A Love Was Found...
The door slowly opened with a rattling creak that was deafening in the silent atmosphere of the night. Silver winced inwardly at the sound, feeling as though he was disturbing some sort of ancient burial ground that demanded silence and respect where the ghosts of ponies slept fitfully, only to be woken up by the slightest noise.
He wasn’t though. He was opening the door to the Ponyville library, the one that he was temporarily living in, and he was making a fool out of himself by acting as though he were sneaking in, when in reality, he was free to enter or leave whenever he wanted, and here he was opening the door by inches at a time.
He gritted his teeth irritably as he stepped through the threshold and quickly closed the door, staring angrily at the wood. “Nerves…It’s just nerves.” His heart pounded in his chest, partly as a result from his haste to get here, and mostly because of what he knew what was coming.
He sighed as he thumped his head against the wooden door and rested it there, his eyes closed as he breathed deeply in an effort to slow the pounding drum in his chest and calm the butterflies in his stomach. He stood like that for half a minute, his forehead firmly pressed to the hard wood. Eventually, he started to relax as his heart rate lowered and his stomach settled.
“Silver? What are you doing?”
Silver Quill’s eyes flew open as he whipped around, nearly tying his hooves in a knot underneath him in the process. Behind him, laying on her fetlocks on a sofa, lay Twilight Sparkle with a book held out in front of her with her telekinetic grip. Her purple coat was tinged with an orange hue from the candlelight she was reading under. Or at least, had been reading under before Silver came in, completely oblivious to her presence.
His heart started pounding again as the butterflies came back in full force.
“O-oh hey Twilight.” Silver said quickly, his voice cracking uncomfortably as he got over his surprise. “What’s up?”
The mare cocked her head. “I was just getting some reading done before bed.”
Silver nodded absentmindedly. “Is that so?” he said, inwardly cursing himself and his situation. Despite his haste to get here, he had been hoping that Twilight would have been asleep, giving him the opportunity to wait until the next day when he was more awake and alert.
Looking at the mare resting elegantly on the couch looking at him with a small, pleasant smile, Silver couldn’t help but let those irritations fade away. He was thinking with his head again, thinking things through with the logical and reasonable processes he was so used to performing, but just the sight of her smiling at him set a dull ache in his chest, one that had no rhyme or reason, yet made perfect sense to him.
“I’ve been a fool Twilight.” Silver blurted out, surprising both him and the mare. Her ears perked interestedly as she looked at him curiously.
“Why do you say that?” she questioned with a slightly troubled look on her face.
Silver’s legs carried him forward, seemingly of their own accord as his mouth started to rapidly speak words that weren’t his own. “I’ve been a complete and utter idiot. I’ve been blind to what was directly in front of my face, and deaf to what was being screamed right into my ear. I’ve been so focused on thinking about what I should be doing and feeling that I haven’t been allowing myself to actually do or feel anything.” He took a deep breath. “In short, I’ve been a fool.”
Twilight was taken aback. “A fool? I don’t think I understand…”
Silver grinned ruefully, more to himself than to her, as he gently sat down on the couch next to her. “I don’t understand either, but I’m sure it’ll come to me.” he said quietly, the earlier urgency in his voice all but gone.
Twilight looked at him for a moment, confusion writ plainly across her face for a moment before she lit up with a small, understanding smile. Wordlessly, she closed her book and crossed her fetlocks, giving him an encouraging smile.
Silver felt his stomach lurch as he watched her. A hundred thoughts went through his head all at once, too quickly and too numerous to be identified or dwelt upon for a single second, but they each resulted in a single, simple concept.
“I think I really do love her. And whatever her feelings are for me, I think it’s about time I proved it.”
“Twilight…” he said quietly. “I’ll admit, I was apprehensive at first about coming here, to Ponyville. The only reason I did come was simply to try and find a better outlet for my writing. I had no real interest in meeting the ponies here, getting to know them and making friends.”
The librarian leaned forward a bit and nodded understandably. “I was the same way.”
Silver smiled at her, somewhat sadly to Twilight’s confusion. “I’ve been like that since I was a colt to be honest. I never really put much importance on friendships or…relationships with other ponies. They seemed to be one great big waste of time and effort.” He looked down at his hooves, his face falling a bit, reverting back to its more usual neutral expression.
“The funny thing is, I only recently realized why I was like that. Why I tended to avoid having many meaningful relationships with other ponies that resulted in anything more than casual acquaintances. Even the few friends I made in school…” Silver winced slightly before shaking his head. “Well, they didn’t last very long.”
There was silence for a few seconds, prompting Twilight to lean forward curiously. “And what did you realize?”
“This is it.” Silver thought. He didn’t know what it was he was going to say, all he knew was that, for the first time he could, he was speaking purely from the heart, and his heart had something that it desperately wanted to say.
“My mother died when I was very little.”
Silver’s eyes widened at the exact same time Twilight’s did, a look of terror on his face, a look of surprise on hers. He had to resist throwing his hooves over his mouth in an effort to shove the words back in from whence they came.
“Why the buck did I just say that?!”
Twilight was just as baffled as Silver. “I-I’m so sorry to hear that.” she said sincerely, a look of sympathy bleeding into her shocked expression.
“No!” Silver said quickly, looking panicked and waving his hooves in front of his face. “No no no no, don’t be sorry, it’s completely alright. It happened a long time ago, it’s fine. I’m over it.”
Twilight looked no less confused, but nodded anyway. Silver took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down before speaking again. “Oh Goddess, I’m such a basket case…Don't screw this up Silver!” he thought irritably to himself.
“The reason I tell you this is so that you know where I’m coming from. So that you have some context.” He said slowly. “I don’t want any sort of pity party, I just want to explain myself because I’ve been treating you so unfairly.”
Twilight furrowed her brow. “You haven’t-”
“Yes Twilight, I have.” Silver interrupted, leaning forward and placing his two front hooves gently over hers. “I only now realized why.” Her words died in her throat, her expression softening somewhat as she took in his earnest expression. She looked down at the hooves that were holding hers, gently yet firmly at the same time, smiling unconsciously at the feeling.
She looked back up at him and nodded. Silver sighed with relief, relief that he still had a chance to make things right. That it wasn’t too late to do so. “Thank you.”
Twilight smiled at him once more. The fact that he did not withdraw his hooves from hers didn’t escape her, but she didn’t mind.
Silver Quill took one more deep breath before continuing, an almost eery calmness overcoming him. After spending so many days worrying and wondering, he felt as though a huge weight was being lifted from his shoulders as he got ready to finally stop thinking and start feeling, no matter the outcome of it.
“My mom died when I was 8 years old of an illness that caused her own immune system to attack her body as though it were a virus, everything from her skeletal system to her nervous system.” Twilight made an intake of breath, but Silver cut her off before she could say anything. “It wasn’t hereditary or genetic, we were told. The doctors couldn’t find out what caused her body to start destroying itself, nor could they find any way to cure it. It just showed up unannounced one day, and she was dead several months later.”
Twilight recoiled slightly, but she didn’t move away from him or take her hooves away from his, something that Silver was extremely thankful for. He didn’t think he’d be able to muster the strength to talk about this in such detail if he didn’t have what little support she offered just by being there, even if she didn’t realize it.
“That’s terrible…” she murmured quietly, her face stricken. Silver felt a pang of guilt for making her look like that with his words, but before he could try to comfort her, try to tell her that he was alright, he found his mouth running off on its own yet again.
“It…it was.” he replied as calmly as he could, his mouth dry. “I was devastated, to say the least. I could barely work up the conviction to get out of bed each morning, and my grades and my social life took a big blow because of it.”
The two ponies were quiet for a moment. Silver felt a rush of emotions pass through him like water being passed through a high pressured hose. Sadness, confusion, regret; clear memories of each clouded his eyes for a moment, and he found that he couldn’t speak as he started to lose himself to feelings long repressed.
The feeling of something against his cheek distracted him, pulling his mind back to the present. To his surprise, Twilight had leaned over and gently nuzzled him, trying to impart whatever strength she could onto him before moving back away and giving him a small, sad smile.
Silver nearly choked as he felt his chest tighten to the point where it physically pained him. He smiled weakly at her, showing his gratitude, before taking a deep breath and continuing.
“Before she died, my mom made me promise her something.” He said quietly. “She made me promise that I would be strong no matter what happened, to me or…to her, and that I would never let my emotions get the better of me.” He adopted a peculiar expression as he thought back to that night. “At first, I didn’t understand what that meant, but eventually, as I dealt with her death and got older and wiser, I came to realize what she was saying.”
Silver paused and licked his lips nervously. “Or at least I thought I did.”
Twilight’s eyebrows rose curiously, and Silver had to fight back a weary sigh. He had never spoken about his past in this way before with anypony, not even his closest friends and family back in Canterlot. That he was willing to bare his soul in such a personal and intimate way to this pony, despite the fact that he had only known her for little over a week, was not lost on Silver Quill. There was just something about her, an aura that he could sense without realizing it, that he knew on a primordial level that he could trust.
He hoped she felt the same thing about him.
“I…” Silver said quietly before pausing to clear his dry throat. He could really go for a cup of water right now. “I took it to mean that she didn’t want me to be controlled by my emotions, not just when the going got tough or when I felt like an emotional wreck, but at all times of every day…” He breathed in through his nose, forcing himself to speak clearly as it got slightly harder and harder to do so. “So I did. I shut myself off from my emotions. I vowed that I would go my entire life thinking things through with a logical mind and not let small things like anger or sadness affect the way I lived.” He paused for a moment and laughed ruefully. “That, in itself, is not that bad a way to live, I suppose.” he said with a wry smile that quickly disappeared. “The only problem was that I didn’t let myself get affected by other things, such as happiness, or friendship…or love.”
Twilight’s mouth hung open slightly in surprise, forming a perfect O shape. Silver saw this, and pressed on hastily before she could say anything. He had already started now, he didn’t think he would be able to stop. “It wasn’t like I was emotionally dead inside, you must understand. I was just…I dunno, immune might be a good word to describe it. Immune to the way the ones feelings can cloud their judgment, or make them do things they normally wouldn’t.” He sighed and shook his head. “I was fairly content this way actually, letting myself be ruled by nothing but my mind. I actually became quite good at it.” Silver smiled slightly, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I could be absolutely miserable, or furious beyond belief, and nopony would ever know unless I told them.” He paused, his smile faltering. “Throughout the funeral, I didn’t even shed a single tear...I was in complete control.”
The two ponies were quiet for the moment, the flickering candlelight blanketing them in its orange glow. Silver an expression that suggested as though something mildly troublesome was on his mind while Twilight had one purely of sympathy.
“That all changed one day, though.” He said suddenly, looking back up from his hooves at Twilight with shining eyes. “One day, I found that my control that I had perfected for so many years had just left me, and I couldn’t figure out why. My equilibrium was thrown off, I was knocked out of balance, my world was turned upside down, and it was all because of one single pony…” Silver looked Twilight straight in the eye as he said this, her hooves still in his grasp, causing her to tilt her head in confusion.
“One pony was all that it took to make me realize how…how stupid I’ve been.” He continued emphatically. “It took me a while, and a whole lot of thinking on my part, and probably a lot of confusion and patience on hers, but I eventually realized my mistake.” Silver felt his heart start to beat more rapidly in his chest as he ineffectively tried to swallow with a dry mouth.
“What my mother meant when she told me to not let my emotions control me and that I should be strong…wasn’t that I should completely shut myself off from them. By doing that, I now realize, I was still being controlled by my emotions as I let them change the way I think and act. No…what she meant was that I should accept them, but not be overwhelmed by them.” He dry swallowed once more, his rapid heartbeat making him breathless. “I was wrong to think that these things that I felt, love and hate, happiness and sadness, were weaknesses.” He smiled weakly. “Now, I know, they are valuable beyond measure, and that I’ve been stupid to repress them.”
Twilight’s eyes widened as Silver’s breathing started to become slightly more rapid as a result of his anxiety and nervousness. He hoped that she didn’t notice. He looked at her meaningfully as his chest rose and fell with deep, even breaths. “One pony helped me realize that I’ve been living my entire life on a misguided ideal that I was never supposed to have. She showed me just how…how beautiful these emotions that I've been trying to repress can be, probably without even realizing she was doing so, and I’m eternally grateful to her for doing so.”
Twilight was speechless, or at least, as close to speechless as she had ever been in her entire life. Even so though, she had an inkling that she knew what he was saying, or rather, what he was implying, and it brought a small smile to her face. “Wow…that’s quite the story.” she said quietly.
“Yeah...”Silver murmured, gazing into Twilight’s eyes, feeling himself get slightly lightheaded. “Twilight, I’ve never felt the same way about anypony that I do for you.” he whispered, causing her eyes to widen, her cheeks to redden, and unbeknownst to Silver Quill, her heartbeat to quicken.
He felt the words just start pouring out of his mouth like a dam that had burst from the overpowering flow of a river, but he did not try to stop them. “From the first moment I laid eyes on you, you suddenly became the only thing on my mind at all times. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw your face. Every time I looked away from you, I wanted nothing more than to look back. Every time you smile at me,” Silver made a pained grin. “I feel like my heart is on the verge of bursting.” He sighed and closed his eyes. “I’m not the smartest pony you’ll ever meet, the past few weeks have proven that, but I can say with all certainty…” he slowly opened his eyes again to behold once more the wide eyed mare. “that I love you, Twilight Sparkle.”
Twilight made a small choking noise deep in her throat and looked down in surprise, bringing a lavender hoof up to her chest. “M-my heart is racing...” She murmured in bewilderment. “It almost felt like it was going to leap out of my chest for a second there…” her brow furrowed in contemplation before she looked back up at him.
“What you just said, say it again.”
Silver didn’t hesitate, leaning forward a little more. “I love you Twilight Sparkle. I know that I’ve only known you for a little over a week and that ‘love’ is a concept that is completely foreign to me,” Silver gave her a tender smile. “but I’ve never been so sure of anything in my entire life.”
Twilight made a surprised oh! at hearing his words. “There it is again!” she said with bewilderment. “That’s so…” she shuddered slightly as she withdrew her hoof from her chest, holding it in the air aimlessly. “strange…”
Acting on nothing but what his instinct, or rather, his heart told him to do, Silver reached up a hoof and gently brushed away an errant lock of violet mane that hung in front of her face. “I love you, Twilight.” He repeated.
The mare blinked rapidly. “I..”
He gently cupped her cheek with his hoof, eliciting a surprised noise from her, a dreamy smile on his face as he gazed at the picture of perfection. “I love you, Twilight.”
Twilight reached up and lay her hoof against the one that caressed her cheek, closing her eyes as she leaned into it slightly, softly pressing it closer to her. Her breathing became shallower, but she had a look of such contentment on her face that Silver couldn’t help but smile wider.
“I love you Twilight.”
The librarian opened her eyes and smiled weakly at the Silver. “I love you too.” she whispered, so quietly that Silver could barely hear her.
But he did hear her, and as the sounds of her words traveled through the space in front of them and into the inner workings of his ears where the noises and inflections were analyzed in microseconds to glean their meaning, Silver felt as though a tidal wave had just passed over him.
A happiness of the likes he had never before felt, only heard about, burst inside of him, rendering him slightly dizzy and weak in the knees. His vision blurred before clearing in the span of time it took blink, as he was bombarded with so much joy that he thought he may break down and weep right on that spot. In the back of his mind, Silver was dimly aware of a small voice thanking the circumstances that resulted in him sitting down for this conversation, as he most likely would have fallen if he were standing.
His heart and mind were maelstroms of activity, clouded and energized by a feeling so profound that it was almost unreal. He wanted to weep and laugh at the same time, but he did none of those things. Instead, he only smiled.
The two ponies were lost for a moment, only to be brought back to reality by Silver’s voice as he spoke words he didn’t realize he was speaking. “Do you remember when we were on the ferris wheel…and you leaned in to kiss me?” he asked, his voice lighter than a feather.
“Yeah.” Twilight replied her voice just as quiet and breathy. Silver was dimly aware that she was very slowly getting closer to him, the space between them getting smaller by millimeters at a time.
“I stopped you…because I was afraid of breaking that promise.” Twilight gave an infinitesimal nod. “If you’d allow me…I’d like to correct that mistake.”
Silver saw her gulp. “Okay.” She squeaked.
The space between them continued to get smaller and smaller. The eyes of the two ponies were illuminated by the flickering light of the candle that was merely seconds away from running out of wick to burn, barely hanging on to what little life it had left.
Slowly, they closed their eyes in unison as the world was plunged into blackness, the candle having finally gone out as there was nothing left to burn. For a brief moment, the world seemed to hold its breath, like a choir taking a pause right before unleashing their voices in one tremendous crescendo.
…
Their lips touched, nothing more than feather light brushes against one another, but enough to send Silver’s mind reeling. From this close, he could detect the flowery smell of the shampoo she used combined with the naturally sweet odor that was hers. His closed eyelids fluttered for a moment and he forced his breathing to remain calm and even.
They made contact once more, their inexperience plain to see with how hesitant and nervous they were. The kiss was a bit deeper this time, a bit more passionate and loving, but it was still nothing more than a small touch, light and unsure.
They withdrew once more for the span of heartbeat, aware of nothing but the pony that lay in front of them in the darkness, only able to make out their faint outlines in the sparse amounts of moonlight that filtered through the window. Silver’s mind cried out in joy, blinding him with euphoria, but a primal part of him craved more than just feather light kisses. He would not let himself be too forward, however, no matter how much he wanted to take the mare in his forelegs and never let go.
His eyes opened with surprise as he felt a gentle hoof snake around his neck and force his head forward to meet her lips as she kissed him with a fiery passion, pulling him as close to her as possible and drawing in his presence. Silver responded in kind laying a hoof on her shoulder as he kissed her just as deeply, also pulling her into him while trying his best not to smile around the kiss, just as he could feel that she was.
Something bothered Silver’s closed eyes, and he opened them to a startling sight. No longer was the room covered in darkness. Their horns were illuminated, a bright white light from Silver’s and a light lavender from Twilight’s, casting them in a warm glow in each others embrace. Silver’s glowing horn pulsed and brightened to the time of his heartbeat, allowing him to only catch brief glimpses of her face that was so close to his. He noted with slight surprise that Twilight’s horn was also pulsing to the time of her own heartbeat, and that the pulses of light were perfectly in sync.
Silver closed his eyes once more, deciding that the light wasn’t important as he melted into the kiss, lovingly putting his other hoof on the back of her head and running it through her long mane. He couldn’t help but notice that her lips tasted sweet, no doubt from the Nightmare Night candy they been eating before.
Finally, their lips parted, the two ponies gasping and panting slightly from the lack of air. They looked at each other intently, intense blushes on both of their faces, their chests heaving as they were assaulted with feelings wholly unfamiliar with them. Their eyes shined in the light emitted from their horns, Twilight’s a dull white colour and Silver’s a pale lavender. Silver could see a pink blush adorning the mare’s cheeks, and he suspected that he was sporting his own as well.
“I’ve…never felt like this before.” The mare muttered, panting slightly as her head swayed dizzily. “Scared, excited, and happy all at once…it’s so strange.”
Silver nodded, not taking his eyes off of her. “I know.” He replied quietly. “I feel like I just ran from here to Canterlot and back in the span of 5 minutes.” Twilight giggled and nodded.
“It’s exhilarating.” She agreed with a slow nod. “And kind of scary, to be honest.”
Silver leaned in to plant a kiss on her nose, causing her ears to fall back against her head and her smile to widen. “I feel the same way Twilight.” he said, a euphoric rush passing through him as he said her name. “I feel more nervous than I ever have in my entire life, but I think that if we take this one step at a time…” Silver smiled, “and do what out hearts tell us, we should be okay.”
Twilight smiled back at him weekly as he ran his hoof through her soft mane, the light emitting from their horns rapidly fading to shroud them in darkness once again. Before the glow was extinguished completely, however, Silver could see a curious faint blue glow from the other side of the room behind Twilight that came from a gramophone radio that was sitting on a table. It enveloped the needle lifting it for a second before letting it fall onto the record with a scratching sound.
“Hey there everypony, this is Dr. Smooth coming at you live from Manehatten, and this is 92.1 Smooth Tunes, where the music keeps on flowing and the hearts keep on growing.” a deep voiced stallion announced from the gramophone. Silver frowned slightly at the interruption, but Twilight paid it no mind, so he didn’t either. He simply busied himself by staring at the pony in front of him, and she did the same. “We have a request tonight for some smoooooth tunes from one Starry Skies in Canterlot who asks us for some of Saphire Shores’ smooth sounds. This one goes out for you Starry...and for all of those lovers out there.”
Soft music started to emerge from the radio via magically transmitted relay from the station in Manehatten. A soft piano started the song off, gently rising and falling in pitch.
Silver didn’t recognize the song, but he found himself uncaring as the rather sweet melody permeated the room. His and Twilight’s shared smiles grew wider and their eyes more wistful as a soft, feminine voice sang.
Wordlessly, the two ponies leaned forward into one another in embrace, softly nuzzling against the other with a small sigh and smiling contentedly. Silver felt fireworks going off in his mind, loud and cacophonous explosions of colour with every sound and movement she made. He had to convince himself that this was real, that he wasn’t going to wake up to find out that this was a dream, but something in his heart told him that this was probably the most real he had ever felt in his entire life.
In the back of his mind, in the last vestige of logic that remained at the moment, Silver reflected on that strange blue glow that started the music. He recognized that glow, he had seen it before on the horn of an alicorn princess as she dotted the night sky with pinpricks of light and colour. Something was definitely strange about that, he figured, but he would have to think about the later.
He planted another kiss on Twilight’s cheek causing her to giggle and lean against him more until the two ponies were laying their heads on each other shoulders. Silver felt his eyelids droop, despite his best efforts to remain awake and bask in the moment. All that nervousness from before had come and gone, leaving him in an exhausted haze that pulled him closer and closer to sleep with every passing second.
Slowly, Silver felt himself succumb to weariness. The relaxed feeling of being so close to the mare he loved combined with the soothing sounds of the song were rapidly putting him to sleep. From the sound of her breathing, Twilight was feeling the same way, near to letting sleep overtake her. With a smile and one last nuzzle, Silver let his eyes close as he gave himself up to sleep, just missing the faint blue glow that removed the needle from the record as he did so, stopping the music and letting him rest in peace.
Outside the library, a tall figure shrouded in the darkness of night stood next to the window, a serene smile on its face as its gazed on the ponies inside. The figure spared itself a small, rewarding pat on the back before turning away, spreading its wings and taking to the skies, humming a happy little tune under its breath.