something else.

Thinking.

She’d done as much as soon as she left Twilight’s home, and had continued right up to the moment she fell asleep. She’d given thought to the news Fluttershy and Rarity had brought, and had wondered if it wasn’t some gigantic prank, but had dismissed that idea. Rarity wasn’t nearly as good an actress as she thought she was, and Fluttershy couldn’t have fooled a mouse.

She’d considered the possibility that the pair had been mistaken – the six of them had had their share of misunderstandings in the past. They’d made mistakes, but eventually all had turned out alright. Considering her track record, she wouldn’t have put it past Rarity to see things that weren’t there. 

Fluttershy, on the other hoof, had seemed so sure, so convinced of what she was saying. No matter her own doubts, Applejack couldn’t question Fluttershy’s conviction. The evidence that they’d brought forward hadn’t hurt either. The more she’d thought about it all, the more she was convinced that Rarity and Fluttershy were right.

Rainbow Dash was in love with them. With her.

Finished with her barn-bound chores, she headed towards the orchard, ready to buck apples out of the trees. As she moved, her mind turned towards Dash.

Dash was, without a doubt, her best friend. The two understood each other like none of the others could. They shared the same strength in both body and mind; a type none could match. No matter what they and their friends faced, they were always there, at the front, ready to take on whatever came at them. They were the first line.

It could easily be mistaken for simple mutual respect, but it went deeper than that. They felt comfortable around each other, and never minced words. Had she been asked about how she felt about Rainbow yesterday, it would have been hard to pin down. She would have said that she felt as close as a sister, but not quite the same. They simply got each other.

Thinking about it today? Applejack couldn’t deny the attraction she felt to the pegasus. She hadn’t realized it was there, but now that Dash’s interest had been brought to her attention, those feelings had crawled to the forefront. 

If she had to pin down why she'd never realized before now, she guessed it might have been not wanting to fix what wasn't broke. Had Dash approached her though, that might have changed things real quick. Hearing that the attraction was mutual was, in a sense, oddly vindicating.

But Twilight had stepped in first. Not only was Twilight her friend, but she was now her marefriend as well. And Applejack had just suggested that they see another pony alongside their current relationship.

Had she been selfish? She had warmed up to the idea mighty quickly. Was she really doing this to help Dash, or was she helping herself? 

And what of Twilight?

Twilight had been shocked. Worried. Terrified, even. Applejack had done what she could to calm her marefriend down. Had spouted some words of comfort, of hope. She was certain that taking Dash in was the best idea – but it was still the one with the greatest risks. 

She’d believed her own words then, and she still did now, but she couldn’t help the slight twinge of doubt from forming.

If she had a few doubts, Twilight was no doubt being consumed by them.

And she’d left Twilight alone, under the pretense of giving her time to think.

Applejack blinked and looked around. She was standing amongst the apple trees, not moving. She figured she hadn’t budged in a while, too lost in thought to even perform her chores. 

She willed herself forward, not towards the closest tree, but towards a far bigger one in the middle of Ponyville.

Where one Twilight Sparkle lived.





When Applejack knocked on the door, what answered her was not a princess. It wasn’t even a pony.

It was a dragon.

“Howdy, Spike. How was the sleepover?”

“Pretty fun!” He smiled, but his expression fell almost immediately. “I guess you’re here to see Twilight?”

Applejack nodded, not missing Spike’s tone. “Sure am. She all right?”

Spike slowly shook his head. “She’s just writing letters in her room, and she didn’t even notice me shouting in her ear!” He wrung his claws together as he looked up at Applejack. “She didn’t even hear me when I said I’d eat all her ice cream! What’s going on?”

Applejack chuckled, ruffling Spike’s scales. “Lovey dovey problems. Don’t you worry about it.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Are… are you two breaking up?”

“Wh-what?” Applejack sputtered. She reviewed her previous sentence, and held back from smacking a hoof to her forehead. “Naw. We’re fine! It’s jus’ somethin’ else came up.” She threw a hoof around Spike’s shoulders as he continued to stare at her skeptically. “Honest. We’re okay.”

Spike eventually nodded, visibly relieved. “Can I help?”

Applejack shook her head. “Naw. Girl talk. And I know how you like that.” She grinned, nudging Spike.

The young dragon pulled a face, sticking his tongue out in disgust. “Right. I’ll stay down here then.” He wandered off, glancing at the bookshelves. “Hey, where’d all my comics go?”

Applejack hid a grin as she trotted up the stairs. As she came up to Twilight’s room, what she saw gave her pause.

The alicorn was hunched over her writing table, the floor littered with numerous unrolled scrolls. Her mane was a mess, her horn was glowing with magic, and a quill danced over paper.

Applejack looked around, spotting a set of empty inkwells on a nearby shelf, and gave one a poke. It was a surefire way to get Twilight’s attention, and it was a trait that Applejack found utterly adorable.

It also failed miserably.

Applejack blinked. That always worked. “Twilight?” she said, hoping the sound of her voice would snap the other mare out of her daze. But Twilight remained resolutely in place. Frowning, Applejack stared at the nearest piece of parchment. Maybe those would give her a clue.



Dear Princess Celestia, how are you doing?
Dear Princess Celestia, There comes a time in every mare's life



Applejack’s eyebrows rose, and she glanced at the next set of parchments.



Dear Princess Celestia, How would you feel about–
Dear Princess Celestia, I find myself in a curious situation involving Applejack and Rainbow–
Dear Princess Celestia, When a mare loves another mare and another mare loves–
Dear Princess Celestia, jaskldgareohjalkhmtja



Each attempt had clearly been quickly dismissed, as Twilight’s frustration evidently grew. With each scroll, Applejack stepped closer to Twilight, until she stood less than a couple paces away. She glanced at the letter resting next to Twilight’s flank.



Dear Princess Celestia, As a princess, I believe I am entitled to a harem–
Dear Princess Celestia, Have you ever had a harem?
Dear Princess Celestia, How does one properly start a harem?
Dear Princess Celestia, Under the Canterlot Charter of Royal Powers and Rights, am I correct that Amendment 7, in regards to the taking of multiple spouses and–



Applejack’s could feel the heat on her cheeks as she mouthed the word ‘harem’. Princesshood had brought many obligations to her marefriend, and a few perks as well, but Twilight had never mentioned that particular aspect.

Her eyes flicked between her marefriend and the still writing quill. She lifted a hoof, and prodded Twilight’s barrel, to no effect. She moved the hoof over Twilight’s cutie mark, gently caressing it, but again, no reaction. 

She smirked as she placed herself directly behind the alicorn, lifted her hoof and began to ever so gently run it over Twilight’s spine, barely touching her coat.

The reaction was immediate.

Twilight yelped and jerked her head upwards, her wings flaring out as widely as they could, barely avoiding Applejack, who had learned exactly where to stand to avoid getting hit by the flailing limbs. Unfortunately, it didn’t protect her when Twilight whirled around to face her assailant, and one wing knocked the earth pony over. 

“Applejack!” she cried out as the sight of her marefriend sprawled on the ground registered. “Oh Celestia I’m sorry I didn’t see you there are you okay are you–”

“M’fine, Sugar,” she said, shaking her head to clear the dizziness as she stood up. She gave her best smile to her marefriend, leaning in to nuzzle Twilight. But she could tell the alicorn was still worried. “Seriously. I’m okay. Better than you, I reckon.” She glanced around at the discarded papers.

“I, uh…” Twilight blushed. 

“Y’sleep okay?” Applejack asked, nuzzling Twilight again.

“Y-yes, actually.”

“And how long you been writin’?”

Twilight hesitated. “A few hours?”

Applejack chuckled. “Darlin’, it’s barely eight in the mornin’. Did you get any sleep at all?”

“Some!” Twilight huffed, crossing her forelegs. Her ears flattened as she looked at Applejack’s wry expression. “I just couldn’t go back to sleep after I woke up, and lost track of time…”

Applejack held back a smirk as much as she could. “Too busy thinkin’ bout a harem with me ‘n Dash?”

The smirk turned into a guffaw of laughter as Twilight’s expression froze. Her entire face was covered in a blush, and she attempted to hide her face with a wing. “N-no! I wasn’t!”

“Wasn’t?” Applejack asked between guffaws.

“Well I can’t help it now. Augh!” She growled at the earth pony. “You’re impossible.”

Even after quelling her giggles, Applejack couldn’t stop smiling. “So… there really a law about harems?” 

“K-kind of,” Twilight replied, unable to look Applejack in the eye. “I read about it in Moon, Sun, and Stars: A History of Equestrian Cosmology. But it hasn’t been used in a milenium!”

“Uh huh.” Applejack grinned, glancing at the letter Twilight had been working on. “And what about that one?”

“Oh! I used a spell to directly transcribe what I was thinking to paper,” Twilight said, her pose relaxing somewhat. “Actually, it was more a combination of spells. I enchanted the quill with a ‘bring to life’ spell, and then just melded it with my thoughts, and–”

“I’m guessin’ that’s why it looks like you’re screamin’ in it?” Applejack said, pointing at the single, continuous ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ that covered the entire paper. She shook her head at Twilight’s downcast expression, and leaned in to give Twilight a kiss. The alicorn melted into her embrace, the tension flowing off of her like a waterfall.

Applejack nuzzled Twilight as she leaned away. “Spike’s worried about ya. How ‘bout you go eat breakfast with ‘im?” She gave the alicorn her best grin. “I’ll write the letter for ya. I reckon we could both use a bit o’ advice.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. She glanced back and forth between the discarded letters, and her marefriend, before closing her eyes and nodding. “That’s probably a good idea. Thanks,” she said, smiling. 

The farmer found her a while later, relaxing at the kitchen table. A mug of hot coffee steamed in front of her, its aroma reaching Applejack’s nose as she approached the alicorn.

Twilight turned and faced her marefriend, a warm smile on her face. She immediately noticed the scroll in Applejack’s mouth, and with a nod of the mare’s head, she grabbed it in her magic.

“Take a look, darlin’.” 

Twilight wordlessly unrolled the scroll, trepidation creeping in. Hopefully Applejack would have done a better job than she had.



Dear Princess Celestia, 

I am writing you on behalf of myself and Twilight. I'm not gonna mince words your majesty, but we need your advice real bad.

Now, before you panic, things are fine between Twi and me, but, well, we got a bit of a romance situation nonetheless. You see, a while back we had a double date with our pal Rainbow Dash, and her date never showed up. Since then we've just been inviting her along all natural like, not thinking anything of it.

Trouble is, our friends have informed us that Rainbow might have developed feelings… for both of us. As you can imagine, it's got us all kinds of flustered. You see… we're considering just letting her date us.

Look, we could really use a sage word or two, if you don't mind. I don't have the foggiest idea how this would work. I mean… I think I have some relatives that went off and started a herd at some point, but it's not like I can just go ask em how it went. And Twi… you can probably guess why I’m the one writing the letter. I figure you might have seen this type of thing more than once, so I’d like to ask, what's your take?

Signed,
Applejack and Twilight



Twilight rolled the scroll once more and sealed it, then floated it to the dragon.

“I take it y’like it?” Applejack asked.

“It’s perfect,” Twilight said, nuzzling Applejack’s cheek. “Spike? Can you send that off?”

“Sure!” The dragon grabbed the letter out of the air, and blew his fire on it. The wisp of magic spun in the air before zooming off towards Canterlot.

Applejack stared at where it had gone for a moment before turning to face Twilight. “Twi, can we talk?” She glanced at Spike, who rolled his eyes as their gazes met.

“I get it, I get it. I’m going,” he grumbled as he stepped out of the kitchen. Twilight’s eyebrows rose at his departure. She turned to face Applejack with a questioning look.

Applejack coughed at looked away. “Girl talk. That’s what I told him this was all about.”

“Fair enough.” Twilight smiled. “What did you want to talk about?”

The farmpony held Twilight’s gaze for a moment before speaking. “Twi… are you okay with all this?”

“With Dash, you mean?” Twilight asked hesitantly. 

“Yeah. I kinda feel like I forced ya into this.”

“What? No–”

“Lemme finish,” Applejack interrupted. “I was thinkin’ ‘bout it this mornin’. You know how me ‘n Dash have always seemed close, right?” Applejack asked, waiting for Twilight’s nod. “I think it took Rares and Shy tellin’ us that Dash likes us t’realize, but… I think I always had a thing for Dash.”

Applejack lifted a hoof as Twilight’s eyes widened. “I ain't saying what we got ain't special – you have no idea how special.” She slipped close to Twilight, kissing her gently. “I really hope I can find the words to explain it right.” Applejack closed her eyes, and took a deep breath before opening them again. “But Dash's really special too. I gotta know… are you just goin’ along to make me happy? I feel awful tryin’ to push you into this if I’m the only one who feels this way.” She shook her head vehemently. “I don’t wanna see ya hurt. We can stop this right now if ya say the word.”

Twilight stared wordlessly at Applejack. She then slowly leaned forward and turned her head, pressing her cheek against Applejack’s chest. Despite her magical growth spurt making the angle rather less comfortable, it was still something she loved doing. She could feel the rise and fall of Applejack’s breathing, hear the heartbeat. She felt the warmth of the other pony, and sighed in contentment.

“You said last night you saw how much it would hurt to tell Dash to go away,” Twilight began, still leaning in Applejack’s embrace. “You’re right. Just thinking about her not being there… I don’t even want to imagine it.” 

“Sugar…” Applejack hugged Twilight closer, trying to stop the alicorn from shivering as she spoke.

“But I’m scared, A.J.. I don’t want to mess this up. There’s so much at stake here!” She leaned harder against the earth pony’s chest, her breath hitching slightly. “I don’t want to hurt Dash. Or you. I-I just don’t know what to do.”

“Darlin’. We've fought off changelings, Discord, and other world-threatenin’ things.” She leaned back, and lifted Twilight’s chin with a hoof. “Dash is our friend. I think we can handle this stuff with her well enough.”

Twilight smiled, shifting her head to press her cheek against Applejack’s hoof. “Why are you so confident in me?”

“‘Cause you’re smart, amazin’, cute, and I love ya?” Applejack grinned as that finally got a giggle out of the alicorn. “‘Sides, you’re already askin’ for advice. Sounds like a good plan to me.”

Twilight coughed gently. “Uh, that’s kinda because I was and still am a bit desperate?”

“Don’t change the fact it’s a good idea.” Applejack tilted her head towards the library’s main room. “How ‘bout we go look for some books to help while waitin’ for Princess Celestia?”

Twilight’s ears perked up at the suggestion. “That’s a great idea!” she said, grinning at Applejack. “What would I do without you?”

“Fly off into the sunset with Dash, would be my guess.” Applejack smirked, before yelping when Twilight swatted her flank with a wing.

“Don’t tempt me!”

As the pair made their way into the other room, the fact that a response hadn’t arrived after a few minutes didn’t bother them in the slightest. It simply gave them more time to peruse the books.

They even missed the thirty minute mark entirely, too engrossed in intriguing, but ultimately unhelpful reading material.

After an hour, they shared a spot of tea. They were relaxed, and unworried.

Two hours after the letter had first been sent off, Twilight was pacing back and forth.

“She never takes this long! Oh I knew this was a bad idea–”

“Whoa there, partner. I told ya it was a good idea, and it still is.” Applejack shrugged. “Maybe she’s busy?”

“But–”

“She’s a princess, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The earth pony smirked at the alicorn. “You should know first-hoof how busy she is.”

“Well yes, but waiting and doing nothing is driving me crazy!” she huffed, and glared as Applejack began laughing. “What’s so funny?”

“You sound like Dash,” the farmer said, between giggles. 

Twilight couldn’t help but smile. “Now I know how she felt when she broke her wing.”

“You reckon some Darin’ Do might help here?”

Twilight shook her head. “Not unless she can give us some advice.” She narrowed her eyes as Applejack’s expression became thoughtful. “I know that face. What are you thinking about now?”

“Well…" Applejack hesitated. “How ‘bout the girls?” she continued when Twilight stared back at her with a blank look. “I kinda threw them out after you vanished last night. Told ‘em to give us time.”

“I did wonder where everypony had gone…” Twilight said. She gave it more thought, and nodded. “Sure. Let’s go.”





“Remind me again,” Applejack grumbled as they made their way through town.

“Hm?”

“Why are we talkin’ to Rarity first?”

“Uh,” Twilight said, momentarily at a loss. “Because she always seems to know every little thing about romance?”

“Right,” Applejack replied, her scowl unchanged. “Ain’t you worried ‘bout how she’ll react?”

“I'm sure she won't treat it like some storybook romance. This is reality, after all. She knows that.”

“I hope you’re right…” Applejack said. Not a minute later, the pair arrived at Rarity’s home, and stepped inside.

“Oh, girls!” the fashionista exclaimed. “How are you doing?”





“Ta-ta for now, dears!”

Applejack and Twilight stood outside the Boutique’s closed door, staring straight ahead.

Applejack cleared her throat. “Well.” 

“We learned a lot,” Twilight said.

“Yes, we did.”

“None of it useful, mind.”

Applejack shook her head. “Nope.”

“For instance, I suspect I now know who keeps borrowing the vampony romances without checking them out.”

“That’s somethin’ at least.”

“Right.”

“So… Pinkie?” Applejack suggested.

“Sure.” Twilight grinned back. “It can’t possibly be any worse, right?”





Sugarcube Corner's door opened, and out tumbled two ponies with pink cheeks. Hot on their heels was one all-pink pony, her voice rising after her two quickly-departing friends.

“But you don't want to try that until you know what everypony likes. That's important!” Pinkie shouted.

Twilight couldn’t help slowing down, turning her head. “Pinkie, why in Tartarus do you know all this?”

Pinkie giggled. “Silly! Orgies are just parties with less clothes!”

“But – we don't wear clothes!”

“Damnit Twilight, stop correctin' her and run!”

“Sorry! I didn’t know–”

“Apologize later, run now!”

Pinkie pouted as the couple turned a corner. “Aww. I didn't even get to show them what the potato is for!” She grinned as she noticed the eyes of various passer-bys on her. “Hi! You wanna buy a cupcake?”





“Is she followin’ us?”

“I think we lost her!”

“Phew.” Applejack released a breath as she crawled out of the bush the couple had hid in. “That was…” She trailed off.

“Embarrassing? Mortifying? Unpleasant? Disturbingly informative?” Twilight offered.

“I was gonna say ‘awkward’, but those work too.”

Twilight’s haunches sank to the ground as she rested. “Remind me to teach Pinkie about what topics are suitable for public conversation.”

Applejack snorted. “Oughta sign Dash up for that too.” The orange pony blinked, and glanced at the skies. “Speakin’ of, where’s she been?”

“Probably busy working. She mentioned she was going to Cloudsdale tomorrow to pick something up for lunch, so she must have a lot to finish today.” Twilight glanced at her marefriend, who seemed to have lapsed into silence after her response. “Hey. What’re you thinking?”

“Huh?” Applejack blinked, her expression losing the contemplative look she’d acquired. “Oh… Just realizin’ how right the girls were. We really do have Dash around a lot.”

Twilight had no response to this, and simply nodded. There really wasn’t much to say. She glanced around, finally situating herself. In their mad rush to escape death by embarrassment at Pinkie’s hooves, they hadn’t paid attention to their surroundings. It turned out they’d hid in Ponyville’s park. 

Her ears flattened as she noticed ponies staring her way. After all, it wasn’t every day that the town’s very own princess ran past, only to hide in a bush. Her cheeks burning, she made to turn to Applejack, intent on escaping scrutiny, when she noticed a little purple and green shape wandering through the park.

“Is that Spike?” Applejack asked at her side.

“It is. Spike!” she yelled, drawing the attention of the little dragon. He came running, holding aloft a bundle of letters. Twilight gaped at them. She’d left him with instructions to track Applejack and herself down when he got the response. Despite the delay, she knew that Princess Celestia would eventually send her a letter back. 

She hadn’t, however, expected four letters. But that’s what Spike was presenting her.

“There you are! Took me forever to find you guys.”

Applejack grinned and ruffled the scales on Spike’s head. “Sorry, Spike. Had to run from Pinkie for a bit. Real embarrassin’ girl talk,” she explained, as he rose an eyebrow at her.

“Ew. Say no more.” Spike looked down at the letters, then back to the ponies. He studied Twilight’s face for a moment, then looked back at the letters she had just grabbed in her magic.

He made his decision.

“Spike, why are there so many?” Twilight asked. Silence was her only answer. “Spike?” She tore her gaze away from the scrolls, only to see a distinct lack of her assistant. She gritted her teeth, drawing in a slow breath, letting it go in a quick exhale. “Why would he run off like that?”

Applejack chuckled. “I think I’ve been overusin’ that excuse. But don’t you mind him; let’s see what we got here.”

Twilight grunted, and unrolled the scroll bearing Celestia’s mark.



My dearest Twilight, and dear Applejack,

First, I apologize for the delay in my response. While I have had numerous relationships in my life, they have primarily been of a monogamous nature – there have been a few polyamorous relationships, but the most recent of these date to even before Nightmare Moon’s banishment. As such, my experience in the matter is likely less than relevant today.

Thus, I believe that Luna may be better placed to answer your questions. I also forwarded your request on to Cadence, hence the delay. As the Princess of Love, even though she is still young, I believe she may be able to help you better than I.

Despite my aforementioned paucity of experience, I have the utmost faith in you two, my little ponies. I sincerely believe you will make the best decision you can, and that you will do everything you can to support it.

Yours Truly,
Celestia

PS: It seems that Shining Armor has included a letter of his own with Cadence’s, so I am attaching it to this bundle. Give my apology to Spike when you can. I hope he hasn’t gotten another stomach ache from receiving so many letters.



“That… wasn’t nearly as helpful as I was hopin’,” Applejack muttered. Wordlessly, Twilight unrolled the next scroll.



Dear Twilight Sparkle & Applejack,

Twilight, I am most pleased to hear that you are starting your own harem. 

I had until now thought that you would take but a single lover, much like my sister, but it fills me with joy to hear you are considering multiple suitors.

Rainbow Dash is an excellent choice. She is most pleasing to look at, as are all of your friends. Have you considered asking your remaining entourage to join as well?

Before my banishment, I maintained an extensive harem myself. Do not be mistaken: this was not a purely physical arrangement. I did dearly love those ponies, even during my fall from grace. Perhaps the time for mourning has finally passed.

Thank you for this letter, dear Twilight, dear Applejack. It has made me feel much better. Perhaps it is time to start a new harem?

Yours Truly, 
Luna.

PS: Dear Applejack, when next you visit Canterlot, would you be so kind as to bring your brother with you? I would much desire to be introduced to him.



Had she not been as shocked as Applejack, Twilight would have teased the farmpony endlessly. She resolved to just file this away for future opportunities. “Maybe Cadance had something useful to add?” she said, and began reading the third letter.



Oh Twilight, I’m the one with the ‘Princess of Love’ title, yet here you are with multiple lovers. Should I be worried? I guess I can stick to the ‘Goddess of Fertility, Inebriety, and Music’ one. Or as Celestia used to joke, ‘sex, drugs, and rock and roll.’

Sorry, I shouldn’t tease. But really, if you are in love, you don't need anypony's advice about what to do. There is a little voice that speaks to us when we find that special somepony; I became what I am when I found I had a talent for getting ponies to listen to that voice when other things spoke too loudly for them to hear it. 

In your and Applejack’s case, there’s simply a second voice alongside the first.

I suggest you sit down, have a nice cup of tea, clear your minds, and really listen to what your hearts say. 

Love,
Cadance.



“I reckon’ some hard cider would be more useful than tea right now.”

“Last thing I need is a hangover, thank you. As tempting as it sounds.” Twilight glared at the letter. “So, ‘listen to your heart’. Isn’t that what Princess Celestia was saying?”

“Yup.”

The alicorn sighed as she pressed a hoof to her forehead. She blearily opened one eye, and fixed it on the last letter. “At this point, it can’t get worse. It just can’t”

Applejack put a hoof on one of Twilight’s. “Only one way t’find out, Sugar.”



Hey Twily!

So. I'm Captain of the Royal Guard. You're a librarian. I'm a toned, fit athlete. You've got a little pudge – or so Princess Celestia tells me. I’m a charming conversationalist. You’re a shy bookworm.

How are you getting more mares than me, Sis? How?

It’s the wings, isn’t it?

I'm not sure whether to be proud or jealous. I'm going with proud, and that's certainly not because my wife is watching me write this. Seriously, Sis – I just want you to be happy. If they do that for you, go for it, and if anypony has a problem with it, they'll have to go through three alicorns, five elements of harmony, and me first.

Now, I've got to go. I need to… discuss this 'Patron Goddess of Fertility' thing my wife has somehow unaccountably failed to mention before. I think you can tell Mom she can stop worrying about grandfoals, though – she's been bugging me about it ever since she found out you weren't interested in stallions.

Your BBBFF,
Shining Armor.



With a wordless cry of frustration, Twilight tossed the letters into the air. “This doesn’t help at all!”

“I was expectin’ something more,” Applejack agreed, bending down to pick up the discarded letters in her mouth.

“I don’t have a pudge! And can you even believe Luna? A new harem? With your brother?”

“I’m tryin’ not to think too hard ‘bout that, thank you.” Applejack grinned slyly at Twilight. “But weren’t you gonna ask Princess Celestia ‘bout harems this mornin’?”

“I – But – Argh! That’s beside the point!” Twilight crossed her arms, glaring at the letters in Applejack’s arms. “I was just hoping for some advice from my mentor, is that really so much to ask for?”

The farmpony shook her head and chuckled. “Well if ya' want some real words of wisdom, why not talk to Granny Smith?”

Twilight blinked, staring into the distance for a moment. She then got up, and started heading towards Applejack’s home. “You know what? Sure. Let’s do that.”

“Er.” Applejack scrambled to catch up, not having expected Twilight to take her seriously. “You sure, Sugar?”

“Yes. We’d be heading that way anyway to see Fluttershy. And we’ve tried everything else. It literally can’t get worse now.”

“Will ya quit sayin’ that?”





The old mare’s rocking chair was still, and its occupant was fixing Twilight with an indecipherable gaze. One that still made her think her hooves were quaking. Princess Celestia could probably learn a few tricks from the Apple matriarch. 

Thankfully, the silence was soon broken.

“So lemme get this straight. You and mah granddaughter been together how long now?” Granny Smith said.

“Um.” Twilight blinked. “F-five months?” 

“And y’all’ve been friends with Rainblow Crash fer how long now?”

“Rainbow Dash, Granny.” Applejack muttered.

The elder Apple raised an eyebrow at the younger. “Ah heard that, Lil’ Apple! Ah'm old, not deaf! 'Sides, that's what Ah said! Hrmph.” 

Twilight did her best to ignore this exchange in favor of answering the question, wondering if this was going anywhere. “Ever since I got to Ponyville, Mrs Smith.”

“Even longer fer Applejack. And Ah tol'ya to call me ‘Granny’ a million times, dear. Anyway.” Granny Smith shrugged. “Rainbow's been hangin' around you two for a good while now, yes?”

Twilight glanced at Applejack, unsure where Granny Smith was going with this. “Yes?” 

“Ah'm surprised this ain't come up sooner. Figured Lil’ Apple here woulda wrestled her into submission by now, or Rainbow would landed on her and plopped a wet one on her cheek. So, when’s th’wedding?”

“G-granny!” Applejack sputtered, attempting to hide her blush by pulling her hat down with a hoof. “We ain't quite sure we even want to date her yet!”

“Well, what are you waitin' fer? A gilded invite? Go talk to her!”

“Granny!” 

The old mare chortled gleefully. “She's stuck with y'all through thick and thin, child. Even when you done gone messed up the town a few times.” Her gaze flicked between the two mares. “Th’both o' ya.”

Granny Smith relaxed into her chair once again, building a slight rocking rhythm as the younger mares wished they could burrow into the ground forever. “Ah’ve seen y’all keep her grounded when she needs it. Y’all have seen each other at yer worsts, and she's still taken a shine to ya.” She smiled at the two confused mares. “And y'all like her back just fine.”

Twilight shook her head. “But why us? That’s no different from the others. In fact, she's known Fluttershy longer than either of us. What makes Applejack and me different?” 

“Couldn't tell ya, filly!” she chortled as two pair of eyes stared at her in disbelief. “An’ Ah ain't the one you should be askin', now am Ah?” 

Twilight smiled sheepishly. “I suppose not, no.”

“Darn tootin'. Y'all just gotta make sure y'all at the same point.”

“What point, Granny?” Applejack asked.

“Y'all love each other, pony fer pony, and not just as a group. If one link is weak, it'll come down faster than this barn at the last reunion!”

“Granny!”

The old mare eyed the pair and sighed. “Ah kin tell yer still not convinced. Come closer.”

The pair shared a look, but obeyed. They each took a side next to the old mare, who wrapped a hoof around their necks. “Now close yer eyes.”

Twilight frowned. “But what–”

“Jus' do it, y’all see in a moment.” Twilight held her tongue, closing her eyes after noticing Applejack had already done so. “Now, Applejack. Tell me ‘bout Rainbow Dash.”

The farmer opened her eyes. “But Granny, you know her–”

“Eyes shut!” Granny snapped. Applejack immediately complied. “Humor me, child.”

“Well, you've seen her. She's all colors.” Applejack grinned. “When I first met her, I thought the zap apples had come early!” She cleared her throat. “Probably ‘cause I bucked her out of the tree she’d been nappin’ in. Then she said she wanted free apples to ‘make up for the injuries I gave her’.” 

The old mare laughed. “She was just fine, wasn’t she?” 

“Fit as a fiddle. Told her I’d give her a few if she beat me in a hoof wrestle. And she dang near did. First pony I’d met other than Big Mac who could give me a run for my money.” Applejack shook her head, still smiling. “That kinda set the tone. Always tryin’ to one-up each other. Y’all saw where that got us.”

“Ah did indeed.”

“She’s stubborn as heck, and I know what I’m talkin’ about. Heh.” Applejack chuckled guiltily. “Wouldn’t change her for the world though. And she’s brave, maybe a lil’ reckless, and–”

“That’s enough, dear,” Granny interrupted. “Your turn, Twilight Sparkle.”

“Uh. She's… well to be honest, she's infuriating. The very first impression I ever got of her was from being bowled over into a mud puddle when she crashed into me,” Twilight grumbled, yet was unable to fight the grin from spreading across her face. “I couldn't help but like her, though. Even when she's so full of herself I just have to knock her down a peg or two. I just wish I had that kind of confidence. It's like… when she's around, I feel like I can do anything too!”

“That all?” Granny asked.

Twilight blinked, momentarily drawing a blank. “She… she’s an amazing flyer?” She chuckled nervously.

The hoof holding her close tightened briefly. “Settle down, child. Just say whatever yer thinkin’. Ain’t no right or wrong.”

“O-okay. But she really is!” Twilight said. “The way she twists and turns so quickly, she has to calculate all those vectors and angles on the fly!” She giggled to herself at her inadvertent pun. But her mirth soon dissipated. “She’s so much smarter than she gives herself credit for. It’s frustrating sometimes. She could learn so much if she just put her mind to it! But she rarely does.”

Silence hung a few short moments until the old pony broke it. “Y’all can open yer eyes now.”

The two young mares did so, staring at each other. Both look slightly flushed, and weren’t quite sure why.

“Applejack,” Granny said, drawing the orange mare’s attention. “Ah’ve raised ya since you were a foal. Ah’ve seen you grow all these years, an’ Ah think Ah know ya pretty well.” She hugged her granddaughter tighter, laying her chin on the younger pony’s blond mane. “Ya love that pegasus, Lil’ Apple.”

Granny held Applejack for a moment, then turned to face Twilight. The alicorn’s ears flicked backwards, and she fidgeted under the old mare’s gaze.

“Ah ain’t known you as long, Missy. But believe you me, Ah studied y'all pretty closely when Ah heard you was courtin' mah grandfilly.”

“Granny…” Applejack said, snapping her mouth shut as her grandmother gave her a short glare.

“Don’t interrupt, child!” Granny Smith turned her gaze back to the young princess. “Ah think Ah know ya well enough too. An’ even with all that bellyachin’ Ah heard, Ah kin tell ya yer in love with Rainbow Dash too. Don’t think fer a second ya aren’t,” she added, catching Twilight’s shocked look.

Twilight blushed brilliant red. “I-I’m not sure I can say that, not yet.” She took a deep breath and pressed on. “But if she feels that way about me… I want to try. I want to see if I feel the same way.” She blinked and held the old mare’s gaze. “I don’t want to ignore what she feels. Is that love?”

“Ain’t my job to tell ya,” Granny replied, grinning. “But if she loves ya, then go fer it. And give me plenty of grandfoals!” She cackled as the two young mares fell backwards, their faces redder than ever. “Y'all seem to care for her a whole lot. Ah think she'll be in good hooves.”

Twilight’s brain kick-started itself back into action. “Thank you, Granny, that was really helpful!”

“See?” Applejack grinned. “Granny's a pretty smart pony.” 

“Smart enough Ah had 'em make a bed big enough for me and my special someponies back in the day!” The old mare cackled to herself. “Had it built extra strong too; pegasi like it rough, ya' know.”

“Granny!”





“You know…”

“Hm?” Applejack turned to look at her marefriend, shifting the sprig of grass she’d acquired.

The alicorn stared ahead as they kept walking, making their way off the farm. “The more I think of it, the more I realize something.”

“What’s that, Sugar?”

“Granny sucks at giving advice.”

Applejack snorted. “Now what makes ya say that?”

“Celestia used to do the same thing. Made me think enough about something to realize I already knew the answer,” Twilight huffed. “It always annoyed me, but it worked every time.”

The farmpony chuckled. “That’s how old folks work. If y’can’t see what’s right in front of ya, they’ll help ya sort yourself out.” 

“Are you calling Princess Celestia old?”

Applejack blinked, sputtering before noticing Twilight’s grin. She gave her marefriend a mock glare. “It’s not like she ain’t!” she said, bumping the other mare’s shoulder with her own. 

Her smile dipped as she slowed to a halt, staring at Twilight. The alicorn looked at her inquisitively. “Did it help?” Applejack asked gently.

Twilight hesitated, looking away for a moment. “I… I think so.” She nodded, and released the breath she’d been holding in. “Let’s do it.”

Applejack looked her straight in the eye, and put a hoof on hers. “Ya sure, hon?” 

“As sure as I’ll ever be.” Twilight smiled, leaning into a nuzzle. She pulled back and looked around as she heard a gasp. It hadn’t sounded like it came from Applejack.

A panicky Fluttershy stood down the road, trying to hide behind her mane. “I-I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!”

Applejack shook her head at the mare. “You ain’t botherin’ us none, Fluttershy. What brings ya ‘round these parts?”

The pegasus peeked at the pair, and cautiously approached them. “I was looking for you, but… Are you sure? You looked very, um. Busy?”

“Just a bit of P.D.A..” Twilight grinned, holding back a sigh at Fluttershy’s confused expression. “Public displays of affection? Anyway, why were you looking for us?”

“I heard from Pinkie that you were looking for advice about Dash?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. We tried to find you earlier, but you weren't home.”

“Oh! I'm sorry, I was out giving Harry a massage.” Fluttershy sighed. “He really needs to take better care of himself.”

“Don’t you worry ‘bout it, Sugarcube.”

“Yes, well…” Fluttershy hesitated, her eyes scrunched shut as she clearly fought some internal battle. Some part of her must have clearly won out, as the words started pouring out of her at a pace that would make Pinkie envious. “I think you should try dating her because you're really compatible and it's obvious–”

Applejack blinked, sharing a look with Twilight. “ ‘Shy–”

“–very much and I've seen you together and it's so cute and–”

“Flutter–”

“–be devastated, and I know it's a lot to ask but–”

“Fluttershy!” Applejack yelled, stopping the pegasus’s tirade. The yellow mare flinched at the volume, cowering behind her wings.

Applejack sighed, pressing a hoof to her forehead before approaching her cowering friend. “ 'Shy, it's okay,” she said gently. “We've already decided to give it a shot, if Dash is willing.”

Fluttershy visibly deflated. “O-oh. I guess you don't need my advice after all.”

“No no no!” Twilight jumped in. “We'd still love some advice! I mean, you’ve known her the longest. Do you have any tips to give us about dating her?”

“I think so. Um. She likes compliments. I think you know that though.” Fluttershy smiled as the two other mares chuckled. “And she–”

“Wait!” Twilight blurted. She glanced at Applejack, who gave a long-suffering sigh and took off her hat. The four letters they’d received could be seen within, and with a flare of Twilight’s magic, a notepad and pencil floated from behind them. “Okay, ready!”

Fluttershy blinked. “O-okay. She doesn’t like ponies touching her hooves, she loves Neighponese food, but hates Marexican. It gives her gas,” she said, giggling. “Um. She doesn’t like sitting around too long, unless its something she finds really interesting. And she loves an audience when she’s flying – you know that, of course, but she really likes it when you watch her from above the clouds, because then she has more room for stunts.”

Twilight beamed as she finished writing. “Thanks, 'Shy! I would never have guessed about the Neighponese food.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Happy to help. Don’t try to change for her. She really likes you like you are.” She glanced at the sky, deep in thought. “Oh! Before I forget, her favorite flowers are anemones. And whatever you do, don't play with her tail – she hates that.”

Twilight’s pencil paused as she stared at the pegasus. Next to her, Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Fluttershy, how do you know all this?” the alicorn asked. 

Fluttershy’s smile suddenly grew strained, as her eyes flicked back and forth, looking for an escape route. “Um, we… mayhavedatedbeforeyoumovedhere?”

“Really?” Twilight asked. “But… you never mentioned it before.”

Applejack smacked her forehead with a hoof. “O’ course. I’d plum forgotten.”

Twilight’s eyes rounded on her marefriend. “You knew?”

“I forgot! Been a while.”

Twilight huffed, turning back to Fluttershy. “Why did you stop? If you don’t mind my asking, of course.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s okay. We dated a bit before she left flight school. She kept me safe.” She smiled wistfully. “I found her here a few years later. We tried picking up where we left off, but it didn’t feel the same anymore.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Twilight said, her ears flat. Fluttershy shook her head again.

“It’s okay. It’s probably better this way. We still love each other like sisters – which is probably why it didn’t work out.”

Applejack rubbed a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. “Jus’ one thing botherin’ me ‘bout Dash’s tail,” she mused, then flushed as she realized what she just said. “N-not like that!” She cleared her throat and pressed on. “But why in tarnation doesn’t she complain when I grab her tail?”

Fluttershy looked away, unable to meet Applejack’s eyes as her blush covered her entire face. “Th-that’s not the kind of playing I meant.”

Applejack’s eyes widened, her own blush deepening. Twight’s pencil kept scratching on the paper, keeping detailed notes of everything she was hearing. 

“Thanks, Fluttershy. I think that should keep us busy for a while. I mean, that should help,” Twilight amended quickly.

The pegasus nodded, still blushing. “I should get back to my cottage. Angel’s probably hungry. See you later?” The pair nodded. As they all turned to make their way home, Fluttershy paused once again.

“Um… Twilight, one last thing.” Fluttershy blushed. “Dash is…” She trailed off inaudibly. 

Twilight cocked her head to one side. “Sorry, Dash is what?” 

“Dash is… really really good at preening.” Fluttershy stared at the ground. “Oh Celestia, sorry, it's so embarrassing. It's just every time she would help me we…” 

Twilight stared, uncomprehending. “Shy, calm down, I don't see what–” She trailed off as the meaning hit her, and Twilight blushed crimson as well. “Um. Got it, duly noted.”

Fluttershy nodded silently, before fluttering away.

Twilight sighed, staring at the sky. “Honestly. Pinkie, your grandmother, Princess Luna, and even Fluttershy. Is everypony except us a deviant sex fiend?”

Applejack guffawed loudly. “Except us, Sparky?”

Twilight frowned. “Yes?”

The grinning farmer leaned close to her marefriend, her mouth almost touching Twilight’s ear. “Dash. Liquid rainbow. Lasso.”

Twilight froze for a moment, then blushed even more deeply. “R-right. Everypony. Including us.”

She grinned at Applejack, giving her marefriend a sly look. “So, wanna go back and ask Pinkie for those tips?”

Laughing, she ducked the orange hoof aimed at her head.