//------------------------------// // Self control. // Story: Love Me... I Mean, If You're Ok With Me // by elmago02 //------------------------------// “Goodbye, Sweetie Belle, see you next week.” Rarity waved at her little sister, who was walking between a pair of Unicorns, Rarity’s parents. They walked away from the boutique and disappeared from view as they turned the corner. “Well, Alice, I guess is time for us to make our way to… Alice?” Rarity looked around, but couldn’t see her most recent friend. “Where is that mare?” Rarity made her way inside the boutique. ‘No… no… Don’t do it... That love… is not for... me.’ Alice thought between breaths as she kept hidden behind her cart. She was curled in a ball, with her hooves pressed against her temples. She felt as the feeling of the couple and the little filly disappeared in the distance. Letting a small sigh escape, she lowered her hooves. ‘I… I almost did it… again.’ Alice dropped her head, a single tear fell to the ground. ‘I have to hold these urges.’ The moment Rarity’s parents had shown up in the boutique, the moment they hugged Sweetie Belle, the moment of reunion of the family, was when the love felt the strongest. Alice, at the moment, had been next to her cart, looking for a good log to work in while Rarity finished cleaning the kitchen. Thank Celestia Alice was at a good distance from the display of love, or she could have done something that she would regret. In the year that Alice had been “traveling”, she had little, almost no contact with other ponies. Only what was necessary to not die from starvation. Sometimes, she would grab one of the logs from her cart and her tools, and with it, she would make a little train, a little wooden doll or a little statue. She would walk until she met another traveler, or a house by the road, or until she reached a town. She would show her work, and after that, she would give it away, not accepting a single bit for it. But it wasn’t that she didn’t obtained anything from it. She obtained love. Not the deep, unconditional love from a caring mother or the friendly but abundant love from a friend. She obtained the small amount of love that a foal expressed when he obtained something new, something that would make him or her happy. It was harder to obtain something from a grown up pony, but there was always a small amount of thankfulness. After getting enough to last for a week or so, she would leave the town, and continue her journey to nowhere in particular. So, after witnessing that display of love from that close, one of the strongest kinds of love, how the family of Unicorns hugged, Alice almost lost control. She was like a starving manticore looking at a defenseless rabbit in the forest. She wanted all that love for herself, but she couldn’t take it. If she dared to absorb that love, it could bring problems for the family, she could destroy their unity. But there was something more. Seeing that display of love in the family, that made Alice mind go back about twelve years. It made her remember a certain family of unicorns. She could feel a pain in her heart, her eyes started to fill with more tears. That’s why she had to leave. Being exposed to this much love all of a sudden, it was dangerous for the ponies and herself. She was risking getting discovered. And that party that Rarity had talked about, it was just- “There you are.” “Ahhhh!” Alice jumped a meter and a half to the air and then landed on the pile of wood, thankfully, not hurting herself with something. “Oh my, Alice, I’m sorry for startling you like that.” Rarity extended a hoof and helped Alice get down from the cart. “I didn’t mean to scare you, darling, I was just… Alice, are you okay?” the unicorn asked as she watched directly at Alice eyes. They were slightly red. “Of course, I just ummm, emmm… got a little dust in my eyes!” Alice wiped her eyes and forced a smile, “You know, while looking for something over here.” She pointed at the cart as she forced a bigger smile. “It’s nothing, really.” Rarity held Alice’s gaze for a moment. “Very well. So, as I was saying, we should go and see Pinkie. Don’t be afraid of her, she’s a bit strange...” Rarity rubbed her chin as she thought of something. “No, forget that, she’s very weird, but she’s one of the kindest ponies in all Equestria, and she throws the greatest and most enjoyable parties. She does one for each new pony in town. Now, follow me, darling.” Rarity started to walk in the direction of her friends workplace and home, but stopped as she hadn't heard the steps of another pony following. “Alice?” Rarity asked as she turned her head. “Emmm, Rarity, I…” Alice needed to think of some excuse to not go meet Rarity’s friend. She just couldn’t risk going to that party. Why? Because a party meant that a lot of ponies would gather and they would have fun. They would talk, dance and eat. Why was that a bad thing? Because that would mean love would fill the party. And even worse, with a lot of ponies, there was bound to be at least one couple. The love from a friendship was tasty, but the romantic love was something from another world. She had barely managed to contain herself with Rarity’s family, but if she went to that party, full o- “Alice!” “Ahhhh” Alice jumped in surprise and landed again in the pile of wood. Rarity sighed and used her magic to levitate Alice out of the pile. “Is something bothering you, Alice?” She asked as the mare reached the ground. “I don’t want to keep bothering you, I think I should go now. You are very generous, but I don’t want to keep imposing on you. I will- Wa!” Alice speech got cut of as Rarity wrapped her again in her magic. “Nonsense, darling. You are not a bother.” Rarity started to walk to Sugarcube Corner. “But, emmm, doesn’t a party take a lot of time to organize, I don’t see the need for-” “Don’t worry about details, Pinkie can organize a party faster than Rainbow Dash can clear the sky from clouds.” “Who… Who’s Rainbow Dash?” Alice asked as she tried to get out of the magic aura. “She’s a good friend of mine. You will meet all the girls in the party. Pinkie always invites every pony in town.” “E-e-everypony?” This was worse than Alice had thought. Sure, she imagined that there would be a good number of ponies. But she thought it would be twenty ponies at most, not the whole town. She needed to think of something. “Rarity, wait!” Rarity stopped and turned to look at Alice. “I-I… I’m scared of ponies!” Alice fell to the floor when the magic aura around her disappeared. “You are? But… You were fine with me and Sweetie.” Rarity surrounded Alice with her magic again, but just for a moment to help her stand. “And you had a workshop where you sold things to ponies.” “Emmm, I-I, you see… I’m scared of large group of ponies.” Alice was sweating bullets by this moment. “When I sell something I make, I just deal with the pony interested.” “Oh, I understand.” Rarity rubbed her chin for a moment. “Don’t worry Alice, you can still enjoy the party. If I talk with Pinkie, I can make it so just a few ponies come to the party.” “I-I’m not sure-” “Please, Alice. It will be just my friends.” At that moment, something struck Rarity as odd. Why was she so determined to convince Alice of go to the party? She just shrugged it off as just wanting her friend to have a good day. “I think…” Alice looked directly to Rarity’s eyes, the same blue eyes that had looked at her last night, the eyes of the mare that allowed Alice stay under a roof for the night. The eyes of the mare that had fed her, even if she hadn’t known she was doing so. The eyes of her friend, as Rarity had stated last night. “I think I can go if it’s only your friends.” “Excellent!” Rarity gave a light hug to Alice. “Follow me, we are almost there.” Rarity continued her walk to the bakery, followed closely by Alice. As they approached the door of Sugarcube Corner, Alice stopped one more time. “Then, it will be only a few ponies in the party?” “Yes, darling, I’ll make sure that only my five friends and the two of us will be present.” Rarity opened the door with her magic, but before she could enter… “Surprise!” A pink pony shouted, and before there could be any reaction from the two ponies outside the building, two pink hooves grabbed each pony and pulled them inside. When the pink hooves let go of Rarity and Alice, they both looked around the place. The inside of the store was completely dark. “Pinkie! Tell me what’s happening, right now.” “Isn’t it obvious?” Pinkie answered from somewhere in the dark room, but that darkness wouldn’t last long. The lights of the shop turned on after a low click was heard in the room. The sudden light blinded Rarity and Alice just momentarily. “Surprise!” Ponies shouted from every corner of the room. “Pinkie! What is the meaning of this?” Rarity said while taking look of all the ponies in the bakery. “You silly Rarity, this is a surprise party! I always make one for the new pony in town!” “But… How did you know Alice was coming? How did you manage to prepare this party so quickly? And why did you invite everypony?” “So her name is Alice? That’s a weird name for a pony.” Pinkie put a hoof to her chin for a moment but shrugged it off a second later. She continued to talk with Rarity. “Well, after you left the bakery yesterday, my Pinkie sense told me the new pony was coming here today, so I decided to leave the decorations as they were.” “I see, that answers the two first question, I think. But why did you invite everypony?” “Oh, Rarity, I always do it for this kind of party. It’s the best way for the new pony to make tons of friends.” Pinkie beamed a smile at Rarity. “Oh no, this is bad.” “What do you mean? Why would it be bad for everypony to assist the party?” “Pinkie, Alice is afraid of ponies. I was hoping I could convince you to only invite the six of us this time.” “Oh, I didn’t know that, but, I don’t think that’s a problem.” Pinkie turned to look around the room. “Is she really afraid of ponies?” Pinkie pointed to one side and Rarity followed with her gaze. In the middle of the room, stood the cream coated earth pony. She didn’t look afraid, she didn’t try to hide, she just stood there, looking at a gathered ponies. Rarity walked up to her, “Alice, are you alright?” There was no answer. Rarity walked around so she could see Alice face to face. “Alice?” The mare had her eyes focused on something while slowly liking her lips. “Alice?” This time, Rarity got a reaction. Alice shook her head and looked back at Rarity, “Sorry, you were saying something?” “Alice, are you okay?” “Yes, why wou-” Alice caught herself, she was supposed to act scared, but she had completely forgotten that the moment she had entered the shop. “I mean, for the moment, but I had better leave. I don’t know how much I can hold this.” ‘How much time can I hold myself before sucking the love of those mares over there.’ Alice returned her look where it was prior Rarity called her. One unicorn with a cutie mark of some instrument and an earth pony with some candies as her cutie mark were talking happily to each other. “I understand, Alice, but…” Rarity hesitated for a moment on what she was about to say, “Could you give this a chance? Maybe, this is what you need to overcome your fear. Don’t worry, I’ll stay by your side, and if things come to worse, I will be there to help, to support you.” Rarity looked around her, “I know this must be hard for you-” ‘You have no idea.’ Alice tried her best not to drool at all the love in the air. “But everypony took their time to come to the party to greet you. Do you think you could stay?” “I…” Alice was about to say no, but… ‘There is so much love. I want to taste- No! This is dangerous. I can’t stay in a place with this amount of love when I have barely tasted it in so long. I have to taste all of this delicious- Agh!’ She was starting to hesitate. ‘Maybe, I could stay. I mean, this party is for me, right? There is free love in the air, if I absorb only that love, there won't be any problem for the others. I just have to stay away from that couple over there.’ “I think I can stay for a-” “Oh, Alice, I’m so proud of you.” Rarity interrupted Alice with a hug. “You are willing to stay here to overcome your fears, how brave!” Alice cringed at that. “Y-yeah, brave.” “Now, if you can follow me, I simply must introduce you to my friends; I’m sure they are enjoying the party over there. And, if you feel scared at any point, just tell me and I will get you out of here.” Rarity said as she led the way, making sure to not get close to the larger group of ponies, while Alice followed closely. Alice was slowly absorbing as much love from the air as she could. While doing that, she felt a  good amount of love with a familiar taste, something she had just tasted yesterday, and it was coming from Rarity, ‘She really thinks of me as a friend, while I’m nothing but lies.’ “Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy!” Rarity called as they approached a trio of ponies that were chatting in a corner of the shop. “Howdy, sugarcube.” Applejack waved at the unicorn. “Ah suppose that that mare following ya is the party girl.” “That’s right, and she’s my new friend, Alice Sawyer. I got the pleasure of knowing her yesterday after Twilight’s party.” Rarity moved to the side so Alice could get closer to the others. “Howdy Alice, Name’s Applejack.” Applejack grabbed one of Alice hooves between her own and shaked it with more energy than necessary. “Tell me Alice, I have never heard a name like yours, where are ya from?” Alice took a moment to recover from the shake. “I-I’m from Canterlot.” “Some fancy names they got over there. Well, Alice, welcome to Ponyville, Ah hope you like it over here.” Applejack moved so Alice could meet the others. Dash was eating some cupcakes but stopped when she noticed Alice approaching her. “Hwey, mway nwame is Rwainbow Dwash.” “Dash, could you swallow before speaking. I swear, your manners just get worse with each day that pass.” Rarity said as she rubbed her temple. Rainbow rolled her eyes before swallowing. “Hello, I’m Rainbow Dash, but you probably have heard about me already.” “Ummm, no, I-I think this is the first time I have heard of you.” “What? You haven’t heard about me? But I’m the winner of the Best young Flyer competition. I have saved Equestria like four times. I have pulled the legendary Sonic Rainboom three times and-” “Wait, Sonic Rainboom?” Alice asked with curiosity. Rainbow grinned, “Yeah, you’re in front of the only pegasus that has pulled the Sonic Rainboom.” “T-this Sonic Rainboom is like an explosion of bright colors in the sky, right?” “Yeah! You have seen it?” “Only once, when I was just a little… pony. I would love to see it again.” Alice eyes were sparkling. “Heh, I might pull one for you, and I could give you an autograph after that.” Rainbow made a cocky grin. “Ummmm, sure. It was a pleasure to meet you.” Alice then moved next to Rarity. “Alice, I must say that I’m impressed. You’re taking this better than I thought.” “What do you mean, Rarity?” Rarity rose a brow as she looked at Alice. “Your fear of ponies. You were talking without any problem. I mean, you look more relaxed now than when I first met you.” “Well, I-I…” Another slip, but Alice had to admit, that once she decided to just absorb the love in the air, she felt more secure, that there was no risk in getting caught. But, how to explain that she wasn’t acting scared? “Well, these ponies look like they are nice, and I have you looking out for me.” Rarity smiled, “I’m glad to hear that. Now, this is Fluttershy.” Rarity pointed at the yellow coated pegasus. Alice walked up to the pegasus, “Hello, Fluttershy. My name is Alice.” Fluttershy looked at Alice for a moment, then hid behind her mane and murmured something. “Ummm, what was that?” Another murmure, still, Alice didn’t understood what the pegasus said. “She probably is saying ‘nice to meet you’.” Rarity translated. “You see, Fluttershy is really timid with new ponies. That’s how I expected you would act.” Rarity then looked around. “Well, Pinkie is busy taking care of the party, so you will meet her later. Fluttershy, where’s Twilight?” Still hiding in her mane, Fluttershy walked next to Rarity and whispered something in her ear. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I hope she can get away from her royal duties long enough to come to the party.” “Royal duties?” Alice asked. “Yes, you see, Twilight is the new princess of Equestria. I’m surprised you haven’t heard.” “Oh, you see, I have been traveling for a year, that’s probably why I haven’t heard anything.” “Very well, I suppose it’s time to enjoy your party.” Alice talked with a some ponies, danced for a moment with Rarity, and was totally confused by the Antics of a certain pink mare. She was enjoying the party, she didn’t worried much about getting discovered, it was getting easier to control herself. She was slowly getting enough love from the air to fill her needs. There were a few slips, she absorbed the love that was directed to other ponies, causing those ponies to turn a bit pale, they would stop smiling and their gazes would turn dull. Thankfully, Alice managed to stop before anything serious could really happen. Even if she could control her impulses, she decided she still needed to keep her distance from the couples. After a pointless attempt to comprehend Pinkie Pie, Alice got back to Rarity’s group and started to talk a bit of herself. She only told what she had told Rarity last night and a bit of her work in Canterlot, but never revealed why she had left. While she was at that, she got interrupted by the pony she least expected to interrupt. “Twilight!” Fluttershy shouted and ran to the entrance of the shop to meet the lavender pony that had just entered. Alice watched as the pegasus nuzzled  affectionately the lavender mare. ‘Oh no, don’t tell me they are-’ “Alice, that’s Twilight Sparkle,” Rarity said as she waved at her lavender friend who was approaching them. “She’s one of my best friends, and, as you have probably guessed, she and Fluttershy are together.” “Together? As in a...” “Relationship,” Rarity finished. “They just told us yesterday, and I’m so happy for them.” Rarity looked at Alice. “I hope you don’t have any problem with two mares being-” “Oh, nononono, I’m totally fine with it.” ‘My problem is something else.’ Alice thought as she felt the great amount of love coming to her. “Hello girls,” Twilight greeted the group while Fluttershy kept close to her. “And hello to you, miss…” Alice was so focused in trying to contain herself, ‘Come on, I have been fine so far, keep calm, take a breath and don’t even think of absorbing that love.’ Alice started to take deep breaths. Rarity watching that Alice couldn't answer due to her breathing exercises. ‘Maybe that helps her with her fear to crowds,’ decided to help. “Twilight, this is Alice Sawyer. She’s from Canterlot, like you.” “Well, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Alice.” Alice kept silent. “Ooookay?” “So, Twilight,” Rarity spoke, “Fluttershy told me you were busy with some royal duties.” Rarity said as she offered a beverage to her friend. “Yes, I have been busy all the morning, it’s a little tiring, and the royal guards,” Twilight sighed, drunk a bit of her beverage and continued. “They just arrived this morning, they insist that they have to keep an eye on me. I tried to convince them that there was no need for that, but it was useless. Thankfully, I got them to agree to keep their distance.” “So they are…” “Outside, watching the entrance for any kind of “risk”.” Twilight finished her drink and pulled closer to Fluttershy. “I’m just happy  I can relax now with my special pony.” Alice saw how Twilights eye sparkled when she looked directly at Fluttershy, causing a shiver to cross her spine. Alice caught Fluttershy blushing lightly, which caused a lump to form in her throat. When Twilight nuzzled Fluttershy, Alice stomach grumbled loudly. Pinkie offered her a muffin and she ate it without thinking, even if it wouldn’t fill her real hunger. And finally, Twilight kissed her marefriend’s cheek. That was it, Alice was losing all the control she had after that display of affection at such a short distance. “S-sorry, I-I have to eat- I mean, I need lo- to go to the Bathroom!” “Alice, are you-” Before Rarity could ask anything, Alice moved away, in the direction of the bathroom. ‘I need to hold…’ Alice moved between large group of ponies. ‘Just… hold… a bit… more.’ It was getting hard as she no longer tried to keep her distance from the couples, the delicious romantic love was pushing her to the limit. The bathroom was in front of her. Alice pushed the door and caught sight of a gray coated pegasus, she grabbed her and pushed her outside. “What’s the-” Derpy stopped as a chill washed over her. After locking the door, green flames engulfed Alice, ‘I… what did I do?’