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// Table Manners 
// Story: Being Royalty 
// by Coronet the lesser 
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 With the morning activities finished Twilight and Luna enjoyed companionable silence with each other over their respective breakfasts. All that was heard was the clatter of occasional silver spoons against porcelain plates and the shuffling of servant’s hooves as they occasionally inquired whether their princesses required anything else.

Though the main reason for the silence was the seating arrangements, usually Luna and Twilight had their meals within their private dining room in the upper levels of the castle. With the exception of evening dinner (or breakfast in Luna’s case). The private room was preferable for many reasons....some more private than others.

Sadly due to the two princesses earlier actives in the throne room this morning the servants had been alerted to their presence and hassled them begrudgingly towards dinning in the grand hall. It had not seemed like a poor idea at the time. Twilight’s hunger outweighed her eagerness to return to bed and Luna had learned that it was not desirable to be in the way of a hungry Twilight, especially in the morning…or at lunch…or at dinner….really anytime in general. It seemed that the ascension had messed up Twilight's metabolism lately. She was more aggresive about food now. Apparently it was the same with Cadence for the first few weeks after her ascension according to Celestia. Neither sister could properly explain why. Thus Twilight and Luna were in mutal agreement about the need for breakfast sooner rather than later even if the hall would be slightly cold.

That was until they were given their seating arrangements. Due to the fact that the staff was either oblivious or ignorant of the relationship the two mares held, they decided it was wise to place Twilight on a separate throne like chair. But not Celestia’s one which was right next to Luna but rather on one about thirty five feet opposite of Luna. It was almost so far that Luna struggled to actually make out Twilight against the purple chair without squinting.

Luna had smacked her head against the table in frustration when the servants weren’t looking as a result she left a hole in the ‘three thousand bit’ fabric of the table cloth which had recently been imported from Saddle Arabia. Luna cursed the fact that her horn was so long and awkward. On more than one occasion it had gotten her stuck in an embarrassing situation.

Luna quickly covered the hole with a plate and held a fake smile as another servant passed by to place some leek soup for the princess. She nodded her head while holding his gaze making sure he didn’t see the damage to the table. Luna relaxed after the waiter departed again before sighing at the situation Twilight was in. From what Luna could see Twilight was extremely unhappy. The sort of frown Luna could only guess was on her face spelled out her now seething contempt for Luna who not only woke her up for a pointless exercise but now was forcing Twilight to sit on her own in the cold hall with an assortment of cutlery that Twilight in truth probably had absolutely no idea how to use properly.

Even though Twilight couldn’t see it, Luna was thoroughly embarrassed about the whole thing. Had Twilight been beside her she would have pointed out that Luna hiding half of her face with her mane was an indication of this embarrassment but she wasn’t so all the servants just assumed Luna was in thought about something since the princess hadn’t even touched her meal.

Luna had an excuse; she could almost feel the fires of Twilight’s eyes bore into her skull despite the distance, it was a very off putting factor to say the least. Sombra may have controlled great dark magical powers but the fear he inspired was almost secondary to a very disgruntled Twilight in the morning. 

If Luna was to be honest to Twilight, it had been entirely her fault for the seating arrangements. It was one of the many eccentric laws Luna and her sister passed in the early years of their reign. She and her sister were only young adults when they ascended, while often always striving to do the right thing, occasionally they had allowed more than a few odd laws to pass. It was often for just harmless humour usually enacted after a couple of bottles of the finest cider. While few remained in the present, they were those that had slipped by amendments by the judicial department.

Such as the law decreeing that no one may run with butter while also carrying milk, that rock farming was a legitimate profession upon which one was granted pay and  that all royal guards are to be male. 

The last one was more of a cultural thing than anything else. At the time mares were little more regarded than housewives despite the fact that the two heads of state were female. Luna supposed Celestia never got around to removing it.

The law that had landed Luna in the current position was one she had once considered absolutely necessary. It stretched back to the earliest days of the their rule. At the time mares were in truth second class citizens, with the exception of those of noble blood. Still the perception of an emotional imbalance that the fairer sex apparently had, was widespread back then. Stallions generally thought mares incapable of holding a ‘stiff upper lip’ or getting the job done to maximum capacity without having a breakdown. Luna remembered a particularly nasty conversation from her past in which a noble had said that all common mares were good for was upkeep of the residence and caring for the children. Though if Luna rightly remembered that very same stallion died alone and broke. Funny how the universe works like that.

Many foreign statesmen hoped to strike it rich or make a power grab by wooing the perceived weak and frail female monarchs of Equestria. Often they came bearing gifts or military parades or occasionally exotic animals. While originally Luna was fascinated, her curious nature was soon overwhelmed by irritation and disgust at the bigoted and over exaggerated nature of the would be ‘suitors’.

This had led Luna to declare that any head of state other than her sister would have to sit at the opposite end of dining table. It had been ingenious at the time. It maintained that the sisters respected the visiting monarch or prince as an equal while keeping whoever they were as far away from the sisters as possible. Thus negating the necessity to actual speak to the person whose IQ was  usually so low that they could have given a chicken a run for its money.

Luna had never thought the day would come upon which she actually wanted to sit next to another monarch outside of diplomatic meetings, thus an impasse was met. Luna needed a way to communicate with Twilight in order to calm her down to prevent the moon princess spending her sleeping hours on the royal couch later.

Suddenly inspiration struck her. Luna quickly called over one of the staff and whispered an instruction before the staff member nodded and exited the room.

Twilight meanwhile was unsatisfied. Not with the food, the castle chefs were arguably the best at what they did. Twilight was even friends with a few of them. That didn’t help that she was freezing, annoyed, exhausted and oddly enough lonely. The distance between her and Luna was cringe worthy at best and while she had accepted it to be a bit snarky, she blamed Luna for her troubles. Less so for the annoyance but rather for the fact that Luna had not spoken up for Twilight when the seating had been given. Luna, in Twilight’s mind, could have easily just requested that Twilight sit on the bench to the side of Luna. The whole secret relationship thing was becoming an annoying hindrance to both of them being friendly in public. It was grating Twilight’s already shot nerves.

Eventually Twilight resigned herself to playing around with the spoon in her now cold soup.  She supposed that she would have to wait until the Luna was finished, which was hard to judge.

Twilight eventually lifted her head upon hearing the familiar ‘poof’ of teleporting magic to find a small piece of paper and an ink bottle with quill. Twilight lifted the note with her magic unfolding it and read the words.

‘Hey.’

Twilight frowned furiously. That’s it. Just hey. Well I can see that this will be another one of our more ‘intellectual’ conversations, thought Twilight sarcastically. Twilight quickly scribbled down a reply and with a flick of her horn she sent it on its way.

Luna was surprised to find Twilight had replied so quickly. Now it was a matter of using Luna’s ‘expert’ social skills to perceive what Twilight’s mood was currently at. Luna glanced downwards while the servants weren’t looking.

‘That’s it, no sorry about this or anything like that. Just hey. Brilliant Luna I see you're using your thinking cap today.’

That was bad. Sarcasm was Twilight’s signature way of saying ‘I’m ticked off at you’. Luna had to handle this situation with the  uttermost care. So she did what the shy one of Twilight’s friends did, she apologised. Unfortunately for Luna in her apology she had decided to add a question mark to the end of it. In retrospect it was a poor idea.

Luna awaited the reply with eagerness. She had hoped that she had dispelled the tension between them and made up for this morning’s mishaps. What Luna did not expect was that instead of the paper and the quill, she received a bowl of cold soup which proceeded to drop down from over her head and spill said cold soup all over her mane.

Luna reacted instinctively by teleporting the salad she currently had to do the same to Twilight. Luna then cursed the fact that her experience with food fights from her youth was popping up again. Suddenly Luna felt a cut up orange smack her face leaving its juices trail down her coat. The attendants were shocked and one quickly ran over to the princess, towel in hoof.

“Princess are you alright? Here is a towel.”

"Bring me more food," Luna said narrowing her eyes and ignoring the outstretched towel. The servant merely nodding before backing off slowly with a questioning gaze. From what Luna could make out the same thing just happened at Twilight’s end. Luna prepared herself. She would teach Twilight a thing or two about fighting a war that the newly formed alicorn could not possibly win.

After another banquet of food had returned to the table the fireworks began. To many of the onlookers it was possibly the oddest sight they had ever encountered in all their years during the morning shift. A pie, soups, salads, desserts and even occasionally expensive wine was exchanged in a flurry of magical mastery and accuracy that only two alicorns could possibly wield. Some of the more conservative servants shook their heads at such a childish and shameful display for royalty to participate in before exiting.

In truth Luna and Twilight couldn’t give a damn. While originally the fight had begun out of irritation the two found themselves enjoying it after a while. In a way it was liberating to act so freely in what generally was the seat of conservative power in Equestria.  They cared little of the messy stains and ruined coats that they had gained in the process. They’re laughter and giggling was enough to free them from thoughts of decorum.

For Twilight it made her feel like she was back in Ponyville again. While she had never participated in a food fight there, the general sense of freedom and openness that this ‘fight’ gave her was exhilarating. It was a chance to finally relax and have fun for a bit. It was also great to see Luna acting like the fun real playful version of herself in public. So few ponies really ever saw her like that. Pinkie Pie would be proud of both of them.

For Luna, the ‘fight’ brought back memories of simpler times between herself and Tia. Those times had always been good. Before Discord, before court politics, before constant war and famine had hung over their heads, before Luna needed to always maintain a mask in public, before ponies considered them perfect. Back when the world made sense.

Not to say it didn’t make sense now but so much had changed and ponies were different now. They weren’t the simple agricultural creature they were before Discord and Sombra anymore. Ponies had thoughts of the wheels of industry always on their minds. Everything was so more advanced but also far more complex as well. Definitions of good and evil were harder to judge now. Ethics and being the better pony were more prevalent now but so was hypocrisy and corruption. Things were certainly different now. It was like Twilight had once said about Nightmare Moon when they started dating ‘There is no such thing as black and white anymore Luna, just different shades of grey.’

Luna’s thoughts were interrupted by an explosion of a teleport. Luna glanced up at Twilight, who was now standing on the table in front of Luna with a custard pie held in her magical grip. Luna could only gape as the pie slammed into her face and slid off onto her lap. The staff’s mouths were almost hitting the floor as Twilight did her 'yes' dance on the table.

“I believe I win Luna,” said Twilight as she picked up a piece of the pie and ate it. Twilight had a smug look on her face though that quickly changed when she realised what she had just done…in public…with everpony watching…while she dances on the most expensive table in the country.

Twilight chuckled nervously before climbing down off the table. Luna licked her mouth clean of the custard and blinked a few times. She then watched as an apple fell of the floor after Twilight knocked it getting down. Twilight also watched it go on its way for some reason.

The apple rolled towards the side doors of the dining room upon which it carried on until it hit a golden clad hoof near the centre of the doorway. A golden aura grabbed the apple before it quickly went up to the face of the pony in question. She was smiling deviously as she regarded the two princesses who were now in a near state of panic at the sight of the vistor.

“Having fun you two?” Celestia questioned with a smile as she proceeded to take a bite out of the apple.