WARNING: What you're about to witness was indeed the very first draft of "Know Your Mare". If there are small children in the audience... Good. They may be the only ones that will find this funny. The misspelled words originally in the script have been corrected. This alone has been the only edit to the piece.
Know Your Mare, Know Your Mare, Know Your Mare, Know Your Mare Know Your Mare...
Twilight Sprinkle...
...puts sprinkles on all her food...
"My name is Twilight Sparkle. Not sprinkle. Maybe it was a typo or something?"
Twilight SPARKLE...
...lives in a penthouse on the south side of Banana-Hanana...
"I don't think that's a real place. Plus, I live in a library... in a tree... It's nicer than it sounds."
Twilight Sparkle...
...takes fillies' lunch-money to pay for her lego empire...
"That's ridiculous! I don't even own any legos. And I've never once bullied a filly in all my life!"
And now you know...
Twilight Sprinkle...
"You said my name wrong again! Hello? I'm still here! Can you please take back what you said? You can keep the sprinkle bit in, but at least tell them everything else was a lie."
Makers, that was cringe-inducing...
It was the pilot! Art takes time, you philistine! So NEH!
Now come on, Cap'n. I thought it was funny.
See? A child thought it was funny. At least you have some demographic that thinks you're somewhat funny.
Mark my words... I will get my vengeance... On all of you!
Even me?
No. Not you, Pippy. Now go make some riceicles for everyone.
Yay!
Ugh... Can you at least use some sort of spice on it this time? Those things taste horrible...
WHAT!?
Adding flavorings to a riceicle?!
Don't you know anything? The riceicle is already perfect! To even attempt to improve upon it would be as foolish as trying to improve GOD!
...I really could use a steak right now...